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Being a gay male is a life ruiner. Reddit post.

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Taralen said:
It's not just words. It's non physical violence that sometimes you don't even see. It's not about growing up, or having thick skin.

The fact you can get fired for being gay because of the types of clothes you wear, or your voice, or because you looked at someone the wrong way.

All violence that isn't physical.
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You need to slow down and think clearly: being able to be fired isn't violence, but it isn't just words.

Mere words are only powerful if you give them power.
 
Draven said:
It's easy to feel like the penultimate victim when you live in an area wherein you are not 100% in compliance with the "hetero norm" then you are branded an outcast and shunned (only in much less theatrical terms). I've dated primarily White and Hispanic guys, mostly Hispanic men though most of my life and even by 2016 I still find it hard to see the "decent white guy" when most (of the ones in my area) are of the "let's shoot 'em up", skinhead, get drunk and beat my wife variety...and then there are gay White men which (I won't elaborate on because Kane, Refuji and Taralen have already covered that topic to a degree), needless to say because I am light-skinned these guys feel like they can automatically confide in me their racist and biased way of thinking which. But my point is it's hard to even want to look for the decency in a guy when you're turned off by their bigotry, and when it keeps happening time and time again you start to think that maybe there just aren't any decent White guys (where I live).
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I've been told I must have black blood because I don't go along with the fairly common racist views here -- my response is generally (since most of these guys claim to be Christian) that since Jesus died for what4ever blood I have, it makes no difference to me.

I concede that's that's a toned-down answer from what I;d really like to say, which is that if I do, then I'm honored, because it would mean I have blood from three continents, not just two, which I'd say is better than just having blood from a single continent -- the latter because I like to tromp on such boneheaded worldviews. It's toned down because I would rather not risk being beaten up or whatever when there's nothing to be gained from it.

Shunning can be hard, but again it's only painful if you believe that the people shunned you are of value and worthy or respect. There's a fair portion of the population here who essentially shun me, but I give them no more credence than I do the elk in the woods who shy away if I get near them -- in fact, less; the elk treat me with respect.
 
refujiunderground said:
You can't be serious.
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I'm quite serious.

refujiunderground said:
Let me guess. You're one of those cisgendered white masculine guys who nobody knows is bisexual so you never had to worry about shit.
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Since you're so lazy you resort to guessing, this isn't worth a response.

refujiunderground said:
And what you did mentioning the black pastor is basically some racist shit. Talking about not worth a response when you actually did already. Thank you for proving for my point. You are a fake intellectual.
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Oh, so when blacks don't affirm your prejudices, then learning anything from them is "racist"?

Grow up.
 
Kulindahr said:
You need to slow down and think clearly: being able to be fired isn't violence, but it isn't just words.

Mere words are only powerful if you give them power.
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It is violence. Violence is anything that causes harm to you or someone else.

It can be physical. "I was just punched in the face."

It can be verbal. "Shut the fuck up idiot."

It can be mental. "As soon as I came into the room, people stopped talking and refused to give me eye contact."

In turn to mental abuse, it also can be psychological/systematical. "Gays aren't allowed to come in here". Getting fired for being gay, being refused housing because you're gay.

So yes. That is violence, being fired for being gay.

I think you mean, words are only power if you give them power, by if you take things personally like, "He called me a faggot, I'm so depressed." etc.

No that's not what I mean.

What I'm saying, is that you come out as gay or talk about gay issues in the break room, then there are higher ups behind your back wanting to fire your ass and we have to accept it and not be upset or mad about it. How is that giving words power? Although that was violence against words and actions.

Explain Lucy.
 
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused.

Some people have a thick skin and don't feel abuse
Some people have a thin skin and feel abused is you look at them

 
Kulindahr said:
Yes. When you find someone stretching it to cover "anything that upsets me", it's guaranteed you have a whiner on your hands.
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I'm not whining, we are having a conversation and trying to put resolution and conclusion to an array of issues.

This is exact what the issue is. We are told to ignore it and turn the other cheek, and to just have thick skin, which is fine, I'm all for that, it's a good approach.

But the tea kettle is eventually going to boil over the stove and cause a mess if it's not dealt with.
 
Taralen said:
I'm not whining, we are having a conversation and trying to put resolution and conclusion to an array of issues.

This is exact what the issue is. We are told to ignore it and turn the other cheek, and to just have thick skin, which is fine, I'm all for that, it's a good approach.

But the tea kettle is eventually going to boil over the stove and cause a mess if it's not dealt with.
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When you put the words of people not worth listening to on par with being beat up, you're whining.

BTW, it isn't "having thick skin", it's making a rational analysis in answer to the question "Are these people anything different from howling baboons?" It's realizing that you are valuable and enough so that their words have no effect on that.
 
Kulindahr said:
When you put the words of people not worth listening to on par with being beat up, you're whining.

BTW, it isn't "having thick skin", it's making a rational analysis in answer to the question "Are these people anything different from howling baboons?" It's realizing that you are valuable and enough so that their words have no effect on that.
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But it's not about fucking words.

I'm a black feminine gay man. I'm very low on the tower of success as far as society goes.

I can ignore, disguise or pretend my position doesn't exist, but it does.

I'm not whining, I'm being realistic. In society eyes, I'm never going to be on top or at a good advatnage to be on top. Which would be a white, transgender masculine male.
 
Being gay is amazing.

Reading the first two posts of this thread made me kinda wanna wrap a noose around my neck, though. Gonna just bike to the beach instead.
 
TheLoveableLoner said:
Being gay is amazing.

Reading the first two posts of this thread made me kinda wanna wrap a noose around my neck, though. Gonna just bike to the beach instead.
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Stop kidding yourself please.

You're also masculine to my knowledge so you have it easier.
 
Taralen said:
Stop kidding yourself please.

You're also masculine to my knowledge so you have it easier.
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I'm not kidding myself.

Some would consider me masculine, some not. I'm definitely cis-gendered. Bring gay is amazing.

I have many problems in life but being gay isn't one of them. :)
 
Taralen said:
Stop kidding yourself please.

You're also masculine to my knowledge so you have it easier.
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To say one might have it easier because of x reason is silly. Just because one might be "masculine" doesn't mean that in the very least. That person is still gay and being open about that leaves that same person up for just the same amount of bullshit that another might experience.
 
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