Can large heavy people take a joke ?

[mauveb]

Honesty, when being cruel, is no virtue. In instances such as the one purported to have happened, it is a feeble excuse to be a cad.

Plenty of people may be deemed unattractive by others, both for things they had no control over, and for things within their choices. Is it going to be an imperative to announce to someone, "when those zits on your face clear up, come back and try me then"?

Or maybe "you appear to be older than your age, and it is repulsive to me"?

Or, "you drive a STATION WAGON? Seriously?"

Or "ewwww, you're a ginger"?

Using the anonymity of online foils does afford rude people the leeway to get away with what ugliness they would often be ashamed to commit in person.

It is telling that the champions of rudeness here are very deeply hidden persons indeed.

Just exactly which of those

The world of hooking up is harsh. When you put yourself out there you're exposing yourself to all kinds of criticism. You can either take your lumps and move on or come here and whine about it.

I thought you said you dumped them after 4 or 6 weeks?

Go back and read/quote the post properly please.

 

[Telstra]

Unless you are the size of a butterfly, and you erstwhile hookup an elephant, phrasing his weight in terms of crushing you is simple cruelty via hyperbole.

As it is, you hide your appearance on JUB, so all this is pointless speculation. You could be big, small, young, old, handsome, homely, red, yellow, white, whatever. But, for a man who goes on and on about others' appearances, you choose to hide your own. Easy that.

Funny how i never see what you look like.
Talking about hypocrites ...

 

[mauveb]

Unless you are the size of a butterfly, and you erstwhile hookup an elephant, phrasing his weight in terms of crushing you is simple cruelty via hyperbole.

As it is, you hide your appearance on JUB, so all this is pointless speculation.

With all the creeps and pervs on here? you bet. Though coming from a guy with a heavily photoshopped picture of strictly his face, i dont feel threatened lol FYI, 27yrs, 5'11", 125lbs. And weather or not someone posts a picture here doesn't prove its actually them. Something else you should have learned from hookup sites.

Let me be honest, whenever i read or hear someone say something like this it usually comes from the biggest asshole or people who like to bully others.

No. A bully comes out of the blue and attacks you. The OP was approached by the other.

 

[mauveb]

You're 125 lbs at 5'11"?

Good gracious.

I was 145 lbs at that height when I was in my 20s. Everybody thought I was too skinny.

Exactly, and ive heard some nasty shit at the other end of the spectrum, and im not here to crusade about the rudeness of people on hookup sites, if i did that, id never have found the ones who were interested.

 

[mauveb]

The trouble is that this opinion completely contradicts science and what we know about biology. As one doctor said,"All diets work. All diets fail."

You may or may not be unempathic, but sir, you certainly are medically uninformed.

Ill tell you what else is true, it's a lot easier to gain weight than to lose it, but thats no excuse not to try and be persistent about it. And its not that i dont accept medical and genetic factors, i just don't accept capitulation on those grounds. My own sister has a serious weight problem, she eats her emotions, im obviously the opposite. We both have to work at it.

 

[mauveb]

I am just being honest and criticizing your opinion that you put out there.

Id hardly call it an opinion, most institutions have clearly defined guidelines on what constitutes bullying. The person making unwanted sexual advances is more likely to be accused of harassment before the recipient who harshly turned it down is accused of bullying.

 

[LilBit]

Between this thread and the Ann Coulter discussions from last week, I'm really dismayed by the number of people defending incivility.

 

[mauveb]

^I believe you, Mauve.

The trouble is that your opinions don't jibe with modern medical knowledge.

I believe the statistics are this: 2% don't have any problem with their weight--either in their past, or in their life.
Another 25% of the people are genetically prone to gaining weight--like most humans--but have the ability to contain it.

The rest--well over 70%--are genetically disposed to overeat, and have little or no control over it. Homo sapiens evolved during an epoch when food was scarce; our bodies have evolved to optimize based on frequent periods of famine. This brought about a genetic predisposition to store calories.

Mauveboy, I have known many people in my life. I am here to tell you that very few people succeed in the long term at dieting--I believe the actual percentage sits at 5%. Just look around you! If weight was so easy to control, don't you think the rich and famous would succeed at it? Yet nearly every one of them struggles with their weight.

What I'm having trouble understanding about you, Mauveboy,is not that you're medically uninformed--it's the fact that you're defending cruelty.
Why are you doing that, man?

I still have a hard time accepting the OP's statement as cruelty, i mean, we've all heard much worse, and a joke, even in bad taste, isn't quite the same as outright and vulgar insults or personal attacks.

Im not encouraging cruelty, im just saying, its a hook up site, what do you expect? people just want sex, and they're very specific about what they want, and not everyone is going to take the time to be PC, polite or nice to everyone they reject, and half of them aren't even nice after getting some. Thats the price of playing the game. If you hurt easily than hookup sites are really not for you.

 

[mauveb]

not really contradicting myself. Basically saying what else do you expect from such a site. I myself was pretty damn direct with people when i used them, not everyone liked it, they could call me cruel if they wanted, i called it having a 60 hour work week with very little time off.

Chalk it up to different people expecting different things from the same sites. If the OP had sought out this person to insult him, i wouldnt be defending him against what seems to me to be an overreaction.

 

[pat grimshaw]

… I'm really dismayed by the number of people defending incivility.

I'm dismayed too but somehow I'm reminded of~

 

[mauveb]

i dunno after ten years of customer service ive heard alot worse so i guess it doesnt phase me as much anymore.

i like this queen better:

 

[Telstra]

^I believe you, Mauve.

The trouble is that your opinions don't jibe with modern medical knowledge.

I believe the statistics are this: 2% don't have any problem with their weight--either in their past, or in their life.
Another 25% of the people are genetically prone to gaining weight--like most humans--but have the ability to contain it.

The rest--well over 70%--are genetically disposed to overeat, and have little or no control over it. Homo sapiens evolved during an epoch when food was scarce; our bodies have evolved to optimize based on frequent periods of famine. This brought about a genetic predisposition to store calories.

Mauveboy, I have known many people in my life. I am here to tell you that very few people succeed in the long term at dieting--I believe the actual percentage sits at 5%. Just look around you! If weight was so easy to control, don't you think the rich and famous would succeed at it? Yet nearly every one of them struggles with their weight.

What I'm having trouble understanding about you, Mauveboy,is not that you're medically uninformed--it's the fact that you're defending cruelty.
Why are you doing that, man?

oh no,
"you might crushed me" jokingly becomes cruelty. What the?

 

[Telstra]

I don't agree with you about the cruelty. A person who says,"You could crush me." isn't merely telling a suitor that he's not his type, he's actively trying to shame and humilate him.

Even though we don't agree on this issue, I do see that we share an interest in diet, health, and nutrition. On that topic, there are new horizons in the topic of diet science. In at least one case, something doctors have been telling us for decades may prove to be absolutely false.

But this isn't the place to talk about it. If you hold interest in it, drop me a line. I think the rates of obesity might lower if we take the right approach.

"you might crushed me" = actively trying to shame and humiliate ?
Wow wow wow LOL

 

[Kahaih]

not really contradicting myself. Basically saying what else do you expect from such a site. I myself was pretty damn direct with people when i used them, not everyone liked it, they could call me cruel if they wanted, i called it having a 60 hour work week with very little time off.

Chalk it up to different people expecting different things from the same sites. If the OP had sought out this person to insult him, i wouldnt be defending him against what seems to me to be an overreaction.

But, we’re not on a hookup site, are we?

The title of this thread is an open question to anyone reading Hot Topics, and wasn’t ‘joke’ specific.

And the question in the opening post was not presented to a person on a hookup site; it was presented to the readers/members of JUB.

The hookup scenario was used/presented as an example.

 

[G-Lexington]

Wow, this thread is on page FOUR? I'd say I need to give Telstra a hand.

Lex

 

[Redsox]

I just find it amazing that intelligent people can get worked up so easily and drag things on for so long.

Anyway, it's entertaining.

 

[LilBit]

What are you talking about? It's on page 9. :c)

It's on page 2 for Li'l Bit.

 

[LilBit]

: o

You just outed yourself as a federal agent.

Hrm? Are you smoking the crack rock?

 

[LilBit]

Hrm. I dunno. I have Roadrunner. The threads that are filled with embedded YouTube videos take forever to load, but the others load just fine for me.

 

[kombatwombat]

I think fat people can take jokes, they've probably been dealing with them for a long time.
I think the block was probably because when someone is sensitive about some aspect of themselves, haven't made peace with it, and someone points that flaw/thing out to them, it's embarrassing and hurtful. More compassion toward self and other on both sides, and life will be good.