Coping with penis size...

[oh-yeah]

I've been having to cope with penis size and its always been discouraging for me to being able to have a relationship.

I'm 28 in decent shape and not so bad on the eyes.

I haven't had any problem with meeting people and getting dates. But it's been difficult for me to be intimate with others.

The reason is I have a small penis. I mean it's really small compared to everyone else. It's about 2 inches when flaccid and 4 inches when erect.

I just don't know what to do. Actually there's nothing I can do about except to talk about it which haven't shared with anyone at all, until now.

So, I decided to post here and vent a little for the first time sharing this with others. At least there is some anonymity here which puts me at ease.

I really wish I had a bigger size penis like the average size at 6 inches. Shit, I'd probably be OK with 5 inches... but alas that can't happen.

This has really affected me in having relationships, I'm afraid... it's depressing for me to imagine what others will think when they find out I have a small penis.

I tend to cut things off with someone when they express interest in going further and want to have a relationship with me. And it also hurts when I like someone but I won't go and talk to them because what if they do like me to... a relationship would be a natural thing to eventually occur.

It's been difficult for many years now and it's only getting worse for me because I'm not getting any younger and would like to have someone in my life. It looks like I'll be alone for a long time.

I'll have people I know, friends, acquaintances and relatives -- but no one by my side to love and be loved.

I think about it a lot... about meeting someone, getting married and all. That's all I can do, though... is just think about it. Knowing that it'll never happen for me.

Really... how can it?
Who wants a guy with a samll penis anyways.

They say size doesn't matter but that's a bunch of bullshit. Everybody wants a big fat dick whether you're a guy or girl. Size DOES matter.

That's what they want... you hear it all the time. I'm mean how can I compete with that. Really I can't, I'm nowhere close to competing.

Well, anyways that's my venting for now, I just had to let it out and share my thoughts.

Your thoughts and feedback are welcome.

Thanks for listening... uh, I guess reading in this case.

 

[hyperion]

Question: Do you prevent yourself from being intimate or do guys not want to because of your penis size?
My 2 cents, size does matter, but up to a certain point. Too big is like too small, for me anyways. I do not consider 4 inches as 'too small'. I've seen guys with only a penis head, no shaft. And any guy who would dump you solely based on your penis size is either lying or not worth your time.

 

[HartfordGuy]

You are right. Size does matter. For most people.

Not all people.

First of all, most of us regardless of our size wish it were longer. LOL
So you are not alone in that.

I am a bottom. I've been told by several tops "I don't care how big or small your cock is. You'll be face down anyways, who cares?" LOL. And some tops don't even suck dick.

So if you are a bottom with a small one it really doesn't matter to them.

Now if you are a total top.......yeah, that can be an issue. Unless you meet a small framed guy who can't take a big one. Then he'll really appreciate you.

As for flacid? Most guys are growers, not showers. Most flacid cocks are half their full size or less even. So a 2 inch flacid one really doesn't look much different from a 3 inch flacid one.

So don't be so hard on yourself. Yes, size matters. But not for everyone.

 

[Horschallen]

Oh yeah... I can relate to your experience, and too share the same frustrations. I Many people do not understand the issue. Yes, it has been my experience with some of the men I bedded down with and have not had repeat business with them. And I do have an extreme case of penis envy, and tend to want someone with a much bigger cock. Many chasers are not as endowed as I'd like them to me. I am 50 and have resorted to the fact that I will most likely not have anyone in my life. It is generally hard for me to discuss the issue of endowment with therapists because I am sure many of them are not trained to comprehend the complexity of having below average endowment. I once fell in love with someone big time and when we finally bedded down, I was surprised to find him around 4 inches. I was disappointed, but I did not let him know. When he decided not to go further with me in a relationship for other reasons, I kept reminding myself that he is just not endowed enough... maybe as a way to appease the pain I experienced from being rejected by him. So, Yeah, many people do not understand and whenever one says, "Size does not matter," inside my head, I just roll my eyes. So I do tend to be a bottom in my encounters.

 

[Bloke1964]

There are size queens on both sides of the fence. Some like big and some like it small. 4 inches is actually just below average. It is sort like getting an A+ or an A...
Is there a difference?

If you are good looking and kind and more importantly know how to use your pecker then you should not have any problems finding someone.

Life is too short too worry about everything, especially when there isn't much you can do to change it.

 

[ozguy]

I understand, to a certain extent, why you feel the way that you do. We tend to think that our penis is, after all, what makes us men. And the bigger the penis, the more of a man we consider ourselves to be. Even if it is not consciously thought about, this is the underlying reality we have. And for men like yourself, this reality is all the more marked.

The real problem, however, is not your small penis, it is your low self esteem. You have to learn to base your worth as a person on yourself as a human being, not on how much money you make, or how handsome you are, or how big your house, or your car, or your penis is. You are not having problems with intimacy because you have a small penis. You are having trouble because you feel impotent. You feel less than a man.

Start feeling good about yourself and penis size will no longer be an issue for you. You won't have to feel unhappy or frustrated or discouraged, because you won't feel as impotent. You won't have to feel ashamed, because your self worth will not be centered around your penis, but on your character, on who you are as a person.

Get happy first, start believing that there's more to you than just what's between your legs, and everything else will fall into place.

 

[crisnyc]

There's a song by a singer named Maria Muldaur, who was a blues singer, I think in the 70's. Anyway, the title of the song sums up my feeling about the subject: "It's Not the Meat, It's the Motion." End of story.

Cris

 

[cmhcrew]

I understand, to a certain extent, why you feel the way that you do. We tend to think that our penis is, after all, what makes us men. And the bigger the penis, the more of a man we consider ourselves to be. Even if it is not consciously thought about, this is the underlying reality we have. And for men like yourself, this reality is all the more marked.

The real problem, however, is not your small penis, it is your low self esteem. You have to learn to base your worth as a person on yourself as a human being, not on how much money you make, or how handsome you are, or how big your house, or your car, or your penis is. You are not having problems with intimacy because you have a small penis. You are having trouble because you feel impotent. You feel less than a man.

Start feeling good about yourself and penis size will no longer be an issue for you. You won't have to feel unhappy or frustrated or discouraged, because you won't feel as impotent. You won't have to feel ashamed, because your self worth will not be centered around your penis, but on your character, on who you are as a person.

Get happy first, start believing that there's more to you than just what's between your legs, and everything else will fall into place.

Well said, listen to Ozguy!


Of all the relationships I've had in my life the one I regret messing up and having to let go of (my alcoholism caused it) is one with a man who was just beautiful through and through. We could discuss anything together, we only needed to look across a crowded room and smile at each other and we knew everything in each other's hearts. We knew how to argue well too, so that neither was ever hurt and we never had to go to bed mad. I've never yearned for another person, their glance, their touch the way I did his and after three years it was still as exciting as the first night we met. If I could ever be granted a do-over in this life it would be to go to him and be the person I know how to be now sober.

The sex has incredible, I had orgasms that shattered the ideas of how great orgasm could be........and his cock was a whopping 4 inches when rock hard. God, I loved that cock, it was beautiful. When he topped me (we switched back and forth) he made sure to hit the prostate with every thrust, amazing!

He had to move on due to my issues, he's been with the same man he met a year later ever since, that was 20 years ago.

His cock size was irrelevant to his manhood, his beauty, his loveability, and so your cock size is beautiful because it's you.

Focus on all that makes a good person and be that, be happy with who you are and learn to love all of you....now that's sexy.

 

[3nipples]

Most guys don't really care how big yours is; it's theirs that they're concerned about.

I've had relationships with both large and small and I'm being honest when I say that the small guys (one smaller than you) were more fun in bed. Definitely better than a Mr. Huge who thinks he should be worshipped and really doesn't know what to do with it.

Even if it were true that most guys preferred big dicks, which I don't actually believe, there would still be a significant number of guys that didn't care.

Your head is the problem, not your dick.

 

[oh-yeah]

Hey Guys,

Your words are encouraging, Thanks.

I understand that not everybody prefers a bigger size penis but its the majority that you always hear. Granted there are those that size isn't an issue but that's where it can be difficult sometimes... is finding that person or persons.

I agree that maybe my self-esteem may be affected but the reality is most DO prefer a larger size to play with and its not just me. Its the society that we live in and the expectations they have that we have to deal with.

Like said before I have no problem meeting people but its just when it get to a certain point in the relationship. I know have more to offer than just what's between my legs but you have to understand I want to be more for them as well and give them what they need too, it also includes what happens intimately.

Being intimate with someone is part of the relationship, if you lack there it can affect the relationship. Can it not??

Its a big issue even with straight couples... many being unsatisfied with their partner sexually. I just don't want to be the one at fault not being able to satisfy my partner. A fear I have.

In a way, yes, my lack of size does make me feel inferior sometimes. Its really the the fact of meeting the the expectations of others which really gets me down. For the majority I can't meet those expectations -- for the minority it doesn't matter much. But you do agree... we live in a world that is comprised of the majority.

 

[jockboy01]

I know size queens... and I've never understood them.

For a long term relationship, I think size is never that important to anybody. If you truly love a person, superficial crap doesn't mean anything. In a short term, one night stand or fuck buddy relationship... yeah, it's important to people and I can see that. They are VERY different types of relationships.

 

[luminum]

I've made my way around and mine is about your size if not less. I've topped a few times, but I enjoy being a bottom. Being intimate isn't all about pentration (as a top or a bottom). There are so many other things you can do. I love receiving and giving oral sex, and when penetrative sex comes into play, it's just one more thing.

You're letting this get to you too much. If you're really into someone and you guys move forward and they can't handle the fact that your penis is 4 inches, then they just don't know how to have good sex. All they think is that good sex means penis = big. When youf ind someone who doesn't care, then you've met someone who knows how to rock the boat no matter what size their partner is, and hopefully you know how to as well.

Trust me, I've satisfied many a partner and myself and my penis is less than the average length.

 

[BrandonSBCA]

I've been waiting for a thread like this for a while now. Not sure I can post the great advice and encouragement that everyone has already posted on this thread. But I can sure tell you one thing that I've learned. That if you find someone that will like you for you and not what's in your pants then you really shouldn't worry. You might be sad because of your dick being 4 inches. Here is a long story that you probably won't read to the end, but then you'll stop and think that your issue isn't as bad.

My dick is about 3 inches, about 1 inch smaller than yours I know what you are going through with the whole depression, you shouldn't let your size bother you, especially when it comes to finding someone. If you find guys that will not like you for the size of your dick then you should ignore them and find a different guy. It takes a lot of men to weed out to find that person to start a relationship with.

I found my partner he didn't care about my size, I was happy that he liked my size, I loved the size of his as well. But we didn't fall in love for each other's dicks, we fell in love for other reasons, because we felt a connection, felt that we could both give each other love...

Anyways when it came down to the two of us having sex, he was 5.5 inches which was about the average size, he even thought that his dick might be small, but he was totally wrong when he put it to the test on me, we were just trying ourselves out to see if he was able to top me, well he did top me, I loved every moment of it. When I was up to see if I could top him with my 3 inches I was unable to, we tried about two different positions that month, I couldn't fuck him at all. I was so depressed, he told me not to worry about it, that it doesn't matter if I could top him or not. I told him I wasn't letting it bother me, but deep down inside it did bother me.

That month I was wishing that I could of been able to grow about 2 more inches so I could be at the same size as my partner. I was even starting to label myself as a bottom due to the fact of being too small to fuck him. He left back to Oregon and he visited again in June, we had sex again, and this time he topped be, he was able to stick all 5.5 inches into and it felt great like always. When it came to trying to top him I failed, we even tried all the positions I could think of, on his stomach, on his back, then going to the head of the bed and me trying to stand up, we tried him on his back, with his ass high (putting pillows together so he could reach up towards my dick) well when I tried it, I couldn't do it, I tried it slow, then tried it fast....No matter how much I put into it I couldn't fuck him with 3 inches. I'm still a bottom though, even though I can't top I try not to let it bother me.

Both of us are over 240 pounds my boyfriend being 287 pounds and me being 248 pounds. Some people have already told us that we need to at least lose 100 pounds. I'm not going to be that skinny just so I can fuck my boyfriend, I like the way I look and no way I'm going skinny just to do that.

Anyways point of this stupid story is that no matter how much you think you have a small dick, you'll always have someone else smaller than you, also yeah you can say that I'm lucky because I have my partner, but if a guy with a 3 inch dick can have a partner so can you...

 

[Corny]

ok for what i post here my ex and probably also my current bf would kill me

the part for which my ex would kill me:
my ex wasn't big at all. but that never stopped him from anything, nor did stop me of course at first i thought "hu? oh that's not that big" but that was about it. i loved everything about him, including his member. we never talked about it, and i believe he never had an issue or bad thoughts because of it.
the part for that my current bf would kill me:
now i have um .. kinda the opposite, and while i agree that is really nice on the eye, i sometimes remember the advantages that smaller penises have.

everything has a pro and a contra. and in the gesamtkunstwerk* it doesn't matter at all how big the penis of a person is.
people who put much weight on penis size usually aren't searching for a serious relationship anyway.

and about that people bragging about wanting big dicks. you'd be surprised how they are really endowed, or how their partners are. it's always fun when i hear from a gf that xy's bf is supposed to have a great dick and how he pleases her so well etc, and when i see him in the shower it's clear soon that at least the dick size is all made up



*sorry i just can't translate that word. the wikipedia definition about it's meaning in architecture is what i mean.

 

[antdak]

I can agree totally with what every body has said here. It is not the size, but the person! Those who say it not the size but what you do with it. . . is kinda right. You may want to do all kinds of things with it, but it is phsyically impossible. Like Brandon said, we have tried all most every positon we can think of, but he is just to small to enter me. It just might be impossible for him to fuck me! I don't care that he can or cannot, that is not important! I told him, that if we never have sex again, it will be allright, at least I will be with him! But we will not give up trying. . .
I think it was good advice that you do not let guys give you a chance, you might be surprised, and yes it may hurt a bit when they reject you, BUT if they reject you because of your penis size, then you do not want them in your life any ways, they are not BF material. I hope you can feel better, and give it some time, and you will find the person for you! Good luck. . . .

 

[oh-yeah]

Hey Guys,

Wow, Thanks for your encouraging words again.

It's comforting to hear that I'm not the only one going thru this experince and that there are others that face the same or similar situation. I knew that there were guys out there dealing with this too but I haven't had anyone to talk to about it to find out. As you can guess why.

The trouble is, they are not even getting a chance to reject you if you do it first. What if the next guy you meet who shows an interest is rejected by you before he has the chance to let you know that he doesn't give a damn about your size. What if he goes away thinking it was something wrong with him?

ffwd, you're absolutely right! I guess didn't see it that way for a long time. I was always rejected them in a way. Even though I really wanted to be with them. I guess I haven't been giving them a chance which is unfair for them... even though my fear is still there, I can at least keep in mind I should give them a chance before allowing my fear anxieties get the better of me.

gesamtkunstwerk* *sorry i just can't translate that word. the wikipedia definition about it's meaning in architecture is what i mean.

Corny, thanks for the inspiring word. It really hit me to heart when I read it.

I can agree totally with what every body has said here. It is not the size, but the person! Those who say it not the size but what you do with it. . . is kinda right. You may want to do all kinds of things with it, but it is phsyically impossible. Like Brandon said, we have tried all most every positon we can think of, but he is just to small to enter me. It just might be impossible for him to fuck me! I don't care that he can or cannot, that is not important! I told him, that if we never have sex again, it will be allright, at least I will be with him! But we will not give up trying. . .
I think it was good advice that you do not let guys give you a chance, you might be surprised, and yes it may hurt a bit when they reject you, BUT if they reject you because of your penis size, then you do not want them in your life any ways, they are not BF material. I hope you can feel better, and give it some time, and you will find the person for you! Good luck. . . .

antdak, thanks for your response it's good to hear it from somebody that is actually with someone that has to cope with size, as myself. That it really doesn't matter... I know you guys have been saying that but its only now that I actually hear this from anyone at all.

With all the noise out there about "big size", you can understand that it can be overwhelming at times and with all that noise be difficult to keep a positive outlook on things.

 

[ozguy]

oh-yeah ..... http://www.enlargepenisguide.com/index.htm ... in case you're interested.

No idea if any of that stuff really works, but no harm in trying (and the clips aren't bad, either! )

PS ..... still feel you've got nothing to worry about, but only you have to believe that!

Cheers, buddy!

 

[wildhog]

go with the flow dude and simply enjoy the sex when it happens.

 

[oh-yeah]

Ozguy... wouldn't hurt to look into - Thanks for the info. Much Appreciated.

 

[neruda]

Should love be dependent only on size ...its not a love worth pursuing...
If it just sex you're after, however, then sure --- youre out of luck.

Just trying to be candid here.
Y'know....