Could you be friends with someone who opposed gay marriage?

[kallipolis]

^now would you go to his wedding when you are invited?


Subject work schedule, and other related matters, YES. Why should I be influenced by his bad example? I observe my own values, that are definitely not his.

seeing as he's thinking it's okay to deny the same thing to you

Why repay one bad act, with another? That repayment places me on his level. No thanks. I respect myself, far too much, to be easily led by the ignorance of another.

and yes i hate homophobes and seriously don't understand them. as far i'm concerned they can go rot in hell.

Your choice to play their game, by their rules.

 

[heartfly77]

It is very difficult. One of my best friends of nine years is very religious. Besides this one issue, we are best friends. He doesn't agree with homosexual acts. He doesn't support gay marriage, even if it was mine. I have a hard time compromising that. I asked him someday when his girls are grown up, how he will explain me to them. He said he didn't know. So I guess we'll see how long this friendship will last.

 

[PreTTy PeTe]

What better way to influence, and persuade people, to our point of view, than to disown them as our friends. What a lost opportunity. I prefer not to dictate to my friends.

it's a friendship not a political debate. when i make friends they have to value me who i am as a person. as i value them for being someone that i choose to share some of my life with. the lost opportunity is theirs for not having me in their lives.
i can debate with strangers but friends should know how we hurt and why we hurt. if they don't they're not true friends.

Your choice to play their game, by their rules.

they chose the playing field..........let the games begin

 

[biguy732]

I could - it is just not a topic that you bring up in conversation. Kind of like religion, politics, and abortion - I run the other way when those are brought up at a party. I will make any excuse in the world to get out of that conversation.

 

[PreTTy PeTe]

It is very difficult. One of my best friends of nine years is very religious. Besides this one issue, we are best friends. He doesn't agree with homosexual acts. He doesn't support gay marriage, even if it was mine. I have a hard time compromising that. I asked him someday when his girls are grown up, how he will explain me to them. He said he didn't know. So I guess we'll see how long this friendship will last.

see this is where you and me differ. i would have told him to fuck off the first time he said something homophobic. i don't let these kind of people waste my time.

my question and ask him......what the hell will he do if one(or both) of his daughters ends up being a lesbian? what will he do then? poor kids

 

[CaptainRush]

I voted yes I would be friends. If someone is against gay marriage it is either based off of religious grounds or not. If it is religious, it's a harder hurtle. If it's not religious, give them all the facts. Tell them that it is civil marriage, not religious marriage and that the fact that the there is a legal institution for a man and a women to spend their life together under the law, it is not fair that two people of the same sex can't spend their life together under the law with that same public institution - marriage.

 

[heartfly77]

see this is where you and me differ. i would have told him to fuck off the first time he said something homophobic. i don't let these kind of people waste my time.

my question and ask him......what the hell will he do if one(or both) of his daughters ends up being a lesbian? what will he do then? poor kids

I have asked him that. He said that he would still love his kids if they were gay. He just wouldn't support the lifestyle.

Sometimes it is very difficult to change someone's mind once they have that ingrained. I just try to stay away from that subject as I know we both will not back down from our beliefs. I have tried to change his mind. But I also can understand because it's not like he's going to make me change mine.

 

[DiamondSkin]

IMO, anyone who's friends with someone who opposes gay rights when they themselves are gay has no fucking self-respect.

This image explains it all:

Miss Daisy: Why, of course not, Driver. I don't support racial integration or that nonsense. The thought of black men marrying white women makes me vomit. But I DO hope we can still be friends despite our different political opinions.

Driver: Why, yes, ma'am! Shall I do a tap dance for ya, mahster?

Miss Daisy: I'm so glad we're friends!

 

[SkinnyBoi87]

I've talked regularly about the "Gay Marriage Debate" with my Windows class instructor at school. She knows I am gay, and we talk about gay rights, my boyfriends, etc. We're really not like instructor and student, she treats me like a person & states her opinion. She is opposed to gay marriage, because she said it makes her feel discriminated against. She is against gay marriage, but is totally supportive of me.

 

[operafan]

Never. I could never be a close friend -- a casual acquaintance friend, yes but not a close friend.

 

[NineOfClubs]

Sure, why not?

Aren't we all in favor of tolerance?

What do all those millions of "COEXIST" bumper stickers mean, otherwise?

Seriously, what a boring world it would be if we all acted, thought and believed alike.

God help us, we'll all be living in some sort of gay "Stepford" someday.....

 

[honooryuu]

i could. i would just know that if that issue were to ever come up in conversation, that would be an arguement that i would never win. i wouldnt not be friends with someone just because they dont share my beliefs and opinions. they would have to really piss me off and get on my bad side to do that.

 

[Jayden]

NO!.........

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

my Windows class instructor at school..... She is opposed to gay marriage, because she said it makes her feel discriminated against. She is against gay marriage, but is totally supportive of me.

Proving that stupid people use Windows.

Sorry.. but no... she's not supportive of you. She's nice to you. but she thinks she deserves rights that you don't.

And... you're ok with that.

Which hey... means I probably couldn't be friends with you. And not only because you need to take a course in Windows.

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

I'm just blown away by the people here who say they could be friends with someone who thinks they're not deserving of equal rights.

But some people are very happy laying face-down in the ditch.

 

[NineOfClubs]

Jason, some of us really don't give a rap about marriage.

A thing I think is outdated and should be abolished altogether.

Why some of you want this barbaric relic of oppression is beyond me.

I'll vote for it, if on the ballot--but for you, not me.

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

Jason, some of us really don't give a rap about marriage.

A thing I think is outdated and should be abolished altogether.

Why some of you want this barbaric relic of oppression is beyond me.

I'll vote for it, if on the ballot--but for you, not me.

Well let's see...

If our marriage was recognized, I'd be able to sponsor my husband into the country so he could become a citizen. When one of us dies the other one should be taxed the same on inheritance as straight people. If I'm in a coma, I want HIM to be the person who decides on my treatment. I want him to be my next of kin and to have power of attorney.

There are over 1000 rights, protections and perks that married couples get that he and I can't... even with lots of expensive lawyers drawing up paper work.

I guess if you really think that you're not worthy of equal rights, you'll be happy to be friends with someone who also doesn't think you're worthy of equal rights.

could you also be friends with someone who thinks your employer should be able to fire you for being gay? Could you be friends with a person who thinks you should be arrested for being gay? How about friends with a person who thinks you should be denied access to your children because you're gay?

I mean I guess you don't care about marriage but do you care about having a job?

 

[NineOfClubs]

Well let's see...

If our marriage was recognized, I'd be able to sponsor my husband into the country so he could become a citizen. When one of us dies the other one should be taxed the same on inheritance as straight people. If I'm in a coma, I want HIM to be the person who decides on my treatment. I want him to be my next of kin and to have power of attorney.

There are over 1000 rights, protections and perks that married couples get that he and I can't... even with lots of expensive lawyers drawing up paper work.

I guess if you really think that you're not worthy of equal rights, you'll be happy to be friends with someone who also doesn't think you're worthy of equal rights.

could you also be friends with someone who thinks your employer should be able to fire you for being gay? Could you be friends with a person who thinks you should be arrested for being gay? How about friends with a person who thinks you should be denied access to your children because you're gay?

I mean I guess you don't care about marriage but do you care about having a job?

Jesus Christ!

Of course I care about equal rights.

I think it's inexcusable that a person can be fired for being gay, and I've known a few who were. Our only recourse now is to get in a position where we can fire straights. It stinks.

Also housing. In most cities and states one can refuse to rent to, or can even evict, someone who is gay. Sucks. Needs to be changed.

But I'm not ready to man the barricades 'cuz I can't have a church wedding and do the whole Hollywood happily ever after bullshit that usually crumbles into shit anyway.

Also, be careful what you ask for.

With gay marriage comes gay divorce. Up until now, gay couples who broke up (speaking from experience here) had to find a sensible way to work out the split. They usually did. After gay marriage, both will then need attorneys and will have fees to pay, and will have to appear before a judge, etc.. One party might really screw over the other, legally.

Also you'll be responsible, personally, for your spouse's debts. Say your new husband leaves in a snit after a fight, taking a twink off to Hawaii for a week, on your credit card. Well, you have to pay. Welcome to marriage....

Again, for others, if this is what they want, why not? But not a crusade for me.

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

But I'm not ready to man the barricades 'cuz I can't have a church wedding and do the whole Hollywood happily ever after bullshit that usually crumbles into shit anyway.

No no no.. we're not fighting to have a church wedding. I got married at city hall.

We don't want to be married for some silly ceremony, we want the rights that come with it. My husband and I have been together for 17 years. Don't you think we deserve rights that Britney Spears got by stumbling into a chapel drunk in Vegas once?

Would you really be friends with a person who thought otherwise? How could you respect a person like that enough to even want to get to know them?

 

[NineOfClubs]

Would you really be friends with a person who thought otherwise? How could you respect a person like that enough to even want to get to know them?

I've been friends with all kinds of people, and I don't let ideology get in the way.

I don't do drugs, but have friends who do.

I have friends whose diet/lifestyle is killing them.

Friends who spend money recklessly, and do all sorts of things I disagree with.

So what?

What are friends for, but to overlook some things, and to be forgiving?

Also, eventually these friends might come around to see things my way, that's how progress is made, by changing minds. By ignoring or shutting out everyone who isn't like me, I'll never change them or get them to see things differently.