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Curious... Is my friend too?

Oh wow... I just found out he jacked off in my room when I was in the shower jacking off. Wow... so hot. Incredibly turned on now.


AND SOME OF HIS CUM GOT ON MY BED!
 
So I can't edit that last one... This will be like my fourth post in a row... sorry.

So I talked to him a bit about the jacking off with just a wall between us. And how it turned me on thinking about it. He was all about describing how he was jacking off on my bed, got cum on my bed, and had to run into the kitchen to get a paper towel to wipe off with. He says it's weird. I say sorry just the fact you jacked off in the same spot I do really gets me going... the place only I experience pleasure in you did too. And then the fact you left some of your juices there. I asked "how would you feel if I did it to you." "probably the opposite"..... So I asked why he did it in the first place. He said just because he got hard all of a sudden and decided what the heck and he did it. He knows how to play alright.

My guess is he REALLY isn't saying everything he feels because he is afraid of the labels (and taboos) that go along with these feelings... I was the same way until I decided the labels don't mean anything towards your sexuality (it's not strictly night and day... there is a lot of dusk and dawn between the two). He won't even describe his sexual boundaries other than he doesn't like anal and he likes to jack off.
 
I'm new here and just read this whole thread and think you are doing the right thing completely. You are being smart about it. For everyone who is getting annoyed with you not making a move thus far, to me, you've already made some bold moves, but rightfully so, you want it. And its not that easy, you're trying to keep a friendship here. BUT i do believe everyone has a little bi-sexuality in them and that if society didn't throw people into categories for doing one thing and if religion didn't restrain us, than "straight" guys/girls wouldn't be so uptight about messing around with the same sex. So, I think no one including you're friend would be completely turned off by anyone touching them unless they were comletely unattracted to the person. So i'd say if anything ever happend b/t you two, I think if he just relaxed he would enjoy it. And of course he isn't saying anything to you about his sexual feelings, a lot of people are ignorant and think once someone even touches someone of the same sex it makes them automatically gay, but thats just ignorance. Maybe explain to him that sexuality isn't so black and white. But then again he agreed with you about experimentation and said it was just "a little" wierd...but that wasn't a completely bad reaction. He didn't freak out like most straight guys do! You gotta get him in the mood first before he'll really open up, did you ever watch porn together? I can't remember if you wrote that you had or not but once he's turned on enough, the site of a warm naked body next to him i'm sure he can't help but be interested in. ;)

I appreciate your story it's so great being able to relate, I can't believe how many people are dealing with the same issues.
 
Ya we've watched porn together several times. In fact just yesterday we were talking about a hot playboy model I found in some random gallery. I send him porn all the time over our cell phones too.

Thanks for posting... I was afraid everyone was just ignoring me now.
 
what do you do while you watch since you don't jerk off? Why don't you stick your hands down your pants while you two are watching it and it'll be a little experiment to see how he responds.

np!
 
We mostly just talk about it. He's pretty quiet though. I usually talk about how it's so acted out and how it's not real sex but it's still hot to look at. I've even said that I think girls now how to pleasure other girls better than guys a lot of the times...same with guys. Knowing the same body and all the sensitive spots.

Eh... see that's what I'm afraid to do. I just can't get myself to do it. Though... I've really thought about doing it the next time he stays over.
 
All right, to be fair you are trying much harder now. However, he's very insecure about his sexuality. Which leads me to this advice:

Move on.

Like you said before, you will be "pulling teeth" with this guy every step of the way. And I mean every step. Even if he lets you jack him off or blow him, what happens afterwards? If he's this paranoid now, imagine how he'll react after he's cummed and realize, "I just let a guy do that to me." Chances are, he'll freak out. He'll probably leave, won't talk to you anymore, and then you'll feel miserable and rejected. Does this sound like a fulfilling sexual fantasy to you?

I know you like him and that he's your closest friend; nevertheless, realize the fact he's not very interested. You'd practically have to molest him to get him to respond.

Is it really worth it, xtc? I know it's hard to stop now. We've encouraged you to pursue him and become bolder in your tactics. I now realize that was a mistake for us to do. He's not worth the anxiety you are experiencing now nor the pain you will most likely face in the future. So stop, and move on.
 
You're toying with and manipulating someone who is supposed to be your friend. You've given little thought to the repercussions for him or for your friendship.

Just_Believe18 asked the important question, "what happens afterwards?"
 
Woah wait a minute. And he isn't toying with me telling me he's jacked off in my room and cummed on my bed some when I was in the shower?

I have thought "what happens afterwards" since the beginning. I wouldn't take it any farther then just messing around. I wouldn't even do that until I knew he understood that concept. It would be something as simple as friends with benefits I guess.
 
I've decided he is the one doing the most playing. He was telling me about how he tried taking some scandalous (nude) pictures with his guitar covering him up. So he sent me a picture of him posed with his guitar... and it's just his arms, shoulders, and face so you wouldn't even think he was nude (but he was sure to tell me). He sent it in the first place to just get my opinion I guess...?

So I gave him some poses I would think would be good and said if you wanted me to I would take them because you wouldn't be able to take them yourself. He naturally said no. But I asked if he cared if I kept it as his picture ID for when he calls he said he didn't care (he knows people look through my phone too... I have a Glyde so everyone likes to play with it and flip threw the pictures).

But I accidentally set the picture as my wallpaper and I told him that. He was like "Oh you liked it that much?" I was like no it really was an accident. "Oh. uh huh...," he says. "Yes... it was" I said back. He again says something similar "ah Ic... uh huh...".

The first or maybe the second time would be seen as kidding... but three times you can tell he was really trying. Interesting. Especially since I mention anything about that type of stuff he gets all quiet like.
 
Dude, I know everyone moves at their own speed, but seriously, I feel like at this point you are just torturing yourself. From an outsider perspective IMO this guy is begging you to take him. You've moved beyond hints now and the signs seem pretty obvious as they have for a while.

Aren't you exhausted yet from all the analyzing and digging for the deeper meaning? Ask for what ya want. If you don't get it; then it wasn't worth having.
 
I don't know though... he is so adamant about a lot of things. Like if I talk about something too much (the anal thing for instance) he gets pissed at me. Or when I asked him his boundaries he got super pissed. And just today I asked if he didn't like lube because he got off too easily. He rather rudely that he had already told me why he didn't like it. All I did was ask a simple question that hadn't been addressed. (((Important to say he is like this a lot though... moody at times. Not just when we talk about this stuff)))

Then he pulls something like telling me he jacked off in my room and cummed on my bed some and I was just on the other side of the wall jacking off at the exact same time. I say it's not much different than jacking off in the same room especially since we talk about it through texting while we are doing it. And he just says he isn't comfortable.

What the hell am I supposed to think? He is playful one second and then when I ask stuff he gets all moody and tells me to stop. If he says he's not comfortable through a text message would it really be much different in person if I say "I need to get off... either join or leave"?
 
Of course he's going to be moody. It means he's conflicted and it's pissing him off. He's got two different extremes battling for dominance inside and that's gonna leave anyone exhausted and not very pleasant. Some guys can't reconcile homosexual urges with heterosexual everything else without it just tearing them up. You never know, what may be just a little fun and experimentation to you could be a very big deal for him. Seriously, he wants you, but he feels bad/guilty about it. That is what his behavior is dictating. And to be honest, those guys are usually not worth the trouble that will come. And believe me, it WILL come.

Riddle me this: are you the one who always brings up sex? Cause I'm gathering from your post that you might be. The reactions to certain things you describe are of someone who is telling you his limits and comfort levels and reacting to someone who might be pushing those points a little too hard and too often.

Ease up on him on stuff that he's gotten pissy about in the past. Obviously, those are his limit points. His anger is him telling you to drop it.

If you're texting each other when you're jacking off and are texting about that, then you're only a few more steps to escalation. He's gotta feel comfortable with you and trust you. He can't feel like you're just wanting in his pants (whether that is the case or not.) It's a bonding thing at least for the first few times. He's scared. Plain and simple. Well, maybe not simple, but it's plain.

I've been in your shoes and it's not a fun place to be. I understand the inclination to want to experiment with someone you're close to. I couldn't bring myself to even get up the desire to have a one time thing with a stranger. But please understand sex complicates everything. And if the two of you are close and care about one another (albeit platonic), sex is going to give you a run for your money. In those instances it has a way of creeping in and changing what you know and feel.

Point: Ease upon him. You might be pressuring him without realizing it. He wants you, but is conflicted about it. Maybe you should let him initiate the sexual talk for a change. Let him guide the discussion for a bit. You just sit back and respond and be patient. If you're dead set on experimenting with him, that's what it's going to take: patience. He's going to cave. I'd bet money on it. However, what I've said before, the wild card is what things are going to be like afterward.
 
I agree with you. And I've worried from the beginning what would happen with our friendship... that's the big issue here.

But the thing about easing up... I do. And then he will say something sexual so I think oh he's fine talking about it all. But I guess he isn't.
 
Well I've decided I will act the way I would now. Not try pushing it on him like I did the last few weeks. If he pulls anything I'll see where it goes. Bottom line it's going to be his move and I will talk it over with him if it happens. If he thinks it may get weird or hurt the friendship I'm going to say sorry, can't do it.

I'll keep everyone updated on what is said or done between us.
 
That seems like the best course of action.

The sucky thing is is that when it comes down to it most of the time we can never have everything we want. All too often it is one thing or the other. In instances like this it's one night of lusty sexual encounter or a possible lifetime of a true blue friend who's always there for you. However, the gamble is you could get everything you want or walk away losing it all. The odds aren't with us a majority of the time. Good luck to you and I hope that you aren't exhausting yourself over analyzing! Life's too short! But do update buddy. I'm curious how it turns out.
 
Oh my god... I can't believe no one else has seen this....

Your fantasy of bagging your friend is just that....A FANTASY.

He's curious about the nature of things around him but as for interested in you he is most definitely not...

He gets upset when you push things on him... he gets upset when you send him nude photos of yourself.

He likes hearing your stories about what you may or may not be into ...but he has let you know pretty firmly he's not into doing anything with you...

If he wanted to do anything with you .. with all your hints and nudging... he would have by now...

You also shower him with attention... It's extremely clear you like this guy a little more than he likes you.. but a lot of people enjoy the attention they receive from people and don't try to discourage it too much.

I am not saying this guy may not want to experiment but odds are it isn't going to be with you.
 
Well the thing with what you're saying... I don't send nude pictures of myself. Sure I've sent him "the brain" before but that's all. And I've had straight friends send that to me the exact same way (as a joke).

As for him telling me he's not interested... It's not that clear. He seems to have some interest... I think he isn't ready to step out and experience new things. I know I was similar to that not too long ago. He's just scared of all the stupid labels that follow something like it (which I don't feel are legitimate but that's my opinion I suppose) and the confusion he would likely experience.

Me liking him more than he likes me... Not true. I've seen how his face lights up when he hasn't seen me in a while and we get to hang out. So I don't believe that one bit.

Sure it's a fantasy. But just because it's one doesn't mean there isn't some reality tagged onto it. After all... most fantasy is build from some aspects of reality.
 
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