Lube
Temeritous hirsuteness
- Joined
- Jun 10, 2006
- Posts
- 7,566
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"Nobody knows I'm gay": we hear this from closeted guys all the time.
But after they come out, we often hear "I was surprised that [x person] knew". we think we're so good at acting straight, but we give away a million clues.
I thought I'd put down some of my personal gaydar points that I sort of mentally tally as I get to know someone. Contrary to what some may think, I don't feel that one thing alone makes someone gay; rather it's more like a system of points. Evidently other people (knowingly or not) do the same thing, since often friends or relatives "always knew", they are essentially doing the same thing.
. I'd love to hear other people's point systems.
I am not posting this in order to out people. I'm posting this so closeted guys can realize that we're never as good at hiding it as we think: we give off clues all the time. It's probably a lot subtler than you think.
Obviously, these clues apply to mainstream, middle class America. I hope some of them make you smile.
Has more female friends than male friends: + 20
Drives a European car, Subaru, or Saturn: +20
Drives a convertible:+50
Drives a convertible European car, Subaru, or Saturn:+150
Names his car: +30
Talks about sports: -20
Talks way too much about sports to the exclusion of smalltalk: +20
Has a team t-shirt: -30
Has a team t-shirt with a player's name on it: 0
Has a complete set of team decorated bobble heads and a ceramic village in team colors: +50
Does not talk about private life at work: +50
Has a "girlfriend in Canada" (e.g., out of town): +30
Never talks about his wife, but constantly talks about how wonderful his kids are:+10
Has photos in his cubicle of him and his kids and wife: -30
Has same photo, but no wife (and is married): +100
Can dance and prance like the hot stud in the military video remake of lady GaGa's song "Telephone": +100
Adores Lady GaGa: +50
Plays video games or reads comic books to the exclusion of dating women: +10
Knows more about most movies than the local paper's movie reviewer: +25
Orders syrupy sweet drinks at the bar: +20
Orders foreign beer or hand-crafted local beers at the bar:+20
Gets into a heated discussion about the best local hand-crafted beer: +30
Is easily offended: +50
Tells his out gay friends "no one knows I'm gay at work":+20
Believes it:+60
When directly asked if he is gay, answers "I don't believe in labels": +1,000
But after they come out, we often hear "I was surprised that [x person] knew". we think we're so good at acting straight, but we give away a million clues.
I thought I'd put down some of my personal gaydar points that I sort of mentally tally as I get to know someone. Contrary to what some may think, I don't feel that one thing alone makes someone gay; rather it's more like a system of points. Evidently other people (knowingly or not) do the same thing, since often friends or relatives "always knew", they are essentially doing the same thing.
. I'd love to hear other people's point systems. I am not posting this in order to out people. I'm posting this so closeted guys can realize that we're never as good at hiding it as we think: we give off clues all the time. It's probably a lot subtler than you think.
Obviously, these clues apply to mainstream, middle class America. I hope some of them make you smile.
Has more female friends than male friends: + 20
Drives a European car, Subaru, or Saturn: +20
Drives a convertible:+50
Drives a convertible European car, Subaru, or Saturn:+150
Names his car: +30
Talks about sports: -20
Talks way too much about sports to the exclusion of smalltalk: +20
Has a team t-shirt: -30
Has a team t-shirt with a player's name on it: 0
Has a complete set of team decorated bobble heads and a ceramic village in team colors: +50
Does not talk about private life at work: +50
Has a "girlfriend in Canada" (e.g., out of town): +30
Never talks about his wife, but constantly talks about how wonderful his kids are:+10
Has photos in his cubicle of him and his kids and wife: -30
Has same photo, but no wife (and is married): +100
Can dance and prance like the hot stud in the military video remake of lady GaGa's song "Telephone": +100
Adores Lady GaGa: +50
Plays video games or reads comic books to the exclusion of dating women: +10
Knows more about most movies than the local paper's movie reviewer: +25
Orders syrupy sweet drinks at the bar: +20
Orders foreign beer or hand-crafted local beers at the bar:+20
Gets into a heated discussion about the best local hand-crafted beer: +30
Is easily offended: +50
Tells his out gay friends "no one knows I'm gay at work":+20
Believes it:+60
When directly asked if he is gay, answers "I don't believe in labels": +1,000
... (all jokes obviously)
