I Need your Filthiest, Raunchiest, Worst Joke...

[EwanSF]

Re: I Need your Filthiest, Raunchiest, Worst Joke.

A priest is taking a coastal drive one day. While he's cruising along the road, he sees a small boy crying at the edge of a cliff. Stopping the car, he gets out and approaches him.

"What's the matter, my child?" He asks

"My family and I were out for a drive," he said, between sobs, "my dad lost control of the car. I was thrown from it but the rest of my family shot over the cliff! They're all dead" he wailed.

Pulling out his cock, the priest said, "It's just not your fuckin' day, is it?"

 

[Sunshine]

Re: I Need your Filthiest, Raunchiest, Worst Joke.

Have you ever wondered if your mom has kissed you goodnight after giving your father a blowjob?





....you are now.

 

[blackbeltninja]

Re: I Need your Filthiest, Raunchiest, Worst Joke.

How did Jesus walk on water?

Well... shit floats.


-d-

 

[DaveyH]

Re: I Need your Filthiest, Raunchiest, Worst Joke.

A gay man who had three lovers dies. His will states that he is to be cremated and the ashes split evenly 1/3 to each lover. The three lovers pick up their urns and agree to brunch the next week.

They all meet for brunch and they ask the first lover what he did with his portion of the ashes. He said that Jim and I always went to the beach and layed a blanket down and had hot sex, so I took his ashes and spread them out at the beach so he could remember our hot sex just one more time.

They asked the second lover what he did with his portion of the ashes. He said that Jim and I always took a hike up to a bluff overlooking the city and layed a blanket down under the tree there and had hot sex, so I took his ashes and spread them out at the bluff so he could remember our hot sex just one more time.

They asked the third lover what he did with his portion of the ashes. He said I put Jim's ashes in my three alarm chili. The others asked, why'd you do that.......he said, so he could tear my ass up just one more time!

DaveyH

 

[Johnbarrowmansbitch]

Re: I Need your Filthiest, Raunchiest, Worst Joke.

Four nuns die and go to heaven. Saint Peter asks 1st nun, "Have you had contact with a penis?" she says, "I once touched one with my finger." St Peter says, "Dip it in the Holy Water."
Next nun says "I've fondled one" he replies, "Put your hand in the Holy Water."
Suddenly, there's a commotion. A nun has pushed to the front of the queue.
St Peter asks, "What's up?" she says "Well if im going to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Sister Anne sticks her arse in it!"

 

[JustMe891]

Re: I Need your Filthiest, Raunchiest, Worst Joke.

Heard about the 2 queer Scots men? Ben Doon and Phil McCrevice

Heard about the 2 queer cowboys? Yup? Yep!

 

[helzeena]

Re: I Need your Filthiest, Raunchiest, Worst Joke.

Four nuns die and go to heaven. Saint Peter asks 1st nun, "Have you had contact with a penis?" she says, "I once touched one with my finger." St Peter says, "Dip it in the Holy Water."
Next nun says "I've fondled one" he replies, "Put your hand in the Holy Water."
Suddenly, there's a commotion. A nun has pushed to the front of the queue.
St Peter asks, "What's up?" she says "Well if im going to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Sister Anne sticks her arse in it!"

LOL!

 

[JUB]

Re: I Need your Filthiest, Raunchiest, Worst Joke.

Whats blue and bright orange and at the bottom of a pool?

ANSWER: A baby with slashed floaties

 

[highwindcaleb]

Re: I Need your Filthiest, Raunchiest, Worst Joke.

holy damn, these are funny

 

[highwindcaleb]

Re: I Need your Filthiest, Raunchiest, Worst Joke.

Whats worse than 10 dead babies in a trashcan?


the one on the bottom is alive...
wanna know whats worse than that?


it eats its way out....
wanna know whats worse than that?


it comes back for seconds

 

[highwindcaleb]

Re: I Need your Filthiest, Raunchiest, Worst Joke.

whats worst than 4 dead babies on a wall?
.
.
.
.
.
one dead baby on four walls!

 

[frankfrank]

Re: I Need your Filthiest, Raunchiest, Worst Joke.

A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.

'Fred,' he replies.

'Fred what?' the officer asks.

'Just Fred,' the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and, write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.

The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. 'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?'

The biker replies, 'It's a long story, so stay with me.' I was born Fred Dingaling. I know -- a funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time, so I stayed to myself, studied hard and got good grades.

When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, So I was Fred Dingaling, MD.

After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.

Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD.

Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, with VD.

Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD.

Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am Just Fred.' [cid:3E17012E1BAD4D528EBB7B407B7DFC72@D6FHHM81]

The officer walked away in tears, laughing.

 

[Ram]

I wonder what Mr and Mrs Boyle were thinking, naming their son Susan.

So Susan Boyle is admitting she is a virgin. Well, I guess Scotland's drinking problems aren't as bad as we thought.

Okay, the next one is a little lame:

Did you hear about the transexual donkey?

It didn't know if it was a hee or a haw

 

[undisclosed1234]

Those are all g-rated at best. My lord....