If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

[Rolyo85]

Well, if you don't like it, don't use the term. Problem solved. For some, it happens to mean a lot; to where no other adjective can even compare. Masculine is not a synonym, although it does have similarities.

Wow. Such a unique term, so full of nuance that no other adjective can even compare.

Laughable.

I want you to stand in front of a black guy and tell him that if he doesn't like being called a nigger, he can just not use the word.

 

[youfiad]

Wow. Such a unique term, so full of nuance that no other adjective can even compare.

Laughable.

I want you to stand in front of a black guy and tell him that if he doesn't like being called a nigger, he can just not use the word.

Horrible example. One is just a pejorative synonym for the other. straight-acting doesn't have an equivalent.

 

[youfiad]

If people don't see things the way you do...it is sadly pathetic? May I ask...are you one of the straight acting people that I should implicitly understand?

Yes. it is pathetic. Because what they're trying to do is impart their perception of the use of the word into a way of shaming those who use it, who evidently use it in similar ways.

Your question is highly irrelevant, so I will not even address it.

 

[sixthson]

Rolyo banned..oh boy.

Maybe the mods found out he was a gay acting straight man?

 

[Rolyo85]

It seems to have been a near-death experience only. I can't see any of my posts though -_-

 

[Rolyo85]

Horrible example. One is just a pejorative synonym for the other. straight-acting doesn't have an equivalent.

Seriously? Can you explain what this unique term means then? Or is it so unique as to be impossible to even define?

 

[youfiad]

Seriously? Can you explain what this unique term means then? Or is it so unique as to be impossible to even define?

Of course I can explain. However, I'm not going to do so in such an openly hostile forum. People get far too emotionally invested into such trivial matters.

 

[Rolyo85]

Of course I can explain. However, I'm not going to do so in such an openly hostile forum. People get far too emotionally invested into such trivial matters.

You know it's really embarrassing for you when you go in a topic guns blazing and then accuse everyone of being hostile when they challenge your posts, right? It's a total facepalm moment.

 

[Anders123]

Setting aside what is or isn't offensive for a moment, I question the logic of a person perpetuating the very stereotype they claim to despise.

If you don't like the stereotype that gay men are effeminate, why would you use straight-acting as a synonym for masculine? It just seems nonsensical. Despite the extra syllable supposedly involved, wouldn't you rather break down that stereotype by identifying as a masculine gay man instead of validating it by saying you're gay but behave like a straight guy?

If you tell a straight person that you're straight-acting, it really doesn't do much to challenge the 'gay = effeminate' stereotype, it just implies that you're part of the exception (thereby proving the existence of a rule). "I'm gay but act like a straight guy" suggests that there is a difference in the way straight and gay men conduct themselves. Given that in this context 'straight-acting' is used synonymously with 'masculine', the implication there is that gay men are feminine; the very stereotype you claim to dislike.

 

[eastofeden]

Yes. it is pathetic. Because what they're trying to do is impart their perception of the use of the word into a way of shaming those who use it, who evidently use it in similar ways.

Your question is highly irrelevant, so I will not even address it.

DAMN. I bet you don't see the irony of you using the shame analogy to describe other people's perceptions.

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

Setting aside what is or isn't offensive for a moment, I question the logic of a person perpetuating the very stereotype they claim to despise.

If you don't like the stereotype that gay men are effeminate, why would you use straight-acting as a synonym for masculine? It just seems nonsensical. Despite the extra syllable supposedly involved, wouldn't you rather break down that stereotype by identifying as a masculine gay man instead of validating it by saying you're gay but behave like a straight guy?

If you tell a straight person that you're straight-acting, it really doesn't do much to challenge the 'gay = effeminate' stereotype, it just implies that you're part of the exception (thereby proving the existence of a rule). "I'm gay but act like a straight guy" suggests that there is a difference in the way straight and gay men conduct themselves. Given that in this context 'straight-acting' is used synonymously with 'masculine', the implication there is that gay men are feminine; the very stereotype you claim to dislike.

Great post.

 

[Rolyo85]

Setting aside what is or isn't offensive for a moment, I question the logic of a person perpetuating the very stereotype they claim to despise.

If you don't like the stereotype that gay men are effeminate, why would you use straight-acting as a synonym for masculine? It just seems nonsensical. Despite the extra syllable supposedly involved, wouldn't you rather break down that stereotype by identifying as a masculine gay man instead of validating it by saying you're gay but behave like a straight guy?

If you tell a straight person that you're straight-acting, it really doesn't do much to challenge the 'gay = effeminate' stereotype, it just implies that you're part of the exception (thereby proving the existence of a rule). "I'm gay but act like a straight guy" suggests that there is a difference in the way straight and gay men conduct themselves. Given that in this context 'straight-acting' is used synonymously with 'masculine', the implication there is that gay men are feminine; the very stereotype you claim to dislike.

That's a good point actually.

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

I would say around 50 people who replied to this thread and only about a handful recurring, I wouldn't use that as a representation of the gay community, especially comparing people on a message board to Stonewall.

 

[youfiad]

You know it's really embarrassing for you when you go in a topic guns blazing and then accuse everyone of being hostile when they challenge your posts, right? It's a total facepalm moment.

Guns blazing?? You obviously don't know me ^^

I wasn't accusing anyone of being hostile for challenging my post. I accuse the forum of being hostile to anything that isn't the status quo. I've seen it a million times before.

 

[youfiad]

Setting aside what is or isn't offensive for a moment, I question the logic of a person perpetuating the very stereotype they claim to despise.

If you don't like the stereotype that gay men are effeminate, why would you use straight-acting as a synonym for masculine? It just seems nonsensical. Despite the extra syllable supposedly involved, wouldn't you rather break down that stereotype by identifying as a masculine gay man instead of validating it by saying you're gay but behave like a straight guy?

If you tell a straight person that you're straight-acting, it really doesn't do much to challenge the 'gay = effeminate' stereotype, it just implies that you're part of the exception (thereby proving the existence of a rule). "I'm gay but act like a straight guy" suggests that there is a difference in the way straight and gay men conduct themselves. Given that in this context 'straight-acting' is used synonymously with 'masculine', the implication there is that gay men are feminine; the very stereotype you claim to dislike.

Masculine and straight-acting are two different things. Women can act masculine, but we wouldn't call it straight acting. A lot of straight people don't even really relate to what society deems as masculine.

 

[bankside]

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I repeatedly assert that there is no such thing as the gay community. It existed briefly between the time Stonewall occurred and during the AIDS emergence.

Gay men were united in a defensive mode, similar to the behaviors of nations during wartime.

The problem was, it just looked like the "gay community," because only the out and proud folk were representin'. As brave as some were, and as overbearing as others were regardless of bravery, the vast majority were out of the picture, closeted. The early movement to out famous gay men underscored the tensions in the two "camps" (pardon the pun.) Out and proud felt the closeted were lazy/self-loathing/getting a free ride (keep pardoning the puns.) The closeted felt the out crowd was too loud/vain/counterculture.

And in this thread, we have a repeat of these trends. Some can only see those who distance themselves from gay stereotypes as cowards, homphobes, or in denial. And on the other side of the aisle, there are those who see the demand to embrace stereotypes as an advocate of an affected trope as a sliver of the reality, not representing them.

The acrimony in this thread is the proof. Various men fighting to dominate the meaning of gay, straight, acting, etc. As I've said before: it's not a club -- and you don't get to vote in or out gays who don't measure up (still counting puns?) to your criterion for "real gays." There is no us. And there will be less of "us" with every passing day.

Gay are as diverse as straights, and straights are sure as hell not united under the banner of "straights." Gays should not expect to be either.

It is a random sample. In that way it is one of the most interesting subsets of humanity for its variety. I would have discovered that range of opinion much more laboriously had I chosen an insular community of like-minded people as a place to hang my hat. We are all unalike. And yet common experiences often give us something to talk about.

 

[Rolyo85]

Guns blazing?? You obviously don't know me ^^

I wasn't accusing anyone of being hostile for challenging my post. I accuse the forum of being hostile to anything that isn't the status quo. I've seen it a million times before.

In fact, I do. I was there when you were posting in the Coming Out forum and I have read most of your opinions on here. You came in this thread, posted something simple and unsupported by arguments on the SIXTH page of a passionate discussion that you just completely ignored, and then, when people responded to you, got all "I am not going to respond". Why did you even post here to begin with, if you weren't interested in talking?

 

[youfiad]

In fact, I do. I was there when you were posting in the Coming Out forum and I have read most of your opinions on here. You came in this thread, posted something simple and unsupported by arguments on the SIXTH page of a passionate discussion that you just completely ignored, and then, when people responded to you, got all "I am not going to respond". Why did you even post here to begin with, if you weren't interested in talking?

I reiterate, you obviously don't know me. That's a completely arbitrary, insignificant fact.

Of course I ignored 6 pages. I have a life. I read what I needed to read and I applied accordingly. I never said I wasn't going to respond. You're making stuff up.

 

[Rolyo85]

I reiterate, you obviously don't know me. That's a completely arbitrary, insignificant fact.

Of course I ignored 6 pages. I have a life. I read what I needed to read and I applied accordingly. I never said I wasn't going to respond. You're making stuff up.

Ah, a drive by shooter. Got ya. Moving on then, not worth attention.

 

[MoufOfKhaos]

Can only have one right answer? I honestly have no idea what you're even trying to say.

I think I was shockingly clear, in that I was decimating your rather high percentage of a term that "can have" more than one meaning.

But now that you're saying that people that don't see the term in the way that you have deemed "correct" as sadly pathetic, I'll just note that i'm no longer crossing intellectual swords.

And I say that, not in being "hostile" as is being accused for daring to counter a thought, but in stating that some things can be different to different people, AND have merit behind it.