If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

[TX-Beau]

Society teaches that nerdiness is bad.

I watch tons of sci fi.

Assigning to me participating in persecution or harm to others based on how I self-describe is out of line.

I'm sorry but there is just no equivalency between the history of "nerdiness" and the history of gay.

 

[xbuzzerx]

Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

Then it is equally wrong or harm to call yourself masculine because of all the negative connotations "feminine" carries.

So what term would you prefer that is innocuous?

That was the point I was trying to make in 2-3 posts earlier on. I don't think the offense is caused by the term itself, it's caused by the mere distinction of effeminate and masculine, and people's immediate interpretation of the distinction as putting themselves up as masculine and putting others down as effeminate.

Even when people such as Mitchymo have posted long explanations about how this is neither their intent nor their meaning with making the distinction, even if it may be the meaning of a closeted cretin on Craigslist.

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I'm sorry but there is just no equivalency between the history of "nerdiness" and the history of gay.

Nor is there any equivalence between how I conceive of myself and harm others have endured at the hands of others.

 

[TX-Beau]

Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

Yes... except that the topic was started by someone who loathes the term and doesn't identify as such, and all the objections are coming from like-minded people.

So... no.

-d-

It seems to me that he just came across the term and it offended him, so no....

 

[LuckysRevenge]

I already answered that.

If you mind sparing me the job of sifting through all the essays in this thread, id greatly appreciate it.

 

[TX-Beau]

Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

Nor is there any equivalence between how I conceive of myself and harm others have endured at the hands of others.

You keep saying this - so could you please point out the post you are referencing.

 

[TX-Beau]

If you mind sparing me the job of sifting through all the essays in this thread, id greatly appreciate it.

Post number 98

 

[xbuzzerx]

Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

You keep saying this - so could you please point out the post you are referencing.

It is entirely clear that the term and the concept behind it is, by many posters here, considered very offensive. I don't think quoting that sentiment made in a dozen or more posts throughout the thread should be necessary.

So I ask, again, is the distinction itself whatsoever between masculine and feminine offensive? Would you be NOT offended by someone self-describing as "masculine" or "not stereotypical?" Because it is very much my belief that someone saying those same terms would have spawned exactly this same discussion, in slightly different proportions.

 

[G-Lexington]

Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

That was the point I was trying to make in 2-3 posts earlier on. I don't think the offense is caused by the term itself, it's caused by the mere distinction of effeminate and masculine, and people's immediate interpretation of the distinction as putting themselves up as masculine and putting others down as effeminate.

Even when people such as Mitchymo have posted long explanations about how this is neither their intent nor their meaning with making the distinction, even if it may be the meaning of a closeted cretin on Craigslist.

I think the idea is that if you feel the need to MAKE the distinction in the first place - no matter what term you might use - then you are (intentionally or not) drawing a line between yourself and the homosexual community at large. That by feeling the need to mention it, you're saying "Yeah, I'm gay, but I'm not like them." Like a more subtle version of the entire g0y movement.

Lex

 

[eastofeden]

Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

It is entirely clear that the term and the concept behind it is, by many posters here, considered very offensive. I don't think quoting that sentiment made in a dozen or more posts throughout the thread should be necessary.

So I ask, again, is the distinction itself whatsoever between masculine and feminine offensive? Would you be NOT offended by someone self-describing as "masculine" or "not stereotypical?" Because it is very much my belief that someone saying those same terms would have spawned exactly this same discussion, in slightly different proportions.

I think the better question is asking the person stereotyping why they are stereotyping anyone? ...and who defines masculine and feminine? ...do we all agree on a definition? ...why is "masculine" considered by so many people as "straight acting"?...why not masculine as "gay acting"?

 

[TX-Beau]

Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

It is entirely clear that the term and the concept behind it is, by many posters here, considered very offensive. I don't think quoting that sentiment made in a dozen or more posts throughout the thread should be necessary.

So I ask, again, is the distinction itself whatsoever between masculine and feminine offensive? Would you be NOT offended by someone self-describing as "masculine" or "not stereotypical?" Because it is very much my belief that someone saying those same terms would have spawned exactly this same discussion, in slightly different proportions.

Oh no you don't, this:

Nor is there any equivalence between how I conceive of myself and harm others have endured at the hands of others.

Was what I wanted the clarification about. Who is claiming that SA is about how SOMEONE else has been "harmed."

I have repeatedly said SA is only about the guy using it. If I have been unclear on the "offense" front let me clarify. Yes I find it offensive, but mostly I just don't give a fuck and am not going to date a guy saying that.

While we're at it, Straight, and Masculine ARE NOT synonyms.

 

[blackbeltninja]

Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

I think the idea is that if you feel the need to MAKE the distinction in the first place - no matter what term you might use - then you are (intentionally or not) drawing a line between yourself and the homosexual community at large. That by feeling the need to mention it, you're saying "Yeah, I'm gay, but I'm not like them." Like a more subtle version of the entire g0y movement.

Lex

Well... what term would you prefer? As I said many pages ago we all know what the term means, so as far as hook-up descriptors go it is in fact pretty perfect.

What next, is there going to be a groundswell of support against self identifying size-queens and guys describing themselves as "hung" so as not to offend us average guys?

-d-

 

[TX-Beau]

Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

I think the better question is asking the person stereotyping why they are stereotyping anyone? ...and who defines masculine and feminine? ...do we all agree on a definition? ...why is "masculine" considered by so many people as "straight acting"?...why not masculine as "gay acting"?

Beat me to it and you were nicer about it - asshole. (grin)

 

[LuckysRevenge]

I think the idea is that if you feel the need to MAKE the distinction in the first place - no matter what term you might use - then you are (intentionally or not) drawing a line between yourself and the homosexual community at large. That by feeling the need to mention it, you're saying "Yeah, I'm gay, but I'm not like them." Like a more subtle version of the entire g0y movement.

Lex

Well on a dating site I think that's an important distinction to make.

No offense but I'm not into dating fem guys. It's just not a set of traits I'm attracted to. Now while seeing straight-acting and masculine listed are turn-offs are for me, I feel somewhat relieved when someone lists "fem" because I know that person isn't for me.

On these online sites and apps I think quick references are important.

 

[TX-Beau]

Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

The only reason for that is because guys like you seem intent on smearing the terminology. I'll repeat blackbeltninja's excellent comment:

and I'll refer you back to my response.

 

[xbuzzerx]

Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

I think the better question is asking the person stereotyping why they are stereotyping anyone? ...and who defines masculine and feminine? ...do we all agree on a definition? ...why is "masculine" considered by so many people as "straight acting"?...why not masculine as "gay acting"?

Let me answer your question with a question.

Why is stereotyping yourself in one set of proscribed, community-approved ways okay, positive and self-affirming, and others are not? Do we agree on those categories?

 

[blackbeltninja]

Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

While we're at it, Straight, and Masculine ARE NOT synonyms.

No - not "straight." "Straight-acting." BIG difference.

We SA guys are not confusing the two.

-d-

 

[xbuzzerx]

Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

I think the idea is that if you feel the need to MAKE the distinction in the first place - no matter what term you might use - then you are (intentionally or not) drawing a line between yourself and the homosexual community at large. That by feeling the need to mention it, you're saying "Yeah, I'm gay, but I'm not like them." Like a more subtle version of the entire g0y movement.

Lex

Lex, the homosexual community at this very moment is not doing a very good job of making me feel welcome or included.

 

[TX-Beau]

Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

Pretty irrelevant, generally they are.

Which tells us why you apply the term.

 

[xbuzzerx]

Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

While we're at it, Straight, and Masculine ARE NOT synonyms.

We have no disagreement there.

So perhaps you could answer the question I posed to you at least once already, what descriptor would you find non offensive? I'm not sure there is one, from the tone of this discussion. I'm just trying to get people to be honest or up front about that instead of pretending this is about 1 term.

 

[TX-Beau]

Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

Lex, the homosexual community at this very moment is not doing a very good job of making me feel welcome or included.

This argument will be going on when you are old and gray. It's been raging for decades. There is no answer to be had because it's about intangibles and perceptions.

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Yes mate, its called being apt.

LOL, meaning what?

I see we're fully into tit for tat.

Tag.