Maintaining Your Friendship with a "Snow Queen"

[BabiGayPimp]

I don't know where to begin, or even if i want to.

Stating that, your former friend belittling his own people should have been the focal point to this thread - his dating patterns are IRRELEVANT. If the comparison if supposed to be that black men that don't date their own become like that guy, you're quite off base.

I'm going back to my corner now, feel free to address this or have that yapping dog call me some silly little acronym.

Splatter, without getting into the sordid details, believe me there is a connection between by former friend's sexual and social fixation on white men, the pecuilar form of white idolatry he practices and HAS VOICED to me, and the low regard and lack of use he has for other black men on any level besides charity. It is all connected. I was there from the start and saw this man evolve to become what he is today.

I cannot separate what is logically connected and what I've seen with my own eyes and heard with my own ears.

 

[David DeVour]

He worships white men like gods and has a low opinion of other black men, regardless of their accomplishments and relative attributes.

So, he even goes beyond classism- like a white person constantly talking about "trailer trash". Sounds like almost NO black person stands a chance with him, except maybe you. I don't blame you for being sick of it.

 

[AngelFromAbove]

Sounds like Uncle Ruckus from The Boondocks.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_m5TMny3dQI&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pnXj1ppsx0

Aw snap! You had to bring out The Boondocks; I cannot wait for the new season next year. Back to the thread at hand...

 

[VenomGGXX]

I will continue to voice my opinion on this issue no matter how many people yell at me. And Matter of Splatter, fuck you. I could care less if I'm tripping over my own tongue. I have dated black GUYS and girls before. But I like white guys too. So don't label me like the rest of those taunting negroes. I have more empathy for my community than some of you ever will.

Oh, and i'm just enjoying Venom tripping all over his tongue. It's an amazing feat when your head is that far up your ass that you can't see, yet he's still managing to do it. I'd ask how, but i don't consider that talent, just a vicious lack of comprehension.

Did you read my posts? I kow what the topic is about, his friend became too disinterested in Babi and so
Babi felt like the guy was no longer ''black''. And would talk bad about black people. That is wrong. I agreed. I said the same damn thing a fucking two pages back. I just cannot get people to understand
where I'm coming from on this. Moe is a fake as motherfucker, and Neo is just a clown. Obviously people
are different, and I'm tired of this bullshit. And fyi anyone else who makes some stupid comment to me will get bitched out

 

[VenomGGXX]

Hey Whatever is clever, or whatever the fuck you said. You are not garnerning support by making fun of blacks who think differently than you. Maybe babi's friendship dissolved because Babi was the close minded one. Maybe his friend liked babi, but Babi was too wrapped up in himself. If his friend was hating other blacks, so be it. My family is very diverse. I have to deal with this shit ALL the time.
My aunt is married to a white guy, my white cousin is with a black dude, I have to deal with this ALL the time. You do not know me SO FUCK OFF

 

[G-Lexington]

...I posted last!

Lex

 

[VenomGGXX]

I just have an issue with people doing thier ''ghetto'' routine whenever someone says they like white guys. Who cares?? If a black person does not like being around foolishly acting black people, that is their choice. if Babi's friend was mean to other blacks, that is wrong. I whole heartidly agree. But do not tell me I am not ''black'' enough because I don't care for certain black people and attitudes.

 

[irydion]

His actual preference was not a big deal to me, initially, because we were friends.

His being friends with or dating white people was not the issue.

One can, although doesn't have to, see a contradiction in these quotes. The earlier quote shows that his preference was a deal to you, and its importance to you increased with time

By white idolatry, I'm referring his tendency to be overly impressed with anyone who was white, juxtaposed against a general pattern of suspicion and distates he showed for other blacks.

we do tend to be overly impressed with people we find attractive, don't we? And if the other blacks treat him the same as you do because he prefers white males, well, why are you suprised he looks at them with suspicion?
An important question is if his attitude towards you personally changed.

He has done many good works for the black community as a whole, but he distances himself from other blacks on a one-to-one level, except for those who share his views and lifestyle.

Well, you distance yourself from blacks who share your friend's views and lifestyle And it sounds as it is you who has a problem with bearing his opinions, not him that has a problem with yours. Which means you're more radical in your convictions, and if someone is responsible for the end of your friendship, it's you, sorry.
So, coming back to the original question of this thread: I believe one should accept

 

[bankside]

You haven't been reading closely. This is a man that I experienced a very close friendship with for several years. I understand his mindset. I know the man. He genuinely feels that white people are a better grade of human product than black people. He never said that explicity, but through many years of conversations and close observations, that is my finding.

When someone you deal with socially is continually praising the "greatness" of this white man and that white man while being dismissive and outright rude towards other black men, and you see this pattern escalate over the years, he's telling you something that you can't but hear.

If that's the case, my advice would be ditch the racist fucker. Why try to see eye to eye with someone like that? He's espousing the classic definition of white supremacy, which is nonsense. I have dated across the rainbow, and I wouldn't have him for a boyfriend - I want an equal not a worshipper. It is ridiculous that he could think he could both look down on you and count on your friendship. This should be simple.

But Babi, is that the bottom line? I don't know if it is that cut & dried for you, which makes me wonder if there is more on your mind about this situation. Are you still trying to connect with a better man you once knew? Are you trying to find something redeeming about the man he now is? Or are you trying to satisfy yourself that it is time to move on?

When you raise issues about "his people" you kinda lose me there. Maybe it is just the wording but to me it divides the world up into "his people (black)" and "not his people(white or other)." I don't see the world that way because I don't have "people." I don't owe any loyalty to white people. I don't own anything that other white people have accomplished just because both my parents were white.

Right now I figure people with his kind of attitude are our responsibility to deal with. But if I believed the whole "his people" take on the world, I guess it would only be your responsibility, and I would get a free pass to do nothing when I see that kind of attitude. That is what I found distracting in your posts because I don't want that kind of world.

 

[MisterMajestic]

I'm not bold enough to say any of this because I'm white and don't want to be called a racist, but I can't disagree with some of this....

..LOL..Of course you agree..The ONLY thing you're agreeing with is his NEGATIVE opinions about Black folks...None of it is factual..If he made negative statements about Whites you CERTAINLY would have been Bold enough to Disagree...


Case closed...

 

[VenomGGXX]

So do me the favor of leaving my name out of your BitchFest when making your posts. I get more than my fair share of Honorable Mentions from my fans, I sholl as hell don't need your putrid ass making mention of my name.

hahaha...putrid...that's funny coming from someone who spouts bullshit every other post. I just don't like people who act and think a certain way, and unfortunately Neo you are one of those ignorant, self hating people.

I am seriously done with this thread...if Neo and Moe can't see the problem with how they think it's on them. Ofcourse Babi's friend was wrong for saying those things about his race, but his dating life should not have been brought up at all.

 

[VenomGGXX]

However, let's all agree that we should separate a man's sexual preference and attraction from his views in life. If you want to stop being a friend with someone, do it because of their views and beliefs and how they treat others.. not b/c of who they prefer to sleep with.

Thankyou Lucky. This was the point I was trying to make. Yeah I have issues but so does everyone else. This thread turned to hell because it wasn't clear what the topic was truly about.

 

[DiamondSkin]

However, I have little respect for black guys who exclusively date or take interest in white guys. It's something you really can't expect white people to understand I believe b/c they've never been through what minorities(colored people) have been through.

Well, than please do explain. Because it's rather baffling to us.

It doesn't make any sense to me.

If a black guy has a strong preference for white men, that's him and his preference. I see no racism in it, rather than what some black people are trying to look for.

Would you have no respect for a white man who has a strong interest in black men only? What would you call him?

It's like dissing a bisexual who has a strong interest in women rather than men.

 

[hotatlboi]

..LOL..Of course you agree..The ONLY thing you're agreeing with is his NEGATIVE opinions about Black folks...None of it is factual..If he made negative statements about Whites you CERTAINLY would have been Bold enough to Disagree...


Case closed...

Complete and utter bullsh!t. This is why as I said I rarely if ever make ANY negative opinion about black people known, because someone like yourself will immediately jump up and call me a racist. I've learned to expect that kind of nonsensical behavior so I avoid it.

I agreed with his statements because I consider them factually correct based on what I have observed myself, not because I hate black people. I have nothing against any race.

I would also not "certainly" disagree if he were to express a negative opinion of white people's actions, IF those statements were factually correct.

White people certainly have their flaws in the race perceptions as well. Like, I don't get the white guys who say they will never go out or meet a black guy (which is too many of them). I've been with some black guys that I thought were really hot, so I don't really understand that kind of perception some white people have toward blacks.

Acknowledging flaws in someone of a different race does not make you a racist. And denying any flaws of anyone in your own race (white or black or whatever) does not mean you have disowned your background.

I wish the race wars could stop and everyone could get a big dose of realism and stop the cheerleading on this subject.

 

[bankside]

I don't feel like getting into it. It has to do with the history of blacks in America, it has to do with our history in relation to whites and how both races have been portrayed and presented. It's something very ingrained and cultural.

Blacks throughout American history have been told that they arent as good, that they are not as smart, not as goodlooking, not as worthy, etc... there have been books upon books upon books on these subjects and if you want to read any of them, go ahead. But it's not the same as whites with a strong interest in blacks.

When a black man is solely interested in white man, yea that stinks of something rotten. With the history of blacks in this nation and racial relations.. with the history of the huge discrepancy of how different races are portrayed in various forms of media, sorry if I can't help but feel disgusted to see a black man looking down upon his own race or denying them and instead fawning over whites and feeding right into the message that has been beaten into our heads for centuries.. The same might be said of an asian or latino person solely interested in whites... but the parallel can not be made for the opposite(whites obsessing over a different race).

The easiest response to "I don't feel like getting into it" is "I don't feel like buying it."

It would be a mistake, and a setback for equality, to assume that white people do not have unique personal experiences related to race and racism, nor the empathy to understand the experiences of others, nor common experiences shared with non-white people, nor the wherewithal or inclination to think deeply about the subject.

Part of this also has to do with an international audience. American history is, well, American.

 

[VenomGGXX]

I've tried to talk about it, but I always get attacked. It just makes me angry

 

[DiamondSkin]

I don't feel like getting into it. It has to do with the history of blacks in America, it has to do with our history in relation to whites and how both races have been portrayed and presented. It's something very ingrained and cultural.

Blacks throughout American history have been told that they arent as good, that they are not as smart, not as goodlooking, not as worthy, etc... there have been books upon books upon books on these subjects and if you want to read any of them, go ahead. But it's not the same as whites with a strong interest in blacks.

When a black man is solely interested in white man, yea that stinks of something rotten. With the history of blacks in this nation and racial relations.. with the history of the huge discrepancy of how different races are portrayed in various forms of media, sorry if I can't help but feel disgusted to see a black man looking down upon his own race or denying them and instead fawning over whites and feeding right into the message that has been beaten into our heads for centuries.. The same might be said of an asian or latino person solely interested in whites... but the parallel can not be made for the opposite(whites obsessing over a different race).

As someone who is half-black, I understand the history perfectly.

However I think we as the black community has to get over it and move on.

For god's sake, we have a black man in the position as the most powerful person in the world.

It's time we move past this identity that's holding us back because while it was integral to fighting for our freedoms in decades past, it's no longer viable today.

More and more people are seeing race as less of an issue. More and more people are seeing race as merely a different color of skin tone.

The problem is that black community still thinks it's the 1960s and refuses to move on with the rest of country. White people are rarely the ones who bring up race these days. It's always black people who think it's part of their duty to do so.

Have you ever wondered if maybe, just maybe some black men are just really attracted to fair skin tone, blue eyes and blonde hair? Maybe that's what they find sexy and attractive? And maybe a darker skin tone just doesn't do it for them? And it has nothing to do with self-racism?

Again, I think we as a black community need to re-examine ourselves and realize that things have changed tremendously but we have not.

You, yourself are still stuck in the "it's not the same; it's different for us than white people". It's reverse racism pure and simple.

This just seeks to divide racial lines and keep the black community in stagnation.

 

[DiamondSkin]

I hate to use this language, but it's like the oppressed fawning over the oppressor and that's what many blacks see it as when it is this obsession with whites.

So since you're in a relationship with a white boyfriend, you're being oppressed by him since he's the oppressor (white) and you're the oppressed (black)? Is that why you fell for him in the first place? You had a kink for oppression?

Again, it's a mentality I don't agree with and I think the black community needs to move on from.

Are we still gonna be talking about this 50 years from now while the black community refuses to let past be past and see past racial lines?

I still consider it racism because it derogratory towards whites for not being allowed to question such inanity and it's more so derogatory towards blacks.

You think a black person shouldn't exclusively date a white man because you think they're worshipping them.

This is racism in it self because you already defined white people as something to be worshipped. You already put them on a pedestal. You labeled yourself as something beneath and something oppressed instead of something equal.

This does nothing but perpetuate the stereotype of black people having double-standards that only apply to them.

 

[DiamondSkin]

The same might be said of an asian or latino person solely interested in whites... but the parallel can not be made for the opposite(whites obsessing over a different race).

This isn't equality. This isn't what we fought for for so long.

The parallel HAS to be the same.

If a white person has a strong preference for black men, it's not self-hatred for the white 'race' and not worship for the black man?

Because by the logic, you insinuate the white men are superior to black men because black men aren't capable of being worshipped. Only white people can be worshipped. Because they're above us. It's racism that the black community puts on itself.

It has to be the same or it's just plain ol' racism pure and simple.

 

[hotatlboi]

White people are rarely the ones who bring up race these days. It's always black people who think it's part of their duty to do so.

I will say that even though not as many white people bring up race today, many white people still have prejudices against minorities. It's just not socially acceptable to talk about them so they don't. If black people see a racial injustice, no one faults them for pointing it out, so that's why they are more vocal.

But I do agree with you that this "reverse racism" mantra that's being brought up for EVERYTHING really has to stop. There's no need to inject race into all these situations where it really isn't the issue. If there's an issue where someone is clearly acting with a racial prejudice, then by all means point it out. But bringing up race as the default response to everything gets really annoying.