NO BLACKS,NO ASIANS,NO INDIANS??? Grindr is the enemy of ethnic men?

[xbuzzerx]

So, what would you do about these people who are allegedly brainwashed by the beauty standards of their own society and culture?

That's where we move into criticizing tired old racial lineups and exclusions in the beauty standard, and where the discussion becomes "oh ffs it's just entertainment, it has no bearing on reality!"

 

[xbuzzerx]

Oh FFS it's a preference
Everyone's idea of what turns them on is different
So what if they don't like blacks or asians
I KNOW there are plenty of black and asian guys who won't go with black or asians but I bet you won't be calling THEM out

And that is the problem. These days if you express a preference the whole world screams prejudice

When you see the same "preference" EVERYWHERE, how, in your mind, is it just an "everyone's different" issue and not a widespread widely held prejudice?

When the exclusions go every which way evenly I'd be tempted to default to saying it's just individual preferences. They don't. They target the same 2 groups all over the dating world.

"Just preference" huh?

 

[xbuzzerx]

There's no need in reading the OP or the thread. Grindr is low class and little more than a meat market. Among such base values, it is of no matter if a guy wants beef instead of lamb.

There really isn't a straight equivalent to the gay meat market sites. The average straight male doesn't think, "I'd like to find a mate, so I guess I'll shop Craiglist,| or Grindr, or whatever. And there certainly wouldn't be a crestfallen young Asian girl who boohoos to her friends that some guy on Whore.com posted that Asians need not apply.

It's a tempest in a scumbucket, not relevant to how the vast majority of Americans view or approach interracial dating.

Of course young Asian girls wouldn't cry exclusion. They're one of the most popular demographics for dating.

White male: Asian female pairings outnumber Asian male: white female by 4 to 1.

"Just preference" right? Has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the depiction of Asian males as geeky, asexual and unattractive goofy sidekicks and math experts all over our culture, right?

4 to 1 statistically doesn't "just happen" by random chance in demographics.

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

Of course young Asian girls wouldn't cry exclusion. They're one of the most popular demographics for dating.

White male: Asian female pairings outnumber Asian male: white female by 4 to 1.

"Just preference" right? Has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the depiction of Asian males as geeky, asexual and unattractive goofy sidekicks and math experts all over our culture, right?

4 to 1 statistically doesn't "just happen" by random chance in demographics.

No, no, he's right, patterns happen on accident. Nobody is influenced by culture or history and there's no such thing as social conditioning.

 

[xbuzzerx]

No, no, he's right, patterns happen on accident. Nobody is influenced by culture or history and there's no such thing as social conditioning.

It's a western thing definitely, but the homsteader cowboy legacy seems to make it hit Americans particularly hard. They're incredibly uncomfortable acknowledging the substantial ways in which they are products of their culture and not completely independent entities who made and formed and thought everything about themselves by conscious personal choice.

But that just isn't the way human social psychology works, anywhere.

 

[Scealle]

It's a western thing definitely, but seems to make it hit Americans particularly hard.

I agree with this 100% I don't know abut the USA, but in Europe and asia, I see a lot of White female/ asian male relationships. Especially if that european country does not speak english as their official language.

My cousins are from europe/UK and a lot of them are from asian male/ white female relationships. A lot of my mom's family (all guys) married european girls. Russia/ Serbia etc.

I have NEVER used Grindr or online dating apps but when I went to gay social events in Europe, a lot of European guys - Romanians, Italians etc. would approach me and seem interested in me/chat with me.

I was super confused and thought they were really weird because I always assumed I was super ugly because not even asian gay guys are interested in me. All the asian guys just cling to which ever white guy they can find it seems Tried talking to an asian guy at the event once, well let's just say it didn't end well LOL!

SO..... I made a personal conclusion that the more anti-american the countries are, the more likely they are to go against the "norm" in the US - such as dating asian guys. Also the less developed they are, the more likely they are to date "outside" of their race it seems. Like Russia with Japan/ China or Croatia with Korea etc. Or Brazil! (Which is super multi-culti like Black with asians, asians with whites etc.)

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

It's a western thing definitely, but the homsteader cowboy legacy seems to make it hit Americans particularly hard. They're incredibly uncomfortable acknowledging the substantial ways in which they are products of their culture and not completely independent entities who made and formed and thought everything about themselves by conscious personal choice.

But that just isn't the way human social psychology works, anywhere.

Except when it comes to color. No one has ever been influenced by colorism, in fact it never existed. It's just some ghost enemy those evil coloreds made up to make the poor white man suffer.

 

[Telstra]

I agree with this 100% I don't know abut the USA, but in Europe and asia, I see a lot of White female/ asian male relationships. Especially if that european country does not speak english as their official language.

My cousins are from europe/UK and a lot of them are from asian male/ white female relationships. A lot of my mom's family (all guys) married european girls. Russia/ Serbia etc.

I have NEVER used Grindr or online dating apps but when I went to gay social events in Europe, a lot of European guys - Romanians, Italians etc. would approach me and seem interested in me/chat with me.

I was super confused and thought they were really weird because I always assumed I was super ugly because not even asian gay guys are interested in me. All the asian guys just cling to which ever white guy they can find it seems Tried talking to an asian guy at the event once, well let's just say it didn't end well LOL!

SO..... I made a personal conclusion that the more anti-american the countries are, the more likely they are to go against the "norm" in the US - such as dating asian guys. Also the less developed they are, the more likely they are to date "outside" of their race it seems. Like Russia with Japan/ China or Croatia with Korea etc. Or Brazil! (Which is super multi-culti like Black with asians, asians with whites etc.)

Now this is educational post.
More please

 

[Taralen]

Of course were gonna cling to white guys. There are more openly gay white guys.

If I had a choice between an white guy on a dating site that says no blacks, and a downlow married black guy, who the fuck am I gonna pick and lust over more?

Of course the white guy. But I can't because none of the white gays date blacks or asians. Smh.

I give up, you guys are fucking stupid. Where's my Trump hat.

 

[medic1]

^you really are one rude MF.

 

[Taralen]

^ Rude? Me? You're mistaken.

I didn't want to add that but you guys are too ignorant.

"Why do black and asian guys lust over white guys"

Because white men are the most openly gay guys. Majority of black guys are closeted and aren't available, majority of asian guys are closeted and aren't available.

The prime race you see on these sites are white, so mathematically, as a gay person of color, you are more than likely going to attempt to venture with a partner that is white.

But how can you when they don't date any race but white?

 

[Telstra]

^ Rude? Me? You're mistaken.

I didn't want to add that but you guys are too ignorant.

"Why do black and asian guys lust over white guys"

Because white men are the most openly gay guys. Majority of black guys are closeted and aren't available, majority of asian guys are closeted and aren't available.

The prime race you see on these sites are white, so mathematically, as a gay person of color, you are more than likely going to attempt to venture with a partner that is white.

But how can you when they don't date any race but white?

Not true ...

 

[Taralen]

Not true ...

True.

Blacks:
Majority of the African continent is anti Gay. African Americans are anti gay here in America and many are closeted. I think Black Canadians might not be as well due to many of them are Muslim.

Blacks in south america I have no data for, as South America is supposed to be pro gay, but not always.

If you live in Europe and you're black and gay, you might have better chances. Like in France, Germany, England or The Netherlands.

Asians:
China-You can't be gay
Korea-You can be gay, but not be out or public about it
Japan-You can be gay, but it's not really publicised.
South East Asia-No
West Asia-No
Middle East-Hell no

Asians here in North America and in Westernized world are not always on gay themed sites. How many asians do you see on xtube or pornhub? Not that many. I think that's mainly why Asians get the most hate, as it's in their culture not to be homosexual and to be on these sites.

Don't even get me started on your area Australia/New Zealand as far as gays of color are treated.

Fuck, just look at fucking gay porn. Majority of it is all white.

 

[Telstra]

Tara honey bunch LOL (first time i call someone this)
If you are such an expert on this topic, why don't you do a real research and publish some papers.
You'll make a very good living out of it.

 

[Taralen]

Tara honey bunch LOL (first time i call someone this)
If you are such an expert on this topic, why don't you do a real research and publish some papers.
You'll make a very good living out of it.

No I know better. I used to make youtube videos and got many subs and views, but I stopped because people called me racist and with this Black Lives Matter shit right now, I know better.

I am working on a story that's about a bunch of sociopath guys of all races and characters, some of them gay that heist banks though. That's my bestseller.

 

[Level27]

Tara honey bunch LOL (first time i call someone this)
If you are such an expert on this topic, why don't you do a real research and publish some papers.
You'll make a very good living out of it.

Frankly, Telstra, I find his hastefully-formed conclusion neither accurate nor productive. (If he's simply looking for reactions, which I have an inkling is the case, than I'll stop here and let him wallow in his deliberate puerility. Otherwise, if he's for real, here we go.)

I'm guessing he's not going to read and grasp my whole message.

One thing that he hasn't taken into account is the more-than-abundance of Asian and African individuals who are above the stage of self-acceptance and expressed pride. We have so many of them here in California, Washington and New York; to name just a few states in the States. I don't doubt that some Asian countries do still currently fall a little behind the Western World in LGBT rights, but that itself doesn't represent the many confident individuals who are out and about in trying to hit up anyone they choose. Furthermore, what about those white folks who suffer a rigid Euro-Christian background and still believe in ex-gay ministries? (After all, the birth of anti-gay sentiments and attitudes are a predominantly Caucasian thing; if you research your world history!! And, most people who were in the ex-gay movement in the USA, and then in Europe, were white bible-belt folks.) As far as I'm concerned, these individuals can still scurry around the backwaters of the black closet and hook-up with other married white men with little to no problem.

What's my obvious point? It's obvious that outness and self-acceptance aren't the issue at hand. So, what is?

I don't claim to be an expert anymore than Taralen here claims. What I do believe is the root of the problem is exposure. It's that simple. I know people have heard it tiresome amount of times before. We see beautified Caucasian people everywhere in the media. They are the majority of the Western World. We see them in our daily routines. They define beauty in the West. They even influence Asian countries as to what beauty is, because modern Asia see's a lot of our Western Caucasian advertisement in their own homeland. Our brains, over time, has learned to become primarily attracted to specific Caucasian features; because it's what we've mostly experienced.

On the other hand, how often do we see Asians and Black people in comparison to their Caucasian counterparts? Representation has gotten better, granted, but still. How often? We don't see "slit-eyes" as beautiful because it's hardly there in our daily basis; not in the media nor in our regular daily routine. When we do see it those few times, we squint with disgust because our un-experienced brains regard it as out-of-the-ordinary. (Caricature portrayals in pop-culture hasn't helped either.) The ordinary, as our brains have learned, are the Caucasian standards of beauty; because it's mostly what our brains have known. Same goes with dark-skinned bodies with 'unattractive' body features (thicker lips, curled 'messy' hair, etc.).

That, I believe, is why many White folks do not hit up Asians and Black folks; and why many Asians and Blacks are not, respectively, interested in Asians and Blacks. (You know. The kind branded as racially "self-hating".) That, I believe, is why porn is mostly consisting of White heads instead of colored.





~~~Optional read~~~
All this can, thankfully, be corrected. Though, I speak from experience when I say, it wasn't easy. All the years of damage might still linger. For me, as an Asian, it has. I've been self-accepting of my homosexuality way longer than I have accepted my racial self; the latter of which has started happening only less than a decade ago, which is rather recent in comparison. I had grown up in Republican-town back suburbs of Northern California. It was even more horrid in rigid White-town America of Central California. In these places, I hardly got to see many asian folks. Those few that I did see in these regions were obviously not affected by the media nor anything else that would influence their definition of beauty; how could they be, since they don't see themselves in it? They don't see Asians as an existence in their regular lives. Rather, they see Asians more as an outside foreign that they don't care to associate with. They constantly go for White people, while rejecting other Asians. They never did get the very people they were chasing, because those visually-inexperienced White folks had the same attitude towards asians as said-mentioned Asians had towards their own race.

I was frightningly (to myself) one of those Asians, looking back those painful years.

Asians are not on adult websites like Xtube and such, because they don't feel their own physical type can fit into these places. It has nothing to do with "self-acceptance" and "being out". It has to do with an injured confidence due to lack of exposure.

So, the correction phases eventually took position. I started looking at Asian media more and more where I can find it, trying to convince myself that I'm interested in what I was seeing; even looked at Asian porn. It was all a bit of a forced chore, but I damned as hell kept with it. After a few more years, I have learned to desire the certain features of my own race. Now-a-days, I don't see why idiots hate the "slit eyes" so much, since they are nothing but sexy to me. Given the right accents, they (slit eyes) give off a devilish kind of appeal even.

I was "healed" of the "self-hatred". Now, I don't give a shit if the guy is White, or Asian. I'd fuck a cute abs-defined big-titted muscular slit-eye any day! Often times, I even get frustrated if I search up Asian guys for porn and can't find anything.

 

[NotHardUp1]

Too much is made of the supposed "hate" of so-called "Asians" in American hookup sites, or even porn. Go to India, or China, or Japan, or the Philippines, or Thailand, and see how much of the porn consumed there features Caucasian races.

And, I strongly disagree with Taralen's assertion that not preferring a sex partner who is skinny, fat, old, young, Chinese, black, uneducated, vanilla, or any other description, constitutes any form of hatred whatsoever. It's become trite to equate whatever may be portrayed as equal rights or access as some form of hate when it is denied. That's purely rhetoric when injected into sexual preference.

The vast majority of gay and straight men reject obese sexual partners, but they don't love their fat uncle less, or their buddy in the IT department. They prefer slim sexual partners. They don't HATE fat men. They find them sexually unappealing. HUGE difference, pun intended.

When it comes to race, they simply are programmed to find one or more races more or less appealing. Of course, there is no such race as Asian, but the Chinese-related races obviously are going to be less represented statistically in the west.

For my own part, I see no lack of black and hispanics represented on the most popular gay web sites here in America. Chinese or Japanese and related races, much less, but I think that is also due to fewer here to go into that work, plus more of them are economically successful so they don't have to whore to make rent.

 

[Taralen]

Too much is made of the supposed "hate" of so-called "Asians" in American hookup sites, or even porn. Go to India, or China, or Japan, or the Philippines, or Thailand, and see how much of the porn consumed there features Caucasian races.

Porn is banned in India and China. Japan is a homogeneous country and so are the Philippines and Thailand. So of course it won't have white actors. lol. Smh. I swear this is the fucking Twilight Zone, Tales from the Crypt lol.

Porn is viewed different there. Porn in those countries is girls fully clothed pouring food and coffee on their bodies. Penis and sexual organs are blurred always. God you are so stupid. Surrounded by idiots, swear to god.

United States is not a homogeneous country. It's a fucking media melting pot and gateway. No way porn should be that racist.

And, I strongly disagree with Taralen's assertion that not preferring a sex partner who is skinny, fat, old, young, Chinese, black, uneducated, vanilla, or any other description, constitutes any form of hatred whatsoever. It's become trite to equate whatever may be portrayed as equal rights or access as some form of hate when it is denied. That's purely rhetoric when injected into sexual preference.

It isn't hatred. People have their preferences and can do what they want yes as adults. But you wonder why the gay suicide rate is so high, especially for queers of color.

It doesn't hurt to be open minded and give people chances. I mean we are gay, why close your friendship and dating pool even more.

The vast majority of gay and straight men reject obese sexual partners, but they don't love their fat uncle less, or their buddy in the IT department. They prefer slim sexual partners. They don't HATE fat men. They find them sexually unappealing. HUGE difference, pun intended.

You can't compare body size to race though. Guys can lose weight in some cases too.

As long as his ass can walk up stairs, he's healthy lol. I don't care if he's fluffy or bigger. If he makes the effort to eat healthy now and then, he's cute in my book.

When it comes to race, they simply are programmed to find one or more races more or less appealing. Of course, there is no such race as Asian, but the Chinese-related races obviously are going to be less represented statistically in the west.

Bullshit. Unless you again live in a homogeneous area, that excuse is not going to work. Sorry.

For my own part, I see no lack of black and hispanics represented on the most popular gay web sites here in America.

I do. This site included. None of the ads or porn site features ever rarely have gays of color in them.

Hispanic also isn't a race. Some Hispanic guys consider themselves white.

Chinese or Japanese and related races, much less, but I think that is also due to fewer here to go into that work, plus more of them are economically successful so they don't have to whore to make rent.

The only thing I agree with you on, and it's the end of your soliloquy. lol.

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

What I also find trite is people who really play down that there is in fact hate involved in prefences, not all the time but it exists. But people really play it down like it almost non-existent.

It's like please, people still get upset that that is a Spanish language option on a Debit Card reader still.

 

[zombiekiller]

Never used Grindr. Can't imagine I ever will.