Frankly, Telstra, I find his hastefully-formed conclusion neither accurate nor productive. (If he's simply looking for reactions, which I have an inkling is the case, than I'll stop here and let him wallow in his deliberate puerility. Otherwise, if he's for real, here we go.)
I'm guessing he's not going to read and grasp my whole message.
First of all I'm not trying to be mean. You're grown and can do whatever you want. But the font you are using is very distracting especially when discussing dialogue like this. That's your business you can use whatever font you want, but it's just straining on my eyes.
So I hope you don't get offended, but I'm going to disable that font.
I read everything. lol. Sometimes I lurk. Other times I'm a ticking time bomb and I don't stop lol.
One thing that he hasn't taken into account is the more-than-abundance of Asian and African individuals who are above the stage of self-acceptance and expressed pride. We have so many of them here in California, Washington and New York; to name just a few states in the States.
I never said they didn't accept themselves. I just said it was hard for them to. I'm a gay black man here in California. I understand.
I don't doubt that some Asian countries do still currently fall a little behind the Western World in LGBT rights, but that itself doesn't represent the many confident individuals who are out and about in trying to hit up anyone they choose.
Not everyone is that lucky though. Some people still live by their family values.
Like for example myself. Being black I'm raised to be masculine and act like a stallion and be well endowed. I'm a very goofy, nerdy looking black guy, So in some cases I'm already failing to deliver in that regard.
Furthermore, what about those white folks who suffer a rigid Euro-Christian background and still believe in ex-gay ministries? (After all, the birth of anti-gay sentiments and attitudes are a predominantly Caucasian thing; if you research your world history!! And, most people who were in the ex-gay movement in the USA, and then in Europe, were white bible-belt folks.) As far as I'm concerned, these individuals can still scurry around the backwaters of the black closet and hook-up with other married white men with little to no problem.
Well white gays are the majority. So what if a few are into the ex gay movement. The white gays control the gay community and they reap the benefits of their white supremacy. So it's ok.
What's my obvious point? It's obvious that outness and self-acceptance aren't the issue at hand. So, what is?
The fact if you're gay, you better be white.
I don't claim to be an expert anymore than Taralen here claims. What I do believe is the root of the problem is exposure. It's that simple. I know people have heard it tiresome amount of times before. We see beautified Caucasian people everywhere in the media. They are the majority of the Western World. We see them in our daily routines. They define beauty in the West. They even influence Asian countries as to what beauty is, because modern Asia see's a lot of our Western Caucasian advertisement in their own homeland. Our brains, over time, has learned to become primarily attracted to specific Caucasian features; because it's what we've mostly experienced.
Exactly. White is right. White is beautiful. White is attractive. So it's only natural for us gay men to fall victim to that as well right? Is that a crime?
On the other hand, how often do we see Asians and Black people in comparison to their Caucasian counterparts? Representation has gotten better, granted, but still. How often? We don't see "slit-eyes" as beautiful because it's hardly there in our daily basis; not in the media nor in our regular daily routine. When we do see it those few times, we squint with disgust because our un-experienced brains regard it as out-of-the-ordinary. (Caricature portrayals in pop-culture hasn't helped either.) The ordinary, as our brains have learned, are the Caucasian standards of beauty; because it's mostly what our brains have known. Same goes with dark-skinned bodies with 'unattractive' body features (thicker lips, curled 'messy' hair, etc.).
I can only speak as a gay black man.
There was this show called Noah's Arc. It was about a screenwriter who was a feminine white collar gay black in Los Angeles/Hollywood. He was very well spoken and sophisticated. All of his friends and romantic interests were black deviant acting men. That is so unrealstic as far as LA is concerned. That shit might fly in Atlanta or DC.
But here in LA, a gay black man in that position is going to be with a non black men. Is that's the type of gay man he is going to be around in the corporate business world.
I cannot speak for gay asian men, but I will say this. Gay asian men will more than likely be around non gay asian men. If a gay asian man is with the same race, he moves to a asian homogeneous country like Japan or the Philippines or find love.
That, I believe, is why many White folks do not hit up Asians and Black folks; and why many Asians and Blacks are not, respectively, interested in Asians and Blacks. (You know. The kind branded as racially "self-hating".) That, I believe, is why porn is mostly consisting of White heads instead of colored.
No they are just racists and jerks and don't want to ruin their inner circuit of white gays only. It could also be a status and image thing. They don't the extra pressure. "You're gay and in an interracial relationship. Dude whats wrong with you.?" "You're gay and you're with a fat guy. Man what's your deal?" "You're gay and your boyfriend looks like a ugly serial killer" "Your gay and you're with a sissy twink, how sad" etc.
The second part about gays of color not being with their own race, again I already mentioned that.
Gay black men are together because they usually don't leave the inner city and street culture, and find other gay black men to relate to that.
Professional gay black men in the business world are going to be with non black men 95% of the time.
With asian men it's the same. Usually asian guys find love with other asian guys in asian dominated countries. Here in the states, many are with white men. Hence the name rice queen and stuff like that.
The final point you made about porn, it's just because porn is racist.
~~~Optional read~~~
All this can, thankfully, be corrected. Though, I speak from experience when I say, it wasn't easy. All the years of damage might still linger. For me, as an Asian, it has. I've been self-accepting of my homosexuality way longer than I have accepted my racial self; the latter of which has started happening only less than a decade ago, which is rather recent in comparison. I had grown up in Republican-town back suburbs of Northern California. It was even more horrid in rigid White-town America of Central California. In these places, I hardly got to see many asian folks. Those few that I did see in these regions were obviously not affected by the media nor anything else that would influence their definition of beauty; how could they be, since they don't see themselves in it? They don't see Asians as an existence in their regular lives. Rather, they see Asians more as an outside foreign that they don't care to associate with. They constantly go for White people, while rejecting other Asians. They never did get the very people they were chasing, because those visually-inexperienced White folks had the same attitude towards asians as said-mentioned Asians had towards their own race.
Why were you in Norcal? Did your family own a business there?
I have to agree asians are not represented in the media at all sadly.
I think why you had an easier time being asian than gay, is because naturally asian men are feminized. So I believe the transition was easy for you.
As I said earlier, me being black I can't do that. By societies standards, I'm supposed to be way more masculine that I am now.
Asians are not on adult websites like Xtube and such, because they don't feel their own physical type can fit into these places. It has nothing to do with "self-acceptance" and "being out". It has to do with an injured confidence due to lack of exposure.
I agree. I also think it has to do with culture. You don't see that many asians doing deviant acts. I mean they do, but it's rare. It's not as much as other races.
So, the correction phases eventually took position. I started looking at Asian media more and more where I can find it, trying to convince myself that I'm interested in what I was seeing; even looked at Asian porn. It was all a bit of a forced chore, but I damned as hell kept with it. After a few more years, I have learned to desire the certain features of my own race. Now-a-days, I don't see why idiots hate the "slit eyes" so much, since they are nothing but sexy to me. Given the right accents, they (slit eyes) give off a devilish kind of appeal even.
Yes I like all races of guys and I'm glad you like your own race of guys.
I was "healed" of the "self-hatred". Now, I don't give a shit if the guy is White, or Asian. I'd fuck a cute abs-defined big-titted muscular slit-eye any day! Often times, I even get frustrated if I search up Asian guys for porn and can't find anything.
I understand.
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