Race and gay guys.

[andyroos]

Well there is something repugnant about only seeing beauty in people of races other than you own. And it is obviously less odious to be exclusively attracted to members of your own race.

Duh?

 

[Apollo]

WTF do you want me to do? Search google image for black people that look like white people? I'm talking about the many people who I've come into contact with.

And bone structure? From what I know, you can't necessarily tell the difference in bone structure just by looking at someone. The only time I've seen bone structure used to separate races is in forensics and even then, I havent heard of it being 100% accurate.

So other than this "bone structure" that you keep bringing up? What necessarily separates the races to such a degree that explains excluding an entire race?

With all the mixing, race is pretty much a social distinction these days and less a genetic one.

Bone structure makes up the look of your face. The bone structures of black men look different from that of the bone structures of white men. Same with asians.

Latinos not so much, but there is a difference I can see. And your right about identifying bone structure in forensics. It helps to determine a race if they have been so badly burned, there is no other way.

What I am saying, is that a lot of people go off looks. If a guy doesnt like another guy because of his looks, then they arent attracted to that type of guy. Sadly, that type of guy may be of a different race than him, and that is fine. I don't find it racist. The physical look of the guy isn't what his brain says is attractive to him. It doesn't have to do anything with skin color.

For all we know, while that white guy isn't attracted to that black guy, they could still be friends. He could share his most intimate details with this guy, and hell, they could be best men at each others wedding. Who knows, maybe they end up falling in love down the line because they realize how much they have in common. Initial appearance seperated them, but now that they know each other, they are together.

I don't find that racist.

 

[Apollo]

Well there is something repugnant about only seeing beauty in people of races other than you own. And it is obviously less odious to be exclusively attracted to members of your own race.

Duh?

Double standards double standards.

All i'm saying.

Meh goodnight. I wonder where this thread will be when I wake up tomorrow.

 

[andyroos]

Not for me. I guess that's because I hold all people to the same standard.

 

[kayman23]

Sigh. Some of you are poster children of why this country is so fucked up on the discussion of "race". For the record, everybody starts as blank slates (pay attention to small children on a playground then you would know what I mean), but environmental stimuli affect our perceptions and responses to everything. I'll say this: Lucky7 and Doyen's arguments have the most validity of the 6 pages of this thread. There is nothing wrong with having preferences, but looking for weak ass excuses to justify them makes you look even more suspect to possessing hidden bias.

Apollo, I just saw a white woman that facially had very similar features to Tyra Banks (go figure). So your argument about bone structure of "races" doesn't make any sense to me at all.

Think about it.

 

[VenomGGXX]

I am a snow queen. Yes I will admit it. But the funny thing is that the guy I like is puerto rican, so does that count as ''white''? He is just like Ethan Park. His brothers are black, his sister is black, he grew up in a black environment, yet he has never been with a black guy, and thinks all asians are ugly. I have shown that man so much love and concern, and I have gotten jack shit for it. If you can't see someone for who they are, and can only see race, then what are you really looking for? A reflection of who you want to be? I guess in some ways I want to be white, but in others way I'm glad I'm black. But to hear what Ethan Park had to say when I ''know'' some fine black brothers were interested in him is disheartening. He may be white/mexican or whatever the hell but he is not 100% white and never will be. I just hope he realizes it before it's too late and he is alone, hopefully that wont happen to me either.

 

[VenomGGXX]

^ Some things a little TOO confessional and should probably be shared with a psychiatrist instead of a posting forum. If what you say is true, then I feel sorry for you. Looking in the mirror must be difficult. Glad I'm not you.

Shut the f*&* up. I posted it because I wanted to, not for you to give me some queeny, bitchy answer, I could care less if you want to be me or not. Maybe you should read what I said, and judge yourself before you judge others.

 

[VenomGGXX]

Um, yeah, ignoring the asshole queens. And for reference I said ''before it's too late'' because there have been so many older white guys ( I'm talking 40+) that h ave messaged me and said the biggest regret in their life was not being with men who treated them well. I had a 69 year old man message me on AOL and he said he wishes he could do his life over because he excluded the men from his life that really loved him because of their race. That is the truth, take it or leave it

 

[fetaby]

What I don't understand.

1. Why people say they are only attracted to one race.
2. Why people bash others for trying to delve into this topic.

Eh.

When I was in school, many many years ago, I lusted after a black guy with fierce abandon. He had muscles that simply didn't belong on the body of a high school student, a handsome face, bright smile, chiseled jaw, dimples on his cheeks. He was extremely intelligent, and excessively well groomed. But what I remember most was his inclusive attitude. As I recall he had as many white friends as black, and everyone that met him was charmed and awed. The point of me saying all this is that while I may be attracted to certain physical attributes, what seals the deal is the attitude.

I'm not colorblind, I am fully aware of race. And when I look for beauty I find it.
And if a hot man is nekkid in front of me, my dick is going to get hard. Hell to be honest, if he's easy on the eyes in any way my dick will get hard. But that's just me.

If I had to put myself into the shoes of some of these other posters, just for the sake of expanding my understanding of people in general, my thoughts on this thread go like this.

Location, location, location.

It would be easy to say you are only attracted to one race if that was mostly what is available to you. The logic is there in the statement that while whites are the majority of the population they will be what is desired. (true in the US anyway)
But for the same reason that religion shouldn't be allowed in government, why do we allow politics to dictate our social interactions. Democratic majority rules shouldn't be the standard we fall on to explain away the lack of introspection littered across these threads. But what about the people that live in places that have many different kinds of races? Why are some people choosing one race over another? Is it racism? If it is racism, should we just let them be? No, we should point out in as nice a way as possible, they have issues that aren't conducive to a global worldview and are limiting their usefulness to the future of the human race.

What you see is what you get.

And if you let the abundance of caucasian beauty portrayed by the media influence your attractions to a point you find none outside the race attractive, that speaks loudly of your ability to think critically. At that point I would highly suggest turning of the tv and walking past the magazines and look at the people that surround you. The images of commercial beauty are incredibly unrealistic and if you can pull model quality ass you shouldn't have the problem of looking too hard for mate of any race. Can anyone honestly say they have never seen an attractive person outside their race? No. I believe it was Bankside that said let your profession take you to a place that doesn't hold what you've initial preferred, how long will it be before you find someone attractive?

The double standard.

Is it okay if whites only want to date/mate other whites? Yeah, but why would you want to?
Is it okay if blacks only want to date/mate other blacks? Yeah, but again why would you want to?
And if you fall in one of these groups do you get to call another person of the opposite race in these groups a racist? Yeah, but you out yourself as a hypocrite.



A person of a minority race only dating white people cause they say that is all they find attractive. I just can't understand this one at all. I'm white, so I could theorize all day long and at the end of the day my opinions would be worthless cause I could never to any degree understand what it is like to be a minority. (except being gay, but that is a whole other situation altogether)

But I will give my opinion on the "self hating" term being thrown around. Without knowing someone personally and learning how they feel about their own race and the culture that goes with it, how can you make the statement that said person hates their race and in turn hates themself for being part of that race? A hate so strong they can't find anybody in their race attractive? To denounce them, and ostracize them is wrong. I would think that if a person is suffering from such a case it would stem from years and years of reinforced low self esteem, to the point that the loathing they feel for themselves is projected onto others that share the same similarities. They look for validation in the approval of people not like themselves. It sounds like a legitimate mental condition. One that would hinder a person in the grand arc of their life. A perceived attack on someone that is self hating by someone of the same race will only reinforce that hate bringing on a "that's what I'm talking about" response. So using that term isn't meant to cause illumination to someone that can't see, it's used as an insult. If someone is using that term, I would think, they think of themselves as being superior to the one they are using it to. So how can you help someone and look down on them at the same time? Your not helping, your just showing everyone how much of an angry asshat you really are.


These are some of my thoughts on the racial threads coming and going here. I hope I caused some to think, if even a little. Feel free to reply, or criticize. I will not be offended.

 

[VenomGGXX]

Very well put fetaby. You have compassion, while others only want to hate.

 

[fetaby]

Thanks venom, isn't that the point of this whole thing anyway?

And I thoroughly enjoyed reading your posts.

 

[Blue_Eyed_Boi]

If you claim to like a race with specific features that other races don't have, then it IS race based.

Like White guys that have light skin and dark hair? Well there are Latinos and Asians that can have the same features, so why not date them too?


I think what people are getting confused over is the difference between preference and racial discrimination.

I'm a White guy and growing up, obviously I dated White guys because of how many there are, and of course because of media influence. But once I looked past that and met many different of people, it changed and I became more open-minded. I didn't care what was considered the ideal beauty or what people thought.

Right now, I'm attracted to many different ethnicities, but my 'preference' is hot Asian guys. Dating-wise, racial discrimination is when you refuse to date or sleep with someone based on specifically their race, even if you are friends with them.
You'll notice a hot guy, but once you find out his race is one that you generally aren't attracted to, you'll wave him off.

Would I date a White, Black, Latino, etc. if the guy came along first and was likeable? Yes of course, BUT I am attracted to Asians and their culture and that's who I want to be with. It doesn't mean I'm shutting out other races, I just know what I want the most.

"Sexist". You're gay, you like men, not women. And men come in all sorts of different looks, so bringing up something like weight, height, etc., isn't a good argument.

Basically when you are attracted to someone, you're not actually 'choosing' it, something about them just appeals to you. Now for other races, ask yourself why aren't you attracted to them. What features of theirs not turn you on? To simply say you don't like a particular race because of 'their look' is pretty much narrowing it.

"If you can't find yourself or your own race attractive, what makes you think others would be attracted to you?" That says a lot.

 

[bearbacked]

It's fine to appreciate certain features that tend to be more prevalent with certain groups, but when one becomes so enamored with these things that it morphs into such an obsession/fetish that they start to snubbing or callously disregarding those who don't fit that bill, then that is (among other things...) tacky.

As I said before, do what you're going to do. No one can dictate to you who to date/fuck/suck/etc...but seriously, hush about it. Others don't need to know that you have a fixation for (or an aversion to) certain types, but if you're going to insist on revealing these things—especially in mixed company—then don't get bent out of shape when people decide to give you their blunt opinion or judgemental analysis of it.

No need to warn us about disapproval. We're gay and accustomed to it.

 

[CupCake]

WAIT WHO ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT? I have NEVER saw someone in this thread say that they date EXCLUSIVELY white men! In fact Musicman and Ethan Park said they find people in every race attractive.... Ethan even listed men who were Black,Latino,Asian that he would fuck,marry,date if he could, Ethan and Music just said that white men are their favorite.

So the question is no longer people who only fate ONE race because I did not see anyone who said that... The question is now is it racist to have a favorite race to have sex with? I have heard people have favorites allot for example I have heard people say things like this: I love all races but the Latinos get me going the most.

 

[Apollo]

Sigh. Some of you are poster children of why this country is so fucked up on the discussion of "race". For the record, everybody starts as blank slates (pay attention to small children on a playground then you would know what I mean), but environmental stimuli affect our perceptions and responses to everything. I'll say this: Lucky7 and Doyen's arguments have the most validity of the 6 pages of this thread. There is nothing wrong with having preferences, but looking for weak ass excuses to justify them makes you look even more suspect to possessing hidden bias.

Apollo, I just saw a white woman that facially had very similar features to Tyra Banks (go figure). So your argument about bone structure of "races" doesn't make any sense to me at all.

Think about it.

I have personally never seen it. So I stand by my argument.

But after waking up, I am over this topic. I am not going to get my answer, so meh

 

[andyroos]

n m .

 

[miketlow]

I guess you can count me in as one of those venerable snow queens then - cuz I love me some white men!

I'm 23, and believe it or not, have known I was gay since the age of 2. My mom enrolled me in Montessori school and I remember having a huge crush on one of the teachers - this strapping long haired Anglo stud named Tim.

In fact, I was so infatuated with Tim that I would try to sit by him and hold his hand when he'd take the class out on group walks in the park. Mind you at two and three you don't have any idea what the ramifications are of same sex attraction, and it's not sexual yet, but in my case atleast, there was a definitive attraction to white males early on in my development.

In fact, I just remembered, I had a crush on Ariel's prince charming in the movie The Little Mermaid! After the movie was over, I asked my mom if I could see it again - she had no clue I wanted to see it again to get another look at that animated strapping white stud!

But anyway....

I've wrestled with it, I've struggled with it, and I've at times even loathed my preference for white guys. I've asked myself if I'm self-hating, if I'm prejudiced against my own kind, and if I have some kind of inferiority complex.

I've kept coming back to the same conclusions, however; that I'm not self-hating, that I don't hate black people, and that I really don't have a problem with being a beautiful black man.

The bottom line is that white guys, and white guys only get my dick hard. I can't explain it any more than I can explain why I'm double jointed.

In my case atleast, especially in social settings and out at clubs, I find that it is in fact white guys who make the first move on me. I think this can be attributed to the fact that I basically look like a very tan white guy with coarse hair.

My features, the shape of my head, and my body shape look more like a Caucasian than a typical black guy. I often get complimented on my looks and I think that's really because when people see me, it's just like looking at a handsome white guy with darker skin.

Most people are attracted to people with similar features as themselves, and as long as ones looks don't veer too far from what's classicly "handsome" or "good looking", I think one will be considered attractive by societal standards.

I've been with a black guy before and really, it just did nothing for me. I mean, yeah, I got hard and all, but I just lacked the passion that I had when I was with the white guys.

I can't say I find dark skin really all that attractive. I don't find broad noses or wide lips attractive. Yes, I know all blacks don't have these features, and I'm definitely attracted to mulatto guys or black guys with sharper features like my own, but honestly, I've yet to meet one in person.

But truthfully, it's just white guys who get my attention, keep my attention, and turn me on emotionally and sexually. Something about them just seriously makes my heart skip a beat! Of course, this is an online forum, and out in public I never let on the truth, or act infatuated with those super hot white boys, and perhaps that's why I have such success.

I will say that it's still quite rare to see a white guy with anything but another white guy though. I do find though that a large number of non-whites seem to demonstrate a preference for white guys, and I think that has a lot to do with societal imposed standards of beauty.

I mean, for gods sake, look at the welcome screen of this site - what group seems to be over represented in gay porn? That's right - white males. I can't explain my attractions, and honestly am tired of trying to explain them or apologize for them. Bottom line, it works for me, and until that sexy black stud comes along and gets my dick hard, and my passion flowing, I'll continue to fuck/date what's been proven to work every time - the white boy!

By the way, it would be concerning I think if I lusted after the hot white boy but never got any attention from them - if it was one sided. It's not, so therefore I really don't see what the problem is.

Thanks for reading!

Thanks for reading!

Well its nice to know which head you think with!!....

 

[HellYeahSurf]

Why does it seem that most gay guys are always trying to get a white guy instead of other races?

how come NOBODY on the first page has answered this guys question?

it goes so much deeper than "preference" where does preference come from?

how come nobody on page 1 has addressed the mere fact that we live in a "white saturated" society?

the most popular gay porn features - white men
our movies and media features- white men
our fashion and advertisements features- white men

any time a minority is included (asian , black, etc.) its usually a token asian or a token black who is thus made to "represent all blacks" or "all asians"

for example if u were to see a group of ugly asian kids that would have more impact on your pysche than if you were to see a group of ugly white kids.....you would probably say to yourself "oh asians are unattractive" but then when u see the group of white kids mentally you would make excuses and say "oh those kids are unattractive" u would not put the race label in front of it for the most part...

u can see the same thing going on in alot of gay sex personal websites where guys will say something like "prefer white. not into blacks, fats, fems or old dudes" that speaks volumes because this person in his mind denounces white guys that are fat, fem, old, etc. he categorizes white into the hot and the unattractive...if a fat old white guy sends him a message this does not register any negative thoughts about white people, he looks at that person as an "ugly fat old guy" whereas if a old fat ugly black guy were to message him he would just label him as an "ugly black guy "

ever wonder why that is? why can you get 10000 messages from ugly white guys but that will not affect ur perception of "white beauty"?

everyday we are reminded when we turn on tv, or watch porn , etc. of the "diversity" of whiteness.

our society presents the "best of the best" when it comes to white men ...so obviously they will be deemed more attractive to many

majority rules.

 

[Apollo]

how come NOBODY on the first page has answered this guys question?

it goes so much deeper than "preference" where does preference come from?

how come nobody on page 1 has addressed the mere fact that we live in a "white saturated" society?

the most popular gay porn features - white men
our movies and media features- white men
our fashion and advertisements features- white men

any time a minority is included (asian , black, etc.) its usually a token asian or a token black who is thus made to "represent all blacks" or "all asians"

for example if u were to see a group of ugly asian kids that would have more impact on your pysche than if you were to see a group of ugly white kids.....everyday we are reminded when we turn on tv, or watch porn , etc. of the "diversity" of whiteness.

our society presents the "best of the best" when it comes to white men ...so obviously they will be deemed more attractive to many

majority rules.

lol are you Absolutist returned?

 

[gsdx]

how come NOBODY on the first page has answered this guys question?

Because every time we turn around, someone makes a new thread about the same thing. There are hundreds of threads in this forum asking the same question, and it hasn't been answered in any of them.