racist?

[ladygrey]

Well

I'm going to muddy the waters.

I'd like to point that in my experince, we are all, in some ways, racist. And I think that's normal. Studies have shown that we tend to group people by obvouis chacteristics, such as color or racial idenity. Those same studies also show that in Human evolution, grouping people racialy was a cultraul self defense mechanism and needed to preserve cultural cohesion.

Our modern world is very, very different that the old one. Now, we live in a cutlure where all skins colors can be from our cultral groups. Those old instincits are still there.

So, we are all racist in some way. BUT!!!

It's our chosing to act on those cultrual, social, and internal racial views that truly defines whether or not we are racist. Example: I grew up in a small rural town, with no visible minorites. My family was very racsit, still are lol, so I was raised being taught that "forgieners" are anyone with another skin color. As an adult, I live in a large city. I meet hundreds of indivduals with diffrent ethinic backgrounds and my first reaction is still the same as when I was a child. My next reaction is to immedicatly overcome that reaction and move on with my life.

Am I racist? Not in the sligtest. I'm simply preprogamed from birth by my family/cultrual upbringing. And as I grow up, I start to change that.

So in regards to sexual atraction,

I am predomiatly attracted to white males. In my everyday life, I am drawn to that demographic and in my pornigrahic tastes, I go white.

*shrugs* There have been Asian men in my personal life that I've been incredialy attracted too, as have there been Abrabic men. But generaly, I'm drawn to white males.

It has nothign to do with race, however. It's simply a matter of personal prefernce, or I've been raised to find white males attractive.

However I think it's a skin color thing with me. Not racial, but skin color. I've found Italian, Greek, or Spanish men untractive because of skin color. Same with latino men. And some of the white men I've bumped into who've had darker skin were less attractive to me. So I can't be racist if white men who have darker skin don't attract me?

lol
That was confusing, but lol

I do remember, however, one black boy who I found incredibly attractive when I was maybe 8 or 9. Not sure why, but he had an amazing smile.

But my point is,

We are all racist, in some way, and that's ok. Acting on those that prejuice, justiying it, pretending it's something more than cultrual/social bias is not. But hey, let's all relax.

And to fianlly state that I'm really really not racist,
I can't be cause I have native heritage, so my skin color is not pure white. Plus I likely have black ancestors as well given that my family has heart rythms only found in people of african ancesotry.

 

[NongreasySweatproof]

And to fianlly state that I'm really really not racist,
I can't be cause I have native heritage, so my skin color is not pure white. Plus I likely have black ancestors as well given that my family has heart rythms only found in people of african ancesotry.

Two things:

(1) There are virtually no physical traits that are unique to only one "race." The heart arrhythmia condition may be much more common in people of African descent, but it doesn't necessarily mean you're part "black." The whole idea of race is based on average frequences of certain traits, and there is no such thing as a uniquely black gene (or any other kind of race gene).

(2) We're all racist. You're racist, and I'm racist, to some extent, I'm sure. Just because you're part native doesn't mean you can't be racist. Why is being racist the domain of white people? I couldn't disagree more with that sentiment.

I wish this thread would just die the quick death it deserves.

 

[probable]

I think if you don't like dark skin, then you won't like blacks.

My whole point is that not all blacks have dark skin. So saying somehting like "I don't like blacks" is not that same as saying "I don't like dark skin."

Why can't people understand that? I'm not telling you to like dark skin, I'm just saying that it doesn't make any sense to equate blackness to dark skin. I have Greek and Japanese friends who are darker than I am. Would you not be atracted to them?

"Black" as a definition of race or ethnicity is NOT something you can see. Ergo, it is impossible to call it a "physical/ sexual preference." If Black guys don't make your dick hard, it's because of what you think about Blacks as a race, not because of what you see.

It's not anything that I can fault you for, given what people have said about media and cultural portrayals, but it is racism and it should be recognized as such...

So in regards to sexual atraction,

I am predomiatly attracted to white males. In my everyday life, I am drawn to that demographic and in my pornigrahic tastes, I go white.

*shrugs* There have been Asian men in my personal life that I've been incredialy attracted too, as have there been Abrabic men. But generaly, I'm drawn to white males.

It has nothign to do with race, however. It's simply a matter of personal prefernce, or I've been raised to find white males attractive.

However I think it's a skin color thing with me. Not racial, but skin color. I've found Italian, Greek, or Spanish men untractive because of skin color. Same with latino men. And some of the white men I've bumped into who've had darker skin were less attractive to me. So I can't be racist if white men who have darker skin don't attract me?

And if only more people would realize their sexual attraction in this way. "I am more attracted to..." is completely non-racist. It's just telling what you like. And understanding why you like what you, or at least stating what it is you like as it pertains to individuals "it's a skin color thing."

Thanks, ladygrey.

 

[ladygrey]

lol

having worked with many native people over the years, I can completly agree that racisim is not a white thing. They just get blamed for more for it.

And yah, gentically, race is one messed up tree. We all come from one location and everyone has complex genes. For example, there was a native nation that was compeltly blond and blue eyed generations before white people "supposedly" set foot on trutle island.

And we should talk about stuff like this!

I mean, come on. that's how we grow and change, though disucssion and hearing other opinions....should we stop because people get offended or take it to serouisly? No! It needs to be talked about ,so we can all improve our opinions.

 

[jockboy01]

Well, perhaps you should reread my post that you quoted. I said that in general I'm not attracted to black people. That's different than saying in general I find black people ugly. So you totally put words in my mouth. If you don't see the difference in those two statements that's your problem... not mine. I didn't say in general that they are unattractive... just that in general I'm not attracted to them. Subtle difference in wording... but a very important one. Me not being attracted to a person or group of people does NOT make me a racist.... and it is different from me saying that a person or group is unattractive which is more racist. I'm in the former category. If you said you weren't generally attracted to whites I would take no offense... it's YOUR preference.

 

[jockboy01]

If Black guys don't make your dick hard, it's because of what you think about Blacks as a race, not because of what you see.

Totally disagree with this. Does that mean that if I'm not generally attracted to red heads it's because of what I think about them as a race? No, just certain physical characteristics are more physically appealing to me than others. It has NOTHING to do with how I feel about a particular race. People who say it does kind of irritate me b/c I'm one of the most accepting people I know. However, at the same time I have fairly high standards when it comes to boys I find physically attractive. These are not mutually exclusive.

 

[Soilwork]

OK.. You guys started a flame war and you DIDN'T invite ME?

Fuck.

 

[jockboy01]

Oh, our bad... Hey Soilwork... you want to join our flame war in the no flame zone? All are welcome regardless of race HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

[bma1983]

Well, perhaps you should reread my post that you quoted. I said that in general I'm not attracted to black people. That's different than saying in general I find black people ugly. So you totally put words in my mouth. If you don't see the difference in those two statements that's your problem... not mine. I didn't say in general that they are unattractive... just that in general I'm not attracted to them. Subtle difference in wording... but a very important one. Me not being attracted to a person or group of people does NOT make me a racist.... and it is different from me saying that a person or group is unattractive which is more racist. I'm in the former category. If you said you weren't generally attracted to whites I would take no offense... it's YOUR preference.

I didn’t put words in your mouth. I never explicitly said you said you find black people ugly. I said:

To me, saying someone (or a group)is generally unattractive is no different than saying someone (or a group) is generally ugly.

That is my opinion. (And also the opinion of thesaurus.com) If you didn’t understand that then that's your problem...not mine. But answer me this, if someone or a group is (generally) unattractive, then what are they? Mediocre?

I have fairly high standards when it comes to boys I find physically attractive.

That may well be the case, but I think it's sad that just because someone is of a particular race they wouldn’t meet your "high" standards.

 

[Soilwork]

well, I managed to have a flame war about ageism recently in here, but this topic kinda bores me.

To many people just desperate to pin he "Racist" label on someone else.

But I'd like you to all remember that flame wars, so long as they stay respectful.. are one of the things that keep us all coming back. So have your arguements, have some fun and don't take anything too personally.

Oh, and if your'e white and only attracted to asian men, does that make you racist against yourself?

 

[jockboy01]

well, bma1983... unlike my comments... yours were after you quoted mine without a new paragraph. Thus any logical forum reader would assume that the comment applied to me. If not, then why did you quote my post?

And again, I never said somebody wouldn't meet my standards based on race alone.

Interesting thought about being racist against yourself soilwork. I guess you would be by some people's standards here. Wonder how that works?

 

[bma1983]

well, bma1983... unlike my comments... yours were after you quoted mine without a new paragraph. Thus any logical forum reader would assume that the comment applied to me. If not, then why did you quote my post?

What?

 

[wastingmymind]

I actually like the fact that he has a criteria. He can turn down guys, unlike me who needs to be open to everyone by force.

 

[luminum]

Why are we automatically interpreting 'not being attracted to' as 'I think you're ugly'. That's not the statement being made. People may be good looking, but that doesn't equate attractiveness. Angelina Jolie is beautiful, but not attractive to me. The really cute guy who works at the library with me is not attractive to me. I just don't feel liek i could see us together.

So stop assuming things if you are and read as he feels indifferent unless he states that he finds all people of a certain race ugly.

For me, I used to say that black guys did nothing for me, but as I really took the time to look at all guys, I realized that it wasn't race, it was just from guy to guy. A lot of white guys don't attract me, and a lot of black guys do. It just depends on who it is in particular and it's independent of his race.

I will agree that it's not quite right to make the statement for a race because I feel it really is about the individual, so you can't say with 99.9% certainty any more than you could with 80% certainty or 70% certainty.

 

[halubtsi]

I don't see racism in statements like "I generally don't find (insert race here) men, attractive." It does not exclude all men from that particular race. It just means that the guy doesn't normally find men from that particular race attractive. Let's say we took a random sample of 300 guys (100 white, 100 black, 100 asian). If I found 80 of 300 men attractive, it shows that my standards are pretty high. Only 80 out of 300 guys match the characteristics that I find sexually and physically attractive. Out of those 80 men, there were 10 black men, 30 asian men and 40 white men. From this extrapolation, I can answer definitively: In general, I'm not attracted to black men. Is it racism? No. It's averages we're dealing with here, not racism.

Funny thing about sexual and physical attraction, is that it is EXCLUSIVE. I don't find every white guy attractive, nor do I find every Asian guy attractive. It's just that I know what I like.

 

[probable]

Totally disagree with this. Does that mean that if I'm not generally attracted to red heads it's because of what I think about them as a race? No, just certain physical characteristics are more physically appealing to me than others. It has NOTHING to do with how I feel about a particular race. People who say it does kind of irritate me b/c I'm one of the most accepting people I know. However, at the same time I have fairly high standards when it comes to boys I find physically attractive. These are not mutually exclusive.

okay. you're sort of missing my entire point and instead responding to bma1983. and while bma and i agree, we are saying different things. so, if you want to disagree with me (or show how what you're saying is different from my definition of "racism") you'll need to respond to the following:

what "certain physical characteristics" do you see in black men "generally" that do not appeal to you? and how are these characteristics specific to and prevalent in black men only? and if they are not specific to and prevalent in black men only, then why is it easier for you lable your distaste as "black" and not these characteristics themselves, which, by the way, are NOT specific to and prevalent in black men only?

you can, contrary to popular belief, be very accepting and still hold deep seated biases or misconceptions for one reason or another. trust me, you aren't nearly as irritated by my statements as I am by yours. as i am by the hordes of asian and latino men who will only date white guys because they think that white beauty is somehow superior to their own. as i am y profile after profile of "not interested in fat, fem or black guys" when they have no idea what i look like or who i am or whether or not i fit into their little stereotypes of "certain physical characteristics" that black men are supposed to have.

 

[lovecrazedkid]

I'm black and I dont find many black women or men attractive. If anything I go for every other race intentionally. That doesnt make me a racist right? I dont hate my own race. They just arent what I'm looking for. You're own personal preference doesnt make you a racist unless you avoid these people because of their race. I could see if you were like "damn, I hate the way black people look, etc" but its just something thats not your style. I dont think its that big of a deal.

 

[Runewell]

Just a second. Are we trying to be exact here? To answer the question, no, I don't think it is racist to "find black people unattractive", but I think the statement is inaccurate. If ever in your life you have ever been attracted to at least one black guy, then it is not accurate to say that you don't find black men attractive. It is more accurate to say that most black men have physical characteristics that you don't prefer. Of course that sounds ridiculous, but that is much different than saying there is not one black man that would turn you on--
which is what "I find black men unattractive" means.

As many people before me have said, not all black men have the same characteristics. Some have a mixture of physical traits that come from all over the place. I think it's wording that is the problem.

The problem with what I just said is that it sounds just too politically correct--in retrospect all of this wordplay seems unnecessary. I'm black, and I don't see the big deal.

For me, if someone says "I want you to meet Tom. Oh, and just so you know, he's (insert ethnicity here)." Not having seen the guy, I wouldn't assume he's not going to be attractive to me simply because he's race x. But that's me.

Basically, I think it's unnecessary to worry about race. If a guy with predominantly black characteristics doesn't do it for you, fine. For every guy that isn't attracted to that, there is one who is.

 

[3nipples]

I think Belgians are generally unattractive.

I have some Belgian co-workers that are exceptionally good looking.

Both of those statements are true.

 

[jockboy01]

what "certain physical characteristics" do you see in black men "generally" that do not appeal to you? and how are these characteristics specific to and prevalent in black men only? and if they are not specific to and prevalent in black men only, then why is it easier for you lable your distaste as "black" and not these characteristics themselves, which, by the way, are NOT specific to and prevalent in black men only?

Look, you have to admit that each race has certain characteristics that are indeed most prevalent in that particular race. For instance, asians generally have thinner eyes. Black guys tend to have wider nostrils. Etc. These aren't bad or ugly features by any means... just features. It's an overall characteristic pattern that makes somebody look like they belong to an ethnic group. For instance, I'm darker skinned than pretty much all of my asian friends... but I don't look asian. And I think it would be much cruder to say that I'm not attracted to slanty eyed people than to say I'm not attracted to asians (just an example btw b/c I feel black is getting a bad rap here unfairly). And I've said, it doesn't mean I don't find any asians attractives... just less likely on an average basis (see halubtsi's explanation).

I totally agree with...

Not having seen the guy, I wouldn't assume he's not going to be attractive to me simply because he's race x.

I don't think there is a race out there that I don't find at least a guy attractive from that race.

you can, contrary to popular belief, be very accepting and still hold deep seated biases or misconceptions for one reason or another.

Well of course. EVERYBODY has biases and misconceptions. Most of them are based on experience or a hint of truth but not always. It's only our ability to be cognizant of our biases that's important b/c that allows us to be accepting. You can't possibly expect anybody including yourself to be without bias. It is part of our nature obtained through experiences.