"Slut shaming" gay men or men for that matter. Does it exists?

[xboxfan34]

There's a HUGE difference between fucking a lot of guys and actively making someone feel alienated within their own community.

 

[eastofeden]

There's a HUGE difference between fucking a lot of guys and actively making someone feel alienated within their own community.

..in your mind.

I have lived it.....have you? Do you know what you are talking about or do you just assume to know what other people experience?

Your acceptance is conditional.....and you alienate people because of it...

 

[nycguydowntown]

Gay sluts are a complete turn off to me---but I know what my definition of one is---they are the ones who are proud of sucking strange dick in a sauna or getting fucked by a stranger---I mean a slut is someone who goes all in with the sex--even if it is a stranger. It's not the amount of guys if it is safe stuff---it's the unsafe behavior with a complete stranger that makes you a slut.

 

[TheLoveableLoner]

I've been accused of slut shaming a few times when I speak out against the hypocrisy of the gay community. In reality, all I want is for us to deliver our promise of a loving and accepting community for LGBT youth who feel unsafe to come out in their home situations..

I'll bite. What hypocrisy is bothering you and why?

 

[eastofeden]

Gay sluts are a complete turn off to me---but I know what my definition of one is---they are the ones who are proud of sucking strange dick in a sauna or getting fucked by a stranger---I mean a slut is someone who goes all in with the sex--even if it is a stranger. It's not the amount of guys if it is safe stuff---it's the unsafe behavior with a complete stranger that makes you a slut.

..and it is perfectly fine if it is a turn off to you....seriously....

Lots of things turn me off.....no apologies.....

It is always smart to know and focus on what turns you on...

 

[JPGhost]

Saying slut to a man is a bit down-grading ya think?

 

[NotHardUp1]

If they didn't introduce it..they did perpetuate it and enter it as Biblical Truth in their book....

Not to mention that lovely fairy tale about Adam and Eve with evil Eve as the "bad one".....

Again, you're not giving credit where credit is due.

Christianity didn't "enter" anything into the book, just added the new part at the end.

And certainly, Christianity did not author the account of Adam and Eve. That's completely Jewish, and like the rival creation accounts of various cultures, goes way back before written literature into oral tradition.

You really should be slamming Judaism. The worst thing you seem to be able to lay at Christianity's door is believing the Jews, and I guess by extension, all the people who in turn believed the Christians.

I mean, if Fundamentalists are the problem in Africa (which I don't buy), then Judaism is the problem in homophobia or sexual mores in Western society. Can't have it both ways.

 

[rareboy]

Just saying. It's rare for men to be shamed for sleeping around.

The idea that there's guys trying to put themselves into the struggle that women face day to day for simply being a female is ridiculous.

If you feel guilty about sleeping around as a guy whether gay or straight, then you probably either have issues with yourself or you might be out of control where you need to take a step back. I tend to think that guys that claim that they're being slut shamed are the people that really are out of control sexually. They aren't responsible as in getting tested, using protection, sleeping with guys who they don't even know what their status is, sex addicts where they really have a problem stopping themselves and etc. My guess are those the ones that are screaming slut shaming when people question them.

Well fortunately we have you to do the slut shaming here.

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

I would like to add that on here I have seen people say that having casual sex with a lot of men means there is something mentally off with that person. People really have a problem with separating their ideals and how they feel about things with other people. The biggest problem with these same people is that they see their way as the correct way to live, when there really is no correct way to live.

People really need to live and let live, but they don't, for one reason or another they have to worry and judge everyone else.

 

[rareboy]

I find that usually it is the ones who aren't getting laid who have the bigest issues with someone else's sexual activities.

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

I would imagine that sexual frustration does play a part in the judgements that people have against sluts. I also think it is the romanticized "the one" and "saving yourself" that still clings to a lot of people.

Also the tendency to argue that there are a lot of diseases out there as if the people who are having lots of sex don't use protection or take precautions.

 

[refujiunderground]

It's funny seeing so many people in here say that gay men can be slut shamed as if gay culture doesn't revolve around sex or it isn't expected and accepted for gay men to be premiscious or sexual.

 

[xboxfan34]

I'll bite. What hypocrisy is bothering you and why?

The whole Grindr "no fats, no femmes, no ugly people" mentality. Basically treating other gay men no better than homophobes.

 

[eastofeden]

It's funny..I didn't even know I was a slut until relatively recently...sometime in the last 10 years...and it was my straight best friend that pointed it out to me....but not with malice....

The notion that gets me..that slut will fuck "just anyone" ....like where do they get that notion?????? I've known a lot of sluts and I can say with certainty that none of them would have fucked "just anyone"....well..except for the ones who really DO like anonymous sex....

Shit..I could have fucked tons of men ..a different one every night if I wanted to...it comes with the territory since I worked in a gay bar and there are a lot of horny men....but I need to have sexual chemistry. I make a few mistakes along the way but for the most part I got it right and the sexual chemistry was there.....

I turned down waaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy more people than I ever had sex with...and I had sex with a lot of men... at least 750 but not over 1000...you lose count after awhile but I kept a journal up to a point in my life and NOT because of "ego"...it was so I could remember their names (I have a hard time with names)... and also remember them to masturbate to...I have all the porn I need in my memory LOL.... so adding the rest after that it is easy to come up with an estimate...

...there was always a spark..a sexual connection...unless I was really drunk and that is when I made a mistake usually...but I know people who like complete anonymous and I get it and I don't think they are better or worse...more or less of a slut...who cares what other consenting adults do anyway??????

 

[rareboy]

It's funny seeing so many people in here say that gay men can be slut shamed as if gay culture doesn't revolve around sex or it isn't expected and accepted for gay men to be [STRIKE]premiscious[/STRIKE] promiscuous or sexual.

You think that gay culture revolves around promiscuous sex, but you're wrong about this. It is some kind of obsession that you seem to have.

I think that a reasonable expectation is that any person should feel that they are free to have recreational sex with as many partners as they choose, as long as they play safe. It is also reasonable to expect that any person should not feel they have to have lots of casual sex or even sex at all if they don't want to.

What is unacceptable, to put it bluntly, is having people sit in some kind of judgement about what other adults choose to do. It is unacceptable to impose some personal emotionally based moral standard onto others' behaviour if that behaviour is consensual and legal.

I don't see why you are surprised that gay men are slut shamed. You do it relentlessly in post after post and thread after thread. Many homos are the same. Either because they are so emotionally fragile or damaged that they are unable to have any intimate, but casual sexual involvement with another person...or usually because they are bitter that they aren't getting nay action.

You seem to think that you have the only legitimate definition of what gay 'culture' is. This is a mistake that a lot of people make.

There is no doubt that with the sexual revolution of the 60's and 70's and the gay liberation movement through the 70's and 80's that it suddenly became acceptable to celebrate that homosexuals were, in fact, sexual beings.....and that we damned well enjoyed it. But at the same time, there was also the same kind of explosion of casual straight sex as well....in large part because women were free for the first time to openly celebrate and enjoy being sexual as well.

You may not like this. It may not fit your image of how people should behave, either based on your own religious code or from personal experience.

But this does not make you superior to anyone.

 

[eastofeden]

Does anyone else think it is weird that we are having this conversation on an adult oriented gay site?

 

[eastofeden]

The whole Grindr "no fats, no femmes, no ugly people" mentality. Basically treating other gay men no better than homophobes.

I have never been to Grindr...but if I went there..I would totally appreciate the upfront and honest thing......

If you aren't into me...who cares? I see it as a complete non issue and I would silently thank them for not wasting my time...

I usually stay out of this argument (no fats/no femmes) when it comes up because I don't think there is any real issue...

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

It's funny seeing so many people in here say that gay men can be slut shamed as if gay culture doesn't revolve around sex or it isn't expected and accepted for gay men to be premiscious or sexual.

Even if this were true that gay culture revolved around sex, doesn't mean people can't slut shame. You really have an odd view of how things are, it sounds like you are stuck in your head more than you actual go outside and learn to enjoy people for who and what they are.

 

[Cormac135]

I find that usually it is the ones who aren't getting laid who have the bigest issues with someone else's sexual activities.

Amen.

Some of you guys are in dire need of a good fuck.

 

[peeonme]

Amen.

Some of you guys are in dire need of a good fuck.

...or even a bad one.