"Slut shaming" gay men or men for that matter. Does it exists?

[eastofeden]

I'm talking about Advertising. So it is not wrong to advertise "No fats, No fems, No ...etc" ?
Telling people face to face is a different matter.

If it was me..I would focus on what I DO like in my advertisement....

..but for all I know..maybe they tried that already with their advertisements and got a lot of guys who lied to them or bugged them or who acted all butthurt because you told them you weren't attracted to them....

One guy on here last week was telling us about lying on one of those sites to get laid..

..and instead of hearing a lecture and having guilt trips put on them or getting surprised by someone who lied to them...they decided to be blunt so they wouldn't have to deal with all that bullshit.

A lot of people handle rejection VERY BADLY....so it is better to put it out there BEFORE you find yourself in someone else's drama...

 

[Telstra]

Everyone has their preference. Do you personally want to have sex with someone that's morbidly obese, or hyper effeminate to the point of almost being transgender? Or have people lie about how they are OK with having sex or dating someone they have no interest in?

If you do want to have sex with people like this that's cool but most bisexual and gay men, do not.

How many times do i have to repeat my question.
Do you think it is ok to advertise "No fats, No fems, No ... " ?

 

[Telstra]

If it was me..I would focus on what I DO like.,....

..but for all I know..maybe they tried that already and got a lot of guys who lied to them or bugged them or who acted all butthurt because you told them you weren't attracted to them....

One guy on here last week was telling us about lying on one of those sites to get laid..

..and instead of hearing a lecture and having guilt trips put on them or getting surprised by someone who lied to them...they decided to be blunt so they wouldn't have to deal with all that bullshit.

A lot of people handle rejection VERY BADLY....so it is better to put it out there BEFORE you find yourself in someone else's drama...

Now we are getting somewhere.
Yes it is better to say "prefer slim, toned, fit, well hung ... etc"

 

[Telstra]

by the way, there are very few "fem" people around.
People who advertised "No fem" are stupid ...

 

[xboxfan34]

I have never been to Grindr...but if I went there..I would totally appreciate the upfront and honest thing......

If you aren't into me...who cares? I see it as a complete non issue and I would silently thank them for not wasting my time...

I usually stay out of this argument (no fats/no femmes) when it comes up because I don't think there is any real issue...

Maybe you'll think it's a big issue when someone decides to off themselves over constantly being bullied by the people that are supposed to be the ones accepting them.

 

[Devois]

I was going to say some thing about the mos moriam changing to accommodate homosexuality, but not sluttiness, but that's hardly groundbreaking thought. I will say that gay virgin shaming is something I've never encountered. Now virgin shaming in general is about, for boys and girls, but I can't think of a time I felt under pressure from my peers to get some cock for the first time. If anything, they pushed me towards trying a girl first.

Honestly, gay virgin shaming sounds like something out of a 2000's sketch show. "Lol, he still has a gag reflex!"

 

[refujiunderground]

I was going to say some thing about the mos moriam changing to accommodate homosexuality, but not sluttiness, but that's hardly groundbreaking thought. I will say that gay virgin shaming is something I've never encountered. Now virgin shaming in general is about, for boys and girls, but I can't think of a time I felt under pressure from my peers to get some cock for the first time. If anything, they pushed me towards trying a girl first.

Honestly, gay virgin shaming sounds like something out of a 2000's sketch show. "Lol, he still has a gag reflex!"

Its real though. If you're a guy that isn't into sleeping around or wants a monogamous relationship, folks will be all thinking you're all types of fucked up or weird for real.

 

[rareboy]

You're desperate to look for a fight, aye?


For the record, your little comment about me having to get laid and being jealous of those that do doesn't apply to me. Nice try trying to virgin shame me. That would have been relevant a year ago.

No. You are the one who always seems to be looking for a fight, either with the rest of the guys here or with the world in general.

And who was virgin shaming?

I even wrote earlier that for those who don't want recreational sex or sex at all...it isn't anyone's business either to judge them.

But just because you've scored some dick over the last year and seem to have built up a whole personal moral and behavioural code around getting fucked....doesn't make you an expert by any stretch on the subject.

What I want for you is to chill out and stop ranting and venting about all the guys out there who are enjoying as much sex as they can get without guilt or remorse.

All of your constant rage about other guys not meeting your personal standards can't be good for your emotional or intellectual health.

 

[tarallucci]

It's rare for men to be shamed for sleeping around.

I don't think it's rare. Men are generally known to be hedonists. Almost an insult to those guys who haven't misunderstood sex for a sport

 

[rareboy]

Its real though. If you're a guy that isn't into sleeping around or wants a monogamous relationship, folks will be all thinking you're all types of fucked up or weird for real.

I honestly don't think that this is necessarily the reason that people might think that someone is fucked up or weird for real.

 

[eastofeden]

Maybe you'll think it's a big issue when someone decides to off themselves over constantly being bullied by the people that are supposed to be the ones accepting them.

Someone rejecting you because you are fat or feminine is not bullying....

If you need it to be about bullying....I can't stop you from feeling that way....

Listen..I am the guy that stands up for Fred Phelps even though I disagree with and even hate EVERYTHING HE SAYS AND STANDS FOR!!!! I lit candles for the fucker on his deathbed because I credit him with advancing our cause....

I am the guy who thinks there is a silver lining in every cloud and I am an expert at finding it..because I always look. What I call the silver lining..upfront honesty in this case..you call bullying. We are miles away from any common ground.

 

[refujiunderground]

No. You are the one who always seems to be looking for a fight, either with the rest of the guys here or with the world in general.

And who was virgin shaming?

I even wrote earlier that for those who don't want recreational sex or sex at all...it isn't anyone's business either to judge them.

But just because you've scored some dick over the last year and seem to have built up a whole personal moral and behavioural code around getting fucked....doesn't make you an expert by any stretch on the subject.

What I want for you is to chill out and stop ranting and venting about all the guys out there who are enjoying as much sex as they can get without guilt or remorse.

All of your constant rage about other guys not meeting your personal standards can't be good for your emotional or intellectual health.

The irony of you saying that when there's been more than enough people that have seen you all waltzing in on some insult shit for no reason. You love to do that on here to other people too. Don't try to pin your shit on me either.

Don't try to act like you didn't come in here dissing and when I didn't do what you WANTED me to do where you looked silly with your disses for all to see which I didn't entertain, you then finally added to the discussion trying to be civil. You are not slick.

 

[Devois]

Some will. But that applies to straight men. And there were girls I knew when we were fifteen talking about the other girls who supposedly masturbated because they couldn't get a boy to handle it. It can be cruel, but I think gay men at least can have it easier.

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

Sorry refug, but you don't get to consistently judge people in multiple threads with the animosity that you have in your posts and get off Scott free or some animosity thrown back at you.

 

[refujiunderground]

Sorry refug, but you don't get to consistently judge people in multiple threads with the animosity that you have in your posts and get off Scott free or some animosity thrown back at you.

Well, rareboy and me have a history. He was dissing me way before this thread was created. I don't mind an opinion but I do gotta wonder wtf someone problem us if they're randomly dissing and throwing shots for no real reason.

 

[rareboy]

Trust me on this.

Really.

Trust me.

I am not randomly dissing you.

As I do in all the threads I bother to respond to, I am offering honest, unvarnished, heartlfelt opinions and advice.

What you see as dissing, I see as a stark and blunt reality check on the anti-social behaviour and hate rantings of a person in deep despair.

Enough is enough.

I want you to be happy.

But all I see is someone who is angry and tormented....not by your own behaviour...but always by what someone else is doing that you don't approve of.

I understand that you have emotional and mental health challenges.

I am offering you a way to be more content and accepting of the world and yourself.

Please.

Accept it.

 

[Telstra]

According to his username name refujiunderground (refugee underground),
maybe he is an illegal immigrant and has no where to go ?

 

[mikey3000]

I think there is a difference between being a "slut" and indiscriminate sexual behavior. Personally I love down and dirty sex, either with my partner(s) or in a group setting with trusted acquaintances. But when that behavior becomes compulsive and addictive, then there is a problem. Any addiction, either alcohol, drug or sex should not be celebrated and rewarded, but should be considered the mental health issue it is and treatment should be sought.

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

But we aren't talking about addiction here.

 

[SaskGuy]

I think there is a difference between being a "slut" and indiscriminate sexual behavior. Personally I love down and dirty sex, either with my partner(s) or in a group setting with trusted acquaintances. But when that behavior becomes compulsive and addictive, then there is a problem. Any addiction, either alcohol, drug or sex should not be celebrated and rewarded, but should be considered the mental health issue it is and treatment should be sought.

Yea, some people seem to think "slut" just means having sex, or they incorrectly call themselves raging sluts when they really aren't.

Drugs are another example. There's a difference between someone who drinks alcohol in social settings or smokes pot sometimes, and someone who spends all their time slamming meth.