"Slut shaming" gay men or men for that matter. Does it exists?

[refujiunderground]

This all applies to the straight community as well. Some people are judgmental about not having sex and some are judgmental about casual sex or being a slut. Both need to get off their high horses and let people do what they want if they aren't hurting one another.

I'm tired of folks constantly trying to make excuses to avoid talking about themselves by talking about straight people do it too. What straight people gotta do with you? Folks always wanna avoid the issue instead of addressing it.

Man.... being gay shouldn't be a calling card to make excuses behind bullshit. People eventually get tired of it and will hold you accountable for your shit. That's real.

 

[refujiunderground]

Let's give two scenarios.

Jim wants to wait until marriage to have sex.

Jerry gets to sleep with hot guys all the time and a new one each week.

Which one is more likely to be ridiculed and ostracized?

Let's be real. Having casual sex is the norm in the gay community while not having sex and not talking about sex is more "weird" or lame or abnormal or whatever you want to call it.

Thank you. I know what I'm talking about. It's funny how folks be all trying to make folks to be crazy when they say real shit. Theres is a difference between victimization and criticism.

Being gay doesn't get you any more or less privileges than anybody else in life. Shit isnt going to get you a pass for whatever.

 

[refujiunderground]

Are you really that dense?

People who have been pro slutty behaviour have been using 'getting tested', 'visiting clinics', and 'popping pills' beforehand to 'keep them safe/clean' as their 'get out of shame free' card all the way through this thread.

This is all about health and risky behaviour.

Exactly. What's funnier is how monogamy and relationships are frowned down on. The high level of open relationships and marriages. Give me a break.

Me personally, Im selfish. I don't share myself with just anybody. It amazes me to see how many guys seem to expect to know what love is BUT they simply have no limits or boundaries when it comes to who they share their intimacy with. For real... like how do you expect to find or know what love is if you're fucking everybody. There has to be a code. Folks don't wanna have one and then wonder why they aren't happy or simply don't know what love is. Shit doesn't happen over night.

Personally I think that promiscuity is not healthy.

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

I'm tired of folks constantly trying to make excuses to avoid talking about themselves by talking about straight people do it too. What straight people gotta do with you? Folks always wanna avoid the issue instead of addressing it.

Man.... being gay shouldn't be a calling card to make excuses behind bullshit. People eventually get tired of it and will hold you accountable for your shit. That's real.

You keep talking about what's real, but I haven't seen anything real come from you. My point about straight people stands because it seems like people try to hold the gay community in some different standard as if we're supposed to be better or are better, or we should be examples or some shit. It's unrealistic expectation, the fact of the matter is we're just like everyone else when it comes to people. We can just as fickle, picky, hateful, judgmental as the next guy/girl in the next community. So it never makes sense to me to single out gay people in some behavior as if they're supposed to be some sort of representatives.

No on here is making excuses. You're just reading it that way because it doesn't agree with what you're saying. Which is the only real thing going on in this thread, your inability to listen or consider another point of view. You have your mind set and all you want is a podium to stand on and people agreeing with you.

Thank you. I know what I'm talking about. It's funny how folks be all trying to make folks to be crazy when they say real shit.

Sorry, but you come off as someone who spends to much time in their head and at their keyboards. It makes me wonder if you actually even spend time with people or make an attempt to find people you can enjoy your time with. It is hard to believe that with all the animosity behind your posts.

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

Exactly. What's funnier is how monogamy and relationships are frowned down on. The high level of open relationships and marriages. Give me a break.

Me personally, Im selfish. I don't share myself with just anybody. It amazes me to see how many guys seem to expect to know what love is BUT they simply have no limits or boundaries when it comes to who they share their intimacy with. For real... like how do you expect to find or know what love is if you're fucking everybody. There has to be a code. Folks don't wanna have one and then wonder why they aren't happy or simply don't know what love is. Shit doesn't happen over night.

Personally I think that promiscuity is not healthy.

This further proves my point that you really don't know shit about people. Plenty of people on here speak of how much they had sex when they were younger and plenty of them talk about how they're in long term relationships now. My partner had promiscuous sex and also was capable having relationships. He has been in a relationship with me for 10 years.

You show a lack of knowledge when it comes to this subject and makes your posts look even more foolish.

 

[Telstra]

Exactly. What's funnier is how monogamy and relationships are frowned down on. The high level of open relationships and marriages. Give me a break.

Me personally, Im selfish. I don't share myself with just anybody. It amazes me to see how many guys seem to expect to know what love is BUT they simply have no limits or boundaries when it comes to who they share their intimacy with. For real... like how do you expect to find or know what love is if you're fucking everybody. There has to be a code. Folks don't wanna have one and then wonder why they aren't happy or simply don't know what love is. Shit doesn't happen over night.

Personally I think that promiscuity is not healthy.

Bullshit,
i support their happy lives until their old age but do not interfere ....

 

[Kahaih]

Lots of people talk about doing loads of drugs in their younger/college years and how they wouldn't be interested in doing drugs now, as an adult, too.

It's called growing up – coming to one's senses.

While most people are mature enough and concerned enough about younger people to advise against such risky behaviours, others are far too terrified to ever admit that what they did, what they got themselves into, when they were younger, was just plain stupid – them being just plain stupid and mentally fucked up/damaged.

 

[refujiunderground]

You keep talking about what's real, but I haven't seen anything real come from you. My point about straight people stands because it seems like people try to hold the gay community in some different standard as if we're supposed to be better or are better, or we should be examples or some shit. It's unrealistic expectation, the fact of the matter is we're just like everyone else when it comes to people. We can just as fickle, picky, hateful, judgmental as the next guy/girl in the next community. So it never makes sense to me to single out gay people in some behavior as if they're supposed to be some sort of representatives.

No on here is making excuses. You're just reading it that way because it doesn't agree with what you're saying. Which is the only real thing going on in this thread, your inability to listen or consider another point of view. You have your mind set and all you want is a podium to stand on and people agreeing with you.



Sorry, but you come off as someone who spends to much time in their head and at their keyboards. It makes me wonder if you actually even spend time with people or make an attempt to find people you can enjoy your time with. It is hard to believe that with all the animosity behind your posts.

Excuse me. You sound like one of those gay guys that lives on the web talking shit about other gay people that you never will meet that's probably gets the love and respect that your bitch ass wish you can get.

I am keeping it real to my motherfucking self. What about you? You sound like one of those dudes busy trying to fit in as if you're in high school when you're a grown ass man that should be doing whatever you wanna do without asking the next man for approval or a goddamn cookie.

I really don't give a fuck if you like what I say or not. Tough shit. I know you hate it when folks are NOT going with the program as if every gay person has to be a certain way in order to be proud of being gay. Keep your Muppet ass out my goddamn lane. I don't have to approve of everything someone does because they're gay. NOR DO I HAVE TO FOLLOW OR DO WHAT OTHER GAY GUYS ARE DOING TO BE COOL. I don't have to sleep around. I don't have to have sex even. I don't have to like pop artists and etc. Being gay doesn't mean I should stop being me or live how I want to live or have a contrary opinion against what's acceptable to gay men. That's what the real problem is. The thing that gets me is that the things that we shouldn't even be tolerating or should be giving fucking pep talks with are the things we condone or celebrate thinking that shit is fucking cool or the way it's supposed. But yet when shit goes bad and people suffer the effects from that shit, folks are like we need to do something or blaming or being in denial like slut shaming until something bad happens like another AIDS epidemic. Then look at everyone wanting to get their shit straight.

So gtfoh with your shit, fucker.

 

[mikemizanin729]

Lmao.

 

[refujiunderground]

To add on.


I don't get why some guys feel the need to even put themselves out there that they aint even dealing with. No one has to know what your sex life looks like. It's your business. The only exception is the people that you choose to involve in your sex life if it's something pertaining to them. If you're sleeping around or if you have a std, they should know.

You got all these dudes constantly putting themselves out there for the world to see. Putting their preferences, sex stories and etc for an opinion from other people then cry when they don't receive the responses that they want. It's like these narcissists on instagram that a bunch of people find attractive takes 100 selfies that blocks some guy that thinks they're an attention whore or doesn't give them that you're hot comment that they want.

You don't gotta tell people that you ain't fucking who you're fucking if you think that they're going to shit on you.

 

[Cormac135]

Lots of people talk about doing loads of drugs in their younger/college years and how they wouldn't be interested in doing drugs now, as an adult, too.

It's called growing up – coming to one's senses.

While most people are mature enough and concerned enough about younger people to advise against such risky behaviours, others are far too terrified to ever admit that what they did, what they got themselves into, when they were younger, was just plain stupid – them being just plain stupid and mentally fucked up/damaged.

Not to stereotype in any way but this whole thread screams.

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

Excuse me. You sound like one of those gay guys that lives on the web talking shit about other gay people that you never will meet that's probably gets the love and respect that your bitch ass wish you can get.

Not at all, I have a life and am completely happy with it. I get along with plenty of people on here as well as real life. I have also met plenty of other gay people in real life who are nothing like what you describe and keep trying to perpetuate are a problem.

I am keeping it real to my motherfucking self. What about you? You sound like one of those dudes busy trying to fit in as if you're in high school when you're a grown ass man that should be doing whatever you wanna do without asking the next man for approval or a goddamn cookie.

I don't worry about fitting it because that would be boring. I very much enjoy what I do in my life and do what I want when I want.

I really don't give a fuck if you like what I say or not. Tough shit. I know you hate it when folks are NOT going with the program as if every gay person has to be a certain way in order to be proud of being gay.

Actually this is not me at all, I am completely fine with how people want to be as long as they don't think everyone should be the same and held to the same standards. As long as they also aren't trying to hurt themselves or someone else either. Again, which was being pointed out before, this is you projecting.

Keep your Muppet ass out my goddamn lane. I don't have to approve of everything someone does because they're gay. NOR DO I HAVE TO FOLLOW OR DO WHAT OTHER GAY GUYS ARE DOING TO BE COOL. I don't have to sleep around. I don't have to have sex even. I don't have to like pop artists and etc. Being gay doesn't mean I should stop being me or live how I want to live or have a contrary opinion against what's acceptable to gay men.

No one is saying you have to do anything, but I find it funny that you shouldn't have to stop being you but you judge people because they don't meet your own moral standards.

That's what the real problem is. The thing that gets me is that the things that we shouldn't even be tolerating or should be giving fucking pep talks with are the things we condone or celebrate thinking that shit is fucking cool or the way it's supposed. But yet when shit goes bad and people suffer the effects from that shit, folks are like we need to do something or blaming or being in denial like slut shaming until something bad happens like another AIDS epidemic. Then look at everyone wanting to get their shit straight.

So gtfoh with your shit, fucker.

Again, what you think shouldn't be tolerated is based on your on moral standard that is misguided. You clearly think promiscuity is wrong and not healthy based on the fact that it is not healthy for you. Just because something doesn't work or feel right for you, doesn't mean that goes for everyone. You assume that people who sleep around don't know what love is or are throwing around their intimacy, but again what you view as intimate is not what someone else finds intimate.

Clearly I struck a nerve, but honestly I don't care. I get tired of reading preachy stuff no matter where it comes from, where people expect that people should work adhering to the way they think and feel. If you want to be judgmental that is all well and fine, but don't get all flippant on people because you don't like the responses you get from being that way.

 

[pat grimshaw]

. . .

 

[refujiunderground]

Not at all, I have a life and am completely happy with it. I get along with plenty of people on here as well as real life. I have also met plenty of other gay people in real life who are nothing like what you describe and keep trying to perpetuate are a problem.



I don't worry about fitting it because that would be boring. I very much enjoy what I do in my life and do what I want when I want.



Actually this is not me at all, I am completely fine with how people want to be as long as they don't think everyone should be the same and held to the same standards. As long as they also aren't trying to hurt themselves or someone else either. Again, which was being pointed out before, this is you projecting.



No one is saying you have to do anything, but I find it funny that you shouldn't have to stop being you but you judge people because they don't meet your own moral standards.



Again, what you think shouldn't be tolerated is based on your on moral standard that is misguided. You clearly think promiscuity is wrong and not healthy based on the fact that it is not healthy for you. Just because something doesn't work or feel right for you, doesn't mean that goes for everyone. You assume that people who sleep around don't know what love is or are throwing around their intimacy, but again what you view as intimate is not what someone else finds intimate.

Clearly I struck a nerve, but honestly I don't care. I get tired of reading preachy stuff no matter where it comes from, where people expect that people should work adhering to the way they think and feel. If you want to be judgmental that is all well and fine, but don't get all flippant on people because you don't like the responses you get from being that way.

Look, breh. A lot of shit people do is what they have learned from other people in terms of what is socially acceptable. Nowadays it's about following to fit in in opposed to being yourself.

Heres another brutal reality that is also bring denied. Many gay men basically as soon as they come out the closet jump into a bigger closet where they have to conform to norms set by other gay men in terms of what is seen as being gay and proud. So as a gay man, a guy is already getting pressured to conform. Many guys are basically taught or learn about how to live their lives as gay men by the world around them. If someone goes against the grain, then they are seen as being ashamed of who they are. Coming out the closet as a gay man should only be a one time thing without having to jump back into one. Sex is one of the things that has been used for this concept. We all know that you don't have to have sex to know that you're gay or to be proud of your sexuality. Yet sex is constantly used as some sort of power or self esteem boost. Many guys go to the gym for this reason. It's not used as a form of pleasure or a way to connect with your partner. People also tend to ask... "how do you know that you're gay if you've never had sex" and even if you do, they expect you to enjoy it. Often guys have to basically change their standards and except certain norms which they probably wouldn't have if they were straight. Gay marriage for example is not seen as a thing that a lot of gay guys really would shoot for though it's now an opinion. Dudes are way too used to the idea of getting around and having options instead of settling them and staying with someone even momentarily for a time. This attitude is encouraged as well. It's funny how we say being gay is no different than being straight yet we try so hard to be different.

My frustration comes in because we have people that don't know better expecting everyone to be a damn slut or promiscuous because it's the gay thing to be. We get mad when homophobes stereotype us saying that gay people are sex addicts and sleep around but yet amongst each other, we do that shit. Its often a common used insult for gay guys to make fun of someone not being attractive where people wanna fuck them or for someone to not have the body for sex. Way too many gay men boil down homosexuality to being about sex when it is more than that. People get shamed when they say they are virgins and desire finding someone that they love instead of running out there and finding someone to pop their cherry. I've seen that happen and even by the subject to such by other men when I say that I've never fucked anybody before. For a lot of guys it was seen as a bad thing.

I get annoyed because personally, I feel that guys are personally being forced to do this shit and shamed if they aren't doing it or supporting other people that do it. If you don't believe me, you can look at all the money being generated from it since it has become a fucking business. Grindr, scruff, jacked, these drug companies like PreP, andrew christian and all these companies have made a business off of gay sex culture. They want us to be sex addicts. It puts money in their pockets and yet sadly, folks don't realize theyre being pimped. They would much rather see gay guys sleeping around, get sick with hiv and then spend our lives all fucked up than for us to be partnered up. They lose money when gay people get partnered up. The most they can do is throw a commercial having a gay couple trying to show how they're not homophobic to get our money.

There's way too many traps out here.

 

[mikemizanin729]

 

[MorrisseyX]

Because everyone is NOT like me.

Guys say they are negative because they don't have any symptoms, but have never been tested or haven't been tested recently. If you are going to play, you must get tested regularly. Of course I'm excluding monogamous relationships.

Then there are the guys who are on meds, but don't take them as prescribed. To reach the highest efficacy, the meds must be taken everyday.

Again, everyone is not like me. I get tested every three months and take prEP everyday.

I am HIV positive and you are slightly incorrect about the HIV dosage.
On the issue if HIV meds no it is not true you do NOT have to take them every single day. If you miss a dose once in a while this is fine. You are not going to die by talking the HIV meds six days out of the week and forget to take it Friday night. You just have to take the meds consistently as much as possible. It is true you got to be consistent though. The meds will not work if you are taking the pills say only three days or four days a week and consistently missing dosages. You also need a good schedule to remember taking the pill. I take my pill at night right before I go to bed it helps me remember. But you can miss a doseage here or there.
And some men lie I think guys should assume every man they meet are positive and use protection. I also think people on Prep are ignoring other STIS you can get hepatitis or syphilis by barebacking. There are other STIs people are forgetting about.

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

Ugh, I am giving up. You keep going on what is "real" but again you don't exactly seem to know what is "real." You are talking out your ass way too much and it is getting boring. You don't want to listen to people or hear out other opinions, I'll just let you go on looking like the fool that you are who thinks he knows his shit.

 

[refujiunderground]

Ugh, I am giving up. You keep going on what is "real" but again you don't exactly seem to know what is "real." You are talking out your ass way too much and it is getting boring. You don't want to listen to people or hear out other opinions, I'll just let you go on looking like the fool that you are who thinks he knows his shit.

Good. You can't shame me for not agreeing with that promiscuous lifestyle, sex is the main purpose of gay life notion. There's not enough balance is it is.

 

[sixthson]

. . .

Because so many only want to talk and very few want to try to understand what someone else is saying that it has to devolve into a purse fight. Typical of the world at large, too.

 

[TheLoveableLoner]

Good. You can't shame me for not agreeing with that promiscuous lifestyle, sex is the main purpose of gay life notion. There's not enough balance is it is.

I'm sorry my friend, but these blanket statements about the gay community simply aren't true.