"Slut shaming" gay men or men for that matter. Does it exists?

[mikemizanin729]

According to his username name refujiunderground (refugee underground),
maybe he is an illegal immigrant and has no where to go ?

 

[mbamike]

I'm PROUD to be a Gay

I worked hard for that title!

 

[mikey3000]

But we aren't talking about addiction here.

So what are we talking about then, loose sexual morals or sexual promiscuity?

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

Loose sexual morals? What? Morals only exist in sex because we as people feel the need to apply them to sex.

This thread is about "slut shaming", about judging people because of the amount of sex they have with people. Judging them because they don't follow the same moral code that one feel they should follow because one feels their moral code is correct and they are wrong. Making them feel like they are bad and wrong because of whatever bullshit reason people need to come up with to justify their judgments.

It has nothing to do with addiction, that is a totally different topic and if people were judging people that had addiction problems they would be bigger dicks than they are now when just judging people that have more sex than they do.

 

[MorrisseyX]

Slut shaming of gay men is indeed real and I think a lot of it has to due with jealousy of straight men. Gay men get blamed if they have an STI by straight society especially if it is HIV. Heterosexual women prohibit straight men from having as much sex as they want. Sure, there might be a few liberal women out there but usually a straight man who is not a celebrity has to work to get a woman in bed. He has to wine and dine her, be nice ect, instead of just being honest. However, gay men getting sex is easy, a gay man can go to a bathhouse get sex easily no strings. Or even online, I just think since gay men are men a barrier is broken and people understand usually the difference between love and sex. In the straight world straight guys have to look for a hooker if they want NSA fun.

 

[mikemizanin729]

The irony of you saying that when there's been more than enough people that have seen you all waltzing in on some insult shit for no reason. You love to do that on here to other people too. Don't try to pin your shit on me either.

Don't try to act like you didn't come in here dissing and when I didn't do what you WANTED me to do where you looked silly with your disses for all to see which I didn't entertain, you then finally added to the discussion trying to be civil. You are not slick.

 

[Cormac135]

Indeed i think for once rareboy has got it spot on.

 

[refujiunderground]

Trust me on this.

Really.

Trust me.

I am not randomly dissing you.

As I do in all the threads I bother to respond to, I am offering honest, unvarnished, heartlfelt opinions and advice.

What you see as dissing, I see as a stark and blunt reality check on the anti-social behaviour and hate rantings of a person in deep despair.

Enough is enough.

I want you to be happy.

But all I see is someone who is angry and tormented....not by your own behaviour...but always by what someone else is doing that you don't approve of.

I understand that you have emotional and mental health challenges.

I am offering you a way to be more content and accepting of the world and yourself.

Please.

Accept it.

You really shouldn't speak on people you have absolutely no clue of at all. You should try to stop living through the Internet like half of these guys. That's another problem. Way too many gay guys live on the web instead of living out in the world. It makes them delusional. They put themselves out there without people asking them shit and they cry when people don't give them the feedback what they want or react the way they want them to. It's like all these gay guys that have boyfriends and husbands constantly taking pics of themselves naked or knowing they're partnered still looking for sex and another guy to give them attention crying about slut shaming. Please. It's another case of gay men creating problems for themselves that can be avoided.


I bet you really think that your words directed towards me hold some sort of power when all I have to do is pay you no attention. I think that would bother you more than me arguing with you.

 

[mikemizanin729]

You really shouldn't speak on people you have absolutely no clue of at all. You should try to stop living through the Internet like half of these guys. That's another problem. Way too many gay guys live on the web instead of living out in the world. It makes them delusional. They put themselves out there without people asking them shit and they cry when people don't give them the feedback what they want or react the way they want them to. It's like all these gay guys that have boyfriends and husbands constantly taking pics of themselves naked or knowing they're partnered still looking for sex and another guy to give them attention crying about slut shaming. Please. It's another case of gay men creating problems for themselves that can be avoided.


I bet you really think that your words directed towards me hold some sort of power when all I have to do is pay you no attention. I think that would bother you more than me arguing with you.

 

[eastofeden]

You really shouldn't speak on people you have absolutely no clue of at all. You should try to stop living through the Internet like half of these guys. That's another problem. Way too many gay guys live on the web instead of living out in the world. It makes them delusional. They put themselves out there without people asking them shit and they cry when people don't give them the feedback what they want or react the way they want them to. It's like all these gay guys that have boyfriends and husbands constantly taking pics of themselves naked or knowing they're partnered still looking for sex and another guy to give them attention crying about slut shaming. Please. It's another case of gay men creating problems for themselves that can be avoided.


I bet you really think that your words directed towards me hold some sort of power when all I have to do is pay you no attention. I think that would bother you more than me arguing with you.

I do like you refuji...and if you want to slam me for saying this..I understand...but you need to re-read this above and let it sink in...especially the part I highlighted. You are projecting.

The best advice I ever got in my life was tough to hear...and I was tempted to shoot the messenger.....

 

[rareboy]

You really shouldn't speak on people you have absolutely no clue of at all. You should try to stop living through the Internet like half of these guys. That's another problem. Way too many gay guys live on the web instead of living out in the world. It makes them delusional. They put themselves out there without people asking them shit and they cry when people don't give them the feedback what they want or react the way they want them to. It's like all these gay guys that have boyfriends and husbands constantly taking pics of themselves naked or knowing they're partnered still looking for sex and another guy to give them attention crying about slut shaming. Please. It's another case of gay men creating problems for themselves that can be avoided.


I bet you really think that your words directed towards me hold some sort of power when all I have to do is pay you no attention. I think that would bother you more than me arguing with you.

The problem is that I doubt if you are even capable of really understanding what it is that you are writing here.

As I noted, this has become an obsession for you. So let me break it down for you.

You really shouldn't speak on people you have absolutely no clue of at all.

No. You should not. You do this in every venting post or thread you make. This thread is a perfect example.

You should try to stop living through the Internet like half of these guys.

You need to stop this. We know you took a small break from the entire web because some people ruined it for you. How can that even happen unless your life is so totally defined and centred around the web. Don't worry about me. I've got what I want and need out of life without living on the web. For me, the web is just casual distraction from about three other things I'm doing at the same time.

It makes them delusional.

This is what concerns me about this thread. It seems to be be founded on a delusional hypothesis you have concocted and argued with delusional logic..

They put themselves out there without people asking them shit and they cry when people don't give them the feedback what they want or react the way they want them to.

....and we're back to this post. You asked people shit and then are crying when you haven't got the feedback that (not 'what') you wanted.

It's like all these gay guys that have boyfriends and husbands constantly taking pics of themselves naked or knowing they're partnered still looking for sex and another guy to give them attention crying about slut shaming.

I don't know what to do with this. Because it isn't anything at all like partnered guys taking naked pics of themselves naked or looking for sex or attention crying about slut shaming. I'm honestly trying to figure out what is going on in your thought process with this statement in respect to this thread.

If they are not in an open relationship, they are looking to cheat on their partner. In this respect, they are no different than all the straight men (and women) who are doing the same thing. And what they are doing isn't necessarily being slutty...only morally untidy....if they are serial cheaters, then they have you to brand them with a scarlet 'A' for adulterer.

But what you are doing is moving the goalposts of the entire thread. The original question was whether homo slut shaming exists. We demonstrated to you that it does...because you are a perfect example of someone doing it. It had nothing to do at the outset with partnered guys cheating and then complaining about being slut shamed, although, if you have been on line grinding your gears about their behaviour...I can see where some might call it that.


So. To the point. You can pay attention. Or not pay attention. It is clear after years of you running the same worn out complaints about sexually promiscuous gay men up the flag pole here that you pay no attention to what I or anyone else says. I can guarantee you, in fact, that within the week, you will be posting the same type of venting rant about other guys' sexual behaviour and how it is up to you to call them out on it...and will apparently have no recollection that you have posted this same rant at least 20 times within the last 12 months.

I offer this advice for you, in order that you might find your own happiness and emotional balance.

Stop worrying and always judging what everyone else around you is doing. Focus only on what you are doing and how it affects others. Spend all of your time being the best person you can be and stop obsessing about what others are doing. If you don't like their behaviour, stop associating with them. Search out only those people that have the same interests and life goals and superior behavioural standards that you believe you possess.

Instead of spending 24 hours a day being angry year after year, break the cycle and create actual happiness for yourself. Because if you don't do it soon....you have a terribly long adulthood to spend as a bitter and angry man and I am afraid that one day, your rage is going to just boil over.

 

[refujiunderground]

The problem is that I doubt if you are even capable of really understanding what it is that you are writing here.

As I noted, this has become an obsession for you. So let me break it down for you.


No. You should not. You do this in every venting post or thread you make. This thread is a perfect example.


You need to stop this. We know you took a small break from the entire web because some people ruined it for you. How can that even happen unless your life is so totally defined and centred around the web. Don't worry about me. I've got what I want and need out of life without living on the web. For me, the web is just casual distraction from about three other things I'm doing at the same time.


This is what concerns me about this thread. It seems to be be founded on a delusional hypothesis you have concocted and argued with delusional logic..


....and we're back to this post. You asked people shit and then are crying when you haven't got the feedback that (not 'what') you wanted.


I don't know what to do with this. Because it isn't anything at all like partnered guys taking naked pics of themselves naked or looking for sex or attention crying about slut shaming. I'm honestly trying to figure out what is going on in your thought process with this statement in respect to this thread.

If they are not in an open relationship, they are looking to cheat on their partner. In this respect, they are no different than all the straight men (and women) who are doing the same thing. And what they are doing isn't necessarily being slutty...only morally untidy....if they are serial cheaters, then they have you to brand them with a scarlet 'A' for adulterer.

But what you are doing is moving the goalposts of the entire thread. The original question was whether homo slut shaming exists. We demonstrated to you that it does...because you are a perfect example of someone doing it. It had nothing to do at the outset with partnered guys cheating and then complaining about being slut shamed, although, if you have been on line grinding your gears about their behaviour...I can see where some might call it that.


So. To the point. You can pay attention. Or not pay attention. It is clear after years of you running the same worn out complaints about sexually promiscuous gay men up the flag pole here that you pay no attention to what I or anyone else says. I can guarantee you, in fact, that within the week, you will be posting the same type of venting rant about other guys' sexual behaviour and how it is up to you to call them out on it...and will apparently have no recollection that you have posted this same rant at least 20 times within the last 12 months.

I offer this advice for you, in order that you might find your own happiness and emotional balance.

Stop worrying and always judging what everyone else around you is doing. Focus only on what you are doing and how it affects others. Spend all of your time being the best person you can be and stop obsessing about what others are doing. If you don't like their behaviour, stop associating with them. Search out only those people that have the same interests and life goals and superior behavioural standards that you believe you possess.

Instead of spending 24 hours a day being angry year after year, break the cycle and create actual happiness for yourself. Because if you don't do it soon....you have a terribly long adulthood to spend as a bitter and angry man and I am afraid that one day, your rage is going to just boil over.

No, you're the one fucking up my thread with your slick shit lIke what you've been doing for the past fucking 4 to 5 years. You ain't a shrink or some head doctor so fuck your stupid mind analysis that you love to do to make yourself look good on some pathetic booster upper shit and me to look all crazy like how you and some of these sorry soiled individuals love to do on the web in these places where you can be whatever you can't be offline.

What I'm sick and tired of is how I can't simply have an opinion or say whatever I feel like saying without someone like you trying to come up. I'm not the one, breh. You should know that by now. Your post ain't about a genuine concern but to basically do the same blanket pussy ass attempt at cyberbullying thinking you're hurting somebody's feelings or going to make them your bitch. I see through your act. If it ain't me, it's another poster you fuck with. I seen how you were all fucking with zombiekiller doing the same damn thing getting him to bite but folks saw how you were being an old hag.


If you were really concerned, your ass would have hit me up on the pm instead of trying to ruin my threads and posting slick insults like what you usually do. To make refuji, a man you don't even know, appear crazy on a message board full of strangers for whatever reason. I'm tired of guys like you constantly overstepping your bounds trying to get involved in affairs of lives that ain't yours where you tell me how I'm crazy, I'm going to snap and all of this bullshit. You've been saying the same shit for 5 years. Shouldn't I have a goddamn criminal record right now? I think I can express myself without being fucking demonized or have guys like you looking for someone to say that you're better than. No matter what happens, I still won't be fucking good enough to meet your standards so that's one reason why I really don't care to change my tune.

Before I would have responded on some peaceful shit but now I realize that no fucking matter which way I was post, you will always be fishing for some shit to start because you need someone to make your arrogant ass feel good with. Yeah, I'm saying this as someone who has seen your shit for 5 years.

 

[rareboy]

Well as long as you feel better and have that out of your system....we'll all just wait for you to make the exact same thread again in the next week or so, or post the same rants about the problem with all the gay guys except you.....

Again...I draw your attention to:

I'm tired of guys like you constantly overstepping your bounds trying to get involved in affairs of lives that ain't yours

As I said. Focus on fixing yourself and being the model person you want everyone else to be.

Ignore everything else.

 

[rareboy]

Oh.

And grow the fuck up.

None of us care one way or the other that you have an opinion. You are entitled to them. But you demonstrate again and again that the only opinion that you think matters on any of the few (one) subject(s) you raise on this board is yours.

And it isn't an opinion as much as just constant anger expressed against everyone else in the world.

Is there anyone either on-line or in the real world that you actually like?

If so, spend more time with them.

 

[refujiunderground]

Well as long as you feel better and have that out of your system....we'll all just wait for you to make the exact same thread again in the next week or so, or post the same rants about the problem with all the gay guys except you.....

Again...I draw your attention to:



As I said. Focus on fixing yourself and being the model person you want everyone else to be.

Ignore everything else.

I made a thread about slut shaming because I saw a you tube video on it by some therapist that wants to be a vlogger on the subject so I came here to talk about it.

The thread where I was posting my feelings and etc is a fucking venting thread. That's the intended purpose. To bitch, whine, complain, cry and etc. Lefty (RIP) pitched the idea to me because he saw how some other members like yourself were tired of me spilling my negativity in other people's threads so I took it to there instead.


I personally vent on whatever is on my mind but one thing that I do not feel comfortable with to be quite honest is being studied on some shit. There's a reason why I don't post my picture. If you feel that you can be of help, the pm is your friend. Otherwise, when you're doing it in threads lIke these on some psychologist shit assuming things about why I made the thread like how you claimed that I was a virgin and not getting any love and am bitter about it where I want to be promiscuous and shit. Then you're overstepping your bounds.


On the real, I do agree with slut shaming among gay men simply because of how HIV and AIDS and stds is still rampant and being passed around. This is due to attitudes and social norms that is being acceptable such as the whole take Prep and have unprotected sex. Promiscuity among gay men is a public health concern due to that.

As a guy who cares about his health, it's my responsibility. So of course, I'm gonna be on some careful shit as much as I can especially out here where you can't trust anybody. I've ran into way too many reckless dudes that don't give a fuck and that alone has made me not even try to go that route. I would rather bd in a relationship instead. That sleeping around shit seems to me seems soulless and empty. I mean I've literally have ran into a few guys that have HIV looking to spread that shit through misinformation and wanting to be promiscuous. They were so desperate that they were willing to lie and say all sorts of shit so i would jump in bed with them. These guys all advocating for barebacking, saying PreP and low viral loads. Not hating on guys with hiv but the fact that a few dudes were prepositioning me to have unprotected sex with them when they had HIV scares the shit out of me. I could only imagine how many that I've ran across that have who knows what looking for fun and going like... "let me get this guy right here". So yeah, of course, I'm paranoid and cant understand why anybody who's gay that has to deal with this wouldn't be. I've seen way too many of that shit. Guys too proud to have a body count until they end up getting a sick dick.

Don't know about you guys but damn, getting tested is fucking nerve-racking. I don't know who would want to have a body count and all not be scared as shit at the clinic. It's unsettling.

 

[mikemizanin729]

^ To be fair, I've seen you mention pretty much the same stuff you do from the venting thread in tons of other threads.

 

[NotHardUp1]

It's also entirely possible to disagree with promiscuity without shaming it.

I disagree with conspicuous consumption, but I don't shame those flaunting wealth with wearing status symbols.

I disagree with people who treat children as adults, or animals as humans, but it doesn't mean I shame them.

It's possible to see an issue 180 degrees from your neighbor without it becoming a source of contempt or some other website. I've lived among conservatives (socially, politically, religiously) without having to become enemies over it. The greater ill is believing you can live in a monoculture ideologically. That's not many degrees away from the thinking of terrorists.

 

[refujiunderground]

It's also entirely possible to disagree with promiscuity without shaming it.

I disagree with conspicuous consumption, but I don't shame those flaunting wealth with wearing status symbols.

I disagree with people who treat children as adults, or animals as humans, but it doesn't mean I shame them.

It's possible to see an issue 180 degrees from your neighbor without it becoming a source of contempt or some other website. I've lived among conservatives (socially, politically, religiously) without having to become enemies over it. The greater ill is believing you can live in a monoculture ideologically. That's not many degrees away from the thinking of terrorists.

I agree but realistically, it all boils down accountability especially when it comes to ones health if it affects the public health at large. It's like ebola or any infectious disease. It would be one thing if people could be open about it and be responsible. Guys getting tested regularly, people taking preventative measures and etc. However, this is NOT happening on a wide scale at all. Obviously the fact that there are still a high number of new hiv cases and on top of that, the levels of std cases aren't lowering shows that something isn't clicking. I've seen young guys who gotta be like in their early to mid 20's admitting that they've done barebacking. Some of them with causal hookups because they think they can't get sick or whatever. When you have those types of attitudes where these guys have fun, don't get tested as they should, engage in risky behaviors, drug abuse for some even where they use needles and slamming, and etc. These guys also intend to settle down at some point.


Basically, there's too many irresponsible people engaging in risky behavior who are poorly educated that are spreading diseases. Promiscuity is one of the big reasons why this is going on. Hate to say it but it's true.

I just think that folks are running from reality.

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

Unsafe sex is why, not promiscuity. People do practice it as much as you like to perpetuate otherwise to fit your agenda.

 

[LuckysRevenge]

Let's give two scenarios.

Jim wants to wait until marriage to have sex.

Jerry gets to sleep with hot guys all the time and a new one each week.

Which one is more likely to be ridiculed and ostracized?

Let's be real. Having casual sex is the norm in the gay community while not having sex and not talking about sex is more "weird" or lame or abnormal or whatever you want to call it.