So I got called a "NIGGER" after rejecting a White guy.

[Beachguyj]

You took his bait. Don't engage an ignorant person in an online verbal spar next time.

 

[KURT10677]

I was thinking that the I'm into white guys just not into you comment is a bit harsh thats all. It certainly doesn't give him the right to say what he said. I think you should talk to people the way you want to be spoken to. I wouldn't like it if someone said that to me....nor would you I'd bet....

I have to agree with you on this one, after you said thanks you should of left it alone. Ive been on those hook up sites before and some of those guys say some real nasty shit, I never got called any names before but I stop contact right away with someone if I'm not interested, you cant please the world.

 

[Benvolio]

Of course, he was very wrong to use the word. By making a big deal of the word, African Americans give others an easy way to insult them and get under their skin. Yor emotional reaction is better than he could have hoped for.

 

[G-Lexington]

^ Yeah, it's like when someone calls me faggot. You get the sense that there's no weapons left in that arsenal...

Lex

 

[xRemyx]

lol, He clearly felt entitled.

In his mind, he's white so obviously he'd instantly be a catch for any POC.

Rejecting him is so uppity of you!

100% agree. This was the first thing that came to mind after reading the OP.

 

[CowboyBob]

For me it's just a mechanism of defence. He felt threatened by your rejection and choose the more offensive word he could think of, just to hurt you.

There is nothing wrong with you and you should really not sweat over it, it's the other person problem to not be able to handle simple rejection well.
He's an asshole, move on

Would he be a straight woman rejected by you, she would probably had say "faggot"

This here.

But the guy is an asshole. Unfortunately there's a lot of those around.

 

[Ganoderma]

Kane, good luck to you, but never ever let those type of online racist nut-cases get you down. Best of all, it was nice that you found out this guy's "true" colors up front Can you imagine if you met this guy and liked him, yet to one day to discover this guy is racist? (..). Wilson

^^^^^^ This.

Kane, there is nothing wrong with you, and I hope that you will soon find a nice guy.

Take care & best wishes.

 

[Nomenclature]

How was my response to him arrogant? He asked a question and I answered it.

I'm NOT defending this guy at all, but there's something about the "gay scene", and especially the hook-up scene: It's very racist. A lot of people will refuse to hook-up outside of their preferred race. You see a lot of white guys putting ads up saying "NO ASIANS"; you see a lot of Asian guys putting ads saying "OLDER WHITE MEN ONLY", and you see a lot of black guys only looking to hook up with other black guys. If you aren't the race they're looking for, they'll outright reject you simply based on your ethnic background.

So, maybe he's run into that a lot and he's frustrated. . .and stupid.

 

[unclaimedblessing]

I've never used one of those on line contact services so maybe I don't have the experience or right to comment.

However, I have always despised the 'N" word and other ethnic & religious pejoratives, and those who use them.

Rejection doesn't give him the right to use it either. I'm sure many are rejected for any number of reasons.
Aren't you glad and relieved that the ignorant, racist bastard showed his true colors before a possible relationship developed?

Sorry, if your feliings were hurt, you didn't deserve that.

 

[DigitalFudge]

^ Yeah, it's like when someone calls me faggot. You get the sense that there's no weapons left in that arsenal...

Lex

Perfect example.

 

[WestCoastWilson]

Well Guys, I want to toss one other thing out here. As a reminder, I’m black and I live in Los Angeles. Back in the 90's (before the internet) I once tried to date a white guy that lived in Oklahoma. He preferred gay black men. I absolutely adored this guy, he knocked me head over heals . . . I swear that I heard whistles, bells and saw fireworks EVERY TIME I was with him, saw pictures of him, read his letters, heard his voice on the phone. I was SMITTEN!!! Now I’m going to leave out a lot of the details here, and just say that we were open to a long distance relationship. Yet after getting to know this guy for about 5 months, he told me along the way that his parents were racist and they DID use the “n” word. At that point, I was between a rock and a hard place, as I had never “knowingly” dated a guy who’s family or friends were racist. By about the 6th month, he had dumped me , since it was apparent that I did not seem to fit “his ideal image” of the type of black man that he was seeking. Yet the one time that I went to Oklahoma to spend about 5 days with him there, he always seemed that he was embarrassed to be seen with me. Yet the times that we met outside of Oklahoma, he seemed to be comfortable and not ashamed to be seen with me. Yet luckily this guy dumped me, so I never had to deal with all of this, since these were all brand new issues of interracial dating that I never had to deal with before or since. WHEW!!!

Wilson

 

[AlmondMilk]

I think you should say something like "Thank you, but I'm not interested." I don't like it when someone says thank you then stops responding after I try to keep the conversation going. I mean, I'll eventually just give up, but there are those guys that disappear and come back continuously. So yeah. I'd rather someone say thanks but not interested either the reply or the second reply.

But I guess I'm just way off track here. Either way, his reply was uncalled for.

 

[JayHawk]

It has no place. Not just the racism. That is epidemic enough but I run into that attitude on gay date sites somewhat regularly. Some idiots can't accept rejection which simply further indicates they shouldn't be dating me or anyone else.

I would appreciate the hell out of you being straightforward and telling me not to waste my time.

 

[pat grimshaw]

…The only solid piece of advice I can give to you …/QUOTE]

The advice I give is don't use these silly tools to meet men. So many tell me it's a waste of time.

 

[bma1983]

Why do some white guys do this?

I was logged onto one of the known dating/hook up sites when I got a message from this guy who seemed nice at first, but quickly got angry when I rejected him.

He was 32 yrs old. Average looking.

He said "man you are Hot! How are you?". Even though I was not attracted to him, I always try to respond to people by atleast saying thank you once I recieve a compliment.

After saying thanks, I will no longer respond after the first message with the hope that the other person will catch the hint that I'm not interested and move on.

So after not responding to his subsequent messages, he writes "what's wrong? you're not into White guys?" I write back: Yes, I'm into White guys, I'm just not into "You"...

He responds: " cool, I'm not into stuck up arrogant niggers anyway"

Is this the defense some white men use when they are rejected by a person of color? That shit is so lame!

I'm black and this has happened to me before, but instead of nigger I was called "pickaninny." You read that right...pickaninny!

Anyway, three points:

Point One: I commend you for responding when someone pays you a compliment, even if you're not interested in them. People who ignore these kind of messages are jackasses.

Point Two: You were rude. You did not need to include "I'm just not into "You." Why add that? For me, whenever someone I'm not in to propositions me I try to come up with some reason why I can't meet them, like, "I'm just in the mood to meet anyone at the moment," or "I'm just on here looking at profiles." I do not go out of my way to insult people.

Point Three: The guy was a bastard with a racist streak. I would block him and forget he ever existed.

 

[pat grimshaw]

…The only solid piece of advice I can give to you …

The advice I give is don't use these silly tools to meet men. Go and meet them face-to-face. They are not a sensible way to communicate.

And so many tell me it's a waste of time.

 

[pat grimshaw]

I reckon it's hard enough to communicate on chatrooms and in JUB so I'm assuming it's much harder to do it on those sexlines. Most people I know look at it for idle amusement and rarely use them.

 

[bankside]

I love the guy's logic….

I'll call this black guy on his obvious racism toward all white people and then he will surely say 'Golly! You're right! I've been denying the handsomeness of white guys all these years but now that you've challenged me on it my eyes have been opened! You're really handsome, white guy, do I still have a chance???

and then

I can't believe he rejected me again after I opened his eyes about his self-evident racism! Now he's pretending it's just me instead of all white people. You know what, maybe David Duke was right!!! I'll call him a name and then you watch, he'll come crawling back to me because Now. He'll. Know. What. It. Feels like. I'm so smart! He's totally into me! He just doesn't know it yet.

lesson is, you don't need a permit to use the internet...

 

[pat grimshaw]

RazorzEdge88, are you saying it is a good method of meeting men? The OP is adding to all the negative accounts I've heard.

 

[pat grimshaw]

How about some positive feedback