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So I got called a "NIGGER" after rejecting a White guy.

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Death @ what I wanted to contribute to this thread but couldn't articulate.

I also wanna add that I didn't really like the comments in this thread that suggested Kane could have avoided it if he had been "nicer" in his let down. To me that just implies an excuse for the offender's actions when there are none. Like, you're still trying to shift the blame when Kane was the victim here.

He didn't use that word because Kane was rude, he used it because he was a racist asshole. It shouldn't become a question of what Kane did to "deserve it."

The guy who hit on the OP knew he was black and told him how hot he was. When he felt rejected, he attacked with the meanest thing he could think of. So, is he racist or just being a revengeful asshole?
 
The guy who hit on the OP knew he was black and told him how hot he was. When he felt rejected, he attacked with the meanest thing he could think of. So, is he racist or just being a revengeful asshole?

Those aren't mutually exclusive. A non-racists wouldn't have used that no matter how angry he felt. He was a petty, vindictive, racist asshole.
 
In general, people of a privileged class have absolutely no right to tell people of a disprivileged class how upset they should be about manifestations of their disprivilege.

In particular, if you (like me) are a white person, and you decide to tell a black person how upset he should be (or not be) about the N word, or for how long he should carry that upset, change your mind and don't.

Unless, of course, you are perfectly willing to be a racist jerk, and have everyone know it. In that case, go right ahead.

It really depends on who the white person is and who the black person is before you can talk about "privilege" or its absence.

  • To question someone's assumptions about history on the basis of that person's skin colour would be racist.
  • To defer to his assumptions based on the colour of his skin or the colour of yours is just so inane it hardly bears mentioning.
  • To question his assumptions for other reasons is to show him the respect of being an equal voice in understanding our human history.
 
You go too far.

Nope. If you're not racist, racist insults are just not where your anger goes.

It really depends on who the white person is and who the black person is before you can talk about "privilege" or its absence.

No, it really doesn't. When a white person uses the N word to a black person, they're using privilege as a weapon. This is true even if it's a poor white guy in Arkansas talking to Oprah.

When it comes to OVERALL advantage, there's this thing called Intersectionality; obviously Oprah is more favored by society overall than the poor white guy in Arkansas, because enough money buys any level of privilege (and also she's famous and accomplished). But it was a harder road for her than it would have been had she been white, with everything except her race being the same.

In most cases it's more complex. If I walk down the street in NYC with a black man, he's dramatically less likely to be stop-and-frisked than if he's alone, or with another black man. My white privilege covers him, in other words. If we hold hands, we're still probably immune from S&F, but more likely to get beaten up by anti-gay thugs.

TL;DR: Yeah, the white racist could be less privileged OVERALL than the OP, but not in any way that counts in this interaction.
 
TL;DR: Yeah, the white racist could be less privileged OVERALL than the OP, but not in any way that counts in this interaction.

It does matter if you are trying to understand the incident in context. The actual, literal, questions:

Why do some white guys do this?
Because some white guys are racist.

Is this the defense some white men use when they are rejected by a person of color?
Yes.

It's almost pointless to answer those questions because they are so obvious.

But I can't believe the OP just wants a literal answer to such a basic trivial question. I have to consider that the post is framed so it goes beyond the literal and implies larger questions.

What could be the unspoken questions then:
Are all white men like this? At least to a degree?

I bet you a dollar the guy was wearing shoes when he opened his racist mouth to the OP, but the OP does not ask "Is this the defence some men who wear shoes use when rejected by a person of colour?" because that would be ridiculous and everyone knows shoes have nothing to do with it. But you wouldn't bring it up unless you wanted to go there. So by focussing on whiteness we are automatically into the land of exploring whether whiteness is innately linked with racism. The question asks if there is something inherent in being white that is racist. Wondering if there is no way to be white except by being racist.

Well the answer to that is "No, of course not." Followed by "Was this just an excuse to imply that white people are all racist? If so that is some lame shit on tap. But if you have sincerely never met a white guy who was not hiding a racist asshole just under the surface, you need to move to a different country." Which is about as far as I can go with the effort it takes to push aside my cynicism about the sincerity of this question.

I will say the question does a definitely useful thing. It bears witness to remind us that racism is not yet extinguished. Good reminder, especially for people who have never been on a blind date with a racist. In my community, there are people of every ethnicity who have never been on a blind date with a racist, but clearly that is not true everywhere.

But it reveals that many people know as little about white people as they claim white people know about their experience. Which brings us to the broadest possible context, and a discussion of privilege:

No, it really doesn't. When a white person uses the N word to a black person, they're using privilege as a weapon. This is true even if it's a poor white guy in Arkansas talking to Oprah.

When it comes to OVERALL advantage, there's this thing called Intersectionality; obviously Oprah is more favored by society overall than the poor white guy in Arkansas, because enough money buys any level of privilege (and also she's famous and accomplished). But it was a harder road for her than it would have been had she been white, with everything except her race being the same.

In most cases it's more complex. If I walk down the street in NYC with a black man, he's dramatically less likely to be stop-and-frisked than if he's alone, or with another black man. My white privilege covers him, in other words. If we hold hands, we're still probably immune from S&F, but more likely to get beaten up by anti-gay thugs.

First, being able to walk down the street minding your own business is not a privilege. I get that in some place people really can't do it without harassment. But the idea that this is a privilege is to give up on the idea of rights and freedoms. Privilege is the wrong word and a product of a dangerous misunderstanding of human relations and the law.

Second, the idea that you can rank people on a scale of privilege based on their colour is out to lunch. It is obvious, and I'm sorry, laughably so, to suggest that John McWhorter had a harder row to hoe than some white kid living in the fifth generation of uneducated poverty in some rural backwater. It doesn't matter to that white kid in the sticks that George Bush's father opened doors for him. As you say, in most cases it really is more complex.
 
Those aren't mutually exclusive. A non-racists wouldn't have used that no matter how angry he felt. He was a petty, vindictive, racist asshole.



2 points;

1, if this guy was such a racist, why would he even consider hooking up with a black guy???

2, Considering the OP's history of racial threads, this incident probably never happened, it's just another opportunity to slam white people.
 
Racism is an ineradicable evil. It was there since the human evolution, and it will be there till all human become extinct.
We aren't Rosa Parks nor Martin Luther King; even if we were, prejudice, racism, hate, whatsoever, will always be exist.

In junior high school, I had some bad experiences because I'm gay. My brother told me that only brainless peoples calling somebody names. Like I use to say, when someone abuses me, "Rather have you to say it, than somebody with brains".
I have learned that starting a discussion with somebody that jeer at me, will be as useless than to discuss the Bible with a Jehova's Withness. You just don't do that.
Of course it isn't nice when another human being tells you that you're a 'nigger', a 'fag' or whatever they might call you, and I really don't want to justify it in all sort; I just raise up my shoulders and move on. Whatelse can I do?

And with all the respect to Kane, the starter of this thread (NOT to judge you nor to bring you down!), but why have you made this thread after some vanilla guy called you 'nigger'? Why haven't you start a thread about black guys calling their fellow human beings 'nigger'? Or isn't that racism? (Bringing this up, reminds me my own words, "Never discuss the Bible with a Johova's Withness". (Sorry, bad joke!))
Why do they do that anyway? I don't say to my brother, "Hey whity!". He knows he is white, so why should I bring it up then?

Next time when you are in some chatroom and have no interest in a white guy, just tell him that you are sorry but that you are in a personal chat with somebody. He will then get the hint and will move on.
 
The show 'Whodunnit' was on and there were 4 people in the cast. I initially thought "great, people say there are never enough Blacks on reality tv" but then I realized there are more Blacks who could be murdering white people. It wasnt a step forward, it was a step back

In the 80's/90's after Bill Cosby paved the way with the Cosby Show, it seemed like EVERY SitCom on TV was some black family. There wasn't any shortages of blacks on TV then.

I could have done without Urkel though.
2009-12-19-Urkel.jpg
 
First, being able to walk down the street minding your own business is not a privilege. I get that in some place people really can't do it without harassment. But the idea that this is a privilege is to give up on the idea of rights and freedoms. Privilege is the wrong word and a product of a dangerous misunderstanding of human relations and the law.

Second, the idea that you can rank people on a scale of privilege based on their colour is out to lunch. It is obvious, and I'm sorry, laughably so, to suggest that John McWhorter had a harder row to hoe than some white kid living in the fifth generation of uneducated poverty in some rural backwater. It doesn't matter to that white kid in the sticks that George Bush's father opened doors for him. As you say, in most cases it really is more complex.

Well, you not only don't seem to understand what privilege is, you also appear not to have even read my bits on intersectionality. So it hardly seems worth my while to reply, since you won't listen to what I say anyway, but are instead going to respond to what you've heard a lot of other people say.
 
Well, you not only don't seem to understand what privilege is, you also appear not to have even read my bits on intersectionality. So it hardly seems worth my while to reply, since you won't listen to what I say anyway, but are instead going to respond to what you've heard a lot of other people say.

It is possible to read ideas from "critical theory" and find them to be wrong, you know. I've listened to what you say, I just find it off base.
 
Just so.



Read the OP again. The racist said "you're not into white guys?" thus making it a racial issue. The OP was justified in being offended by that and replied "I'm just not into YOU." I'd like to point out that there's really nothing he could have said to escape blame from this person and many of the people in this thread. And people will claim otherwise, saying "if he'd only said..." they'd be OK; but in fact they find a reason to be upset about any reply he could give.

This is directly analogous to what happens when a straight man hits on a woman who isn't interested. If she ignores him or tells him off, she's a "bitch," or worse; if she tries to be nice he takes that as encouraging. ANYTHING she does will be criticized by sexist assholes (and by well-meaning thoughtless men who don't understand the issues).

The OP was not interested in this guy. He put the guy off politely, then the guy pushed with an attempt at a manipulative guilt trip. I don't actually think it WAS rude to say "No, just not into YOU," but even if it was it was not uncalled for. The racist verbal abuse that resulted may have been predictable, but predictable is not the same thing as justifiable or even excusable!

Arguably the OP could have just repeated "Sorry, you're just not my type." This would have continued the conversation, which is not the desired effect. Moreover, you're not obliged to spare the feelings of someone who has just attempted a manipulative guilt trip on you!

This is why I think it's best to block people as soon as they say something wacky like "what, you're not into white guys?" The conversation isn't going to go anywhere good after that. The only "mistake" the OP made was in overestimating the other guy as being marginally civilized as opposed to what he was, which is a total racist asshole.

What???? Making it racial by asking "you're not into white guys" doesn't make it offensive! If I want to marry someone from my own race, it might be a racial issue, but I don't mean to offend other races. If anyone was offended by anyone's race preference, well... it's due to their own insecurities.
 
It is possible to read ideas from "critical theory" and find them to be wrong, you know. I've listened to what you say, I just find it off base.

You lectured me on intersectionality right after I got done explaining intersectionality. Hard to buy your subsequent statements, I must say.
 
What???? Making it racial by asking "you're not into white guys" doesn't make it offensive! If I want to marry someone from my own race, it might be a racial issue, but I don't mean to offend other races. If anyone was offended by anyone's race preference, well... it's due to their own insecurities.

"Offensive" isn't an objective category. If I reject someone I would be offended if he said it was because of his race. Remember this is the guy who shortly thereafter started throwing the N word. You might have racial preferences in who you meet, date, hook up with, marry, whatever, but it's at the very least rude to throw them in your face.
 
why do PEOPLE feel the need to state their "preferences" as if people asked them or care? damn, there's NO harm in keeping your personal views to yourself especially if you know that you're going to offend somebody with those views. all that shit comes off like is someone trying to make themselves seem extra special as if the world wants them or whatever. not everybody wants to date you, breh so save all that love connection, i want this and that in a guy as if you KNOW what your options are or like you have any to begin with. cut it out. just WAIT til you find someone who's interested in you to start rejecting them OR to search for that guy you want to date instead of waiting for them to step up to you and boost your low self esteem having ass up.
 
"Offensiveness" isn't objective. It's in the eye of the beholder. Last year Criostoir was catatonically offended at some unknown symbol marked on the chest of some porn star. And I bet his grandfather would be equally catatonically offended that there's another porn star with the Communist symbol marked on his chest.
 
Why do some white guys do this?

I was logged onto one of the known dating/hook up sites when I got a message from this guy who seemed nice at first, but quickly got angry when I rejected him.

He was 32 yrs old. Average looking.

He said "man you are Hot! How are you?". Even though I was not attracted to him, I always try to respond to people by atleast saying thank you once I recieve a compliment.

After saying thanks, I will no longer respond after the first message with the hope that the other person will catch the hint that I'm not interested and move on.

So after not responding to his subsequent messages, he writes "what's wrong? you're not into White guys?" I write back: Yes, I'm into White guys, I'm just not into "You"...

He responds: " cool, I'm not into stuck up arrogant niggers anyway"

Is this the defense some white men use when they are rejected by a person of color? That shit is so lame!

damn I not am into black guys but if i was you would the last one on the planet.

now report this post.

pathetic as you are
 
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