sometimes, i wish i wasn't gay and that i could be straight

[refujiunderground]

after awhile, this gets irritating and boring because there's really nothing to gain from this shit at all besides fucking and sucking dudes. being in love with a guy might feel good but after awhile, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. only thing that is annoying about being straight is that you have to get a woman. with being gay, you get a whole stockpile of problems and face a shitload of hardships. with that said, i don't even feel like coming out or being bothered with this shit.

another thing that turns me off about this whole thing right here is the other gay guys that i have to encounter and deal with. not going to lie but some of you actually annoy me or piss me off to the point where i feel like hitting one of ya. i also find it annoying that i can't talk to another gay guy that just be fucking friendly with me. they're either trying to get into my damn pants or try to hit me up with this whole diva attitude where i feel like strangling them. sorry, i just had to rant real quick.

 

[refujiunderground]

So tell me, what are you doing on valentines day ?

fuck valentine's day. not even thinking about that right now. that's not even on my mind. how about you since you're so interested in knowing what i'm doing?

 

[refujiunderground]

I shall be going to the movies with friends to see the new Muppet movie, then onto a club, where i'll hopefully pick someone up and we'll go back to mine and fuck.

that sounds nice, man. the muppets have a new movie coming out?

if you do get lucky at the club, have fun, bust your nut and strap up.


but with me on the other hand, i'm going to spend the whole day alone and think about what's wrong with me and my life. not interested in any love or whatever. trying to be positive but i'm getting a bit frustrated with everything and being gay is one of them.

 

[Soilwork]

Had you considered the possibility that your um.... Sparkling personality is keeping the good guys away and leaving you with the losers?

And if you were straight, do you think it would be any different? I can tell you that having to deal with a whiner who does nothing but complain about how annoying everyone else is gets very tired very fast.

 

[refujiunderground]

Had you considered the possibility that your um.... Sparkling personality is keeping the good guys away and leaving you with the losers?

And if you were straight, do you think it would be any different? I can tell you that having to deal with a whiner who does nothing but complain about how annoying everyone else is gets very tired very fast.

i'm not looking for anybody to deal with right now so that's not a thing. the only way that i would get involved with somebody is if another guy could understand the situation i am in my life right now in which i can't find one. in other words, he would have to be a good friend first before he even messed with me and it seems like not too many gay guys outthere want to do that. it seems like they're on some bullshit or they just want to cut to the chase and just fuck. i also am looking to improve my life right now because you can say that i'm in a fucked up situation and i'm more so worried about that than finding a boyfriend. i'm looking for a friend that can help me get through this because i'm alone on this aside from going to counseling.

and if i was straight, that would be less problems to deal with for me. being gay just makes my 99 problems 100 now because i have to worry about coming out, possibly losing family and friends over this shit, and all the hardships that come with being a gay male. you know, this is really challenging me because i got enough bullshit on my plate.

and yeah, i agree with you on whining but shit, this is how i take out my frustrations and anger because doing it the other way isn't going to work. i'm not going to take out my frustrations through hurting people and such. i'm trying to be a better man than how i used to be. acknowledging that i'm gay was one step, accepting it was another and now living with it is going to be something else especially when i don't have anybody to lean on in my neighborhood or my community for that matter.

 

[refujiunderground]

Wow... then ignore people or avoid them. It sounds like you're more dramatic then any of them by complaining all the time about others. And maybe people aren't being friendly with you because of your personality.

well, i dunno about that. some people are cool, others are dickheads. i'm not beating myself up about that because i know how it works already. people will be people. i tend to be a paranoid dude where i think that there are people out to get me or people don't like my ass for whatever reason when that's not even the case. i blow shit out of proportion.

however, this whole process on being gay is hard and the way things are going on in my life as well as the people i'm dealing with makes it even worse. i just can't run away from it either.

 

[refujiunderground]

You obviously have a lot of anger but calling one of my favourite singer-songwriters a "dumbass"(you may remember that post) is not going to earn any points with me. Perhaps, the people you claim are not friendly are responding to your negative energy.

As for wishing to not be gay, the straight people I've known in my life don't exactly have moonlit walks on the beach. The grass isn't necessarily greener on the other side. Personally, I wouldn't trade positions with them for anything. If I were straight, I'd probably be married with a ten year old child by now. (Can you imagine having a ten year old child at the age of twenty-seven?) Being gay may not always be easy but your life could be a lot worse. I hope that you're able to realize someday.

yeah, i've been angry for years over certain things that i don't care to talk about. no i don't remember. refresh my memory but aye... i don't care anyway.

but all i'm saying is i don't want to be in a situation where i'm going to be running into more problems than i already am in. i'm already at risk to get beat up, murdered and etc over already. being gay just makes it a lot worse so now that risk is ten times doubled. you know, i can't even be happy because of the situation that i'm in and yeah, things can be a lot worse. i was already in a bad situation already and it just got worse.

 

[Soilwork]

I have a great circle of friends but you have to be willing to go out and do things you like and would be doing anyway. Then you meet guys you have things in common with other than "cock."

That's how you get your friends.

 

[refujiunderground]

I have a great circle of friends but you have to be willing to go out and do things you like and would be doing anyway. Then you meet guys you have things in common with other than "cock."

That's how you get your friends.

that's some good advice. thanks, man. it would be cool as hell if people could fully accept me for who i am without cutting any edges. i'm a weird dude already so..

 

[refujiunderground]

my fault, man. that was two different subjects i was talking about.

i was asking you about which artist you were talking about. i think i said something about beyonce or lady gaga. i don't like either anyway, you must be talking about them.

 

[123kid]

Had you considered the possibility that your um.... Sparkling personality is keeping the good guys away and leaving you with the losers?

And if you were straight, do you think it would be any different? I can tell you that having to deal with a whiner who does nothing but complain about how annoying everyone else is gets very tired very fast.

Jasun.....I love you!

 

[Soilwork]

that's some good advice. thanks, man. it would be cool as hell if people could fully accept me for who i am without cutting any edges. i'm a weird dude already so..

Well all I can tell you is this...

You don't meet friends at bars, bath houses, gay coffee shops, raves or on Grindr. you'd be amazed at how many gay men think you do.

You meet friends the same way that straight people do... go out and enjoy life and do the things you want to do anyway and by doing them you meet guys who have common interests with you and are seldom in that "I NEED A BOYFRIEND OR A FUCK" mode.

and I can tell you this, too...

Same things goes if you're straight. it's not just gay people who tend to meet people who just want to have shags.

 

[asu1117]

Wow, does all that self hatred keep you warm at night?



You can keep complaining about how terrible your life is or you can start working to fix it. It is what you make it and as long as you are content with being miserable you will continue to be just that.

 

[fetaby]

You said you've accepted the fact that you're gay but this thread says otherwise.

 

[DigitalFudge]

after awhile, this gets irritating and boring because there's really nothing to gain from this shit at all besides fucking and sucking dudes. being in love with a guy might feel good but after awhile, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. only thing that is annoying about being straight is that you have to get a woman. with being gay, you get a whole stockpile of problems and face a shitload of hardships. with that said, i don't even feel like coming out or being bothered with this shit.

another thing that turns me off about this whole thing right here is the other gay guys that i have to encounter and deal with. not going to lie but some of you actually annoy me or piss me off to the point where i feel like hitting one of ya. i also find it annoying that i can't talk to another gay guy that just be fucking friendly with me. they're either trying to get into my damn pants or try to hit me up with this whole diva attitude where i feel like strangling them. sorry, i just had to rant real quick.

Being gay ain't easy.


But somebodies gotta do it.


Oh and remember, about the whole whore thing, the majority of gay men want stable relationships and to call it a fucking day.

In life what gets promoted more: Drama or commitment?

Does People magazine have a weekly column on how amazing Tyra Banks and her boyfriend are together? No, they are talking about Katy Perry's split.


The only reason we think most gays are whores is because those are the only ones being talked about.

They are the minority.

 

[attallaborn]

Had you considered the possibility that your um.... Sparkling personality is keeping the good guys away and leaving you with the losers?

And if you were straight, do you think it would be any different? I can tell you that having to deal with a whiner who does nothing but complain about how annoying everyone else is gets very tired very fast.

Dude, he's telling the truth. Every time someone brave enough decides to vent about how "awful" and "fucked up" being a gay male is, the "establishment queens" flame the poor guy into oblivion.

I don't know which "establishment" is worse when it comes to oppressing gay liberty: the "establishment" in Congress or the "establishment" within the gay community. On one side you got closet cases in suites passing laws to suppress gays and on the other side, you have actual gay people bitching other gays in suppression.

Just because you suck it up, have stuck it out, don't wine about it and enjoy the "peasant" reality of gay life doesn't mean the rest of us will settle. It sucks being gay and he is right. You either get someone trying to sleep with you or someone who acts like there to good to be on the same planet with you. Sneaking around urinals, parks or cruising bars is the only way you'll have a warm body in front of you, for lack there of......not kool

 

[72-Jay]

the only way that i would get involved with somebody is if another guy could understand the situation i am in my life right now in which i can't find one. in other words, he would have to be a good friend first before he even messed with me

On this one I feel basically the same way, I'm not Interested in sex/quick hook-ups, I'd want something that starts as - friends only - then maybe something more after having gotten to know them well. Looking at posts on this board I've seen some other members who believe the same too, So there are other people out there who feel like you do.

-----------

Do I wish I was straight? yeah i'll admit sometimes I sorta do...but go back a couple back a couple years and my reply woulda been hell yeah I do. There was a period a few years back when I actually tried to eventually erase all gay feelings/thoughts from my mind (it actually sorta worked for awhile too, maybe if i woulda ran that setup every day instead 1 or 2 x per week I would have had even better/longer lasting results...it was an interesting experiment none-the-less, even though in the end you can't change something like that...)

I shoulda kept some of my posts / the replies / other stuff from the now non-existent forum I was on back in those years..I think I was not only allot more whiny back then but also had more self-hatred too...

I'll admit that I feel better about stuff than I used to (I've really noticed some changes in feelings over the last year)

----------
I'm single, always have been...and as long as I'm living in my current location/situation/etc that basically eliminates any chance (of any sorta relationship). Its not something I can do anything about at this point. There's really nothing wrong with being single tho.

Making friends in general is hard for me (& always has been), being that I'm shy, and just not socially good (and for the same reasons I'm also no good at keeping friends...I think I have a way of just driving people away or something LOL) straight/gay/bi wouldn't change this.

 

[asu1117]

Dude, he's telling the truth. Every time someone brave enough decides to vent about how "awful" and "fucked up" being a gay male is, the "establishment queens" flame the poor guy into oblivion.

I don't know which "establishment" is worse when it comes to oppressing gay liberty: the "establishment" in Congress or the "establishment" within the gay community. On one side you got closet cases in suites passing laws to suppress gays and on the other side, you have actual gay people bitching other gays in suppression.

Just because you suck it up, have stuck it out, don't wine about it and enjoy the "peasant" reality of gay life doesn't mean the rest of us will settle. It sucks being gay and he is right. You either get someone trying to sleep with you or someone who acts like there to good to be on the same planet with you. Sneaking around urinals, parks or cruising bars is the only way you'll have a warm body in front of you, for lack there of......not kool

There's a big gaping hole in your logic. Just because you fail at establishing substantial relationships with men and hate your sexuality doesn't mean we all do.

 

[Soilwork]

Just because you suck it up, have stuck it out, don't wine about it and enjoy the "peasant" reality of gay life doesn't mean the rest of us will settle. It sucks being gay and he is right. You either get someone trying to sleep with you or someone who acts like there to good to be on the same planet with you. Sneaking around urinals, parks or cruising bars is the only way you'll have a warm body in front of you, for lack there of......not kool

OK first... you need to check yourself. You're not helping.

Second... I've been with my husband for 20 years. We have a great relationship but I won't lie to you and tell you that it's been a lovely fairy tale. No long-term relationship is, gay or straight.

Third... you can shove your obnoxious stereotyping of the gay community. Calling it a "peasant" reality and saying it sucks to be gay. Which... it does suck to be gay but only if YOU suck... and trust me, those people would suck at being straight, too.

Fourth... I don't sneak around urinals, parks or cruising bars. I don't go to bath houses or troll for hook ups. It's not my thing. That said, I find the people who whine about that the most are the ones who do that thinking it's going to lead them to find a friend or a lover instead of a quick fuck.

Fifth... My advice is solid and yours is not. Get up off your ass, stop feeling sorry for yourself and get a life. Maybe nobody wants to date you because you're boring. What things do you like to do? What hobbies do you have? What things are you interested in? Most of my immediate circle of friends met via a gay motorcycle club in Southern California. We ride together a lot, explore the surrounding mountains and deserts and beaches and countryside but it ALSO means that we end up hanging out with other gay men... guys we have things in common with.. in situations that aren't sexually-charged and alcohol-fueled and THAT is where you make your friends, THAT is how you become happy in your own adult gay skin and THAT is when you have a great life of friends and hobbies and activities and THAT is when the "good" men notice you and are attracted to you.

Or you can sit and home and cry about how the mean gay people tell them to stop whining about how life just ain't fair.

Your choice.

 

[MoufOfKhaos]

I read the original topic.
I blinked.

I don't even know what i'm supposed to say. You won't come out, you hate talking to gays because they "bother you" and "piss you off", you hate hardship, you obviously have problems with people around you, with yourself, you don't like the idea of being straight because you don't want a woman...

Wait, maybe I do know what can happen. Try asexuality.