Straight white couple adopting a black kid, your thoughts?

[sixthson]

This is a topic that thoughtful people should ponder and not be so quick to dismiss as unimportant. Is the question really just about the ability of parents to love a child? Is love really enough? Is adoption all about the parent or the child or a combination of the two? Fitting parents and child has always been considered by adoption agencies, so obviously it is important.

As somone who as fostered children twice, my partner and I have given this more than a little thought. We asked ourselves if it is possible for someone to love the child more than we? We were confident in our ability to love and nurture a child as completly as any imperfect humans are capable of love. Then we asked ourselves if another couple might be a better fit for a child than we could be. Perhaps our view is colored by the fact we are a same sex couple and bringing a child into this relationship can add a whole new set of problems for a child. Not insurmountable problems, but problems nonetheless. So our POV might be different than others.

Having recently fostered two children from India and then giving them to an Indian couple we felt were a good fit, we again thought on these things. There are just no easy answers, I think. I do however know we could adopt a child of any ethnicity and offer them a stable, loving homelife. Is that enough for the child? I would like to think so...

 

[Zu-Mendel]

Didn't read what I assume to be a shit-storm of a thread, but IMO the most important factor when considering the household an adoptive child is to go to is that they will be loved, provided for, and cherished.

Nothing else matters.

 

[operafan]

Kids belong where they are loved. Period.

 

[strangepoetry]

My family has adopted outside race and it's been no problem...then again, we have a very racially diverse family.

 

[gameboy666]

As long as they love the child and keep him or her healthy and happy, who cares what anyone thinks?!

My sister is in an interracial marriage and my niece doesn't look anything like my sister or I and when we're out in public everyone always asks if she's adopted, but my niece is still too little to know or care, all she is is happy and knows we're her family that loves her.

 

[Reprobate]

If they are adopting him because the know and love him then I see no problem. If they are specifically looking to adopt a black child then I would be concerned but in the end it would depend on two things, their motivation, and the job they would do raising the child.

 

[BearBoi]

Children are raised on love, not colour.

I have several cousins and aunts and uncles of non-Caucasian ancestry. An Aunt of mine (white, single) adopted 2 girls from Africa (black as night, single). Another single white Aunt adopted twin boys from China. I have a white Uncle who married a Filipina and they have a mixed-race child together (where do they fit in, in your ‘concern’?).

They are all doing just fine, and most of my cousins (I don’t even think of them as ‘adopted’ cousins) are nearly adults themselves. They are our family, and when they get married they will expand our family... with the ultimate goal of mixing all races together into a sort of ruddy-beige-tanned colour thus ending racism forever.

But now I’ve said too much.

 

[G-Lexington]

None, really.

Lex

 

[Corny]

Gay couples should not be allowed straight kids then, right?

 

[sixthson]

enters humming "All you need is love". Exits.

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

enters humming "All you need is love". Exits.

cultures taday no a figures simple thing >( love ) go spend million years debate it ans wrap it ups with condtions ans etc

-

there a one thang any country planet can do ta shows how all cultures full of shit ans no idea what parent or any word spun out cultures backsides means connect this topic

planet wait fa worlds educates go somethin besides debates their balls ta four winds ans da tits tryin ta be umselfs withs outs da addons



back ta porn where noses alls shiny

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

I have biracial relatives who're being raised by my sister. I oughta ask her.

For my own part, I think it's most important that the child be raised in a supportive atmosphere, not one where she'd be exposed to a whole lot of racism, or be exposed to an underclass.

internet fixed on color?

or it public see topic title theys hype no tized?

if all humans purple base ons tadays cultures runnin da charades -

this too much

has KOOLS debateins

wiggles

Ya needs lift?

$ whys dat right nobles ya $

 

[Paws]

If they are adopting him because the know and love him then I see no problem. If they are specifically looking to adopt a black child then I would be concerned [...]

I don't know the exact motivation to adopt a black kid. From other sources I heard it first would be a South-American one, now they switched to Africa.

I have a white Uncle who married a Filipina and they have a mixed-race child together (where do they fit in, in your ‘concern’?).

The child is not adopted, it knows its roots and both parents can tell him about it from experience.

Gay couples should not be allowed straight kids then, right?

I, the gay son, don't talk to my straight parents anymore because they completely ignored (or were just too naive/stupid to see) my problems as a gay teenager. It's alright to have patchwork families, but in some cases family members can fuck it up big time, even biological parents.


I found this Yahoo question which deals with this interracial adoption "issue":
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20101231121247AAfUtS0

It seems to be more about a black kid/white parents from/in the U.S.A. and not a black African kid in Europe like in my case, but the (well) chosen best answer sums up my thoughts.

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

^ Paws, one thing a lot of the posters are forgetting:

Being adopted by white parents is infinitely better than not being adopted at all, and having to live in an orphanage all of your childhood.

?

maybe ya wanna words it dfferent

 

[MisterMajestic]

Relatives plan to adopt a black kid. Their families are all white as far as I know and I'm not sure if they have any black friends. The kid will grow up in a small town, probably mainly white population.

Your thoughts? Good idea, bad idea? I'm a bit "nervous" thinking about it, for the well-being of the child, as I know what it is like to grow up as a gay man in a family that was never confronted with homosexuality.

Sure, there's no problem about the white couple being good parents to a black child. But what about the other population?

I'm more concerned if the couple is aware what it means to encounter racism (maybe not daily but still every so often), and if they can prepare the child for the world

So in other words you DON'T know the White Couple that is adopting the baby and you're allowing all kinds of thoughts to enter your head...You're assuming this White Couple is "naive" about Black Culture and how they should raise their adopted child and you DON'T even know them...

You don't know if they have Black friends, Black co-workers, Biracial or Black relatives or even if they Live in predominately White area...You said yourself that you don't know anything about this white couple other than the fact they're looking into adopting a Black baby...


There's really nothing here to discuss since you're not related to the white couple and you're not even a Family-Friend to them....You would've gained Credibility in this thread you created had you stated more facts about this White Couple...But you don't know anything about them....

 

[Reprobate]

As long as they love and respect the child, raise him or her and care for him or her it doesn't really matter. If it was me, and I was adopting (which I won't do with an uncertain health future) I would not limit myself to one race or nationality, I would look for a child that would be a good fit for my family, which would be pretty much any child.

 

[iwantbig]

Race ????? eeerr HUMAN ?

 

[bankside]

So, to cut a long story short,
All you need is love™

If you want more detail:

• the kid has nothing to lose and everything to gain from being adopted.
• children don't have an "inherited culture." We have to take a broader view.
• any parents who confine their children (adopted or born to them) to just one culture that happened to be practiced by their dead ancestors, black or white, are depriving their children.
• it is a bit embarassing that someone would even bring up something so trivial as proper hair care. I think we should be able to trust parents to figure this one out. Seriously, does anyone imagine a whole generation of adopted black kids running around looking like their hair was caught in a lawn mower, people stopping them to ask what happened and then the response is "White parents.... I dunno what to do.."
• white or white-ish parents who will adopt a child, love the kid, raise him, and make him part of an interracial family are part of the anti-racist solution to racism.

Basically, a lot of this article is over the top.

 

[Mellored]

Is the issue blk/wht or the fact that the couple are heterosexual, if it is the latter I totally see the problem, I was raised by straights and they totally did my head in. Seriously my best friend since the age of 11, not lover too much like brothers and too straight, was raised by white parents and he turned out great, well apart from choosing me as his best mate.

 

[Antoine]

I usually hate responding to threads with so many comments in it, but ...

why is this a relevant thread?


....


is it so unusual or taboo to make headlines? lol