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Think of a Song About Masturbating

hungprep said:
^_^ Hola! Un lector! You like Green Day? You should positively lurve these guys then (Usted debe amar de manera positiva a estos tipos)...

'How can you love anyone in this crazy world if you can't love yourself' ~ Nerf Herder


Fight for Your Right to Masturbate!


And a short one by them...

'I was thinking of you, when I jerked off into my sock last night'


Doin' Laundry Nerf Herder


And, for just a taste of old school, OP, California punk...

Déle vuelta para arriba (el volumen)!


What's Your Problem? Circle Jerks


'Tell me, what's your problem?/What's inside of you?/Tell me, what's your problem?/What are you gonna do?/I got a date/I can't be late/If she don't show up/I'll masturbate!'
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Click to expand...

oh.. you should send me a private message,
cause I dont spend much time in justuboys or in this funny forum

well, I told you that song 'cause I watched an interview about their album "Dookie" and they explained that song was related to masturbation...

well, I love Greenday,
they are coming to Chile next October 24th, (!)
I bougth my ticket!!! (!)


well, there are many songs related to dicks and sex...
uh..
cigaro (system of a down)
uh.. there is one by Ramstein (where they sing about fuck and the video is like a porn movie)
 
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRPubFOomqY"]Curbside Prophet Jason Mraz[/ame]
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All right, now, I'm not as dumb as I might appear at times, so even I know this song isn't really about masturbating, but the beat is just so good for wanking, I think I can be forgiven for taking the title in a more 'literal' sense than its author may have intended...

'You want a Benz like Gotti, Nigga?/Work ya damn wrist!/Ice like Gucci, Nigga?/Work ya damn wrist!/Ya want a Bad Bitch?/Then, work ya damn wrist...' ~ Gucci Mane

Featuring Yo Gotti


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2OVRYCu6pQ&feature=related"]Work Ya Wrist Gucci Mane[/ame]
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OK, then!

What? 'Stayin' up with tha Zombies' not part of your lifestyle? No prob, Y'all!

Here's a genuine 'Toss Tune' for my faithful readers. Turn it up – it's good, but it's old and needs a little boost (not a drug reference, BTW)...

'Senseless up and down we go/Six thousand, million, million, million times a-pushing/It's a crisis point that comes, then goes/But who cares, who cares/I'm so quick that I can't tell the difference

'Auto-erotic/Well, you could not be in better hands/Try to accept/When it comes down to love, you please yourself

'Auto-erotic/People laugh, so hard to understand/Learn to expect/That only, you see, you don't need them either

'No defense, no self control/Ten thousand days, and it's not brave, it still remains so empty/No desire to feel at home/It's no help, stand back/Just relax, and hand it to yourself

'You'll either take to heart what people say/Or toss it all away.../Aah, ooh/Make yourself tense/Aah, ooh/Make yourself tense/Aah, ooh/Make yourself tense/Aah, ooh...

'Dreams are so much nicer than real things/When it comes down to love, you please yourself/Well, I tried so hard to understand/You know, only you see/You don't need them either

'Auto-erotic/Auto-erotic/Auto-erotic/Auto-erotic/Hit it!'


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ks_bamhVbhU"]Hit It! The [English] Beat[/ame]
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[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAxK_OtLENQ"]Stand Up and Spit! The Members[/ame]


'Stand up and spit/At the girl next door with the brand new hairdo/Stand up and spit/At the guy at the bar who's got a... crush on you/Stand up and spit/When you're walking home alone, walking home, and it's late at night/And you're wanking in your pillow cos you just can't seem to make it through another night on your own/Just, stand up and...'
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[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J37oBBjW7dI"]Beat's So Lonely Charlie Sexton [/ame]


Live, UK TV show, The Tube, February 7, 1986
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These guys again...


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xP8aDjVshxs"]Palm of Your Hand Buzzcocks[/ame]


'Ever fallen in love with the palm of your hand/It's practically safe, not much risk of disease/My craving feeds at the palm of your hand...'
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'Here’s something to think about/Where would we be now without/Nasty habits?/Nasty habits/Makes me want to scream and shout/Life would be so dull without/Nasty habits/Nasty habits/All those naughty, little things/That we don’t discuss publicly/Nasty habits/Nasty habits/Tell me your secrets/Tell me your name/Tell me your secrets...

'Does it please you to employ/Little girls, or little boys?/Nasty habits/Nasty habits/Do you like to romp and play/By yourself when they’re away?/Nasty affair/What do I care?/Do you peek at magazines/Filled with doggies and leather queens?/Nasty habits/Nasty habits/Tell me your secrets that no one should hear/Whisper them softly into my ear/I won’t tell/I won’t tell...

'People act so proper when they’re going ’bout their business/Cup of coffee, friendly conversation/Till they get home/Till they get home/Take the phone off, lock the door and shut the curtains/Make sure that the neighbors are without suspicion/No one will know/No one will know/Nasty habits/I must condone/No one knows what I do when I’m all alone/Nasty habits/I’m so ashamed...

'Nasty habits/Here to stay/Now, they’ll never/Go away/Try and stop/You’ll have to pay/Nasty habits/Here to stay...

'People act so proper when they’re going ’bout their business/Cup of coffee, friendly conversation/Till they get home/Till they get home/Take the phone off, lock the door and shut the curtains/Make sure that the neighbors are without suspicion/No one will know/No one will know/Nasty habits/I must condone/No one knows what I do when I’m all alone/Nasty habits/I’m so ashamed/But we must not let that stop our little game/Nasty habits are so much fun...

'Nasty habits/Here to stay/Now, they’ll never/Go away/Try and stop/You’ll have to pay/Nasty habits/Here to stay...' ~ Danny Elfman


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puFKPPftM5g"]Nasty Habits Oingo Boingo[/ame]
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'Sticky Fingers!' ¡Vamos, todo el mundo, cantar!


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98p0eqKArnU"]Páginas pegadas Attaque 77[/ame]


'Noches de insomnio, ritos en tu honor/Revistas con tus fotos, secretos de cajón/Páginas pegadas, mi mano sin control/Jugo de perlas derretidas para vos/Sobre tu abdomen sentirás, que cae plasticola natural/Leche condensada de pasión.../Con vos, tuve mil noches de placer/Y nunca nos vamos a conocer.../Casta y pura, angelical me atrae su inocencia/Es algo inmoral/Muñeca de la televisión, cuanto más pelotuda mejor/Desfila, sonríe, me mira al pasar/La juega de estúpida, y me gusta más/Hay vicios que no puedo dejar/Cualquier es el momento, cualquiera es el lugar.'
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Another amazing song in Spanish – this one with a translation. (Sorry, I didn't do the same for the Attaque 77 song just above, but you can look it up if you want to know what it said.) Disfrute! Enjoy!


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ic8Q0XkY3FI"]Volantín ('Kite') Chancho en Piedra[/ame]


'Miro hacia el cielo, con mi derecha me pongo a elevar/No se imaginan todo el placer que esto a mí me da/Y no te miento/Hago los tirantes y me pongo a encumbrar/Mas allá del cielo vamos juntos a llegar/Saco mi pavo, lo hago de nuevo, vuelvo a gozar...

'A encumbrar volantín, quiero llegar a ti/Romperemos hoy la ley de gravedad/A elevar volantín, que me lleve hasta el fin de este cielo/No importa el color o el tamaño que este tenga/La imagen de una bella musa todo lo resuelve para mí/Las nubes se correrán cuando sople el viento a mi favor/Estaré atento para no caer del firmamento/Dame unos segundos para hacerte realidad…/Entra en mi imaginación…/Tengo en mi mano lo que vienes a buscar…/Que intensa emoción…/Quiero que dure una eternidad…

'A encumbrar volantín, quiero llegar a ti/Romperemos hoy la ley de gravedad/A elevar volantín, que me lleve hasta el fin de este cielo/Dime donde vas…/Te podré alcanzar…/Sensación de libertad…/De niño descubrí el placer que da encumbrar/Siempre lo hecho, siempre lo haré, nunca voy a parar…'

Translation:

'I look to the sky, I pull with my right hand to raise/You cannot imagine all the pleasure it gives me/And I'm not lying/I use the straps, and I start to elevate/Beyond the sky we get together/I pull my turkey, I do it again, I return to enjoy…

'To elevate the kite, I come to you/Today, we break the law of gravity/A kite, flying, to take me to the end of the sky/No matter what color or size it has/The image of a beautiful muse makes everything work out for me/The clouds will clear when the wind blows in my favor/I'll be careful not to fall from the sky/Give me a few seconds to make reality…/Come into my imagination…/I have in my hand what you came to find…/That intense emotion…/I want to last forever…

'To elevate the kite, I come to you/Today, we break the law of gravity/A kite, flying, to take me to the end of the sky/Tell me where…/I can reach you…/Sense of freedom…/As a child, I discovered the pleasure it gives to elevate/Always has, always will, I'll never stop…'
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Aneurysm by Nirvana
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QD0D7IuriWQ&feature=related"]Come on over and do the twist over do it and have a fit[/ame]

Beat me outta me, beat me outta me
Beat me outta me, beat me outta me
Beat me outta me, beat me outta me
Beat me outta me, beat me outta me

Spank Thru also by Nirvana
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpZYQmDhgrg"]city boy won't you spank thru?[/ame]
I can make you do things
You wouldn't think you ever could

I can feel it, I can hold it, I can pin it, shape it, mold it,
We can cut it, We can taste it, spank it, beat it while you...
Ahhh -- wait here
 
Yeah! Hola, Sensei ShihTzu!

But Nirvana needs – nay, demands – Live, so, two ways...


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixarS2xcWjQ"]Raw[/ame]

And

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxNYAe85L20"]Polished[/ame]


'I can feel it/I can hold it/I can bend it/I can shape it/I can mold it/I can cut it/I can taste it/I can spank it/Beat it/Masturbate it...'
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I love the polished one best. And I think we could add one more technically.

I'm On A Plain by Nirvana
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHXEvR_zDHg"]I'm on a plain I can't complain I'm on a plain[/ame]

Somewhere I have heard this before
In a dream my memory has stored
As a defense I'm neutered and spayed
What the hell am I trying to say?
It is now time to make it unclear
To write off lines that don't make sense

Love myself better than you
I know it's wrong so what should I do?

I'm on a plain, I can't complain
I'm on a plain!

Love myself
Better than you
I know it's wrong
So what should I do-oooo-ooooo?

I'm on a plain!
 
^_^ Absolument! 'Love myself/Better than you/Know it's wrong/What should I do?' Brillant!

And, not to bring you (or anyone else) down, but just to show by contrast what a bunch of Wankers all (or most of) the Nirvana Imitators were... If it please the court, I offer, Exhibit A

STP – Nirvana Lite

Two, of several appearances they made in the mid-nineties on Letterman (for some reason, Dave loved these Free Spirited, Corporate Grunge Boys; maybe they reminded him of himself when he was younger) – the first song, from their third or fourth appearance, December 16, 1994


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKUkRgzCL44"]Unglued Stone Temple Pilots[/ame]


'Moderation is masturbation/What is what?/And what makes you feel good?/All these things I think about/I think about/Always come unglued...

'Yeah/I got this thing/It's comin' over me/I got this thing/It's comin' over me/I got this feelin' coming over me/Over me...

'This confusion is my illusion/Nowhere to look/But I know where to find it/All these things I'm sick about/I'm sick about/Always come unglued...'

And for our Spanish-speaking jurors... er, Señora Martínez


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Z48PNV5WOs"]Subtitulado español[/ame]


State's Exhibit B, Your Honor, from STP's second appearance on Letterman – June 23, 1994


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OSlj_J6CCQ&feature=related"]Vasoline Stone Temple Pilots[/ame]


'One time, a thing occurred to me/What's real, and what's for sale?/Blew a kiss and tried to take it home/Is it you, is it me?/Search for things that you can't see/Going blind, out of reach/Somewhere in the Vasoline/Two times, and it has rendered me/Punch drunk and without bail/Think I'd be safer all alone/Flies in the Vasoline we are/Sometimes it blows my mind/Keep getting stuck here all the time/Is it you, is it me?/Search for things that you can't see/Going blind, out of reach/Somewhere in the Vasoline/You'll see the look, and you'll see the lies/You'll eat the lies, and you will/Flies in the Vasoline we are/Sometimes it blows my mind/Keep getting stuck here all the time/Is it you, is it me?/Search for things you can't see/Going blind, out of reach/Somewhere in the Vasoline...'

Dumb... Bobolicon didn't even know how to spell 'Vaseline,' but the most incriminating evidence of all is... Bailiff, please, click the link at the top of the video window frame, thank you


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ht672-wYelc"]The. Most. Pretentious. Video. Ever.[/ame]


I'd reccommend 'Solitary Confinement,' Your Honor, except that would play right into his hot, sweaty, little palms.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, Señora Martínez, the State wrists... er, I mean, rests.
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Did someone mention System of a Down?

'Banana, banana, banana/Terra cotta/Banana/Terra cotta, terra cotta/Pie!'


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1uANJd37is"]Vicinity of Obscenity System of a Down[/ame]
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One of my all-time favorite songs by one of my all-time favorite bands – there once was a critical point in my life when their music went a very long way towards saving it...


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3f1sBZDq20M"](Get a) Grip (on Yourself) The Stranglers[/ame]
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^_^ Yeah! That's what I'm talking about! 'I'll always think of you/Inside of my private thoughts/I can imagine you/Touching my private parts/With just the thought of you/I can't help but touch myself/That's why I want you so bad...' Great choice!

Here's another gently rocking tune I hope you enjoy...

Featuring Ludacris and Trina


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3i_5C8qz6c"]Toyz Missy Elliot[/ame]


'A Toy/Every girl must have a toy/The way it make you feel/Every girl must have a toy...'
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