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Think of a Song About Masturbating

The next two bands opened for Kid Cudi last Saturday night. It was sick! (The Dew Tour events were, too; I went back yesterday. Even though the skate vert finals were delayed by rain, about twenty bands played in a free block party.)

First up, produced by The Neptunes, featuring Maxine Ashley and Pharrell, is…


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cY8DMLSN3Eg&fmt=18"]Summer Jam The Cool Kids[/ame]


'Lets get wild/Reconcile with your freaky side/You said it's been awhile, and you're thinking 'bout bringing it out/I peeked your style, by them other cheeks peeking out that bikini bottom/Seen 'em, and then I got 'em/You with your Best Friend, and you call her your Wifey/And y'all both gorgeous, rocking the Saks Fifth shorts set/And y'all do everything together, BFF/We just met, now it's us three/Must be fate/And I got a lot on my plate/But I can make some time for you if you wanna escape/It's OK, by the poolside is where we should lay/You gotta lose your inhibition and get carried away…' ~ Mikey (2nd verse)


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RPFv08cINA&fmt=18"]Swimsuits The Cool Kids/Mayer Hawthorne[/ame]


'Hey! I see you flashing me your taillights/Babe, we can do anything you feel like/No need to contemplate, put on your swimsuit/You know I want to, Babe/To take a swim with you/Two straws is pokin' out the coconut, I gave her a sip/Showboating, now I'm all in the mix/Only toasting perp weed, degrees in the high 80s/'Fore I even said, “Hi, Ladies”/Said, “I seen you on Collins/The car you was driving”/The lights turned on like eyelids/Then, the light turned green/And a scene from Ice Cream Man popped up into my head/When P had the white Lexus, Silkk had the headband/You and your mans looked like them/Right then, my right hand reached my cell phone/And I needed her right name to type in/First name, Mike, Man, right <write?> on the white sand/That's where you can find me/I be in the Bahamas/Your girl wanna chill, and I drill when I wanna/The real on the real need to keep it a hundo/With a “cubano fino mambo”/You see the trunk from the front, like Dumbo/Good drinks, good view from the condo/Say that ain't a good combo…'
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^^ Ha ha, check the Mountain Dew logos in The Cool Kids cover art (it's Mountain Dew's record label, too…).

Hmm, 'Dew Tour,' I wonder…

Actually, I got these two bands out of order (or the whole show for that matter since I started with Kid Cudi). But enjoy anyway (corporate sponsorship notwithstanding)!


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQCAaGem0xM&fmt=18"]Dear Professor The Dean's List[/ame]


'If I die young, bury me in satin/Lay me down on a bed of roses/Sink me in the river at dawn/Send me away, send me away/Dean's List, and die young/We in here/Ow… Oh, let's go in…/Dear Professor, I been in my room/Think I'm goin' a little crazy, or maybe it's the shrooms/I'm addicted to the thrill, the dream of being big/I don't ever wanna die, but I'm hatin' how I live/And it's gettin' so bright, these moments gettin' better/Doin' shows I never dreamed of, I want this shit forever/In the city I came from, the city done changed/Everybody I knew, sayin' I am not the same/We on the verge, Baby, this the come-up song/A loud toast to the coast I done came up on/Get ya camera, Baby, this a night for the ages/Twenty years young, havin' fun, gettin' wasted…/Dear Professor, I been on the road/Gotta do it like you told me, I'm only gettin' old/I been sittin' on my hope/Just waitin' for a rope/A little bit to pull me out the bottom of this hole/And it's gettin' so dark, these nights are gettin' longer/I hope I fall a million times, just to stand up stronger/I don't wanna die yet, but Fuck It if I do/Put your cup up in the air, bury me up in this booth/We on the verge, Baby, this the come-up song/A loud toast to the coast I done came up on/Get ya camera, Baby, this a night for the ages/Twenty years young, havin fun, gettin' wasted…'
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[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-rgIPIkCl4&fmt=18"]Never Miss a Beat Kaiser Chiefs[/ame]


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxEKbJ3mWac&fmt=18"]Live from Elland Road[/ame]
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[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUnO4gK_56g&fmt=18"]Monster Fred Schneider[/ame]


Banned by MTV…

'There's a monster in my pants/And it does a nasty dance/When it moves in and out/Everybody starts to shout…/Monster, ooh, Monster, aah…/Get outta here, Monster…/Monster…/Monster…/Get outta here, Monster…/There's a monster in my pants/And it does a naughty dance/When it sees the light of day/You can hear the people say/Oh, no, a monster…/Oh, no, a monster…/Oh, no, oh, oh, oh, no, a giant monster…/Monster…/Monster…/Oh, no, a giant monster/Shut the window, bolt the door/Don't wanna see that monster no more…/Shut the window, bolt the door/Don't wanna see that monster no more…/There's a monster in my pants/And it does a modern dance/When it comes into a room/People hit it with a broom…/Take that, Monster/Take that, Monster/Take it…/Take it…/Take that, you awful thing/Take that, ooh…/Take that, aah…/Take it…/Take it…/Take that, you naughty thing/And they don't wear pants/On the other side of France/But they do wear fleece/To protect them from the beasts…/Monster…/Monster…/Oh, Gee, a great big monster…/There's a monster on the run/And it wants to have some fun/When it flies up in the air/All the people stop and stare/The guys give a yell/And the girls start to shriek/When they see its giant claws/And its razor sharp beak…/“Garsh, would you look at that thang?”/“And I thought dinosaurs were extinct…”/<Aaarrgghh!…>'
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[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leohcvmf8kM&fmt=18"]Love Shack The B52s[/ame]


'If you see a faded sign at the side of the road that says/15 miles to the…/Love Shack…/Love Shack, yeah, yeah…/I'm headin' down the Atlanta highway/Lookin' for the love getaway/Heading for the love getaway…/I got me a car, it's as big as a whale/And we're headin' on down/To the Love Shack…/I got me a Chrysler, it seats about twenty/So hurry up, and bring your jukebox money…/The Love Shack is a little, old place where/We can get together…/Love Shack, Baby…/Love Shack, Baby…/Love Shack…/Baby, Love Shack…/Love Shack…/Baby, Love Shack…<Ooh, Baby, that's where it's at>/Sign says… <Whee>/“Stay away, Fools”/Cos love rules at the Lo-o-o-ve Shack…/Well, it's set way back/In the middle of a field/Just a funky, old shack/And I gotta get back…/Glitter on the mattress…/Glitter on the highway…/Glitter on the front porch…/Glitter on the hallway…/The Love Shack is a little, old place where/We can get together…/Love Shack, Baby…/Love Shack, Baby/Love Shack…/That's where it's at…/Love Shack…/That's where it's at…/Huggin' and a-kissin'/Dancin' and a-lovin'/Wearin' next to nothin'/Cos it's hot as an oven/The whole shack shimmies/When everybody's movin'/Around and around and around and around…/Everybody's movin'/Everybody's groovin', Baby/Folks linin' up outside just to get down…/Everybody's movin'/Everybody's groovin', Baby…/Funky, little shack…/Funky, little shack…'

For some really kewl, early vids of The B52s, see the last page of my other thread Who do you think is a 'gay music icon' (besides Lady Gaga)?
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[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CQvIXcxntw&fmt=18"]Roam The B52s[/ame]


'Boy, mercury shooting through every degree/Oh, Girl, dancing down those dirty and dusty trails/Take it hip-to-hip, rocking through the wilderness/Around the world, the trip begins with a kiss…/Roam if you want to, roam around the world/Roam if you want to, without anything but the love we feel…'
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Girl from Ipanema Goes to Greenland…


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MF1DSrywcvQ&fmt=18"]The B52s[/ame]
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[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hn6u6_tFexI&fmt=18"]Rock Lobster The B52s[/ame]
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[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daa9pZDxfIY&fmt=18"]Dizz Knee Land Dada[/ame]


'I just tossed off at the gym, now I'm going to Dizz Knee Land…'
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Neonazis der Welt, zur Hölle fahren!


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otG78RhtFRc&fmt=18"]Musclebound Spandau Ballet[/ame]


'We’re building fires that will burn until morning/The smell of books and hot stone surround us/Tough is the leather that's strapped to my skin/Strong are the bonds that we make…/We feel the steam as it rises around us/Up from the soil that is cracking its back/Tough is the leather that's strapped to my skin/Strong are the bonds that we sing…/Work till you’re musclebound, all night long/Work till you’re musclebound, all night long/Gotta work till you’re musclebound, all night long/Gotta work till you’re musclebound, all night long…'
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[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbpkhIZPv3g&fmt=18"]Radiation Masturbation The Authorities[/ame]


'If I think about radiation/I want to masturbate/If I think about masturbation/I want to radiate…'
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This week, I'm going to feature songs by some of my all-time favorite bands from when I was a little kid…


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TAzJXUOCGI&fmt=18"]Touch Me, I'm Sick Sonic Youth[/ame]


'Well, I've been bad/And I've been worse/And I'm a creep, yeah/And I'm a jerk/Come on/Touch me, I'm sick…'
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The still brilliant original…


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNj7ZyZy7cw&fmt=18"]Touch Me, I'm Sick Mudhoney[/ame]


'Come on, Baby/Now come with me/You don't come/You don't come/You don't come/You'll die alone…'
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One more for today (more tomorrow)…


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yun1IlBnDmY&fmt=18"]Suck You Dry Mudhoney[/ame]


(To watch the video on YouTube, just click the song title/artist name in the top of the video window frame.)
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[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQ0gnaC8wHU&fmt=18"]Drain You Nirvana[/ame]
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[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmIqIVxUuKs&fmt=18"]Burden in My Hand Soundgarden[/ame]
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[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hvi4iA3PnKE&fmt=18"]Here Comes Your Man Pixies[/ame]


'Big shake on the box car moving/Big shake to the land that's falling down/Is a wind makes a palm stop blowing/A big, big stone fall and break my crown/There is a wait so long <So long, so long>/You'll never wait so long/Here comes your man/Here comes your man/Here comes your man/Here comes your man……'
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Live aux Eurockéennes de Belfort, France, 2004…


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5kV427v44QY&fmt=18"]The Holiday Song Pixies[/ame]


'This ain't no holiday/But it always turns out this way/Here I am with my hand…'
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[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zk5w6fH2uw&fmt=18"]Debaser Pixies[/ame]


'Got me a movie/I want you to know/Slicing up eyeballs/I want you to know/Girlie so groovy/I want you to know/Don't know about you/But I am un chien andalusia/I am un chien andalusia…'
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[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNZbP3ZVem4&fmt=18"]Behind the Wall of Sleep The Smithereens[/ame]


'Now, I lie in bed and think of her/Sometimes, I even weep/Then, I dream of her behind the wall of sleep…'
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