Undying love for my best friend...please read(long

[Kulindahr]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

I need to disappear from this thread for a while. I'm in a situation where I'm fighting to even want to get out of bed when I have to pee during the night.
Sorry, Bri -- hang in there.

 

[RicanDAB]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Bri,

Here's one more resource that I believe will be useful to you ...

www.gaycenter.org

This is the LGBT Community Center on 13th Street in Manhattan. They offer our community a lot, including resources for counseling and opportunities to meet others. BTW, going with what vetteboi suggested - I also believe the local gay educators group is based out of here.

Sadly, this is the best I can do to help you ... I certainly hope you use this information productively, because I would really love to see you emerge from this difficult time in your life.

 

[SunsetsC]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Yo Bri, It's Lil_C again... My 3 year situation (which i remember you reading about, around a year ago. About us being on the same boat) is cooling down well, and I think a vital factor within it is friendship.

I guess eventually the mate in me won through, and I was completely happy with that. It was my birthday yesterday when I re-joined to catchup with this thread again, my bud threw me a surprise party... lol. So long as Im happy with our friendship, which I see me being for years to come, Im all good. It really is sustaining me well, and makes the whole 'falling for a best mate' experience, feel redundant and knaive of me, now that i look back at it.

--

I know contentment isnt something you got just thrust yourself into, but if maybe you just felt natural about it, and thought of how supremely important your lifetime friendship is to this guy, then things'd start looking great again. I mean, there'll be bumps even if you seal your relationship into a life-long Friendship, but Life has a funny way of showing 'couples', completely in the literal sense, like you and Andy, and Me and My own best mate, that the level of love, faith, friendship and loyalty we show to the fella we fell for, really does tie us together through most adversities.

At one or more points in time, they seemed to mean the world to the Gay lover, and although they cannot return the same type of love back, The gay lover should realise later on, that they really have become a vital and significant character in this straight guy's life. Someone who they can count on when most others fail. Someone who they know wont judge them, someone truly commited as a friend. The feelings we had for them make us this kind of friend. Im sure youve made him feel greater than most people frequently.

The love that we develop for these heteros often bind us to them, loyal and faithful, and seeing as nothing more is possible than friendship, it just becomes a loyal and faithful friendship. And im positive Andy appreciates this kind of genuine support from you as my mate does from me. Really, it makes you feel really special at the end of the day.

--

And from what I can make out, Andy is getting married to his girlfriend? Somebody correct me if Im wrong, but funnily enough, my best mate met his 1st proper girl friend a few weeks ago just when we finished school. Not long before that, I had a bit of closure with him. Then I met his girlfriend. Shes absolutely great, and we get along real awesome... She really is the kind of girl i envisioned for him. I jus thought it was weird how around the same time Andy was to be wed, My bud found a GF. For me, it was a happy closure, I wish the same for you.

Good luck, and have a good day/week/month/year you. You'll be right buddy.

And like Kyanimal said, youve certainly sucked us into caring a lot for this. Remember it was the reason for me joining a while ago? And despite my 'exile' you got me coming back at 18. Ya got me waiting a year and a bit man! lol

All the best,
,C

 

[LostVegas]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Wow guys, thanks for all the support. I really wish you were all in my real life. I really do.

It's so hard making friends as it is...let alone finding someone to be with your whole life. I hope my guy is out there somewhere.

Bri

 

[Kyanimal]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

"C" ... are you Sure you just turned 18??!!

Your words, your thoughts ... Awesome!!

Brian, Bud! Don't ever forget ... YOU ROCK!!!

Keep smilin', ALL!
Chaz

 

[mc1911]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Hi Bri,

Don't post here very often, as very busy and only a bit of a lurker anyway when I get the time.



I just want to say that your description of your experiences and your enormous personal courage are inspiring, not only to me personally, but I'm sure to those who are reading this and those who love you in person. You're a man who clearly gives of himself, not just financially to Andrew, but in kind responses to all your Council of Advisors, who have likewise been A-OK in my biblia. Thank you so much for sharing your heart with each of us; it provides us all with new and interesting perspectives on experiences that many of us have shared.

I personally understand your problem quite well. I think actually your writing has led me to a better understanding of the relationship between myself and my helpmate. One thing I noticed as you wrote is that "Andy" has steadily and increasingly become "Andrew" - you may be the best person to interpret what that symbolises about your journey. I can see an increasing emotional maturity and strength on your part, as I have journeyed through your writings. Be proud of yourself! And who you are!

and kudos from me....your brother in gender and in gender spirit, mc1911

 

[PATMAN]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

hey lil C back when i was reading this thread before posting you were already gone, so you don't know me at all, but I do remember your posts, they always stood out for me. So welcome back! and happy belated!
Brian, i havent posted in a while and not even very much, but I am still following along every day and want you to continue posting! I want all the best for you as you definitely have a heart of gold and deserve nothing but the best!

 

[LostVegas]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Hey guys...I'm just posting here tonight out of sadness.

Andy called when I came home. He was down. I was up or at the very least ok and dealing fine. As always with our calls, he ends up more up and I am totally opposite.

He did not look for jobs today. Or send any resumes out yet. He supposedly needs to get a job by February.

The first hour of our call went ok. I was making him think about other things than his problems.

We joked around. He talked about what guys I find hot...etc. We talked about which one of his friends I find hot, etc. He talked about girls he found hot.

The other day he made a joke about me being the only gay guy at the wedding...so today I told him, if you think I'm the only gay guy at your wedding, you got another thing coming to you. All of a sudden he kept guessing who..said his friend Mike..his brother in law...etc. I really didn't mean Andy but I think in his head he thought I was going there. He asked if I was interested in his friend Mike and I said yeah give me his number and he said to me..Bri if I ever walked in on you and Mike having sex..I'd throw up..

I told him I can understand that he's not into it..but why would he say he would throw up..is gay sex that much more different than hetero sex?? He said it's weird and he sees it differently. I got a little down about that. How on some level Andy doesn't think of me as normal or regular.

Anyway back on topic...he begins to talk about how the wedding is difficult and such a mess. He said he's got one friend thats backing out of going to his wedding if he doesn't make him the best man..then he has his friend from childhood who would be upset if anyone other than him was picked..much less me. Then there is me(someone who in just 4 years of knowing him has been there more for him than his friends, family, and girl)..he said if he was going with feelings, that I am definitely his pick. But if he is going by statistics and such, his long time friend from childhood should be picked.

I told him to go with his heart and don't listen to anyone. His girl told him it should be me or his childhood friend...that either way its a difficult decision and she wishes she weren't Andy in that situation.

I told Andy that it would not upset me I he did not pick me and I would not be angry. I mean I WOULD get sad that he didn't pick me..but at the same time if I am planning on not going or cutting the wedding short..I cannot simply be his best man in that situation.

I started to get so down..over many things.

I got down that I was alone. That everyone seems to be moving on around me but me. That in his voice..I can tell that Andy is not going to pick me to be his best man. I was upset that his wedding is a finality for me. I was upset that I have to even go that day..and thinking how bad that would look if I didn't go.

He asked me why I was so quiet...and if I was angry about the best man thing. I said no(which was true) but I was really down. I hung up a little time later.

I called him back..figuring it was best to talk to him about my depression and I did. He asked me if I was down about his wedding because hes moving on and I feel all alone?? And with that I started bawling like I have NEVER had before..sobs so bad he wanted to call someone over here to check up on me. Andy told me to let it out..and he kept saying that there are straight people that are alone too..and hes not moving on without me....and that I will find someone.

As I stated in an early post on here I used to get molested by several guys over several years when I was a kid(hey I know we all have problems so it's not unique just to me..but these things affected me)...Ever since then(11-13years old) I closed myself in..hid my sexuality..hid my feelings...had not one friend..and I fell in love with TV. TV became my family. The people and families on TV became my friends and family. Their problems were solved in 30 minutes and they were there for me every week. The doorbell would ring in my house and I would pretend I wasn't home..no matter who it was..I used to hide in my attic when people were in the house. I simply was fearful of any interactions with people and even kids my own age.

I'm not asking for a pity party..but because of all this I went through an intense depression that would stick with me until a few years ago. It comes and goes now and the pain is just as intense when it hits.

I missed out on so much of my life. The formation of friendships..dating..having relationships. And I filled that void with food..and just hobbies around the house I loved.

I can't begin to describe to you all the intense pain I go through everyday. It feels like my soul and my heart are ripped out all the time. I am a very sensitive person...If I were a callous or mean person..or one who didn't care..I often think my life would be easier. And I have tried being those things believe me..and it is against who I am..it is not me.I know it is my fault I am alone and with no friends. I have a big heart, humor and good ethics..yet my past has kept these qualities from shining.

Besides Andy..no one ever took the time to get past my extra weight..my shy behavior..and my depression.

So how do you all think I felt when Andy, after years of knowing me, told me in the beginning of ur friendship that he was scamming and conning me?? That all those chances he took to get close to me..he was aiming for my wallet and not my well-being?? It hurt so bad..and still does today when I think about. Sometimes I really think that shows me there is no one willing to get close to me for a legit reason.

Oh yes..Andrew turned and admitted this to me and we are brothers despite it..and sometimes I think I am strong for still being his friend...and other times I think I'm the biggest fool in this fucking world.

You guys will yell at me...but there are days I wish I was just straight...days I wish I had a normal childhood..and days I wish I was never molested. I know I would be going through this problems too even if I was straight..but there is so much to being gay that is so heavy.

I am ok being gay. Don't take it the wrong way. There are plenty of gay guys who have gone through life, met someone and had kids..and did the whole routine without a problem to face or any conflict. For me it's not that easy.

It is hard seeing both your brothers move in with their lives. It's hard seeing friends that used me come and go. It's hard seeing my one friend move on. It is hard seeing my love for Andrew in any long term way to go away and fizzle.

The weird thing is..as much as I am afraid of being alone the rest of my life...it's an easy thing to do..as I have been used to it since I was a teen.

It is a hard rut to get out of. Some will say join a team or sports and meet people. It's just not that easy for me..much easier said than done.

There is no such pain I think in this world for me than being alone...it gets so unbearable.

Vegas

 

[hanshansen]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

As I stated in an early post on here I used to get molested by several guys over several years when I was a kid(hey I know we all have problems so it's not unique just to me..but these things affected me)...Ever since then(11-13years old) I closed myself in..hid my sexuality..hid my feelings...had not one friend..and I fell in love with TV. TV became my family. The people and families on TV became my friends and family. Their problems were solved in 30 minutes and they were there for me every week. The doorbell would ring in my house and I would pretend I wasn't home..no matter who it was..I used to hide in my attic when people were in the house. I simply was fearful of any interactions with people and even kids my own age.

I'm not asking for a pity party..but because of all this I went through an intense depression that would stick with me until a few years ago. It comes and goes now and the pain is just as intense when it hits.

I missed out on so much of my life. The formation of friendships..dating..having relationships. And I filled that void with food..and just hobbies around the house I loved.

Brian, I don’t know if you’ve read the thread that I finally set up to vent about my own problems, but I can relate very deeply to this. I avoided social contact for years and years (TV, books, internet message boards about various hobbies were my replacements), and I am only gradually learning to trust other people my age. I missed out on all the stuff young people do socially. I get on really well with a lot of people at work now but that took two years and I’m still afraid to mix with them outside work – drinks after hours is about as far as I go. The reasons for all this are very different from yours. I’m the only child of extremely loving, (over)protective parents with whom I moved to another country, far away from any other family, when I was at preschool age. When I was a kid I kind of grew up in this cocoon of my parents and (elderly) expats, and when I went to high school it was just this massive shock to my system. The fact that I felt different in sexual respects naturally made everything much worse.

Anyway, none of that is really that important except in so far as it will hopefully convince you that I’ve had to deal with comparatively serious problems in getting close to other people and that what I’m saying comes from the heart. I can’t help you get over your shyness because I’m still struggling with it myself. What I want to do is look at some things from another perspective and hopefully make you feel slightly less bad about where things are at with you.

You say ‘my past has kept [my] qualities from shining’. I know exactly how you feel, I have felt like a hostage of my own past for years. Professionally, personally, I still feel that there are areas of potential in me that are going unrealised because of paths my life took earlier. But it’s no longer as bad as it used to be. I know this is really trite, but you can’t change the past and you only have one life. Of course you can't ‘let go of the past’ - my past has left all sorts of legacies in my life today and my life is lot more effortful than for most other people (I imagine) as a result. That is not fair and sometimes it really gets me down. But you aren’t strictly speaking controlled by your past – you are actually pretty much free to do things differently today, you just have to be willing to make the extra effort and you will end up proud of yourself because you had to make the effort. That is a consideration that has really helped me.

The second, equally trite thing is that (as I’m sure you realise at an intellectual level) not all people are like Andy. (None that I know are.) I increasingly think it was really bad luck that you met Andy when you did. You went from being totally withdrawn to totally opening yourself up to this one person – who turned out to have all sorts of problems of his own which he has ended up offloading on you, and who totally broke your trust at an early stage of your friendship. (And who doesn't realise that when he jokes about your weight or your being gay, he is the one person from whom those comments hurt particularly.) The major point is, this is the one personal experience that you have to draw on for what it is like to really open up to someone outside your close family. (Then there was Matt, who was a bastard, but I don’t see him as counting in that he seems to me to have been mainly about sex, rather than someone you really got to love and trust as a person.) Emotionally, that must loom really large, but logically, you can see what a weak basis that one experience is for judging your chances with other people. Most people do not lie and fleece their friends for money. Also, I’m tempted to say that the relationship you had initially with Andy was unique and unrepeatable in your life in a bad sense. That friendship was founded in a really fundamental way on your and Andy's weaknesses – you were two really vulnerable people in a kind of mutual support system that no-one else got a look into. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but if you were to read back over all your posts from the past year (as I did a month or so ago) you would find that you are not the same person as you were a year ago. You have opened up to yourself about certain things a lot more, you have chalked up professional experience, you have realised that in many ways you are a stronger person than Andrew. Whatever happens, you won't get very far looking for signs of your future in your past.

There are two other things that you said that I want to comment on. You talk several times about Andy moving on, you say, ‘It's hard seeing my one friend move on. It is hard seeing my love for Andrew in any long term way to go away and fizzle.’ First, as you know, Andy is in a lot of ways not moving on at all. He is getting married, that is all – to a woman he is really ambivalent about being with. He still has all his old problems: no job, dependent on you for money, can’t admit his financial problems to any of his friends and relations. Andy is stuck, to my outsider’s eyes a lot more seriously than you are. Secondly, what happens to your love for Andrew in the long term is up to you and not really that dependent on this marriage or Andrew’s sexuality per se. The reason is the extent to which your relationship is grounded in factors (good and less so) other than sex.

The second thing you say is, ‘there are plenty of gay guys who have gone through life, met someone and had kids..and did the whole routine without a problem to face or any conflict’. I think it’s interesting that you use the words ‘the whole routine’. I’ve also noticed how you talk about ‘the right guy’. I think you have a picture in your mind of the way your love life should go to be ‘right’ in some sense. You will feel better if you approach these things in a more flexible way. The important thing is that you eventually find someone who you can trust and open up to, and who you can also have a sexual relationship with that makes you happy. There are so many ways in which that can happen.

I’m amazed and embarrassed at how long this post has become. I’m sorry. In terms of concrete things you can do to help yourself, the only thing I really urge you to do is to make that appointment with a therapist. You really need someone other than Andy who you can unburden yourself to face to face without feeling guilty about it, and who can offer you a fresh perspective.

The only other thing I wanted to ask is – what is your relationship like with your family? How much do they know about your situation? Do they know about the abuse? You mentioned once that one of your brothers is gay – would you be able to talk to him more? Do you think the fact that your brother is gay would make it easier or harder for your parents to talk to you about what you have been going through?

 

[hanshansen]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Brian, I just want to get one more thing in there. It's something really helpful that someone said to me on my thread only a few days ago. We are probably never going to 'get over' our shyness - though hopefully we will increasingly manage it and become more open to more people as time goes on. We also won't get rid of the history. What this guy (thanks, Tallboy) said to me is, you have to accept the shyness and the inhibitions as part of youself, just like all the other elements that make up your personality. To me, this was an incredibly liberating thought, and I credit it with having made me noticeably more relaxed (not always, but often) around other people in the last week. If people are decent and mean well (i.e. are the kind of people you want to make friends with), they will forgive you your shyness just like your appearance or other superficial aspects of you.

That's really all. The only other thing I might say again is, I've never got the sense from your posts that your inhibitions make you less likeable to other people. You come across as somebody who people naturally warm to and trust. You're a lot better off than me in that respect, because I tend to get defensive and cold.

Anyway, please see that therapist - writing all this has left me totally drained, please don't put me through that again!

 

[LostVegas]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Hansen, thanks for the posts..read them...and will re-reread them again.

Came home from a decent day. Seems like I get down as soon as I get home and my reality hits.

Saw that Andy called two times. I knew his next was coming soon...as it seems to be his thing to call me as soon as I get home.

He was down...and I was short with him.

He asked if I was still down and I said yes. I urged him to still talk and vent so he can feel better. He said he is worried about work, a job and everything falling apart. He said hes TRYING not to ask me for help.

In my head I'm like TRYING??? You just indirectly did!

I'm very done with helping him out money-wise.

He said he didn't feel like laying his problems on me...while I was going through a depression. He kept stressing I can call him if I need to talk and stuff and we both hung up.

Brian

 

[backpacker]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

In my head I'm like TRYING??? You just indirectly did!

Not too indirect in my book. He was clearly asking and I'm glad you didn't take the bate. You should use these opportunities to encourage him to find a job and let him know he needs to learn to support himself.

I'm glad your days are going well. I hope you have made an appointment with a therapist so that your nights can be equally as good. Take care.

 

[hanshansen]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Also, I’m tempted to say that the relationship you had initially with Andy was unique and unrepeatable in your life in a bad sense. That friendship was founded in a really fundamental way on your and Andy's weaknesses – you were two really vulnerable people in a kind of mutual support system that no-one else got a look into.

I know I'm deluging you but I really don't want to have stuffed this up ... as regards the above, I emphatically did NOT mean that friendships rooted in shared vulnerabilities are bad things ... if two people are able to make each other feel better when they are down, support each other in taking the steps to improve their situation, and continue to love each other from a position of renewed strength because of all that shared history, that is a wonderful thing. Andy's problem is that he only understands Stage 1 (being supportive when the other guy is down), but he isn't seriously interested in Stage 2 and so you guys aren't going to reach Stage 3. (More evidence of that in your post yesterday.)

 

[LostVegas]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Andy and I had a long talk last night. He is down about his impending deadline of February 1st..he has no money to pay the rent.

We talked about deep things last night.

I said he hurt me by using me and I dont forget it but do forgive it.

He said I hurt him by telling him I had feelings for him. I doubt he was hurt at all, I think it was unexpected and maybe he felt odd about it but HURT?? I told him if you were so hurt..then how come the very next day we were like brothers again.
He said he was hurt. I have no choice but to respect his feelings and if he told me he was hurt..he was.

I told him I was sorry..it was never my intention to hurt him.

We both got mad and sad talking about all of this, we talked until early hours of the morning. I'm going to give him a call soon to see if he is alright.

TTYL Vegas

P.S.-Andy telling me he was hurt by my love for him hurt me..but it also made me realize in my head concretely that Andy is not the one for me and can never be the one for me.

 

[LostVegas]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)



Ok so I called him..he said it was very odd, because when I called him he had the phone in his hand ready to call me..he said it is funny how our friendship has many moments like that, like we read each other.

Usual talk. He's down. Im positive today. After the talk I had with Andy..I seemded to have had things finally click in my head.

I asked him what bothers him the most and makes him sad..and instantly he said "Missing you Brian and not having you near me and in my life.."

We changed the topic as always joking and talking about dumb shit.

We got on the topic of odd shit, some stuff that came out:

1. We talked about horse cocks and how he saw a video of a girl with one and were talking about that.

2. We talked about girls and guys we found hot.

3. He asked if I liked Madonna, I said I wasnt obsessed but I like all her songs..and hes like you would definitely sleep with her...I go would you sleep with Brad Pitt? He of course said no..so I go why would I sleep with Madonna?? I'm in to guys bro, period, end of story.

4. How he said for a million bucks he would have a horse fuck him..and when I said but you wouldn't have a guy fuck you?? He goes for a million dollars yes he would have a guy fuck him , but that doesnt make him gay.


I have to talk to you about my friend Latoya at work..she is so cool . We are so like Will and Grace..she has a black gay friend who is hot, and she said she would totally have a baby for him..or any of her gay friends that she held close.

She also is sooooooooooo cool..we call and watch Will and Grace together(we are so like them)...we both love Murder She Wrote...today I was walking with her and I just jokingly said.."I wonder where Angela Landsbuy is right now.." and she answers in all seriousness "I dont know but if she came around me Id get the fuck out of there because everytime she's around someone ends up dead.." I nearly busted a gut..

She has always been mad cool and we are close..and I finally told her I would come out next weekend and join her and her friends and go to Webster Hall and NYC..for a night out(my first tiem to a club). I'm starting to open up. She doesn't know I'm gay but obviously she should be fine with me being gay. I am telling her very soon!!

Last night and today..without going into details..I told Andrew I have closure with him and I'm moving on in my own way.

Today I told him about Latoya..and her gay friend and how it's cool having the chance to meet gay guys who can understand me and what I'm going through. Latoya told me we are going to have a great tiem hanging out.

I told this to Andy and he got really depressed and had to go and hung up the phone.

I called him back and told him anytime I'm here.

Vegas

 

[_tazz_]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Brian, this Latoya girl sounds awesome! I actually became really happy reading about you going to hang out with her and her friends. Go and have fun and don't forget to tell us how it was!

 

[LostVegas]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Hey 69..sorry my thread conjured up those memories for you..I know it's hard.

Well had a good Saturday.....kept out. Joined Blockbuster. Rented three movies

1. Pirates 2: Dead Man's Chest-Great
2. Step Up-Ok-Channing Tatum is hot
3. Devil Wear's Prada-Will watch in a few

Talked to Andy last night. He is worried about money. And the looming date of Feb 1st coming...he said he is trying not to come to me..and I hope he doesn't because I will not be able to help him.

He has to call someone tomorrow..to see about a personal training management job...he said if he doesn't get it..he is screwed...He also said even if he does get it he still might be screwed.

Anyway we hung up after 2 hours...and agreed to speak today. Bri

P.S. I don't know what it is/was but my obsession and love for him i nthat way is all just about subsided. I think getting out there and having a life..hanging out next weekend and the possibility of new friends and relationships..and my own future has me thinking more of myself and not so much Andy. Thanks..Brian

 

[Kyanimal]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

P.S. I don't know what it is/was but my obsession and love for him in that way is all just about subsided. I think getting out there and having a life..hanging out next weekend and the possibility of new friends and relationships..and my own future has me thinking more of myself and not so much Andy. Thanks..Brian

This is a "Good Thing", Bri! It truly is! A one-sided obsession, in any relationship, has a tendancy to scew things. (Just as an example of another obsession, think about someone who may be overly jealous.) Now you can get on with enjoying Andy as a Good Friend and Bro! Accept him as he is.

As for YOU ... good goin'! Get out there! Have some FUN!! Meet new "peeps"! And Enjoy YOURSELF!!

You can't be the best possible Friend when You're not all that happy with Yourself!

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[LostVegas]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Thanks for the support KY...really.

Vegas

P.S.-Andy called and said his girl was fighting with her mother...and also that her dad might not be giving them the money for the wedding, so the wedding might no be in June...so who knows.

P.S. The Sequel: Devil Wears Prada was pretty damn cool.

 

[Kyanimal]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Know what, Bri? This whole thing about Money is REALLY starting to bug ME! Can't imagine what it's doing to You!

I mean ... if they REALLY want to get married ... they're in VEGAS for "Cripes Sake"!! Just DO It!!!!

And as far as rent, and stuff goes ... they're in VEGAS for "Cripes Sake"!! That place is Awash in Money!!! It's what that entire city is all about!! There are jobs just begging to be filled! Granted they are mainly in the "service sector". But what's so wrong with that if you really need the cash???? And if Andy is all that "Hot", why couldn't he be one of those hunky, shirtless, "pirates" at Treasure Island, for instance??

Sorry! ... But I think it's High Time for Andy, and "Girl", to "Grow a Pair", and start fending for themselves! YOU can NOT continue to be their support system (apparently all by yourself)! It's not good for Them, or YOU!!

And as for "Devil" ... we just watched it and liked it, too! I was expecting something more like Glenn Close's "Cruella DeVille", but was impressed with Meryl Streep's subtle, almost under-played, "quiet" devilishness!

Aside: The author's experience came from her working at "Vogue" magazine. My company happens to print that! So ... since I work on it, I had an "additional" interest in that movie, too!

In any case ... all considered ...

Keep smilin', Buddy!!
Chaz