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Undying love for my best friend...please read(long

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Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

LV, I'm lying here in bed with my laptop and went straight to your thread. I feel for you and hope you realize how fortunate you are (and he is) to have each other. I've been in similar situations and it felt almost like my friend died, but then the next time we talked/saw each other it was just like there was no geographical distance between us. So here's the deal - you have a wonderful friend who actually knows who you are now and still loves and cares for you. Be proud of yourself for being honest with him and be proud of him for his reaction. As theblackajah indicated above, there are planes leaving NYC every day to Vegas, so you're never more than a few hours away from each other.

Be nice to yourself this week - get a massage or take a walk in Prospect Park, see a show/movie you've wanted to see or just indulge in something you've wanted to do for you. And remember to breathe (as will the rest of us who've been holding our breath all week to see how this turns out!). And don't forget, we're here for you!
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Brian, this is the first thread I logged into this morning. I knew the leave-taking would be gut-wrenching and it looks like it was. The pain you are feeling must be overwhelming right now, but it will ease. Remember, he's always a phone call away, or as someone mentioned above, a quick plane trip away.

Certainly you need some emotional downtime to recover from the events of the last week. You've been through a lot coming out to your best friend, confirming he wasn't gay himself, and then him leaving for Las Vegas. But, after the dust has settled, what then? Where do you go from here?

For now, grieve your loss and reconcile his departure in your head. (*8*)
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Thanks for sharing LV. You are so very lucky to have such a good friend. And really, like others have suggested, take a break. You owe it to yourself.

I'm really happy that you have such a deep emotional connection and such a good friendship. You'll all be together again in Vegas, soon enough.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

averageguy said:
Brian, this is the first thread I logged into this morning. I knew the leave-taking would be gut-wrenching and it looks like it was. The pain you are feeling must be overwhelming right now, but it will ease. Remember, he's always a phone call away, or as someone mentioned above, a quick plane trip away.

Certainly you need some emotional downtime to recover from the events of the last week. You've been through a lot coming out to your best friend, confirming he wasn't gay himself, and then him leaving for Las Vegas. But, after the dust has settled, what then? Where do you go from here?

For now, grieve your loss and reconcile his departure in your head. (*8*)
Click to expand...


Gentlemen..I am truly having such a hard time dealing with this..I know Im an emotional guy, perhaps too caring and too sensitive..but it hurt so very bad today..a million times more than I thought it would and was ready for..I was teaching a class and during my break it hit me and I cried..I called them 2 times while at work, and they were in the process of packing up to go..my heart hurt so bad..I should have been in on it too...It so much colder here and Im so much alone right now..these were my only two friends here...I dont know how to deal...Tonight will hurt so bad because I know I just cant ask him to hang if I want to, and that my buddy is gone...this is single handedly the worst thing I have ever been through...without question...I need advice..please..anything, brian
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Brian,

Go and watch a movie...A comedy or an action flick...stay away from romantic stuff. Chat with some people online...Hey, chat with the people on JUB. I'm about to go skiing, but if you want to chat later, PM me. I don't remember if you have a car...But if you do, go for a drive, park somewhere with a nice view and just watch. Go for a walk somewhere there's nice architecture and is well lit at night. Go inside an old church, museum, library (anything) that's open, and admire the architecture. Run and grab an ice cream cone. Do something fun! Do whatever you want, just keep yourself busy. When you think of your friend, don't dwell on his departure. Remember some of the memories of hanging out with him and rather than mourn his departure, long for the day you'll be reunited with him in Las Vegas. And it's not that far off, imo. 6 months? Please, it'll be here so fast...I'm trying to get life to slow down a little. But remember...don't spend all your time longing for the future...Use the future to help dull the pain of the present. But don't make the mistake of not living in the present because you're always longing for the future. So, use the past and the future to dull the immediate pain...But don't dwell so long on it, that life passes you by. I know you'll make out fine.

Cheers man.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

halubtsi said:
Brian,

I know you'll make out fine.

Cheers man.
Click to expand...


Thanks Hal..it is very hard..741 here on the east coast and I think im gunna watch the beginning of the grammy awards and then head off to bed..buddy is supposed to call later but since hes driving hell prolly be too busy..im in so much deep pain... :(
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

LV, after having described your friend to us...I doubt that he's going to be "too busy" to call you tonight. I wouldn't be surprised if he talked to you for hours...BUT, I suggest not talking to him for too long, just because he's got a lot of driving to do. Enjoy the grammys.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

We're here for you LV. You're never completely alone. I know this is tough. I love halubtsi's advice about getting out and doing something fun...go get an ice cream cone, or watch a good movie, or watch the grammies. In the coming days, distract yourself by doing fun things and being around people (even if you don't know them, go to a public place). Now is not the time to be physically isolated and alone.

Take care and report in often to let us know how you're doing. We care.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Oh well hell...see this is what i miss when i only pop in here every few days. this is an amazing thread. LostVegas i'm really sorry this is tearing you up. I've lost friends that moved away that i was really close with, but i'm not sure as close as you are with your buddy. So i think all i can say is i sympothise with you and if you're like the rest of us, it will be hard for many days but each day will be a little better than the last and in 1 year you'll be able to go down there and be with your friend(s). halubtsi and averageguy are right get out there and do something fun it's too hard to be alone with these sorts of things happen. you'll just end up obsessing over it...i know that all too well. i'll stay up on this thread i promoise. And averageguy is right we're here for you you're never alone even if we are just "vertual" friends.


(*8*)(*8*)(*8*)(*8*)(*8*)(*8*)(*8*)
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

LostVegas - It's been an intense week. You need to take good care of yourself and think about all the great and positive things that have happened in just a couple of days. Grieving is part of this process too. In some moment go back to your first message here and think where you are now. That's pretty impressive. halubtsi and averageguy have great suggestions to think about.

I'm so glad that you were able to talk to your best friend and made plans for a visit in a few months. Your best friend gave you his support and you guys were able to talk like the good friends you are.

Enjoy the grammys or whatever you're planning for tonight (some rest is not a bad idea either). Be strong and keep us posted.

(*8*) (*8*) (*8*)
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Hey guys...no call from him last night and when I got home today no message....it hurts a little but I know he's busy doing his thing going down there..so I dont want to bother him..it hit me a little less hard today but he was often on my mind..after all, we made plans months ago that WE both were going to do this..but life changes I suppose...the weekends used to hit me hard when he was here, so Im fully expecting the weekends to hit me much harder now..I miss having him around and seeing his face light up and laugh when I cracked a joke and I miss hearing him talk and just being in the same room with him...my heart will always miss and ache for him..maybe Ill put another update up If Im feeling a little lonely tonight...thanks for the responses Brian !oops!
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

I'm sure your buddy is doing fine and is busy with the driving. (I assume it's a 2 or 3 day drive) Long road trips are usually tiring and take a toll on the body.

As with most things, time usually helps ease the worries and the loneliness even though that isn't the answer you are looking for. Adjustments take time and you have a wonderful bond with your buddy that is so amazing that your friendship/bond will always be intact. :D

In the meantime, enjoy life and look for things that would interest you to help alleviate your loneliness or even catch up on work <--BOO! or Sleep <--YAY! considering the emotional and physical rollercoaster you've had this week. I'm rooting for ya! Take care of yourself. :wave:
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Hey guys, around 5pm eastern time here....I got too sad and called my buddy..the phone rang for a little and the machine picked up, left him a message..I hope hes doing good...ahhhhhhhhhhhhh it pains me to no end..this getting on with my life thing is pretty hard for me...Brian ](*,) !oops!
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Read the whole thread here, really really awesome. Great you told him, and its just special what you guys have.

I mean, look back at how that started. You signed up with a gym and from that you met an amazing friend.

You should not "move on", you should just understand what you have now. You thought he might be gay too, so there was a possibility of that too, now you know he is not, but that does not change all the other great things you have. So, take that, enjoy it, enjoy his friendship, enjoy the person he is. Tell him about your life and what you want to do, ask him about his, and be happy for each other, and help each other out in this journey.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

I am so sad. Some of you may be sick of hearing it. I think Im sick of typing it..But I cant stop feeling it.. I missed my buddy's call and he left me a message..He said the prepaid phone he got was crapping out..and that hes in Nebraska right now and he will call me when he gets to Vages...he paused and he said "I miss you a lot bri.." and I just lost it and I am losing it now..I want him back here now...Im not feeling well right now..I miss my buddy's presence so much it literally is hurting my gut...I dont know what to do..bri
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

bayern20 said:
You should not "move on", you should just understand what you have now . . . enjoy his friendship, enjoy the person he is. Tell him about your life and what you want to do, ask him about his, and be happy for each other, and help each other out in this journey.
Click to expand...

From an old fart, I just wanted to re-emphasize this wisdom!
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

LV, just let it all out. But once you've stopped crying, you need to make a conscious effort to stop dwelling on the impossible. Glad to hear that he made it safely to Nebraska, and at least now you know when he'll call you again.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

amazing story

hang in there man, distance will not affect this incredible relationship you two share.

Best wishes for you both
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Hey all..not really an update...just dropping in to say hello and thanks for the words and the kind things you have said...Im glad the topic here was able to touch some people and even though it was and is my pain and sadness, Im glad it provided good reading for you all....Second day since I have not seen my brother..and it still hurts me every second...I think we thought of each other as such soul mates that it doesnt feel whole without him..He told me many times that "I feel i cant go bri or even like it out there because a huge piece of my life will be still here"...I cry a little less, but my heart aches so very much..I have never had this kind of pain and fear before..when I heard his voice on the machine yesterday I cried with such intensity that my stomach hurt...it's Friday night..this will be hard for me...Im used to seeing him a lot on the weekends....Ill never forget when I went to say goodbye to him, he said "Well..I saved the best person Ill ever know for last.."..Hes such a good kid...and I think I might just burst into tears right now...I know a lot of you maybe stopped reading or caring so much about this thread after I finally came out to him and see these updates as trivial, but I guess I keep posting here because it hurts so much and I need to vent it out..anyway..thats all for now, Bri
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

I am one of those who have been avid followers of this thread, reading with interest, and concern, yet keeping my mouth (fingers) shut. You have been getting such great advice that I didn't feel I had anything more to contribute. And the "final result" definitely had me on the edge of my seat! I'm SO Happy that it went the way that it did!

But now is the time that Life moves on. And though the two of you will be apart, for a short time, it is now up to You to "cope", as well as possible, so You will certainly "Be There", for Him, and You, when "ReUnion Time" does roll around! (And that will be Sooner than You may think/feel right Now!)

I have friends that I haven't seen, nor in a lot of cases even been in touch with, for Years at a time. But, yet, when We do get back in touch, or better yet, Together, it's as though No Time has passed at all! And in Your case we're "talking" what? Maybe 6 mo. at the most? With practically "Guaranteed" Talking in the mean time?

I know it's not feeling like a "Good Thing" Right NOW! But ... and You'll have to Trust me on this ... Your BOND will be there as soon as You Two see each other again! No matter WHAT has, or has not, happened in the mean time!! :D ..|

What You DO have is something Rarer beyond Description. YOU, and HE, are Far Luckier than either of You probably realize! You have something to be Cherished ... by No means Regretted!

"Easy" Right NOW? Of course not! But WORTH enduring? ABSOLUTELY!!

So ... as my Friend Soilwork might say ... "Strap on a Pair!". Be "Good" to Yourself!! You really DO have SO Much to Smile, and be Happy about!! YOU have SO Much More to be Thankful for than SO Many of "Us" who have been following this!

Take Good Care, "Bro"!! (group)

And, of course, (Seriously!) ...

Keep smilin'!! :kiss: (*8*)
Ky ;)

P.S.
Definitely keep Posting! It can be a "Boon" for ALL!! :D
 
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