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Undying love for my best friend...please read(long

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Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Brian, Can you tell him what you feel for him without expectations? That's the bottom line, because he may not feel romantically toward you.

From what you've written, I don't think it'll change your relationship much - at the most a few awkward days. But honestly, I think he'll be relieved that your pulling away from him wasn't because everyone is telling you to pull away but that you were trying to get a grip on your feelings for him which may (or may not) be appropriate.

Either way, I think you're making yourself nuts worrying about this. What I would do (and since you know your situation better than anyone, only YOU can decide what you'll do) is get it over with and stop torturing yourself. If it goes either way you can finally move on with your life; but if you just keep playing these scenarios in your head, you'll just keep being stuck in the same place and you've already decided that you're not happy where you currently are. Good luck with this and let us know what YOU decide and how it goes!
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

O.K. Bri, you're moving forward bit by bit. Your idea of writing things down sounds good. I find when I don’t; I tend to leave out important information. But because of you intimate relationship with your 'buddy' I think a letter might be too impersonal. So I suggest this:
Write down ideas or your entire thought. Use that when you speak to him next.
It also might be easier after you've read it and/or heard yourself say it before you speak with him. And let him know when you call that there's some thing you need to get out in the open, and if he'd please just listen until you're finished. Again, though, my 2 cents.
Hang in there.

-LL
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

:D Ha I love your replies C Boy, thanks! oi oi oi


Got of the phone with my friend.

I was in a better mood today and he realized that. He said he was down and worried.

I kept changing the subject and he said he misses that about me. That no matter how bad things are, that I could always take his mind off of things for a while.

Matt called while I was on the phone and I put my buddy on hold. Came back a few later and my bro asked who that was..I said Matt...he goes he must like you very much..I go yeah. He said I need more confidence. He goes "Bri your a handsome guy, I always told you that about you, you need to have more confidence in yourself"..I go thanks bro.

He goes can I ask you a personal question? I said sure...He goes do you guys have sex sex...I go like he goes yeah..I go no not yet...he goes have you ever?...I said once...I said why..he goes Ii just want to make sure you are ok and doing the right thing..I worry about you.

He goes I know this sounds gay, but I love you to death and I dont care if my parents or friends or girl knows that. He kept saying he misses me very much and that nothing will change our friendship. I said bro you are getting all...Hallmark on my ass...and he goes I thought you were going to say I was getting all homo, but thats your job..and he said he loves me again.

He said if anyone ever hurts me physically or abuses me verbally that he would have to go to jail because he would do something bad to that person. He also says he doesnt care if his friends know that someone he considers his brother is gay and that hes proud of it.

He then had to go pick up his girl from work. We briefly talked about me adopting kids and then we had to go. He will probably call later.

I have no doubt that soon I will tell him. I also have no doubt that he will be ok with what I have to say to him and in an odd way it might being us closer. But that will be soon enough. I noticed when I am stronger and feeling positive, thats when he gets emotional with me because it gives him an out to feel down....Like when hes down Im up and vice versa...So I think by staying strong, he will open up to me more.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

LostVegas said:
I dont want out 3 hour calls to end. I dont want us to stop saying I mis you and I love you and I dont want him to stop getting emotional with me...Im afraid these things will end when I tell him because he might thing doing or saying these things is making me feel a certain way
Click to expand...

Then tell him that, as well...
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Bri ... you NEED to get all this out in the open, Man! If you truly Love, Trust, and Rely on "your buddy", as much as you profess, then it's High Time you hand Him your Heart with no strings attached! He deserves as much, and so do You!

And ... by the way ... does He have a first name? We know Your name, and Matt's, but only know Him by "your buddy", "your friend", "your bro"...

I know it's such a "small thing", but being able to put a Name to Him would also help "Us" get a little more of a "grip", and idea, ... oh ... I don't know ... I guess after all of this I'm just being curious! :confused:

HUGE HUGS, Man!! (group)

And ... of course ...

Keep smilin'!! :kiss: (*8*)
Chaz ("Ky") ;)
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Well for all of those wondering..My buddy's name is Andrew :-$ . I call him Andy most of the time :-) ...Bri
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

THANKS!, Bri! You've made me smile! Andrew ... "Andy" ... was not one of the names I was imagining for your "Italian Stallion" Bro! :rolleyes:

"Funny" how names can shape our perceptions, and how our perceptions can "concieve" certain names.

I, or rather "My" Kev and I, have a nephew named Anthony. And for some reason, when he was still just a cute little kid, his Mom (Kev's sister), and everyone else called him "Andy". I know ... not the "right" nick name, but he has always been "Andy" to most of us.

As he got older he decided he wanted to be called "Tony"! (Which would be "correct", given his proper name.) And though his friends had no problem with "Tony", his Family, including his brothers, seem to be a little uncomfortable with that.

Now, of course, since he's 18, tall, brown eyed, brown haired, and Strikingly Handsome, "Tony" really does fit Him perfectly! Eventhough He's Irish ... not Italian!

Perhaps "Your Bro", and "My" Nephew should trade names???

Don't really know where the Hell I'm going with this ... :help: :slap:

But, still ... my Very Best to You and Andy!! (group) :hurray: (!w!)

Keep smilin'!! :kiss: (*8*)
Chaz ;)
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Why don't you break him up with his girlfriend he moves back to new york with you and yall can start a lasting relationship.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

It's been a while since I posted in this thread, but I've been away. Anyway, I'm glad to hear that you're much more positive and confident then you were before. I'm also shocked , though not surprised, that you're going to tell Andy about your feelings for him. The reason I'm shocked is because just a few months ago, you weren't even going to tell him you're gay! I'm not surprised however, because JUB had that affect on me. Good luck to you Bri. Keep us posted.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Hal-long time no see, so glad you are back..I hope whatever had you away was for a good cause. Great to see you back bro! (*8*)


Anyway had a small talk with my buddy early this morning and we got to talking about what type of men I am interested in..I said I would love someone into watching and playing sports and someone who is very funny and mature and spontaneous..He goes..you seem to be into the masculine guys :twisted: ...I said definitely...He said sometimes he gets wierded out by the femme guys..I said like anyone, gays come in different packages..I said Im ignorant too sometimes and there are things about the gay life/culture I have issues with too...He asked about the other guys I have been with and how many times I had anal sex..
:sex:
I also later told him in the talk that even though I consider his girl like family and love her to death...that I wish he was single and that we could be roommates and he could play poker and I can teach and do stand up comedy on the side and we could do things that we like with no judgement from anyone..he said that would be cool and that sometimes he thought that too...


Anyway, thanks for the responses...brian

P.S. To the poster ok455, it not that easy, especially when you are close with both parties involved..and I respect my brothers relationship with his girl and would never, ever do anything to undermine that. My thoughts are my thoughts and sometimes Ii feel things..but I would never actively do that to my friend. [-X
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Ok so Im hijacking my own thread and veering so off topic on this one but I figure why not.


I would like to tell you this joke. Everytime I explain it to someone I start bustin my gut laughing and I cant get through it. :badgrin:

A seven year old boy is in court and about to be handed over to his father's custody because his mom beats him.

The boy says to the judge, "No you can't do that my father beats me too..."

The judge, appalled by this tells the boy "Ok then I shall grant full custody to your aunt..."

The boy, gasps, "My aunt? She beats me worse than my parents do!!.."

The judge, taken back by this also, says, "Well, then your grandparents shall give you a loving home.."

The boy answers back, "nope..they beat me too.."

The judge, out of options, retires to his chambers and comes out a half hour later and says, "Well son, ordinarily I wouldnt do this but since your family is so full of abuse..I shall let you pick who you would like to live with..."

The boy, pondering slightly, answers, "Well your honor..I would really like live with the NY Mets..."

The judge, half amused and equally perplexed, says "Ok son, but do you mind telling me why?"

The 7 year old answers..."Well..you se judge..way I see it..the NY Mets dont stand a chance of beating anyone..."

LMAO I laughed even typing it...hope everyone could get a laugh at that...Bri. :badgrin:

P.S.-Please dont bombard me with abuse is not funny, etc..It is just a joke..
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Ya know Brian, it makes me feel good to know that you're laughing and that you're not always down. Keep this up; its good for you.

Joe.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Thanks Lestat....Im not always down but when Im down its usually pretty bad. I have had a problem with depression since I could remember. From being molested and having such a shut in youth Im surprised I am where I am today.

Thats the whole reason I even came to know Andy...he helped me out and continues to help me through my depression. If I did not meet him, my life would be in a totally different direction and I might not even be here at all.

I used to hide in my attic as a kid. Run and hide when the phone or bell rang and pretended no one was home. I was so withdrawn I grew up thinking the shows I would watch on TV that had families were my own and I lost myself in my own little world... T go from that to where I am now, even though I go through depression still, is pretty good as far as I can see.

I just wanted to share with you all a short story that brings smile to my face...

When I lived in Vegas with my buddy and his girl..we were out on night gambling..and I just knew something bad had happened..sort of like a sixth sense type of thing...I told my buddy, bro..I dont feel good, I feel like something is going to happen...anyway we are all in the car and we get pulled over..he gets a ticket..and he goes I guess you were right buddy...I go no bro, I still feel it...well long story short...my mother left me a message when I got home and it said "to call me"...At that moment I knew my grandma died and sure enough that is what had happened.

I made plans to go home for a week for the funeral. My buddy was upset. He was close to his grandma too and felt my pain. But he didnt want me to go back to NYC. He was down and crying a lot when driving me to the airport....When I was down there for the week, we would talk all the time and I said how some things have changed in NYC and it was good to see some things again..he got scared that I was liking it again here...

The week was almost up and I called him saying "Bro...I really mis it here..Im going to stay here an extra week.." Needless to say he got down but little did he know I was returning to Vegas the very next day...I fly into Vegas and I call him from my cell...talking about NYC etc..All this while Im outside his front door..I ring his bell and he had to do a double take..he had the most shocked look on his face and gave me a big hug....it was of the best moments in our friendship..and he said he was genuinely shocked.

They took care of my dog while I was away and found out he cleaned my apt and did my laundry for me..

Everytime I think of this story it brings smile to my face..Peace..brian
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

i've been dealing with depression for a while too...

when i was in high school i stayed in my room and hid from everyone...

i immersed myself in video games and books and imagined myself in fantastical situations.

i'm trying to get myself out of it just like you are.

just want to say good luck, i know how awful and tough it is.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

LV, I would bet my left nut your buddy is just as in love with you as you are with him. You are so meant to be together, don't lose it by indecision. You can trust him, you know that you can. He's probably jealous of Matt and curious as hell. It couldn't be any more obvious, however I'm not sure you should tell him, so much as bring his ass back to Brooklyn and take him out to dinner. I'm serious, I would literally bet my left nut. HE LOVES YOU!!
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

I have to admit I'm a bit sauced right now. I read through you last posts and I shed a little tear. Except for the joke of course =] I, too, am glad you've a sense of humor about you. Though I have no advice as of now, keep up the chipper attitude!
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Hey whats up all.

Last night my buddy called and we both said we missed each other. He said I sounded different and did I have sex before he called. It told him yes and he said he could tell in my voice.

He asked me if I could help him out again with some money. He says he knows hes hurting me and that him and his girl always talk about paying me back when they have money.

He told me "Bri I know there are some things you dont tell me...I know sometimes you are secretly angry with me..about putting this all on you.."

I said "buddy..Im not angry at you..I have a lot of love for you.."

I told him that I need to move on too..I have a lot of things I am holding on to doing over here and my life is sort of on hold to help you out..I told him I dont mind helping him out..but do you really want me to support you anymore?

I told him that I invested a lot of money and time and emotion into our friendship and I always will...but now its time for me to invest all of that into someone whos going to be with me..someone I can grow old with.

I told him you already got the wife and the relationship etc..Now I need these things..he told me he'd call me back, he never did. Maybe Ill speak to him later tonight..talk to you all later..Brian
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Oh! ...

I think You just delivered Andy quite a JOLT of Reality, Bri! And more Power to You!! It was something that definitely needed to be spoken out loud. A Clarification of the entire situation. It seems you laid it out quite well, and in an Honest, straight forward, neutral, manner.

However, I'm pretty sure that it wasn't what Andy was expecting! He's probably very surprised, and even quite confused! He now has a LOT to ponder and reflect upon. I think you may have just ROCKED His World! He's going to be needing some time to completely wrap his brain around it all! Don't be too surprised if he may not call for a little while. He may be in a slight state of Shock.

What his reactions may be are hard to predict. Hopefully, he'll be able to absorb all you said, more than just your words, but also all the meanings behind them. His first instinct may be a feeling of major Rejection ... eventhough that wasn't your intent. But I'm fairly sure, given Time, he'll realize that Everything you just told him is, indeed, the Truth!

How he eventually takes this, once he's settled down, will likely shape the entire future of your relationship with him. The main thing is ... don't take his first reactions too seriously. Give him some "slack" to adapt.

Wishing YOU all the Very Best!!

And no matter what directions things may take from this point on out ...

Keep smilin'!! :kiss: (*8*)
Ky ;)
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Kyanimal said:
Oh! ...

I think You just delivered Andy quite a JOLT of Reality, Bri! And more Power to You!! It was something that definitely needed to be spoken out loud. A Clarification of the entire situation. It seems you laid it out quite well, and in an Honest, straight forward, neutral, manner.
Click to expand...
My thoughts exactly. Great job, and I hope you stick to your guns on this. ..| (*8*)
 
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