Undying love for my best friend...please read(long

[hotspot]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Brian...please don't disappoint us.......take the plunge and be a man. The reason why we're cheering you up to the point of pushing you hard is because we care. Tell him!!!!
"Andy, I love you". You have an army of guys here giving you moral support.

 

[cumluv]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Hey Bri, Tell him you love. I agree with everyone deep down he is in love with you.

 

[halubtsi]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

lmao righto righto. well i know of this spanish or sumfin song about a dude falling in love with his best mate. i'll post it and make the necesary translations. thers fair bit of it's english anyways, try 2 make sense of it. ill put these on the ones im not sure of.

Dude, this is Filipino. Not Spanish.

Brian...no update and it's 8:30am where I am! I hope you took the plunge! I sincerely hope you did.

 

[CGHJ]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Perfect song, awesome translation lil_c_boy...couldn't be more perfect. And yeah it's Brian singing about Andy, not the other way around. I mean they both could be...but Andy has known about Brian for a long time now, and Brian is just now realizing that his dream will come true, if only he has the balls.

I sure hope he had the balls. I can't even sleep worrying about this.

 

[CGHJ]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

You said you were dropping hints, but dude, he was handing you openings! What do you want him to do, BEG you to tell him?

Seriously...in fact, in my book, he has. Andy has done everything but sent the hallmark card that says "Brian, I know you're gay, so am I, I love you too, together forever". It's prolly in the mail.

In fact, as I have said before...soon Andy is going to get the hint the Brian doesn't like him and give up. He's risking his relationship with his girl and with Brian to tell Brian he loves him...and Brian always changes the subject. A guy can only hold out hope for so long before he faces reality.

One would have expected and update by now...hopefully it's because they were on the phone making plans until 5 am.

 

[halubtsi]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

YEAH! its filo or spanish im not sure! but yeah one of those. theyre my heritage. thanks halibuts!

, hear frm ya soon Bri bud

That's cool. I'm of Filipino heritage, too, but with a Spanish last name.

Brian, it's now 3:52pm. I waited impatiently all day at school for an update! And still nothing! Just joking buddy, I hope things are good. God I hope you're just too happy to post an update!

 

[CGHJ]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

In a perfect world, Brian would have the confidence to know that he should call in sick to work, get on a plane, and go to Vegas. If I found out that either of the two guys that I gave as examples was really in love with me and was heartsick cuz I wasn't there, I'd be on that plane so damn fast your head would spin. I'd be out on the tarmac helping load the luggage. Fuck, I'd walk there if I had to.

You did tell him, right Brian? Cuz if you didn't, the time to tell him is right now. The boy is heartsick with love for you, I hope he knows you feel the same way by now, so you can start your new lives together. I wish that it was as obvious to you as it is to us!

This is all I can think about! I can't even get any work done anymore. It's just going to be so amazing when they finally both realize that the other feels the same way they do.

 

[Kulindahr]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Brian, I'm right there with these other guys, waiting, not quite biting my nails. I've been following this thread from the start, and I can't believe you didn't tell him AGES ago! Seriously, man, he is BEGGING you to tell him, scared to hear it, scared to NOT hear it, scared you're backing off. You know about the money? I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't need the money desperately at all, but what he needs is YOU, and the money is a connection that says, "Bri hasn't ditched me". Why do I think that? Because I've frakking DONE it! When the person you want to be close to is shuffling around, making confusing noises, hiding something, a guy fears the WORST, and will grab at whatever he thinks he CAN get in order to keep from despair.
Honestly, my gut feeling is you've got a very worried and scared buddy there who thinks you're dancing around the issue of leaving him for Matt, but is hoping to hear, "I love you so much I want to spend my life with you". Couldn't you see the openings he gave you? Like I said, Andy is BEGGING you to tell him! Even if it's "It's over", he wants to KNOW, and dragging it out like this is torture. I'm about at the point of saying you owe him an apology for the stress of keeping this from him when he knows you have something really important to say. He's TOLD you he knows there's something you're not saying, and whether he's gonna admit it or not, every day that goes by that you DON'T tell him is like a sharp dart in his side that hangs there causing pain and dragging him down.
I feel like a coach again, saying this, but GET WITH THE PROGRAM! You're keeping a secret from the best friend I've almost ever heard of, and he knows it, and it's hurting both of you -- and I don't mean it's causing emotional pain, I mean it's screwing up the way you think and feel about each other, whether you know it or not, and that's just raw truth.

Enough lecture. If I was there with you I would gently beat you over the head, put the phone in your hand, and torture you with jabs and pokes till you dialed the silly thing and told him. And once you did, I'd say let's go have a steak, get drunk, dance, and celebrate, because whatEVER the outcome, you'll have healed the wound you're causing by not being open.

Frak, if I could only afford a plane ticket!

 

[CGHJ]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Kulindahr, well said. I was just a couple posts away from saying the same thing. You owe Andy a BIG apology for putting him thru this, it's been way harder on him than you know. He sounds so awesome pretty soon I'm gonna fall in love with him. Unfortunately, the only person he loves in the whole world is you. I've never even heard of someone being so in love with someone.

You're drivin' the poor guy crazy!

K used the right word--he's in despair he loves you so much!

 

[GayBoiJared]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

I swear, if Brian doesn't post something soon, I'm gonna go crazy, I have been checking back like every 30 minutes since his last post.

 

[CGHJ]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Yeah, pretty soon I'm going to be in despair

I wish there was some way it could like buzz my cell phone when he posts. I literally have the page up permanently in the background as I work and I keep refreshing.

 

[halubtsi]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say that Bri owes Andy an apology. After all, both can be accused of ambiguity. And I really can't blame Brian for the way he's acting either. When you're in love, you tend to see things that aren't there...Can Brian be blamed for being cautious? Yes, it's so very obvious that there is requited love here...but I think Brian still believes in his mind that he's imagining everything.

I don't know if this is going to help...but I remember this one quote that I think is quite appropriate.

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Brian, if you read this...and you haven't done so already...Go for it. The two of you are too intelligent for your own good. Let your imaginations triumph.

 

[CGHJ]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Let me rephrase...I think it would be good for their relationship for Andy to hear an apology. No matter how it came about, I think it's been a lot of hardship for Andy and I think he will have emotional scars that Brian won't even realize are there. Trust issues especially...

In fact, I think that may be Brian's biggest problem, not admitting that he loves, but admitting that he lied to him. Remember, in the absence of honesty Andy has been free to make up all kinds of horrible things in his mind that won't be easy to clear up. There's some healing, as well as some loving that needs to occur. But they so need to get on with it...both of them are going to be miserable until they can figure out how to be together.

 

[cumluv]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Hey Bri, Could you please update soon. It's kill me not knowing what going on. I
Ps.. I wish they had a begging smile

 

[CGHJ]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Hey lil_c...no of course I can't blame him, it's hard of course...I just want brian to understand that this whole thing has prolly been much harder on Andy, and he needs to take that into account or it's going to be baggage on their new relationship.

It's what killed my first relationship, not that he wasn't in love with me, but that I was and didn't trust him enough to tell him. I thought the pain was all mine and it was eventually his pain that tore us apart. Like Andy, he tried over and over again to be with me...and I just refused to believe that anything so wonderful could be true. My buddy, unlike Andy, actually was straight, and had to deal with the fact that he liked a guy, which really fucked him up. It tore us apart, from inseperable brothers to mortal enemies, in the space of 3 months. The crash came like a week after he offered to go to a gay bar with me, I thought I had all the time in the world, but I never noticed the pain I was causing him. Eventually we became bros again because we could never stay mad at eachother forever...but by then he was over me and eventually we drifted apart because of all the pain I had caused him. I just couldn't stand it if the same happened here. Not on my watch!

You're right though, he needs good encouragement too...you play good cop I'll play the bad cop

I choose to believe however that the fact that we haven't heard anything means they must be talking right now, hopefully because they have a lot to talk about!

 

[LostVegas]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Hey guys.

Last night he called back and I missed his call because I fell asleep. Sometimes I can be a deep sleeper and I slept through the phone ringing. I got his message in the morning.

I called him today twice and left a message.

He called me back.

Reading all of your support for me and my situation that you guys have left me in the past few hours/days really makes me want to cry when I read them.

I apologize to you all if you are looking for a happy ending. But my phone call today with my buddy didnt go to well.

When he called I sounded miserable. I immediately said I NEED you to come back to NYC...I dont know why you left...you could have stayed here, etc.

This went on for a a little while until he said "You think your problems are bad? You want to know whats been bothering me all this time the past few weeks?? Huh..do ya? Well my girl had to go get an abortion because we are not ready to have a baby yet......" And you cannot tell anyone I told you that, my mother, my girl..no one.

I was like WTF?

To be honest..if I could tell you my honest feelings...I feel like such a bad person saying this..But my first thoughts were sadness and anger..not for his situation but for mine..because obviously his problem bothering him, totally was out of left field of what I though..and secondly this must have obviously meant they had sex to that point. I know, I know..Immature...

I started to get angry..I said "well I still got my fucking problems over here..and I am just going to give up and I just cant take it anymore..I told him I hate who I am and why I was born this way..."

I got heated and talked more about him leaving and how things are all fucked up now..

He goes I know you are a in a tough spot...he goes "you know what I think your problem is? You are in love with Matt and you cant tell anyone about because you are not out to anyone..."

I said fuck that I dont care who thinks what about me anymore...im tired of everything and I feel like just giving up and staying here in NYC...

He kept daying "if thats what you need to do to make you happy you do it..and bria I want you out here but you have to do whats best for you.." Then I exploded...Im not your patient..im not a kid..dont tell me what to feel...you know I need to be out there so why are you acting all calm and shit..he said he is heart broken about the whole thing..


The conversation was eventually all one sided as he shut up and let me vent....I was so tight and heated from this all.

I heard stuff I did not want to hear.

I said "well your money is there go pick it up" and I hung up adbruptly. (I had wired him money before I called him)

My feelings are hurt..I do feel like giving up. I do not know what to do. I guess I need to put him out of my mind..but it is hard.


Im a pussy and I had no balls. Yeah I should have said I loved him but lets be honest..besides getting it off my chest..theres nothing that is going to come of it anyway.

Then after I got off the phone with him..things started to sit with me...and I got even MORE angry..

An abortion!?!?? What do abortions cost nowadays??? They have no insurance....does it cost anything??? If so then I assume he used money I sent him to do that...and for him to even get himself in that position when he is out there is irresponsible....


I dont feel I Andy an apology,,in a odd way I feel he owes ME one....I feel hurt and my heart is broken..he said "is there anything I could do to help you through this?"..and I go no bro this is something that I got myself into...


I hurt so bad right now..brian

 

[CGHJ]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

I give up. You need to move on and let Andy get on with the rest of his life bro.

This is exactly what between me and the first buddy. You're on your way to a huge and unbelievably painful breakup.

I didn't feel like I owed my buddy an apology either. Look where it got me...a lifetime of staring at his picture on my desk. 10 years later and I haven't had a relationship since...cuz of course I compare everyone to him. The only dude that ever came close was the second guy...which I didn't fuck up because by then I had learned my painful lesson. But since we can't be together (at least, since I was honest with him, we never fought and stayed friends), I am still alone because no one will ever come close to Sam, my one true love.

If I had just one wish in the whole world, it would be to go back and apologize to my buddy. Do it now, or do it never.

Not only have you won the lottery and you refuse to believe that there's $200 million in cash right in front of your _______ face, the janitor is about to take off with your winnings, and soon it will be too late forever and you'll have nothing but regrets.

However, in restrospect, it turned out good for me. Instead of always going after my friends because I was insecure, I learned to go out to bars. I learned to get on with my life. in the end it was good for me.

I could translate your most recent conversation too but I think it's prolly better for Andy if you just move on. Oh sure, he loves you and wants to be with you, and he's as jealous of the fact that you're with Matt as you are that he's HAVING SEX WITH HIS FIANCEE (WTF did you think they were doing? Why do you think they're not ready to have a baby? Why do think he's upset, he's got all this fallout from his fiancee that he doesn't want to be with...and you don't love him, he's crushed!!!!). But all you're gonna do is hurt him if you keep this bullshit up, so get over it, learn to love Matt as much as Andy thinks you do, and then in 10 years you can look back and realize that perfection was yours and you blew it.

YOU hurt so bad, YOU hurt???!!! You selfish little...I can't even stand it.

PS, this is exactly what I was talking about...Andy is in serious pain, which caused him to lash out, and then Brian got angry in response, all because Brian can't be honest with Andy. Andy has finally realized that Brian doesn't love him, Brian loves Matt, here Andy wants to be with Brian but has to deal with an abortion instead which is sucking down their money, and he's stuck in this awful situation, and then Brian gets madder for what reason Andy can't possibly fathom...now they're going to be fighting and not even over the same thing.

You're about to learn a very big life lesson about honestly and love Brian, one that you will never, ever forget as long as you live. It's either going to be that honesty brings happiness, or that dishonesty brings misery.

If you can't call up Andy and apologize right now, beg him for forgiveness, and tell him that you love him...then that's a lesson you need to learn and learn the hard way.


I have to say it amazes the fuck out of me though, that you are actually going to choose to be alone and miserable, choose to stay in New York, choose to ignore the beautiful love story I've ever seen...and put the most wonderful person I've ever heard of out of your mind. Your choice, your pain that you get to live with forever and for the rest of your life, but if you love your buddy so much you never want to see him again...then you're prolly too messed up in the head to be happy with him anyway.

I just feel so bad for Andy, cuz he has to go thru the rest of his life thinking that you don't love him, and that's gonna hurt. And now the girl has to have an abortion, and who knows where he's gonna get the money now that you won't be speaking anymore...everything is collapsing around him. I wish I could be there to comfort him.

 

[Gambit]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

hi, i've been reading this tread from the begining
you are too afraid of changes!!

you know that when you'll tell him that you're in love with him everything will change... it might go all good, or might go all bad... you're more comfortable in this situation than to adapt to the truth of life.... make an end to the "but if he is straigt, but if, but if...."
face the truth!!!

you can still continue hiding from the truth, but someday or another you have to face it...


goodluck.

 

[halubtsi]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Brian...Seriously. Don't rationalise your reasons for not telling Andy. You backed out because you were scared. There's no shame in being scared. But there is shame when you let your fear dictate your life.

I don't have any regrets in my life, and I don't plan to either. The fact of the matter is that you really love Andy. You want to be with him. But you're not going to do anything about it. You're not even going to bother to see if there's a chance. This is going to be one of your biggest regrets, Brian...and I feel sorry for you.

I'd continue to press you forward, but I don't think anything I say is going to encourage you any further. There's only so much that I, and the rest of the JUB community who've been contributing to this thread, can do. The rest is up to you. We can't do it for you.

Tell Andy you love him or don't tell him at all. If you choose the latter, don't complain about how you hurt. Don't complain about how your heart is broken and how much you want to be with him. Don't complain about anything with regards to Andy. You already know what will make the hurt stop, but you're too worried about the "what ifs" to do it. So stop worrying about the future and live in the present.

 

[CGHJ]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Yeah, how is hearing "I don't love you" going to possibly worse than just leaving him behind because you're too scared? Hello?