Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(
KY
Thanks so much for those kind words.
Now...I came home from work today. I had to go see my uncle in the rehab center he was at...and when I came home I passed out an took a little nap. So I was running a tad behind. I woke up, shaved and showered, got dressed and called Andrew to see what we were doing.
He was in the car, with his best man and his friends. I said whats doing. He said, "Oh I was out with my friends, and we are going to such and such place now..."
He goes, "I hope I get a chance to see you at the wedding Sunday...I hope I get to see you..."
I was like ummmm what about right now? Like we planned? And he is like bro, you should have called me like you said you were going to. I explained my situation. I go oh ok I see its my fault that we are not hanging now, I see. I go, you know what, that's cool. You do what you got to do.
I go oh Andrew, where IS your wedding anyway, seeing as you have not even told me yet. He told me where it was...and then he goes, well you got the invitation it said it on there...I also let that go. He full well knows I didnt get the invite...but you know what...he was in the car with his friends...and I KNEW he was being fake, because like ALWAYS, when he is around people and I speak to him, he CANNOT be himself.
Anyway...this all happened so so quick...and before you knew it..I was off the phone with him saying, "I guess I might see you Sunday.."
Latoya had called me just as I hung up with him and I told her what happened. And she goes, "See..he is playing games with you..he knew full well for two whole days that you set aside thursday to chill with him and he was purposely with friends, hoping you would call.."
And of course..I knew she was right.
Then my anger hit. I hung up with Latoya. I called Andrew..he was in the car with his loser friends. I go, "Yeah Andrew I think this would be the best time to tell you that I have no intentions on going to your wedding."
He is like WHY? I go because of what has been going on and the shitty way you have handled my friendship. I was supposed to be your best man, you picked someone else. There was no thought to put me in the wedding party. You have not, until today, told me where your wedding is...
Not only am I not going Sunday...but I think I am done with our friendship. No, in fact, I know I am done with our friendship...I want you, from the bottom of my heart, to have a great time sunday...and to have all the love, success, health and happiness in the rest of your life. "
Because he is in the car with his macho buddies, and because he cant have a confrontation with me in front of them, because they would be let in on personal shit..he goes "Ok, if that is what you want..."
"And I go yeah, for a very long time now...goodbye Andrew."
I go hang out with Latoya, because a weight lifted in me some.
On my way to her house...there was a 1% part of me that was re thinking the phone call I just placed. And then the 99% of me thinks of the pain and it helps me move on.
Knowing Andrew, I KNEW tonight, that my call wasnt the last time I would hear from him.
In fact, after a while of driving around and getting coffee, he called. Latoya goes, "who is that?" I go, take a guess..and she goes, "you know I was sitting here wondering when he was going to call..we both knew that was coming..."
So for the fuck of it..and at this stage in the game IT IS just for the fuck of it...I get the call that I knew I was going to get...he was at his friends house, in the bathroom calling me...of course AWAY from his friends.
He asked me why I was so mad and why Im not going to anything Sunday and how sad he is about all of this.
I told him I am pissed off royally. I told him about the wedding stuff I am pissed off at.I said it was shitty of you to DIS invite my guest that I had planned to bring..and he goes well she wanted to come for the wrong reasons...I go she wanted to come to support ME, so it was all for the right reasons.
I told him about waiting 4 days to call me after he got to NYC...I told him that I finally set aside a fucking night to chill with him and he stood me up for friends he has been seeing 11 days now...
He goes I have been trying to see you but you keep avoiding me..I go AVOIDING YOU? I go Andrew I HAVE to fucking work..I am not HERE on vacation and la dee da like fucking you...this is where I LIVE...I had plans with people way before you got into town..I have work and the times you called me I had genuine plans or were sleeping. I go Im fucking 31 yrs old I got no time to be playing games with you like that.
He goes, well what about yesterday when I ask to use your bathroom, you were avoiding me...I go fuck yeah..you have not seen me in a year and a half but you re going to call me and ask to use my motherfucking bathroom? He goes it wasnt about that, I just needed to see you.
I go you expect me after a year and half of not seeing you and being mad at you, to suddenly be at your wedding and make like things are fine.
I go Andrew I am tired of being your dirty little secret on the side. You cant talk to me when others are around..I feel second fiddle to everyone in your life...two days before you came here you tell me you wish I was in your head to see how close you hold me in your heart...and you CONSISTENTLY do everything to NOT show that.
He said he was mad and jealous and having a hard time dealing with things. I go what hard time? He goes..Im stressed...I go about what..he goes life...and this wedding..I go Andrew what does that have to do with me?
I then finally go...PLEASE DONT GET THIS TWISTED...I am NOT saying all this to you because Im not your best man or in your wedding or because you didnt call me when you got to NYC...I go Im not 12..I can move on from those things.
I go it is because you have made no amends to make our friendship right. You have not paid me back shit...and you continue at the same time to treat me like shit...and I am totally done with it. I am NOT going to your wedding, but not to spite YOU, but rather for ME.
I go Im out driving and about to pick up a friend(Latoya was already in my car) and I said I have to go...he goes you going to be up late? I go Im hanging out then going home and going to sleep, I have WORK(and there he goes again, keeping me as his little secret, wanting to call me LATER WHEN HE IS ALONE).
He goes, I will call you later...I go Andrew, Ill be sleeping.
Latoya had to laugh because she saw it coming. She said it is hard to get poisonous people out your life..and right now Andrew is going crazy because this is probably the first time he has been rejected by someone in his life..and because he totally needs you in so many ways.
She said that if he called me tonight, that that would be the call that will be either him crying or being totally real with you and depressed because his guard will be down because no one will be around.
She said that because I have a heart and a big one, that I am probably feeling bad about not going to his wedding, because after all is said and done, he was a friend. I told her yeah a little. She said that is cool, you are human...she even told me to go if that would make me feel better. I told her no it wouldnt..so she supported me in that choice.
We drove around some more and I came home...
~~~Bri~~~
