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Undying love for my best friend...please read(long

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Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

Hey Brian...hope you're in a good place. I've been following the thread for while, but never posted. I couldn't add to the great advice you've gotten from Nihilis, Kyanimal and Rareboy ..but it just blew me away the wedding was Saturday.
Latoya sounds like such a great supportive friend, I'm happy she is there for you. You're feelings on this issue have come such a long way since the beginning of this thread, I know you'll be successful in getting through this.
Best of luck!..|
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

I had to go back another page to verify that Andrew actually told you the wedding was Sunday. Man, if there was still any shred of doubt about his intentions, you now know that he did not want you to be at the wedding. On top of being a manipulating narcisist (and probably a severe closet case), he's a lying asshole. You are lucky to have him out of your life. Keep it that way.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

Thanks for the supporting comments everyone.

So I am speaking to you from a very cold, windy, evening here in Brooklyn...god I love this weather.

Anyway...have not heard from him since our talk on Thursday night. It is clear to me that he either got the message or is trying to get back at me by not talking to me(I truly think it is the latter).

Whichever the case, I really doubt I will be hearing from him for a long, long while.

The past two days have been surprisingly easy to handle as will the next and final two days.

There is a small part of me that is mourning that it is finally over and that I will not be seeing him or hearing from him in a long while. Like it or not, he was in a few ways, a really good friend to me. He was the one person that asked me about my depression, the one that made me more confident in situations, and for whatever reasons, the one that started to get me out of my depression.

It's tragic that the bad things and the bad treatment he gave me at times outweighed all that. We had a unique friendship. There is an ounce of me that believes we might meet again or talk down the road...but as for me...for right now...I have healing to do. I have a lot of moving on for me to do. I have growing up to do. It is my hope, that he is doing the same.

It will be hard to see certain things, especially Vegas, without thinking of him. And I know there will be many times where he will be in situations that make him think about me. But I hope to not forget him, just that some days, when the pain is there it is easier to deal with.

I had given thought to end the thread and I think in a few more months I will do just that. I do however want to keep it open and post a tad bit more to show you pics of me, my apt, my car..and basically how my life has moved on. I know, not the most interesting of things, but I think I am doing it more for me..as a book end to this thread. Perhaps, to show others going through my situation, that it all doesnt always end like some cheap porno...but nor does it end in complete disaster.

So you will be hearing from me soon...thanks to all of you who have helped me through this no matter what advice you gave. Thanks to those who signed up just to comment, those who posted once and bailed, those who stuck through it all, and most importantly, those who have just simply read. THANKS~Brian



Over You

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

Wow! :=D:

Did you compose that?

What wonderful clarity through all of this!

Can I quote that? It more clearly identifies with my personal loss and rewards, more than anything I've read so far.

(*8*)
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

I appreciate your comments farmer but alas they are not my words...they belong to Chris Daughtry...but I quoted it because I really connected with the song.

~~~Bri~~~
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

WOW! This "little adventure" certainly seems to have, finally, come full circle!

Brian ... I can't tell You how much I am impressed with the way You have managed to get yourself through it all! AWESOME!!

Of course, it isn't completely "over with", yet! But ... as 'Bama has said ... yes!, You've reached a point where You can finally "Move On"!! ..|

Does that mean the final ending of this Thread? Perhaps that would be a "Good Thing". Then again ... "We" are all still interested in You, and how You are doing!

So ... should You decide to end this one ... Please start another one ... and let "Us" know what it is. Perhaps "Moving On"???

Or ... keep this one going. It certainly is a fantastic story that, I'm sure, countless JUBbers will find helpful, educational, and encouraging!

In any case ... don't forget about those promised pics! And, looking forward to further conversations with You, and Nihilis, and Rareboy, and EVERYONE else who has participated here! (group)

Wishing YOU, Latoya, and even Dante, ALL the Very Best!!!

And ... no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!! :kiss:(*8*)
Chaz ;)

I'm also wishing good things for Andy ... but I seriously doubt if he's ever going to realize them! Quite a sad case! ](*,)
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

(*8*)(*8*)(*8*)KY(*8*)(*8*)(*8*)


Thanks as always for your kind words of inspiration, it put a smile on my face today....Happy Baby Mama's day ya'll.






~~~Bri~~~..|
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

can somebody update me on this thread icdont want to read two years full of posts :s
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

Wow, i don't think I've been to this site in a year and this thread was STILL going lol. Anyway, Good luck in your future!!!
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

can somebody update me on this thread icdont want to read two years full of posts :s
Gay man falls hard for straight best friend. They have a strong connection with one another - like soulmates.

Straight best friend is really straight, sends ambiguous signals, treats gay best friend like shit, and borrows lots of money from gay best friend, who never gets paid back. Gay best friend is the emotional pillar for straight best friend. Vice versa actually, but things start to shift as gay best friend continues to sacrifice for straight best friend who continues to take and never gives back emotionally or financially.

Straight best friend is a dreamer, ambles aimlessly through life, and moves to Vegas with fiancee - with hopes that the gay best friend will move from New York also, thus making straight best friend's life 'complete'.

Amidst all of this turmoil, gay best friend starts traveling down the road of recovery and realizes that the key to life is to love oneself and be loved also. In the meantime, straight best friends expectations of gay best friend remains the same - if not higher.

Tension builds as the wedding of straight best friend approaches. Gay best friend never receives an invitation - nor is he a part of the wedding party. Things come to a head, gay best friend is honest with straight best friend and lays friendship on the line because no effort has been made by straight best friend to express any kind of remorse towards a friendship that has been milked dry by straight best friend.

There has been no contact between the two since the blowout, and gay best friend did not attend the wedding.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

^ Excellent "recap", Texan! ..|

Brian ... would you agree? :cool:

Keep smilin'!! :kiss:(*8*)
Chaz ;)
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

Yeah I would say that is a good cliff note version of the way things went down...|

On a side note, it's sad to see the last 2-3 years of my life summarized in 3 paragraphs. !oops! :-)

Anyway just an update...I have barely even given thought to the events of two weeks ago, in fact oddly enough, Andrew and things have never been less on my mind.:-)

Hope all is well with you guys...big ups to California:=D: and yay for Ellen...love her(*8*).

~~~Bri~~~
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

Yeah I would say that is a good cliff note version of the way things went down...|

On a side note, it's sad to see the last 2-3 years of my life summarized in 3 paragraphs. !oops! :-)


Anyway just an update...I have barely even given thought to the events of two weeks ago, in fact oddly enough, Andrew and things have never been less on my mind.:-)

Hope all is well with you guys...big ups to California:=D: and yay for Ellen...love her(*8*).

~~~Bri~~~

lol, if not summarized in 3 paragraphs, there would be mountains of pages ....
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

Well I do not know how to say this other than...I was sitting here typing up lesson plans for this week...when my cell, which was right next to me rang.

It was Andrew. My heart skipped a beat. I was like WTF?

I didnt answer.

I do admit to being VERY tempted to pick up. I wonder what he had to say?

I for sure thought I wouldnt hear from him for another year or two, but here we are just two weeks later lol.

~~~Bri~~~
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

I for sure thought I wouldnt hear from him for another year or two, but here we are just two weeks later lol.

Yeah, it's just a game to try to keep you on the hook. Fuckin' manipulative asshole. Good for you for not answering.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

If there's a message, delete it. Now. Without listening to it. You're better than that. :)

Lex
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

I called it a night tonight and Andrew called me again. I ignored it. He called another two times...ignored them again. Last t ime he left a message. I just had to check, was too curious.

Acted like nothing went on....said he knows that I am angry with him and he misses talking to me and hearing my voice...etc..etc...etc.

Is it just me? I had every right to be mad at him and skip his wedding...but wouldnt you, if you were him, at this point be thinking..

a. He skipped my wedding, and I am pissed at him or
b. Man, he missed my wedding, he must be serious about ending shit, let me just leave it alone and move on..

Why call me? why NOW? Two weeks after? He also had said he starts work tomorrow in a bank and is getting his GED very soon and then will start to become a cop in Vegas...

Just amazing.

~~~Bri~~~
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

I called it a night tonight and Andrew called me again. I ignored it. He called another two times...ignored them again. Last t ime he left a message. I just had to check, was too curious.

Acted like nothing went on....said he knows that I am angry with him and he misses talking to me and hearing my voice...etc..etc...etc.

Is it just me? I had every right to be mad at him and skip his wedding...but wouldnt you, if you were him, at this point be thinking..

a. He skipped my wedding, and I am pissed at him or
b. Man, he missed my wedding, he must be serious about ending shit, let me just leave it alone and move on..

Why call me? why NOW? Two weeks after? He also had said he starts work tomorrow in a bank and is getting his GED very soon and then will start to become a cop in Vegas...

Just amazing.

~~~Bri~~~

curious, how much money did he owe ?
he still remember oweing you money and might give you back when he have the money.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

I know without meeting him that he is a pathological egotist and probably can't even absorb the idea that he isn't in control of the situation. While he continually fucks up with his work, I'm sure that as long as he has control over one or two people, he feels powerful.

In some ways, he still is exerting control, because it appears that you are still not able to avoid listening to his messages or tallying how many times he might call.

It is your choice but I would suggest that it is Time for Freedom. Time to change your cell number to demonstrate to him that you are serious about not letting him intrude on your life anymore.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

^ Most likely true. He sounds like guys who say "Every girl I have sex with ends up being a psycho bitch", without recognizing that it's probably their own behavior that drives them to it.

Change the number.

Lex
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

I know without meeting him that he is a pathological egotist and probably can't even absorb the idea that he isn't in control of the situation. While he continually fucks up with his work, I'm sure that as long as he has control over one or two people, he feels powerful.

In some ways, he still is exerting control, because it appears that you are still not able to avoid listening to his messages or tallying how many times he might call.

It is your choice but I would suggest that it is Time for Freedom. Time to change your cell number to demonstrate to him that you are serious about not letting him intrude on your life anymore.

A-frackingmen. This dude is toxic with a capital T.

Call your mobile carrier today, and get it changed. Reading this thread always brings that Tammy Wynette song "Stand By Your Man" into my head and I picture a Jerry Springer episode with the cast of characters up on stage, with one of them shouting with the worst southern accent and 2 missing teeth, "But I luvs him. He my man", as he's skanking around with 10 other people. And yes, I've been there too, I know how it feels. Maybe that's why this thread is painful for me to read. Reminds me too much of my early 20's.

It's kinda like watching a dog returning to its vomit to re-eat.

Seriously dude, get this guy out of your life for good. If he owes you money, chalk it up to charity. Having any contact with him simply isn't worth it, even if he does owe you a ton of $$$.
 
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