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What are your Porn Pet Peeves?

Sideways videos. I wish those guys would learn how to use their cellphone cameras properly.
 
Where do I begin?

1. Actors who cannot pretend to enjoy the sex. Goddammit, they have to appear horn dogs who can't control themselves, not workers following scripted procedures like a telemarketer on her first day.

2. Too much foreplay. You know when they lick ass for minutes and minutes? If I lick a cute young bubble butt for more than a minute I want to fuck it. If my ass is licked for more than a minute I need a big cock up it asap.

3. Music instead of sex sounds. Unless it was filmed in a disco and the music is the actual music from the disco. But even then I want to hear them fuck as well.

4. Too much talk. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh. Oh fuck. Yeah. Give it to me. Give it to him. Give it to that slut. Yeah. Fuck him. Breed him. Shoot your load inside. You like that, huh? Fuck Yeah! Etcetera. Even worse is when they don't speak their native language. You know the porn where gringos speak broken Spanish with actors from Brazil (no, really) or where Slovaks talk English to each other in a classroom. I don't mind a few phrases in Slovak, Czech or Hungarian before they start fucking.

5. Desperate attempts at a bit of a storyline. Unless you're JD Cadinot, you're likely to fail. Big time.

6. Porn actors who don't go all the way. And by this I mean that they have to kiss, suck, fuck and shoot inside or swallow.

7. Studio porn that imitates amateur smartphone clips. You know, tilted cameras, bros walking through the room, your average fake frat house.

8. Porn in which anyone who happens to be black has to play the straight-out-of-jail thug and every latino is a unilingual taco-selling wetback papi. I remember a clip of a white guy getting fucked by a few black men who were called 'thugs' in the trailer. But the white guy was wearing an ankle monitoring device! And no-one ever called him a thug! I hate SJWs, but this was offensive to me.

9. See post #22 and #25. Those guys nailed it.

10. Twentysomethings playing high school pupils. Priests with tattoos. Soccer players built like former weightlifters. Wrestlers who look like they just spent a month in the ICU after ODing on heroin once again. Policeman with a gay lisp. Anything Armond Rizzo squeals in his helium cartoon movie voice.

Now, I'd prefer to talk about the many things I DO like in porn, mind you.
 
Scenes whuch have one outstanding guy, but the producer puts him in a scene with a number of less attractive, hairy, guys and the best one gets lost in the crowd.
 
Where is the bush? Why do guys shave their pubes?
 
Fake cum.

The eastern Europeans have destroyed entire genres with Manbuttered.com, Felched.com etc. and the fake cum.

If I wanted to see guys shooting milk out of their asses...I'd go to GotMilk?.com
 
electricflame said:
Gosh I have so many!
And my BIGGEST pet peeve...when a guy has a really nice smooth bubble butt and it gets fingered and rimmed and worshipped...but you NEVER get to SEE the actual hole because someone's finger/tongue/head is in the way and you're left to imagine what the guy licking or fingering him gets to see.
Click to expand...

I am surprised nobody else said this. Am I the only hole fanatic? If there's no hole, there is ZERO point for me to watch a scene. It's the only thing I'm even remotely attracted to usually.
 
another peeve. . .when one can hear the shutter from the photographer's still camera going off while in the midst of the video. . .constantly [-X Can't you at least utilize a digital camera that doesn't need a shutter?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!??? or a smart phone #-o
 
I have to say...this thread is hilarious.

It would be a riot to have everyone over for a porn night so that we could carve it up.
 
electricflame said:
I am surprised nobody else said this. Am I the only hole fanatic? If there's no hole, there is ZERO point for me to watch a scene. It's the only thing I'm even remotely attracted to usually.
Click to expand...

I have more of a problem not seeing the penis enter the anus, I hate when they skip and cut where the guy is just already up his ass. Some of my favorite anal scenes has to do with this specific part being shown.
 
Loud back ground music, any form of straight porn to get guys off, so called straight boys who want to be sucked, fake cum, any form of blood or scat.
 
Guys pissing on eachother. WTF is that shit, I've seen it on the main porn portal page here. That's just disgusting and something I shouldn't have to be exposed to unless I'm specifically looking for it. I know scat porn is a thing, piss porn should be lumped into the same category, ie it shouldn't pop up unless you're damn well looking for it.
 
A bit off-topic, but I once had an old video on VHS. Can't remember the name or much of the movie except the premise. A young guy was hired by a man to take care of his 'friends' when he wasn't already preoccupied. For some reason, the young guy thought he was there to dog-sit. He spent most of the movie just wandering around the house saying, "But where's the fuckin' dog?"
 
I thought of another which is a complete turn-off, but so many guys do it: waggle their dicks. Either they waggle them up and down or from side to side.

I have to ask myself, "Why?"
 
gsdx said:
I thought of another which is a complete turn-off, but so many guys do it: waggle their dicks. Either they waggle them up and down or from side to side.

I have to ask myself, "Why?"
Click to expand...
Maybe they are just trying to get the blood flow going by centrifugal force?
 
^ And dirty soles of feet.

Really?
 
The same old tired "straight" scenes with "broken" guys, when we've seen them get fucked by other guys 20 times beforehand. More pet peeves would be pissing, scat, cutting off to another shot when the prior scene was just getting good, cheesy music overlapping the sounds of the moaning and pounding, and dubbed moaning and other sex sounds.
 
rareboy said:
I have to say...this thread is hilarious.

It would be a riot to have everyone over for a porn night so that we could carve it up.
Click to expand...

See how long it takes for us to leave the room once we see/hear a pet peeve of ours.
 
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