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Whats the weirdest thing you ever put up your ass?

I got horney when i was about 13 so i put AA battery and it went all the way in, so i had to stick my whole hand up there to get it, it felt good
 
I don't really have an ass fetish but at the same time it didn't seem like a hot topic either so i figure this thread can have a home here.

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Well yesterday i wanted a hot dog so i took one out of the fridge, it was jumbo and while i had it in my hand i looked at it and i don't know if i was horny or what but it resembled a semi hard penis so much. Long story short i put a condom on it and fucked myself real good. The frankfurter was bigger than most dicks i have encountered in my time.


beef_frankfurter_product.jpg



Oh i also put a tampon up my ass once just for fun and pretended that i was seeing my period.


So lets get this thread popping?
keep getting diverted from saying what a nice hot dgg photo that is.
 
one of those containers that have the cigar inside, but the only reason i did it was because my very hot friend gave it to me, and thought about himthe whole time, and he also knows i'm gay i think he knew ehat i'd do with it :D
 
A condom full of rice. It was a few months ago and I had made way too much. There was loads of other stuff inside it too. When I took it out the condom had become dark orange.
 
A candle and believe me you can put it in there tooooooooooo far!!!!!!!

I had a friend who shoved a candle up his ass because he was alone and feeling horny. He told me that the candle broke and that when he withdrew the candle about half of it was ejected, but the other half was still deep in his hole with just the wick prodruding. He pulled but unfortunately only the wick came out of his ass with part of the candle remaining deep in his hole.
He panicked and had to phone for assistance to remove the remaing candle. I still feel for him with the embarrasment it caused him.
 
A condom full of rice. It was a few months ago and I had made way too much. There was loads of other stuff inside it too. When I took it out the condom had become dark orange.

Probably don't need to put that much saffron in your rice then... That stuff is expensive and a little goes a long way.
 
Beer bottle
Banana
Plastic peg (not sharp lol) for the game Horse Shoes
HUGE Cucumber when I was 15 (Jesus Christ that hurt)
A foose ball table handle (there's one in my living room and I got bored so I just bent over and fucked myself on it)
A metal cover thingy for a sword (don't ask)
Wine Bottle (the small side)
Toothbrush handle
Shaving razor handle
I'm sure there's more.
 
A beer bottle, cucumber, a hot dog, a Maglite, broom handle, paper towel holder, shovel handle, cue stick (billiards), doctor's fingers, my fingers, table leg, enema tube, plastic bottles, and probably other things which I've forgotten about.

What can I say other than "Born to bottom!"
 
Summer sauage....painfull but feels pretty good and felt that way after cumming on my bfs face
 
Toilet plunger handle (put a condom on it first)
Toothbrush handle
Balloons (the long skinny ones, inflated after they were inside me)
Ice (condom filled with water, tied off, then frozen)
Enema tubes
Screwdriver handles
Latex gloves
Vaccum cleaner nozzle
Pens
Wrench handle
 
Nothing too strange. Dildos, butt plugs..
When I started to play, when I was a teen.. I used a deodorant for a while.

body_deodorant__body_roll_on.jpg


It was small, and difficult to handle, so I secretly bought my first Dildo then... Much better. I threw that Dildo away years ago, when I went into a phase that I only wanted the real thing.

I would like to try beer bottle sometime.. but not to get it in deep.
Just to play with the beer.
 
Pens, a sharpie, toothbrush handle, razor handle, toothbrush holder, M&Ms mini container, and a cologne bottle
 
I have never had anything in there except fingers, different store-bought proper quality sex toys, and one magnificent penis.
 
My own baggy boxer shorts as my lover shoved them in my ass chute, then he fucked me throughthe slit of his boxer shorts, cam inside my ass that had my boxer shorts, pulled them out and he sniffed them filled with my manly ass scents and his cum, then he wore them and I blew him as he blasted yet another load into my own boxer shorts. Best cumrag I ever had after that!!!!!
 
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