Why am i only attracted to white men?

[doctorsun]

Not the same. Race does not equal a physical trait. So if you're not interested in a certain trait, say so... but to say you aren't attracted to a race is saying there is something about their RACE and not their physical appearance that turns you off.

Would it be better if I said that I'm not attracted to men with dark skin? Skin color is a physical trait.

 

[BINOWGAYLATER]

Which is a racist viewpoint. Sorry. Some erroneously tend to think of racism as hatred, but it is not. "Closet racists," who are perfectly nice, reasonable people who are nice to all humans, decide that they don't HATE other races, and this gives them justification to pretend they are not racist. But racism is, among other things, the belief that people should be treated in ways based on the color of their skin. You expressed this belief, which makes you a racist. You may not "hate" other colors, but you place so much emphasis on race that you have placed a blanket conclusion on all black men and cannot condone intimately fraternizing with them, and this is a racist viewpoint.

But...again...you're perfectly entitled to that viewpoint. What makes you a jerk is having the tactlessness to say it out loud. For example: if I wasn't attracted to guys under 5'10, I wouldn't voice it -- especially if there was a guy in the crowd who was 5'6. Only an asshole would not see how rude that shit is. If a guy who was 5'6 (BTW, I don't have a height preference...this is just an example) approached me, I would simply say that I wasn't interested and keep my reasons why to myself.

No one is forcing you, or even telling you, to bed a black man. People are going to feel how they feel, and do as they do. But I'm not going to pretend that your statement wasn't small-minded. As perfectly entitled as you are to not be attracted to Black men, I'm as entitled to write you off as a bigot for saying it.

There is sooo much WRONG here -- I can't dignify much of it with a thoughtful reply --
(hence your name - i guess)

but a couple of things --

ONE --Racism is about SUPERIORITY -- More than a lot of other things -- I don't hear anyone saying they are BETTER than anybody else - they just don't want to fuck certain ones.

TWO - you need to spend about 20 years in a place like Hawaii - and learn what "Why can't we all just get along" really means - and there are multiple "RACES" there that would knock that big chip off your shoulder in about ten minutes (regardless of what color it is)

and LASTLY --
don't argue that "certain things shouldn't be said" -- unless it's "you fat fucking faggot" - that could go unsaid - but there are TONS of things and feelings in this world that DO NEED TO BE SAID - outloud -- and it's perfectly fine to say -
I like white men -- or I like HAIRY MEN -- or I like short Asians with little cocks - -

It's NOT -- repeat NOT racism. Even if you wish it were.

 

[Mike68]

To answer the OP's question; The answer is...because

 

[boxerdudeuk]

What it boils down to is that you shouldn't have to sleep with someone to prove you're not racist against them.

 

[Telstra]

^ Oh, but they do! You must not get the Jerry Springer show down under?

they only do it if they are un-stable.

 

[Zabotugi]

I think why some people are so flamed up at Boxer's reply is because it seems like it singles out black men specifically. While I have seen many East Indians with ''black'' features, from the way he typed it sounded like it was too mean,"I would date an east indian with thick hair and very dark skin, but not a black man with lighter skin and less thick hair, for the simple fact that he is black."

Side note: I actually saw an east indian today with stereotypical black hair....i stopped and stared . He must be from the southern tip of India where people look more like the Australian Aboringes or something. I'm pretty sure he was from India too.

I also think the sensitivity you see from people getting rejected by race has to do with numbers. When a minority gets rejected because of race, he may feel like all or most people dont like him because of that. When say, for example, a white man gets rejected, he may not take it to heart as much because he knows there are other people that are going to like him. This is assuming they both live in a majority white country.

People in both the minority and majority often say things without taking into consideration the other sides view of things. Not everyone is offended by such statements and many people just brush them off, at the same time, people can be VERY offended by other statements. People tend to favor people that look more like them naturally (very general statement of course).

It's the same in many countries, like if a white guy were to go to a majority non-white country, he would find that the non-whites in the majority, male or female, tend to prefer their own. This may cause a foreigner in the country to feel isolated and take rejection personal. The thing is that it seems like people are more likely to accept rejection and move on in Eastern countries more than Western countries.

Perhaps it would of come across more lightly if Boxer had said,"I really only find people that look like me attractive". That would probably automatically eliminate most "black'' men.

This is why I sometimes feel people would be happier if racial segregation was still law, but other races recieved equal rights. That way nobody's feelings get hurt, there's no interracial crime, no people of one race pointing fingers at people of other races, ect.

 

[bankside]

Looking for hot latinos, vikings, gingers, blacks, arabs, all-american-boys-next-door, persians, english posh country boys, english working class blokes, israelis, swiss, swiss germans, swiss french, swiss italians, regular italians, spaniards, greeks, lebanese +++, inuit, indians, jamaicans, australian aborigines, !xhosa, or canadians.




....but sorry, no asians, fats or fems. no offence.

Lets all of us.... no matter what background we are.... even if we're on the list......lets all agree not to date those guys.

 

[BINOWGAYLATER]

VERY NICE - -BANKSIDE !!

You include Alaskan natives but not Hawaiians - you trying to get branded as a racist or sumthin' !???!

 

[bankside]

VERY NICE - -BANKSIDE !!

You include Alaskan natives but not Hawaiians - you trying to get branded as a racist or sumthin' !???!

Alaskan natives? ALASKAN natives?????? You cultural-imperialist American pig. I'm not dating you either.

;-P

 

[miyakko]

ditto. .:: grabs popcorn ::.

 

[BostonPirate]

What it boils down to is that you shouldn't have to sleep with someone to prove you're not racist against them.

 

[MoltenRock III]

For me, growing up in a tiny town in South Dakota, I'd be attracted to classmates, guys in my school, younger adults in the community, etc. It was a mostly white population ... I feel like that had to do a lot with who I was attracted to at that time.

Now that I'm out of that bubble of a shitty hick town, I find myself attracted to all types of guys. That definitely doesn't hold true for everyone, but that's how it's worked for me.

Yup! Especially, now that you are over here in the Twin Cities you're expanding your horizons. I applaud you for such. Unfortunately, many gay guys refuse to broaden their own tastes, which doesn't help anyone. Let's be honest, many times its our opposite that makes a relationship work, and work very well.

I met my current boyfriend naked, when I was down at the Mayo Clinic. To anyone that is going to the Mayo Clinic for their neurosurgery department.... make sure to wear underwear and not go commando. The male nurses in that department (5 I've met so far) are all gorgeous. Otherwise, you might find yourself in a *ahem* hard situation I found myself in for the first time ever at/in front of a medical professional. He thought it was cute, and still loves to rib me about it in front of friends and relatives. Bastard! LOL

 

[boxerdudeuk]

Lol what does that mean?

 

[bankside]

We all have biases that are conscious or subconscious. They aren't necessarily bad or good.

A while ago, I realized I was an ageist. I didn't think I was better than people who were under or over a certain age, but I did not want to date or have sex with them.

That's not my fault and feeling that way did not make me a bigot. However, it was really helpful to acknowledge I felt that way and I made the decision to work on being more open-minded.

You're not a racist for not being attracted to black guys (if that's your thing)

If you selectively dating based on age makes you an ageist, wouldn't someone who selectively dates based on race be a racist?


Hmmmmmm.....

 

[bankside]

I have a history with men of just about every race, ethnic background, whatever...but I've always had the greatest amount of interaction with white men. There are a number of reasons I found myself extremely attracted to them, but none of them equate having an issue within myself.

I'd love to hear you talk about what those reasons are, if you feel comfortable to. Do you notice differences (or more to the point, similarities) in one group or another? What are they?

There are a few things I enjoy physically in other men, but the same features cross wide wide sections of the world's population. But I think you're talking about more than just physical, yeah?

 

[BostonPirate]

Lol what does that mean?

just a little attention getter

I mean

Doesn't she look like your type? Its her constitutional right to have you boink her, doncha know

 

[bankside]

What exactly do you mean by the suggestion that I mean more than the physical?

Just exactly this:

It takes more than physical attraction to hold my attention.

I wondered if there was anything in your experience of different groups of people that holds your attention differently

 

[BrownBoi89]

I've been on JUB for a few years now and I've been posting for almost a year and I don't think I've ever written in one of these threads, usually because by the time I see them people have been fighting and name-calling etc. However this has been on my mind lately so I might as well share my experiences the last few weeks.

So some of you may know I came out recently and I consider myself to have been out for the last 3 months or so. So as any gay guy who's been in the closet for many many years, I've been trying all kinds of ways to meet other gay guys. I joined the Pride club at my uni, I try to go to gay nightclubs as often as I can, and yep I even go to this online chat site for gay men asking if there are any gay guys in Vancouver that just want to chat. And who knows maybe it's just this site but the vast majority of guys from Vancouver either A) Stop talking to me once they find out my race or B) Just straight up tell me that they're only into White. One guy literally the first thing he wrote when he messaged me was "Hey I'm in Vancouver too! Are you white or..." and I guess after being rejected so many times by guys who have yet to see me, I've gotta admit yeah it does hurt. And as someone who's never had a problem with his race before til now, it's kinda surprising. Even though South Asians are the second largest visbile minority in Vancouver I rarely see other South Asian guys in gay settings. So I really don't have the luxury of dating guys my own race that some of you guys have. So if there aren't more guys in my city willing to be open-minded into dating a South Asian dude I always worry that I will just end up alone. Sorry for such a long post and sorry if this was way off topic. This thread just reminded me of stuff I've been experiencing recently and I just needed to share this.

 

[bripatrick]

Yup! Especially, now that you are over here in the Twin Cities you're expanding your horizons. I applaud you for such. Unfortunately, many gay guys refuse to broaden their own tastes, which doesn't help anyone. Let's be honest, many times its our opposite that makes a relationship work, and work very well.

I met my current boyfriend naked, when I was down at the Mayo Clinic. To anyone that is going to the Mayo Clinic for their neurosurgery department.... make sure to wear underwear and not go commando. The male nurses in that department (5 I've met so far) are all gorgeous. Otherwise, you might find yourself in a *ahem* hard situation I found myself in for the first time ever at/in front of a medical professional. He thought it was cute, and still loves to rib me about it in front of friends and relatives. Bastard! LOL

I think there might be something to that.



Haha, actually, we're far from opposite...it's ridiculous how much we're alike in personality, sense of humor, values, etc. You know, the things that actually matter.

(PS that is a hilarious story! I will definitely keep that in mind if I ever find myself in Rochester!)

 

[whydatkine]

I' m not white/black/asian/latino, I'll keep my race a mystery, but I am definitely attracted to my own race and then some. I love all races, but there are some that I am more attracted to because there are some features on a man's face that differs from their ethnicity (i.e., white men tend to have longer noses than asian men, black men tend to have more luscious lips than white men, etc.). Biracial men, on another note, can be so hot.

I find myself less attracted to white men. I find them to be so hot in photos but just the typical white guy accent turns me off.