Unless it’s an asshole, no one ever claims one is okay and the other isn’t. It’s a made up argument to make it look like someone is making a point.
It's "what-about-ism" which is what Right-wing news outlets do when they don't have a rational case to make and/or they just want to stir everyone up.
It's the same game that children play.
Mother: "Joe, did you eat the cookies?"
Joe: "Billy did it first!"
What Billy did is a question worth investigating but it doesn't change the fact that Joe ate the cookies.
In this case, a comic used her personal platform to insult someone by saying that she was the cross between an Islamist group and an ape. This same comic has a long history of saying some fairly irrational and offensive things in social media. When confronted, she doubled-down and continued with the insults and posted an old insulting picture of Michelle Obama and an ape.
In the other case, a comic on a scripted show read a story about an immigration policy that intentional separates children from their parents as punishment for the parents crossing the border. She then pointed out the tone-deafness of Ivanka Trump posting a picture of her holding her 2 year old child in her arms during the same weak when stories came out about US Immigration being unable to account for 1,500 immigrant children that were placed with foster families. She ended that story by insulting Ivanka Trump for not doing something about her father's immigration policy.
There's not really a good argument to be made about a comic- on her own personal time and not reading a script- insulting a former White House aide by referring to her as a Muslim extremist (which she is not) and an ape (which she is not). There's also not a good argument to be made to support separating children from their parents and then losing track of the whereabouts of some of those children.
So, instead we'll play "what-about" to try to change the subject and pretend like two completely different situations are the same.
This is what happens daily now. There's a White House that is doing some pretty shitty things on a daily basis. It serves their purpose well when there's 130+ posts arguing about "Who Did It Worse?" instead of actually doing something to get the awful people doing this stuff out of office.