Do You Ever Feel Ugly?

[menRsexii]

haha i didnt find that creepy ill think about posting a pic sometime... im getting better with pics. all in good time.

 

[refujiunderground]

No it doesn't. Stop acting like you know me. Stop acting like you're an authority. Stop acting like your diagnoses are anything more than your closed-minded beliefs imposed on my lifestyle.

So you want a boyfriend. That's fine. Doesn't mean everyone else does.

we don't believe you, you need more people.

 

[refujiunderground]

Hilarious line, because I love that album. I love that I get all of your hip hop references.

Doesn't really do anything to support your argument. Doesn't matter if you believe me. You're the idiot for thinking it's impossible for someone to not directly identify with what you want in your life.

But hey, that kind of closed-mindedness is a general human trait that's always bewildered me. It's just so odd that humans need these rules to apply to everyone they know.

close mindedness?

only thing i said was an observation that a lot of people besides myself noticed about you. you can get upset all you want but you gotta blame yourself for putting it out there. you even admitted that most of your posts are about your insecurities. i just mentioned one of them. you mentioned the rest. if you were confident with being single, you wouldn't have to mention about being single in half of your post in one way or another.

and you did make that thread about you not wanting to get involved with anybody else because someone who you wanted to have as a boyfriend stopped responding to your text or phone calls. quit trying to play two sides of the coin. either you are or you're not. quit trying to run around one tag and then run under another fronting like that ain't you.

 

[refujiunderground]

We're talking in circles, because I already asked this question (which you ignored): If someone brags about being partnered, why is their happiness automatically assumed, yet when I mention my being single, I'm "trying too hard"? That is a clear and present bias due to closed-mindedness.



Either I am or I'm not what?

I didn't want "a boyfriend."

I wanted him.

Whenever I make a reference to not wanting someone for the sole purpose of not being alone, you guys throw a bitch fit about how I'm pretending to be something I'm not. I met one person who I fell for. Doesn't mean I'm "looking for a boyfriend." I means I liked a guy and because he was awesome, and things seemed to be going well, I wanted him in my life.

Your inability to see the difference there is astounding.

The last time you picked this argument with me is when I said that I would never go out and look for someone just because I feel lonely. I then listed qualities that would lead me to be into a person, and you seemed to think that meant I was "looking for a husband."

Slow down and read what I'm saying here:

Pursuing someone just because you feel alone and need someone else to be complete is not what I'm about. Accepting someone into your life when you actually feel comfortable and compatible with them is what I'm about. And if it takes 10, 15, 30, 50 years for that last thing to happen, so be it. Because being single is pretty damn awesome as well. And despite me making one exception in 31 years of life, it's generally what I prefer.

So no, I'm not looking for a boyfriend. If one comes, fine. Until then, I'm doing me. Fucking DUH!




Thread derailed and in the worst way because there's already a million "singles" threads that could've been bumped to rehash this whole thing.

This thread is about having an ugly day. Gonna not field any more replies on the side topics.

first off let me post this.

look @ yourself.

really, all i'm reading is just organized confusion right here. you talk about us mentioning you wanting someone just for the sake of not being lonely. then you mention about how you want someone that is exactly who you want that you have a geniune bond with. then you mention about how you're not looking for "the one" despite saying that it takes 10, 15, 30 years to meet that special guy.

no offense but you sound like a woman. you don't know what you want.

 

[sixthson]

Time to spank the monkey, I think.

 

[refujiunderground]

and another thing too. to add on to whatever i said, if you did meet that guy that you wanted, you wouldn't know how to handle him because you're a fearful person. what it sounds like is that you're pushing away from a relationship because you're simply afraid of one which is why you said "i want a guy who shares the same likes as me, who is exactly what i dream of and etc". either way, you'll find some way to jump out of that commitment. have you ever been in a relationship before?

let's say that guy that things didn't work out with stayed. i seriously think that something would come up on your end which would make things not work, breh.

but with that said, i too am a fearful person which is why over the years, i've been trying to come out my shell as slowly as it has taken me to do so. i think you're afraid of a lot of things. you're afraid of acknowledging that you're attractive. you're afraid of relationships. you're afraid of being happy. but hey, do you.

 

[LaughOutLoud]

I haven't looked in this thread since I last posted in it.


What the fuck happened?

 

[sixthson]

I haven't looked in this thread since I last posted in it.


What the fuck happened?

There was a mess in aisle 7. Someone cleaned it up. Just another day at the JUB supermarket.

 

[HunterM]

I haven't looked in this thread since I last posted in it.


What the fuck happened?

Shit happened.

Seriously, this is getting very interesting.

It's better than those summer repeat episodes on TV. Love the sideshows (from other folks) too! It's like watching a DVD movie with director's and producer's commentaries on the story...that has twists and turns.

I love an unpredictable story line!

 

[G-Lexington]

Can you do it slower? And naked?

Lex

 

[refujiunderground]

Aren't we making a few too many assumptions about the guy? And I don't think you're one to talk about relationships. Have you ever been in a relationship? And I have read what he has posted, and I don't see fear of relationships. And being in relationship doesn't indicate happiness. Sure I'm happy being in one, but some people are happy being single and being with others.

never been in a relationship. never gave him advice if i was in a relationship either. i'm just stating the obvious.

 

[frankfrank]

and another thing too. to add on to whatever i said, if you did meet that guy that you wanted, you wouldn't know how to handle him because you're a fearful person. what it sounds like is that you're pushing away from a relationship because you're simply afraid of one which is why you said "i want a guy who shares the same likes as me, who is exactly what i dream of and etc". either way, you'll find some way to jump out of that commitment. have you ever been in a relationship before?

let's say that guy that things didn't work out with stayed. i seriously think that something would come up on your end which would make things not work, breh.

but with that said, i too am a fearful person which is why over the years, i've been trying to come out my shell as slowly as it has taken me to do so. i think you're afraid of a lot of things. you're afraid of acknowledging that you're attractive. you're afraid of relationships. you're afraid of being happy. but hey, do you.

Let it rest. PLEASE, just let it rest. Everybody is different...AND everybody is (hopefully!) a work-in-progress who continues to learn and evolve until the day that they die. One guy in the "promiscuous" thread posted, a couple years ago, that he is asexual. Other posts in that thread talk about being in the relationships of their lives, with no need to seek anybody "outside" ever again. I have a friend, who I've known for about 35 years, who SERIALLY visits and uses glory holes (even to the point that he builds entire transcontinental trips around his favorite glory hole places), which I believe takes promiscuous to a higher level than mentioned in that thread. I rarely have sex, and seldom yearn for it, and I am not even close to having a relationship - which, all, is incredibly liberating to me. In all of these cases, these guys have decided and adapted to what is appropriate for them or, at least, what seems to be appropriate for them.

What works best for a person at one point in their life, may change profoundly to something else entirely different and every bit as appropriate in a different stage of their lifetimes.

You guys don't need to fight each other.

refu, you're working on your own thing, and you seem to be traversing those "mountains" reasonably well at this point...I hope that all continues. The way that Naughty, or anybody else, deals with something, may seem totally alien to you...just like the way Vannie deals with something may seem entirely alien to HarkeTheBoeotarch [I COULD PUT ANY TWO NAMES IN HERE AT RANDOM and it still applies]. Not everybody always deals with stuff correctly, but in the great majority of cases, people eventually find the correct course.

frankfrank loves you all.

 

[yeahright1991]

I know I'm promiscuous. I've said it a zillion times. I have to laugh at people who try to throw their little Dr. Phil rants at me and don't even know the basics of who I am. I don't think "promiscuous" = "bad," and never implied such.



Because I'm not going out to bars and "talking my way into people's beds" as Refu likes to put it. I'm being a promiscous whore hooking up with other promiscuous whores. It does not take beauty to do that. It takes a smartphone app, google, or general knowledge of these places. Sometimes, a $5 or $10 cover.

In society, it's never taken being attractive to have sex, it's taken being loose enough to find anyone to sleep with.



The guys who I would go after are guys who sell themselves. It's part of their job to make the other person feel good. I'd know it was just a transaction, but it would open me to the possibility of hooking up with men who are normally far out of my range. And I'd be able to get specific acts done the way I want them, without partaking in positions/activities that I don't heavily favor in order to please them.

I'm definitely doing it at least once before I die. Probably on or near a birthday.

Thank you answering honestly. Personally, I want you to know that I was not shading and i'm glad that at least once a discourse worked out on Jub.

(I'm not saying I agree - but I am (really) happy that a conversation with differing points of view could be had without attacks for once )

 

[ChickenGuy]

I get this feeling when I see (most) photographs of myself, I look seriously unattractive.

And none worse than last month, when I saw an extreme close-up pic of me on Facebook that was taken on this summer's walking trip abroad. I looked UTTERLY HIDEOUS, the worst pic of me I've ever seen. It put me on a downer and depressive phase for days.

Things like that make me feel very ugly. I don't like it.

HOWEVER....

Other pics (by chance) SEEM to make me look O.K. and rather flatter me on rare occasions. Those are the ones of me that I may post on this site, so you'll all have got the wrong impression of my looks for them, it's very misleading.


P.S....


NaughtyArousal, I've no idea what you're talking about.

For what it's worth, I for one think you look stunning, gorgeous, and really attractive (yes, seriously) and I wouldn't have been majorly crushing on you these past months o) if I thought any other way. Whether that makes you feel any better, I don't know.

Any more insecurity from you, and I'll bump my 'Love on NaughtyArousal' thread from the archives.

 

[quasar]

haha so funny that this thread was bumped, because I'm currently having an ugly WEEK...

Honey, the only time that the words 'you' and 'ugly' appear in the same sentence is when the word NOT comes between them!

 

[mikey3000]

I go through these periods too, we all do. They pass. But...

I have this friend who is georgous, so georgous in fact that total strangers stop and stare at him. He is the total package, height, weight, style, good job, etc etc. Guys go up to him and tell him how handsome he is all the time and it just makes him uncomfortable. He really has no idea how handsome he really is.

The best part is he is in the process of comming out so it's all new to him and he's totally oblivious to his looks. The worst part is that he truly has an amazing personality and might get eaten alive.

 

[72-Jay]

Yeah at times I've felt I'm ugly..
For the most part I see myself as not ugly, but not cute/goodlooking either.

 

[floridaboy]

sometimes, but only when i have dairy(im lactose intolerant) because it makes my stomach and face bloat a bit, so i look fatter

 

[Gravelord_Nito]

I feel ugly all the time, I just dont show it.

 

[Saybrooke]

Yeah... :'( lol I've been told I'm ugly my whole and I believed it. I'm finally starting to feel good about myself though.