Well that's great that the city (Washington DC) worked out for you. I am very familiar with the Washington DC area. Maybe living near Logan Circle or Dupont Circle has worked out fantastic for you.
If I lived in the DC area, I would probably feel most comfortable in places like Arlington, Alexandria, or inside the beltway in Fairfax County, Virginia. I'm sure you would agree those places are not exactly "the country."
Maybe you & your husband are social butterflies, but I'm not extremely social. I'm introspective, and I like the peace & quiet of older suburban neighborhoods with tree-lined streets.
Not all gay men are alike. If you like living in the Castro or Boystown or Dupont Circle, well great for you. But I don't like it when people imply that "once people come out" they "have to move to the city." Many gay people live perfectly healthy, satisfying lives in the suburbs these days -- and they wouldn't trade it to move back to the city.
Actually Washington has many beautiful tree lined, flower lined streets; the spring is particularly beautiful although the canopy is lush at this time of year. Downtown Alexandria is also spectacular, particularly along the waterfront. It has Metro Access so getting around is not a problem. Only problem with living in Virginia is that my husband and I have no standing whatsoever as a married couple who are gay. The current attorney general has repeatedly challenged anything that supported LGBT or could be construed as such. We looked up worker rights the other day because my husband debated his boss on breaks. Virginia is one of the few states that provides no breaks for workers. Someone can be fired at any time and there is no recourse. So while we love to visit; it is certainly not someplace to which we will move.
I have many friends in the burbs; my point is that everyone has different tastes -- it's what makes the rainbow flag true to form. For me, having been there and done it, it's not for me. If we want quiet, we can go to my mother-in-law's house in Maryland and listen to the crickets chirp (or we can visit my brother and sister back in Michigan).
Actually I can hop on my bike or walk up through Rock Creek Park; stop at the zoo and be back in downtown all in a short time. It's what I love about the city. As for San Fran, I always love visiting because of the gorgeous homes, interesting sites and amazing views. Not sure what makes it a hellhole to you but I've walked all over and loved it. I also don't believe I said anyone has to move to the city; for young people it is a much more popular option as life is rediscovered. And for me and my husband, it's where we would prefer to be.
I do worry for my children and younger people because the costs of living in the city have gone up -- much faster than the burbs. The house I looked at in Chantilly, VA near my old office six years ago was selling then for $520,000 and they were rarely on the market more than a day. Now one could have the same property for half that amount and can bargain with sellers because many have been on the market for a long time. My old deputy director has been sitting on a house for more than 2 years that was a builder's showcase with lots of bells and whistles. She's renting because they would lose so much on a sale.
Meanwhile in DC my condo has gone up more than $70,000 in value (one just sold down the hall for that amount and was on the market less than 2 days). My new assistant and his girlfriend were renting in Southeast -- which used to be a hellhole (and home to most of the gay clubs). They are in a new building and just were notified rent was going up nearly $400 per month. That's a huge increase but the area near the stadium has become popular (especially with lots of gays). The old idea that there was a "gay area" in DC which was Dupont is really gone. Gays are all over the city (and burbs). Dupont is much less gay with new clubs on U Street, 8th, as well as 17th Street.
We wanted to be assimilated into society and I see it more so every day. While I rejoice, I also take pause.
Did he at least reciprocate? Dinner and drinks at one of your "swanky" restaurants? Got any pictures? 
