The problem with militants like yourself, is very much that you seem to think you're self made experts on what being gay means to other gay people simply because you happen to be also. You're not. You don't get to describe the term straight-acting as offensive to gay people as a fact, because its not a fact. If it was true for most gay people, its only a generalization, much like stereotypes are.
I AM STRAIGHT-ACTING, feel free to loathe me. I'm not going to change who i am just because you don't like it. It is YOUR problem, and anyone else who has an issue with the term. Most people who have an issue just don't 'get' it, which is fine, but no justification for jumping on the bandwagon that it represents shame or repression or an intent to stigmatize effeminate gay men.
I use the term straight-acting as an identifier. I do not use it before, or in place of gay. I say i'm gay, just like every other gay person says they are. But, if someone makes a comment that they'd never have guessed i was gay, or they didn't have a clue (and this has happened a lot in my personal experience), i'll say something like "yeah well, i'm more of a straight-acting type".
For guys that who identify as straight-acting, the traditional gay stereotype is generally disliked, foremost because it fails to represent them. For most gay guys, stereotypes are disliked full stop, especially the traditional one. No gay guy, whether butch or effeminate appreciates having their sexual orientation belittle their personage. The traditional 'camp' stereotype does exactly that, by attacking our masculinity.
I'm not saying here that effeminate men are somehow weak links in the gay cause to be accepted, far from it. The stereotype exists because effeminate men are more visible. But what i am saying is that some gay guys seem intent on maintaining that sterotype by dismissing any other stereotype that comes along.
It seems that its only gay men who refuse to adopt any labels that get a nod of approval from stereotypicaly gay guys, and straight-acting gays are problematic, repressed or ashamed. Its a transferal of bitterness as far as i'm concerned. You see, if nobody used stereotypes, it wouldn't change anything, it wouldn't stop people being themselves, however they are. Some camp guys loathe the fact that some gay men are naturally less effeminate, and that creates a sense of bitterness, because ultimately as gay men, we ARE attracted to that which is male (thus, effminate ideals are generally less appealing). Then along comes a sterotype, adopted by some gay men themselves (not imposed on us by straights in the way that rolyo imposes 'breeders' on straights, which i find just as loathsome btw) and now suddenly its not a case of gay men being themselves, but gay men undermining the traditional stereotype. Its not true, and its offensive, to try and undermine other gay men, like myself, who are perfectly secure and unashamed in our sexuality, by driving away any stereotype other than the age old typical, whilst at the same time moaning that steroetypes are bad full stop. If that is what you believe, you wouldn't be trying to affirm one over the other, you'd just allow gays to identify as they identify themselves, whether you like it or not.
How many of you pipe up when straight-acting is used by one gay, but sit back and have no problem with the usage of the terms, queer, queen or diva by another eh?? Its offensive to argue that effeminate descriptors are fine but that masculine ones are an assault on the effeminate. I don't like the traditional stereotype, you might not like my own identifying term straight-acting, but at least i don't go around attacking you for yours.
You need to grow up and let gay men who are different, BE different, instead of making out you're an international spokesperson for an entire community.
I have no guilt, no shame, no need to justify myself to the likes of you. So yeah, loathe me, its water off a duck's back.
