Is wrong for parents to assume their child is heterosexual?

[boxerdudeuk]

Rude my ass.

What's rude is people constantly acting like their child couldn't possibly grow up to be gay and it's the undesirable alternative.

so it's incredibly rude for a straight person to suggest that a gay person's "gayness" could "just be a phase" but it's not rude for a gay person too interject and suggest that their kid could very well grow up gay?

sorry but both are rude. gay people don't wanna hear that - and straight parents don't want to hear that. simple as that.

 

[bounder]

Read my fucking post. It's about the insinuation and the connotations involved underneath the assumption.

I did and my first post still stands. I think you make the leap from assumption to good/bad associations too quickly.

 

[bulge]

this thread is so depressing. did anyone even read my post? and yet there are still gay people here that will raise children and "assume" they're straight? do you like it when people assume you're straight? personally i hated it, and i hated it when i was fucking 12, too.

Depressing indeed. They all have been duly trained in the str8 ideology, readily assume what they have learned is true and will repeat the same stupidities till the day they die.

One-sided education, especially in the field of sex, is TOTALLY wrong. Period.

 

[morgaes]

Parents know when their kids are gay. They can tell.

Haha! Tell that to my parents!

 

[saymyname]

It's certainly rude to say someone's gayness could be a phase in such a contemptuous tone such as that.

Why shouldn't they want to hear that? It's a possibility. If you concede that, you're conceding homosexuality is undesirable.

Right on.

I guess people just have different opinions on this. You have gay people that want full and true equality, and then we have you uncle tom fucking faggots.

 

[fetaby]

And then you have people who are intolerable of differing opinions and quick to lash out at others.

Btw, "uncle tom", "faggots"... very mature of you.

About as mature as you telling him to get his "panties" out of a bunch.

 

[fetaby]

Homosexuality IS undesirable for most people
Anyway, it's not rude b/c parents don't want to hear it.. it's probably rude b/c you should not interject yourselves into people's conversations unwanted and uninvited.

Even more sad when it's undesirable to the homosexual/bisexual.

How is defining possibilities interjecting yourself?

Suppose a straight person raises the possibility to a parent.

 

[saymyname]

And then you have people who are intolerable of differing opinions and quick to lash out at others.

Btw, "uncle tom", "faggots"... very mature of you.

That was on purpose to make a point. Because of some gay peoples attitudes, we will always be faggots.

The fact that you think certain things are okay BECAUSE homosexuality is undesirable for most people, and that you don't think part of this attitude changing is to change our assumptions, that's part of the problem. Homosexuality being undesirable is part of the problem, it shouldn't be treated as a cause or a reason or justification to be okay with being treated unequally or not given fair or open representation just because that's the way things are.

And I wouldn't want to anyone to assume I'm a christian either.

 

[boxerdudeuk]

Why shouldn't they want to hear that? It's a possibility. If you concede that, you're conceding homosexuality is undesirable.

i don't find it undesirable one bit. i'm a gay man.

but at the same time, it's called common fucking sense if someone refers to their child and says "they're going to break some girls' hearts" - you nod and fucking smile. you don't take the opportunity to jump on a mini soapbox and remind the parents their kid may turn out gay. what the hell does that accomplish? other than creating an awkward situation? parents obviously want their kid to grow up, get married, have a family etc. that's natural to want that. they don't need someone reminding them their kid may be gay while it's still a child.

for fucks sakes. don't you have any social graces? not every situation requires that you put on your cape and be the gay crusader. this is one of them.

 

[boxerdudeuk]

Right on.

I guess people just have different opinions on this. You have gay people that want full and true equality, and then we have you uncle tom fucking faggots.

you are clearly delusional if you think the pursuit for full and true equality includes an unsolicited reminder to parents that their child could grow up gay. have some common sense.

 

[saymyname]

I never said anything about being treated unequally or fair representation.

Homosexuality being undesirable is how people feel..not how they treat you. I would want my children to be straight, but I'd be perfectly fine with them being homosexual.
There is no denying however that a heterosexual lifestyle is much easier, less confusing.. and probably the most natural biologically.

I think some people are confusing things in this thread

What the fuck dude? I've always thought you were a pretty good poster, but you've lost me on this one. This kind of attitude reeks of internalized homophobia. Why would you WANT (read: PREFER) your children to be straight? Can't you see how fucking HORRIBLE that is to say? If a black man married a white woman and she said she'd PREFER the child to be MORE WHITE, wouldn't that be totally fucked up and racist? And her reasons being because white is easier and less confusing do NOT justify that kind of attitude. Being straight is EASIER AND LESS CONFUSING because kids face so much HOMOPHOBIA from people telling them and assuming from the get go that they're supposed to be straight! If kids were brought up and told you can be straight, gay, bi, whatever you want and it's okay, IT WOULDN'T BE SO FUCKING CONFUSING AND HARD FOR THEM!! And how does what's "most" natural biologically have to do with anything? This is about people and their fucked up and totally BIGOTED attitudes. You just revealed how many issues you have with homosexuality itself because of that. Like anything can be "more" or "less" biological than another thing - if it's biological, it's biological, not more or less so than heterosexuality.

Wait, aren't you bisexual? Wow. Somehow I'm not surprised.

 

[boxerdudeuk]

What the fuck dude? I've always thought you were a pretty good poster, but you've lost me on this one. This kind of attitude reeks of internalized homophobia. Why would you WANT (read: PREFER) your children to be straight? Can't you see how fucking HORRIBLE that is to say? If a black man married a white woman and she said she'd PREFER the child to be MORE WHITE, wouldn't that be totally fucked up and racist? And her reasons being because white is easier and less confusing do NOT justify that kind of attitude. Being straight is EASIER AND LESS CONFUSING because kids face so much HOMOPHOBIA from people telling them and assuming from the get go that they're supposed to be straight! If kids were brought up and told you can be straight, gay, bi, whatever you want and it's okay, IT WOULDN'T BE SO FUCKING CONFUSING AND HARD FOR THEM!! And how does what's "most" natural biologically have to do with anything? This is about people and their fucked up and totally BIGOTED attitudes. You just revealed how many issues you have with homosexuality itself because of that. Like anything can be "more" or "less" biological than another thing - if it's biological, it's biological, not more or less so than heterosexuality.

Wait, aren't you bisexual? Wow. Somehow I'm not surprised.

holy fuck. grow up.

 

[saymyname]

you are clearly delusional if you think the pursuit for full and true equality includes an unsolicited reminder to parents that their child could grow up gay. have some common sense.

Why don't you get some fucking common sense and go read a book? The very fact that you think being gay is something that you "grow up" or "grow up into" highlights that you don't understand that people know they are gay before they are even told they can be or that they can say anything about it to anyone BECAUSE of the social constructions heterosexism has created, such as the closet. If people didn't fucking assume people are straight there wouldn't be a closet to come out of in the first place. You people might as well fucking vote Republican. Fucking sickening.

 

[saymyname]

holy fuck. grow up.

Great rebuttal dude. Go read a book and stop watching football.

 

[saymyname]

You can start with some Sedgwick and Foucault.

 

[boxerdudeuk]

You can start with some Sedgwick and Foucault.

go foucault yourself.

 

[Ryuusei Boy]

He said he would prefer to have a straight kid, not that he would force his kid to be straight. Because, yes, being straight is easier than not being straight, and a loving father would like his kid to live a happy life.

 

[boxerdudeuk]

Which is exactly why you don't hope or prefer a gay son.

Want to know why gay kids are so messed up? It's not because of people on the outside or friends. It's because of their parents and family.

i'm not arguing at all whether it's right or wrong to be gay or wrong to assume your kid will be heterosexual - i'm arguing that it's in spectacularly poor taste to make an unsolicited comment to a set of parents regarding it.

 

[irydion]

I have made a practice of adding the gay possibility when I hear someone say, "he is going to break a lot of girls' hearts some day." I add, "or boys.'"

Well, if he's gay and grows into a charming man, then, definitely, he's going to break many girls' hearts...

Anyway, I see no harm in it when a child is very little and doesn't understand. There's a harm in it when the child is old enough to understand, and may indeed be gay, and may feel pressured by such comments not to be gay.

But, after all, we are 3-5% minority, so being heterosexual is the default.

 

[Ryuusei Boy]

You want them to live a happy life? Love them for whoever they are and show them you are proud of them.

Yes, this is by far the most important part. But you also forget that this kid will live in a homophobic world, regardless of your love for him. Being straight is easier when you live in a straight world, that's all I mean. I'd like to have a non-color-blind kid - not because I wouldn't love him and support him, but because not being color-blind is easier than being color-blind.