Straight Lad with a Problem

[screwnutty]

Hey almostfamous.

Sad to hear your parents didnt take the news well. But whatever you do don't go back into the closet. If they cut you off then (i know this is easier then it sounds) find a job and pay your own way through school. If there going to play dirty then fuck them. Your over 18 years old now. Your an adult and they need to see you as an adult.

As for the priest coming to "cure" you. LOL Maybe they better send this guy to the other Catholic churches first....since alot of priests these days can't seem to keep there hands off the boys!!!

 

[Little Beaver]

Well, it looks like your becoming more famous than almost, now. This would have been so much easer for you and your parents when you were a little older and had finished school. Never the less your going to have to deal with it. So many wonderful, thoughtful words of support for you. Almost, you may not like what I have to say but I think you need to be prepared for the unexpected. Others have said it more indirectly. Some parents reaction to a gay son can be unbelievably cruel and mean. This is something I will never understand, but there are gay teenagers living in the streets of American cities because of parental rejection. I dont wont to scare you but it is a fact of life for many young gays. As I said, this is something I will never understand. I have talked to gays to whom this has happened and even more surprising is that none of them hold any animosity for there parents. Yes, I have heard that Pflag is a wonderful organization here in the states. You must have realised by now that there are caring knowledgeable people here who will continue to give you love and support. I guess the reaity check is, that life is not a game, its for real. Remember that none of this is your fault and you will survive. My sincere best wishes.

 

[Kyanimal]

Yup, the glory of England. Hate England, can't wait till I move away. Unfortunately time wont do much, they wont accept homosexuality. It's just the way they are and what they believe in.

I've had the great opportunity to visit the U.K. Lived in Ireland, for a short time, and traveled through Scotland, Wales, and "Merry Olde" England. Quite frankly, I ADORE the U.K.! (But, then again, I didn't feel as through I was "stuck" there!) Quite often "the grass is always greener ... " and we don't fully appreciate where we find ourselves living!

And, don't be so sure that Time will not change anything. Those that may be strongly anti-gay quite often change their "tune" when they realize just how many Gay people they know, and work with. And, now, your parents "suddenly" have a Gay son, that I'm sure they deeply love. Yes! They need some "Time". Be patient before you judge the "final" outcome.

Of course ... no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[AlmostFamous]

I've had the great opportunity to visit the U.K. Lived in Ireland, for a short time, and traveled through Scotland, Wales, and "Merry Olde" England. Quite frankly, I ADORE the U.K.! (But, then again, I didn't feel as through I was "stuck" there!) Quite often "the grass is always greener ... " and we don't fully appreciate where we find ourselves living!

And, don't be so sure that Time will not change anything. Those that may be strongly anti-gay quite often change their "tune" when they realize just how many Gay people they know, and work with. And, now, your parents "suddenly" have a Gay son, that I'm sure they deeply love. Yes! They need some "Time". Be patient before you judge the "final" outcome.

Of course ... no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

You haven't been here long enough

Thanks for advice everyone, been feeling much better last few days since I got back to uni

Although whilst speaking to my mam on the phone I think I may have given her the impression that it is a "phase" and I'm growing out of it, dunno why it just came out. Thought it was the easier option tbh.

 

[backpacker]

I suppose letting her think it's a phase is better than telling her that you have been converted. You may have indicated that you are growing out it, but you didn't say you were totally over it. At a later date, you can tell her that it didn't turn out to a be phase.

I'm glad you are feeling better.

 

[AlmostFamous]

yeah that's what I was thinking, I'm back home for another football match this weekend, and when I was asked about it I said I'm sure it's just a phase and I think getting over it. Didn't really help that James was there trying to stop himself laughing, he finds my parents really funny for some reason.

 

[zeus007]

Didn't really help that James was there trying to stop himself laughing, he finds my parents really funny for some reason.

I am also laughing imagining the scene ... After some months you will also chilled and recall these outed beginning moments!

How is it going with James btw? has he started to enjoy having a "different" friend? what do you study in the uni mate? I am curious about you because of the way you post, it's really enjoyable to me reading your posts

 

[backpacker]

LMAO at James laughing when you were telling your parents it was a phase. Sounds like they bought it nonetheless. You may want to use softer language when talking to them. For example, instead of saying you are sure it's a phase, say you think it may be a phase. That way you leave the door open to it not being a phase.

Glad to hear things seem to be going well with James. I gather that from the fact he traveled home with you to go to a football match.

 

[Little Beaver]

I am also laughing imagining the scene ... After some months you will also chilled and recall these outed beginning moments!

How is it going with James btw? has he started to enjoy having a "different" friend? what do you study in the uni mate? I am curious about you because of the way you post, it's really enjoyable to me reading your posts

Yes Almost, Please tell us more about yourself. Your friend James too. He sure seems like one heck of a guy. Great friendship. Hope it lasts for a long long time. Sorry about my last post. Some times I can be pretty negative. Every one on here is so up beat. A carryover from the days when everything was so secretive, maybe. I am an old fart of 62. I have enjoyed following this from when James first posted. Although I am not ashamed to admit that at times I have been a little teary eyed.

 

[JamesKim]

Have your GF slap him in the face...
I mean, gay or straight, he needs to give your girlfriend some respect.

 

[AlmostFamous]

Yes we both travlled down together, we both have season tickets which is a bit stupid being quite far away but it gives me a chance to give me mam my washing to do and visit some mates when we're playing at home.

I'm studying Philosophy and Psychology joint honours course atm and James is doing Sports Science and Physiology. James is pissing me off at the minute though, he's now single and everytime he gets drunk he'll go all flirty and start touching my arse when were all dancing as a group at a club. But he claims and speaks of nothing the next morning, isn't really helping get over him

 

[Telstra]

Yes we both travlled down together, we both have season tickets which is a bit stupid being quite far away but it gives me a chance to give me mam my washing to do and visit some mates when we're playing at home.

I'm studying Philosophy and Psychology joint honours course atm and James is doing Sports Science and Physiology. James is pissing me off at the minute though, he's now single and everytime he gets drunk he'll go all flirty and start touching my arse when were all dancing as a group at a club. But he claims and speaks of nothing the next morning, isn't really helping get over him

touching his arse back.

 

[zeus007]

James is pissing me off at the minute though, he's now single and everytime he gets drunk he'll go all flirty and start touching my arse when were all dancing as a group at a club. But he claims and speaks of nothing the next morning, isn't really helping get over him

well i still remember you telling that he wanted to go all the way round once (or more) time....and again he didnt remember anything in the morning..... show him the posts of this thread, time to pay him back right????lol he did it for you in the first place, didnt he?...lol

you know my case match with yours in the outed issue... the good thing with us greeks studying in UK is that when it goes to this situation (grabing asses, etc) we finish the job (bisex is on our blood) and then we dont remember...lol in Psychology is called collective memory...(im studying biology btw...)

carry on updating mate

 

[Kyanimal]

yeah that's what I was thinking, I'm back home for another football match this weekend, and when I was asked about it I said I'm sure it's just a phase and I think getting over it. Didn't really help that James was there trying to stop himself laughing, he finds my parents really funny for some reason.

This post gave me a few thoughts. (Yeah! Sometimes it takes a while! Like two days, or so! )

Anyway ...

James seems to be Really Close with your family. They were talking about "Your Problem" while he was there? From what you've said about your parents, I find that rather surprising, that they would be that candid, in front of a "non-family member". Are you that close with James' parents??

If so ... it might help to talk to them (James' parents) about dealing with Your parents. They would certainly have some different points of view, and could be a great source of support. Of course, I'm just guessing. But, given the way their son has turned out ... Know what I mean?

And, I'd be curious to hear what James might think about your telling your parents that it's "just a phase".

Of course ... no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[AlmostFamous]

This post gave me a few thoughts. (Yeah! Sometimes it takes a while! Like two days, or so! )

Anyway ...

James seems to be Really Close with your family. They were talking about "Your Problem" while he was there? From what you've said about your parents, I find that rather surprising, that they would be that candid, in front of a "non-family member". Are you that close with James' parents??

If so ... it might help to talk to them (James' parents) about dealing with Your parents. They would certainly have some different points of view, and could be a great source of support. Of course, I'm just guessing. But, given the way their son has turned out ... Know what I mean?

And, I'd be curious to hear what James might think about your telling your parents that it's "just a phase".

Of course ... no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

Not really that close to them tbh, exchange pleasantries and that. James thinks telling them it's just a phase is an alreet idea, "just tell them what they want to hear" he said and he said he wouldn't wont his parents to find out if he was gay as it'd be none of their business lol.
----------------------------------------------
And I don't really want anything to happen with James if he's pissed and going to pretend not to remember, it's obvious he wont want anything more so I don't want to risk our friendship for that. Still finding it hard to get him outta my head like


Nowt much more to add really, the England match is really boring lol so thought I'd come and have a lookskies, going out as soon as it finishes like.

 

[hotatlboi]

edit: replied to wrong post

 

[backpacker]

And I don't really want anything to happen with James if he's pissed and going to pretend not to remember, it's obvious he wont want anything more so I don't want to risk our friendship for that.

Very smart!

His behavior when drunk is a little confusing. If he really can't remember what he did, then he must be drinking a lot and definitely has a problem with alcohol. If it was just once, I wouldn't be that concerned. The fact that he has repeated "black outs" is a sign of a alcoholic. You should probably point that out to him and suggest that he gets help. When he starts flirting with you, flat out tell him to knock it off unless he expects it to turn into something. My guess is that it will make him stop. If it doesn't, tell him to stop until he's sober. If he's just pretending to not remember as a way to test the waters, making it clear to him that nothing will happen while he's drunk with either make him stop or come clean.

 

[cbtfan]

Almost ... are you a wearsider?

 

[Little Beaver]

I am beginning to have second thoughts about James. Hope I am wrong. Almost, if you did give in to James advances and went to bed with him... and lets say it was wonderful for you... and the next morning he said to you "Oh shit, think I had a wet dream last night." Get the picture? (urbandictionary.com)

 

[AlmostFamous]

Very smart!

His behavior when drunk is a little confusing. If he really can't remember what he did, then he must be drinking a lot and definitely has a problem with alcohol. If it was just once, I wouldn't be that concerned. The fact that he has repeated "black outs" is a sign of a alcoholic. You should probably point that out to him and suggest that he gets help. When he starts flirting with you, flat out tell him to knock it off unless he expects it to turn into something. My guess is that it will make him stop. If it doesn't, tell him to stop until he's sober. If he's just pretending to not remember as a way to test the waters, making it clear to him that nothing will happen while he's drunk with either make him stop or come clean.

I'm pretty sure he can remember tbh, I know him well enough to know when he's lying now. He's such a confusing person lol.

Almost ... are you a wearsider?

Aye kinda, I don't live in Sunderland like but was born there. I live more Durham way when I'm not at Uni.

I am beginning to have second thoughts about James. Hope I am wrong. Almost, if you did give in to James advances and went to bed with him... and lets say it was wonderful for you... and the next morning he said to you "Oh shit, think I had a wet dream last night." Get the picture? (urbandictionary.com)

I wouldn't really want to give in if he's pissed, I'd just be setting myself up to get hurt. I've fancied him since I've known him, I would love him to be my boyfriend and we live happily ever after but it wont, he would never commit to me as he claims he's not gay and is adament about that.