Think of a Song About Masturbating

[hungprep]

I'm also easily distracted, so – before this thing gets totally out of hand – here's one more 'Rosie' song from Mr Touching Me, Touching You himself, in which 'Rosie' is the name he gave to a 'poor man's lady,' a 'store-bought woman;' i.e., I'm guessing, a blow-up Real Doll of some sort...


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6FfjlxZLTk"]Cracklin' Rosie Neil Diamond[/ame]


'Yeah/Cracklin' Rosie, git on board/We're gonna ride till there ain't no more to go/Takin' it slow/Lord, don'tcha know/Have me a time with a poor man's lady/Hitchin' on a twilight train/Ain't nothin' here that I care to take along/Maybe a song/To sing when I want/Don't need to say please to no man for a happy tune.../Oh, I love my Rosie child/<You got the way to make me happy>/You and me, we go in style/Cracklin' Rose, you're a store bought woman/You make me sing like a guitar hummin'/Hang on to me, Girl/Our song keeps runnin' on.../Play it now/Play it now/Play it now, My Baby/Cracklin' Rosie, make me smile/God, if it lasts for an hour, well, that's all right/We got all night/To set the world right/Find us a dream, but don't ask no questions/Yeah...'
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[hungprep]

Another song about a Real Doll!

(You see how, left to my own devices, I start pursuing themes... But, please, anyone, feel free to interupt me in my... solitude. Mutual Masturbation is fun, too – and, in fact, may be the most fun of all!)


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUaEPFkjdOA"]Severed Lips Dinosaur Jr[/ame]


'You know, the time has come/Well, I ain't gonna fester no more/Let the world be free/Of my disease/I never knew a rubber doll/Would be so hard to please/Now, I'm preachin' out/One last burst, before I retract/No one will know/Till I finally let go/Of the one thing/I ain't never going to give back.../Well, I want to help you/Baby, can't you see?/You're better than my pillow/Cos you don't stain so easily/You know, it's hard just to finally let go...'
~ J Mascis
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[hungprep]

One more...

'I bought you mail order/My plain wrapper baby/Your skin is like vinyl/The perfect companion/You float in my new pool/Deluxe and delightful/Inflatable doll/My role is to serve you/Disposable darling/Can't throw you away now/Immortal and life size/My breath is inside you/I'll dress you up daily/And keep you till death sighs/Inflatable doll/Lover ungrateful/I blew up your body...

'But you blew my mind...'


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSniBxXjK_8"]In Every Dream Home a Heartache Roxy Music[/ame]


Bryan Ferry, Brian Eno, Phil Manzanera, Andy MacKay, Paul Thompson and John Porter
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[hungprep]

For a brief look – or two, actually – at the flipside of that whole, female robot/Real Doll trip...

'Coin operated boy/Sitting on the shelf he is just a toy/But I turn him on, and he comes to life/Automatic joy/That is why I want a coin operated boy...' ~ Amanda Palmer


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4gPZPKJc0s"]Coin Operated Boy The Dresden Dolls[/ame]


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHpDGxCAzU4"]Live at Bonnaroo 2006[/ame]


To activate the YouTube link for the first vid, just click the link (the title and artist name) I thoughtfully inserted in the top of the video window frame. (Just prepare yourself for an obnoxious ad from Google...) Now, who knows how to do the 'Robot Dance?'
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[hungprep]

^_^ No one, huh? (You fucking tools...)

From the film Urgh! A Music War (1980-81)


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1mHVZ_kosY"]I Was the Puppet Echo and The Bunnymen[/ame]


'I'll practice my fall/For practice makes perfect/Chained to the wall/For maximum hold/The window's so far/Too far from my legs/Open the door and let out the cold/You knew about this/With your head in your hands/All along/I was the puppet/I was the puppet...'
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[hungprep]

It's one thing to use your imagination to jerk off in the privacy of your own bedroom, but something else altogether to hide out somewhere to eavesdrop on another person, just so you can jerk off – like this tosser, apparently...

I emphatically do not approve!


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiLO4qPkA64"]Zorbing Stornoway[/ame]


'Lying in your attic/I can feel the static/The storm has broken/Heavens open/So electrifying/Oh, I'm nearly flying/Lost my heart between the sheets of lightning...'
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[mbamike]

My Ding-a-ling.

 

[hungprep]

More thunder and lightning... I mean, folk music...

Live, Bochum, Germany, May 30, 1985


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whwEiTmgWk0"]St Swithin's Day Billy Bragg[/ame]


'With my own hand/When I make love to your memory/It's not the same/I miss the thunder/I miss the rain...'
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[mbamike]

“And when my hand touches myself/I can finally rest my head/And when they take from his body/I think I’ll take from mine instead/Getting off, getting off while they’re all downstairs.”—Tori Amos, “Icicle”

 

[hungprep]

^_^ Kewl!

Seriously, thanks for posting that. For some reason, I just never could do so myself.

But here's a selection that should warm everyone up. And as if the song itself weren't hot enough, the video consists of various clips of Finnish Popstar Ville Valo!


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKDDDs7BpPw"]My Wet Dream The Lords of Acid[/ame]


Male vocal: I watch you sleep your restless dream/I can hear you breathe so close to me/Your naked skin arouses me/I can't help touching you/Pleasing you/My fingers caress your inner thighs/Open your legs for me.../Let me enter/Let me be part of your dream.../I'm gonna bring you up by hand/Gonna make you sigh/Now, open your altar of love...

Female vocal: I'm washed upon a shore/I can feel the water, tickling my pussy/I know this is a dream/But what I feel/Feels so real...

Male vocal: I'm gonna warm you up/Feel my fingers move around your love button...

Female vocal: Someone is touching me/But I don't wanna see who he is/His warm hands feel like flames, warming up my desire...

Male vocal: I'm gonna taste your juice/I'm your wet dream...

Female vocal: I'm getting absofuckinglutely horny!'
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[ShihTzuTylenol]

Rocket Man by Sir Elton John
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GAKOLOnfV4"]and I think it's gonna be a long long time...[/ame]

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

AC~DC have a few classics in this genre....

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RZRe-DpMBk"]cooler than a body on ice HOTTER than rollin' dice[/ame]

and the immortal
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOvQW_yky7A"]RIFF RAFF...always good for a laugh...[/ame]

and I think we already did Beatin' Around The Bush right?

but did we do [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkpLONtRjn4"]Walk All Over You[/ame]
?

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

Slip Of The Tongue by Faster Pussycat
get your feet up to your ears and watch me disappear
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=biSqxTp01ZI"]damned if I do - damned if I don't![/ame]
with a slip of the tongue I'm in deep shit, so bad off I can taste it... hehehe
bury myself with a slip of the tongue

Cold Shower by Kix
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFW_w2DYciA&feature=related"]need me a long long cold cold shower[/ame]

The Final Spongedown by Spongebob Squarepants
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nN2C6L9v2XM&feature=related"]a Europe cover[/ame]

 

[hungprep]

^_^ Whoa, Sensei, that was more courses than a... Wanksgiving dinner!

Thanks for all that, for sure. You've left me almost too weak to respond intelligently, or even intelligibly.

But not quite... Check this!


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeRi9NovHKQ"]My Mind Is a Muffler Arab on Radar[/ame]


'Sometimes, I just gotta jerk off/My nuts are a pressure cooker/My lymph nodes are swollen with laughter/Canker sores in traffic/Sponge bath, his habits/Sometimes, I just gotta watch her/Jerk off my mentor/Uh, ah, ohh.../Sometimes, I just gotta jerk off/My heart is a horseplay lawyer/My mind is a muffler/Pussy exhaust, not whooping cough/Mating season, not cock teasing/I hear he retired to/An iron lung in Florida/Uh, ah, ohh.../I hear he retired to/An iron lung in Florida...'

And a live performance from just last summer – after an absence from the stage of some eight years – at The Flywheel, Easthampton, Mass, July 2, 2010


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1QiOghvSCQ"]My Mind Is a Muffler Arab on Radar[/ame]
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[hungprep]

Man, I don't know about you, but I'm still stuffed from last Thursday...

As much as I (or anyone else, perhaps) would like to have – three days after the fact – something other than Wanksgiving Day leftovers, Sensei ShihTzu brought so much good stuff to the table, it would be a sin, I guess, to waste any of it, so – as with my family's actual Thanksgiving Day leftovers – here comes...

A Giant Casserole! <Hawk-a-a-a-a...>

First, we start with a layer of AC/DC 'Jack' cheese (three layers altogether, alternating with layers of meat and other leftovers) – and don't nobody try to tell me 'The Jack' = Gonorrhea in Aussie slang!

I've been 'jacking' for years, and I know when a band tries to make up a likely story just to get radio airtime. (Yeah, and Whole Lotta Rosie doesn't actually refer to masturbating, but was simply the name of a really fat girl Bon Scott once knew – who, yet, was very nimble with her hands.) Ri-i-i-ght!


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zh-ra39hBo&fmt=18"]Live, Glasgow 1978[/ame]


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=St-pD8oKTYc&fmt=18"]Live, Cleveland 1979[/ame]


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bsT1OBJ5mA"]Live, Donnington 1991[/ame]


Next, over each layer, we pour 'gravy' that has congealed to the consistency of... Mud! <Did I hear someone say something about 'beating around the bush?'>


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSEI353JEAM"]Mud[/ame]


For spice, season vigorously with Jamaican Jerk 'Rub'... <laughs loudly like Geoffrey Holder in the TV commercials> Ha! Ha! Ha!


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyGU-CJulTs"]Jamaica Jerk-Off Sir Elton Toilet[/ame]


Then, another layer of 'meat'... (And, you know, since the real bird – stuffed – weighed close to thirty pounds, I think it's a damn good thing – if I do say so myself – that I'm a lean, muscular 190 lbs, just to get it safely in and out of the oven and on the table!)


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjkJfMrQ4bc"]Big Balls AC/DC[/ame]


Now, let's see what we can add next... Brussels sprouts? No!

And we actually fed the last of the Faster Pussycat to the cat, who promptly turned into a...


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUmFd4wox4w"]Killer Pussy[/ame]


And, later, into a... <Hey, Beavis!>


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5I2bzGRg3mk"]Jackyl[/ame]


So, that leaves... What?

Oh, I know! Some corn... Then, we beat it all upright until it forms peaks...


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liZKlft2kuA"]KoRn[/ame]


And, then, add one, last layer of... 'meat!' (Seriously, if I don't overload this thing, we're going to be eating metaphorical turkey till Christmas – when another, whole cycle of suggestive AC/DC song titles easily could begin again!)


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfffzRJ9nVs"]Live, Donnington 1991[/ame]


Finally, to top off our casserole with a crunchy crust, we use a liberal sprinkling of everyone's favorite cereal (including Sensei ShihTzu's, apparently) – remember, Kids, 'They're not just for kidz!' <Yo Gabba Gabba!>


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UlpMzBy6Sc"]Kix[/ame]


And for dessert – since Sensei also was so kind as to bring the Spongecake, what else, but...


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLCKSPFrkJQ"]Spongeballs![/ame]


As they say in Texas – 'Bon (Scott) Appétit, y'all!'

Tomorrow, maybe we'll go 'Bowling for Soup,' or have 'Meatloaf.' What do you say?
.

 

[palemale]

Turning Japanese The Vapors


Captain Jack Billy Joel

 

[hungprep]

Greetings to all!

As should be obvious, today is International AIDS Day, and ordinarily I wouldn't think of posting anything so frivolous as yet another song about masturbating, but this is not an ordinary song, it's a serious piece of 'classical' music that, when it was written in the early part of the twentieth century, was widely disparaged as being 'orgasmic' in nature – much as, say, Richard Wagner's 'Love/Death Music' ('Liebestod') from the opera Tristan und Isolde created a scandal when it was first performed in the nineteenth century.

And so it is. But we've come a long way since then, and now this 'orgasmic' piece of music also has been used to memorialize the dead – tellingly, in films like Full Metal Jacket and, later, as a moving response to '9/11/2001.'

This was one such performance – broadcast worldwide, live from the Royal Albert Hall, London, September 15, 2001


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRMz8fKkG2g"]Adagio for Strings, op.11 Samuel Barber[/ame]


The BBC Orchestra, Leonard Slatkin, conducting
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[hungprep]

^_^ Thanks to everyone who has contributed songs to this thread. Though I'll continue in my solitary pursuits regardless, it's nice to discover other people occasionally visit the thing. Mutual masturbation is fucking fun – as well as 'safe sex,' relatively speaking.

Now, assuming this song, for the most part, isn't actually about shooting up drugs, there is at least one line in it that fits the theme...


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-AiF0rnZ7Q"]Captain Jack Billy Joel[/ame]


Live 1971 or '72

'Your sister's out, she's on a date/Aw, and you just sit at home and masturbate...'

And here's another song with a similarly ambiguous meaning...


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZ3lfw_YWNY"]Coming in Hot Peter Tosh[/ame]


'Coming in hot, hot, hot/Firing some shot, shot, shot/Coming in red hot, hot, hot/It's a musical shot, shot, shot...

'I just clean up me nuzzle <on the bubble>/I just load me barrel <on the bubble>/And I cock me hammer <on the bubble>/Cos I'm gonna pull me trigger/Hot, hot, hot/Firing some shot, shot, shot/Coming in red hot, hot, hot/Firing them shot, shot, shot...

'One minute after dozing <on the bubble>/I thought that I was a blazing <on the bubble>/My blood, it was a boiling <on the bubble>/It was amazing/Hot, hot, hot/Firing some shot, shot, shot/Coming in hot, hot, hot/It's a musical shot, shot, shot...

'Next day, it went higher <on the bubble>/Whole of me catch a fire <on the bubble>/I couldn't take it no longer <on the bubble>/I had to choking on some cold, ice water/Hot, hot, hot/Firing shot, shot, shot/Coming in hot, hot, hot/Firing some shot, shot, shot...

'I got up the other day <on the bubble>/My heat, it never went away <on the bubble>/103 on the hour <on the bubble>/I had to head for the shower/Hot, hot, hot/Gimme a, gimme a shot, shot, shot/Coming in red hot, hot, hot/Firing shot, shot, shot/Coming in hot, hot, hot...'
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[hungprep]

Yo, all (all three or four of you, that is...)

Here's one I want to send out to Sensei ShihTzu (Oh, and anyone else, of course!)

Spongebob apparently has an... admirer – who appears to be pretty well hung!


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfaAwFN6wS0"]My Spongebob The Dead Class[/ame]


Live at the O2 Academy, Liverpool, October 24, 2009
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[hungprep]

I saw these guys last night – pretty gr8 for old 97s!


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6M8MLRf9Bsw"]Every Night (Is Friday Night without You) Old 97s[/ame]


'When I was young/I was dumb as a rock/I could not read a clock/And nothin' didn't mean nothin' to me/Now, I'm no saint/But I ain't such a freak/On the days of the week/I work hard, hard...

'Every night is Friday night/Without you...'
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