On Topic Discussion What do you think about bisexuals?

[blackbeltninja]

Does your government recognize same-sex marriage?

Surprisingly, and much to their dismay, yes.

It wasn't intended under the new constitution launched in the 90s, because homosexuality is not African and is very much not appreciated. But the new consitution is worded in such a way to prevent the reappearance of apartheid of any sort that, when challenged, the government was forced to accept gay marriage and even wrote it into law back in ?2008.

-d-

 

[blackbeltninja]

wait...nevermind to that last part of my previous post.

Yes, let's do that.

While we're at it, let's disregard huge swathes of that post I had issue with, too.

-d-

 

[Gentleheart]

Yes, let's do that.

While we're at it, let's disregard huge swathes of that post I had issue with, too.

-d-

I meant the bit about wishing you and your bf well.

And I saw what you said in the other part(s) of your post. Obviously every case is not the same (which I have stated in my post), but I'd wager you steer awfully close to some of the things I put with an Asterisk. You may be a special case, but I'm doubtful.

Since you're feeling a little snarky...I'll just say that we don't always like for others to remind us of the shoes we're wearing.

 

[blackbeltninja]

^My life story is in my post; you can see exactly what I steer close to.

I was so impressed by some of the responses, which clearly riled Rainbowdick so he can fuck right off, but the others... it's the same sickening bullshit over and fucking over again. I recently was trying to talk Deja out of self-deleting, but this thread just makes me want to go away as well.

-d-

 

[cgymike]

^I didn't revive this top...go talk to the OP. Your flailing about is pointless as people know your position all to well hey

But don't self-delete...we kinda sorta need you for ballast.

You were impressed...sure you were. The hope for any validation has long since past.

 

[xbuzzerx]

As for a few more camps: guys who only sleep with women but no love interest for either, guys who only sleep with men but have no love interest for either....

I'm a little unclear on how what you or BBN have said and what Gentleheart has said are supposed to be in opposition, honestly.

The pointing out of all of these camps and stripes and mixtures of bisexuality is really an issue of bisexual identity. From the point of view of someone who is not bisexual and may be thinking about the possibility of a relationship with a bisexual person, what Gentleheart said remains even more valid the more camps we can point out in the bisexual tent. I wouldn't want to waste time investing anything emotionally in someone who bonds more closely with women emotionally... or bonds more closely with women sexually... or can't bond intimately with men but loves sex with them.. you get the idea. I'm unsure if a bisexual person could offer me what I would want in a relationship (an equal partnership/investment in all dimensions and flowing both ways equally) unless they were in the category of bonding more with men sexually and emotionally.... and likely for all intents and purposes a "gay guy" in most discernible respects of romance.

From what I gather in this thread and others of similar topics, I more or less get a message that sounds something like "when a bisexual person is with a particular partner, they are all about that partner, if you assume they are settling or eyeing prospects of a different gender or craving other things or less than 100% fulfilled after choosing to be with you, you are engaging in stereotyping and bi-bashing." But that conflicts with what bisexuals themselves will often say with regards to the fact that preferences and exclusions DO exist, and the degree to which they bond with different genders in different dimensions of relationship forming can vary. So it's not fair to expect non-bisexual people to not have these questions in their mind about the prospects of dating a bisexual person... and not to be aware of possible red flags if someone tells you something like "in my history, I've bonded more strongly with women emotionally, you're the first guy I've felt this way about.."

Of course I'm open to the possibility that gay men and bi men can have completely mutually devoted and mutually fulfilling relationships. But I agree with Gentleheart that ignoring warning signs and not asking these questions just sets you up to get hurt and waste your time. I really don't have any inclination to invest only to hear from someone a year into being involved "I really tried, but I feel like I can't bond with a man this way." And I don't think not wanting to waste your time on people who aren't completely clear and firm about what they need out of relationships is bi bashing. I think it can only even be misconstrued as being bi bashing because so many people who identify as bi seem to almost run away from establishing those parameters, even for themselves. Even at my time here at JUB only two people have shown a willingness to answer honest questions about it... everyone else seems to try to shut the discussion down with "oh here we go, more bi bashing/ I label how I want <don't question it>/ Some people like blue some people like red some people like both" and other things that really don't bring anyone any close to understanding the topic. I have no idea if that would be representational of bi people "in general", but if it is, I could completely understand anxiety regarding dating people once the bi label pops up.

TL;DR? Forming relationships is about a LOT more than "can you in theory get hard and function in bed with someone of my gender." When someone identifies as bisexual I do not feel I am necessarily hearing or learning anything about them that goes any further than that until I get to know them better. And for some of them even that assumption is theoretical. Romantically, I think a certain degree of skepticism is warranted until you know someone much better than the bi ID itself ever tells you.

 

[bankside]

I'm a little unclear on how what you or BBN have said and what Gentleheart has said are supposed to be in opposition, honestly.

The pointing out of all of these camps and stripes and mixtures of bisexuality is really an issue of bisexual identity. From the point of view of someone who is not bisexual and may be thinking about the possibility of a relationship with a bisexual person, what Gentleheart said remains even more valid the more camps we can point out in the bisexual tent. I wouldn't want to waste time investing anything emotionally in someone who bonds more closely with women emotionally... or bonds more closely with women sexually... or can't bond intimately with men but loves sex with them.. you get the idea. I'm unsure if a bisexual person could offer me what I would want in a relationship (an equal partnership/investment in all dimensions and flowing both ways equally) unless they were in the category of bonding more with men sexually and emotionally.... and likely for all intents and purposes a "gay guy" in most discernible respects of romance.

My observations about sexuality, not bisexuality.

Bi men are often assumed to be only interested in one gender for sex and the other for romance, or that they only want one gender for romance and sex.

The easiest way to deal with that in my view is to say, yeah, so what? It is true of some bi men, but it is certainly true of some straight men and some gay men too: they only want sex. It was actually a gay man, not a bi man, lecturing me the first time I heard the argument that there's a difference between love and sex. All he was looking for was sex with a man and love with no one.

I see the same distinction but I have never wanted only one of those things, and I would only begin from love. Sex is a great addition to love, but I want that deeper connection before I spend time with anyone, in bed or otherwise.

My own life story shows me I need both. I could fall in love with a woman but I definitely did not want to sleep with a woman when that was the next step in our journey. At least not with that woman. And I had a few shots at sexual experiences with guys before I met my guy, but I called them off either before they got anywhere or even part way through because I didn't want to go through it in a situation with no love and no relationship.

I would never have met my guy through a casual thing like BBN. But one way or another, he, like I seems to get that both sides of a relationship physical and emotional can exist, even if it was a surprise to him. I don't doubt for a second we're both able to appreciate those things and have those things in our lives. Other people though just want a romp in the hay, or they find some people right for romping and others for building a life together. I don't get why having a penis or a vagina makes a difference here. If a bi guy wants to just fuck men and love women, he will. If he wants to fuck women and love men, he will. If he wants to fuck them and love them, he will. And, my point: if he just wants to fuck either of them and love nobody, he will - and that's noooo different from a gay guy who just wants to fuck guys with no strings.

I mean I'm with a guy, I will only be with my guy, and I'm definitely distracted by other hot guys. How is that different if a bi guy is with a guy, will only be with his guy, and gets distracted by a hot pair of lady tits one day?

 

[ElmosToe]

who the hell wants to date? you don't have to date to fuck your brains out.

 

[Gentleheart]

Thankfully Deja came back, i don't know why you pay the above any mind, it's just the usual rehash and bi bashing we have every 5 minutes on here, don't fuck off and leave me here with all the drones.

He pays "the above" some mind because he knows he's hearing the truth.

btw, I KNOW you aren't talking. You're part of the reason there has been such a mass exodus from this site.

PLEASE have several seats.

thank you.

^My life story is in my post; you can see exactly what I steer close to.

Exactly.

Keep proving my point(s). No need to refute.

 

[Gentleheart]

who the hell wants to date? you don't have to date to fuck your brains out.

LOL

omg...keep posting, you guys.

Like I said...this stuff writes itself.

 

[xbuzzerx]

My observations about sexuality, not bisexuality.
(Big post)

I get that there's every flavor and every situation and it varies by individual. But on this forum particularly (and perhaps more broadly in the LGBT community as well) any expression of some hesitancy or skepticism about the theoretical prospect of dating bisexual people is immediately labelled bi-bashing, on the premise that it leaps immediately to the stereotype that bi people will always go cheat on you with the other gender eventually or similar. At the same time, I've flat out seen plenty of bi people say in their own words that they do not emotionally connect with x, or they're not as physically attracted to y. Even if I was not concerned with someone keeping their word to not cheat, I would not want a partner who was either not connecting with me in an important dimension, or secretly didn't or felt he couldn't because I'm male. I would want any and all of those concerns addressed up front as I was getting to know someone romantically who identified as bisexual.

Here at JUB? I get the impression that would be called bi-bashing thinking. But if you didn't exercise exactly the same skepticism and caution when approaching a gay man who seemed to have security issues about his sexuality, or wasn't out of the closet, or wasn't sure if he was ready to be gay, or had just recently left a relationship with a woman, you'd be called foolish or stupid... and rightly so.

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

^To be fair, being on this board for a while there have definitely been some vehement opinions against bisexuals on here, so it is kind of understandable that bisexuals are sensitive to the subject when it pops up. I honestly find a lot of the reasons why people are hesitant with bisexuals to be silly at best considering they should be reasons why you should be hesitant to date anyone regardless of sexual orientation.

I also find it weird that another reason that generally pops up is that people are upset at being cheated on with the opposite sex more than if they were with the same sex. When in the end it is still cheating, the gender of the person is completely irrelevant.

Also the people who consistently suggest that it doesn't exist and that it is a homosexual not accepting their sexuality always chime in on the subject. I think to believe that sexuality is so black and white is small minded, which given one of the users who consistently posts that opinion only reinforces that belief.

 

[xbuzzerx]

^To be fair, being on this board for a while there have definitely been some vehement opinions against bisexuals on here, so it is kind of understandable that bisexuals are sensitive to the subject when it pops up. I honestly find a lot of the reasons why people are hesitant with bisexuals to be silly at best considering they should be reasons why you should be hesitant to date anyone regardless of sexual orientation.

I also find it weird that another reason that generally pops up is that people are upset at being cheated on with the opposite sex more than if they were with the same sex. When in the end it is still cheating, the gender of the person is completely irrelevant.

Also the people who consistently suggest that it doesn't exist and that it is a homosexual not accepting their sexuality always chime in on the subject. I think to believe that sexuality is so black and white is small minded, which given one of the users who consistently posts that opinion only reinforces that belief.

For me like I said in my post, it's not a concern that "bi person is more likely to cheat, and it's worse when it's with another gender." It's that for a bi person who might flat out say something like "I am more attracted to women emotionally/sexually", I feel like if we date there's an element of false pretense or wasting our time. I would not want to be involved with someone whose involvement with me was only giving them a portion of what I was getting.

 

[dereperez]

I think the main problem is that the "bisexuality" label is a huge umbrella that encompasses everything that ranges from "I'm 99% into men, and 1% into women" to "I'm 99% into women, and 1% into men". The people who truthfully lie on either extreme and those that are romantically into one gender versus feel lust for another gender will all be more likely to cheat and break some hearts along the way. I think the sheer nature of bisexuality including such a variety of people causes confusion and skews the statistics to cheating with the opposite sex (not that this should be any worse than a completely straight or gay guy cheating on someone with the same sex, but hey, who am I to say how one should feel). Then you tack on all those people who like to hide under the "bi" label while they "explore" their sexuality, and what you get in the end is complete fuckery.

The bastardization of bisexuality is prominent for all those reasons, and it really sucks, because being labeled "bi" is a negative thing these days. Being bisexual is hardly "getting the best of both worlds"...it really is more like "getting rejected by both sides". Sometimes I really feel that being gay is easier: at least the gay population will accept you. I've had guys and gals not even giving me a stinkin' chance just because I'm "bi". They don't even want to get to know me better. It really, really sucks.

 

[Kulindahr]

I firmly believe you could break this into at least 5 camps - guys who only love and sleep with girls, guys who only love and sleep with guys, guys who genuinely can love either, and then ones where there is love for one gender but sexual interest in both. And I don't think that has anything to do with anyone "not being sure of themselves." I was sure of myself, I was incredibly sure of myself, and then... something changed. The skeptics among you will no doubt say it was there and suppressed all along, but I will stick to my guns on this.

Then there are those who can't imagine leaving without both. I've known two guys like that who were fortunate enough to end up in a triplet, MMF, and are living happily.

Would you even trust a bisexual? Assuming for a moment they exist....

OF COURSE NOT.

CHEATERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


You know it's true.

I still maintain they are just pandering to their ex wives and they ultimately feel deep guilt and shame over not coming out earlier in life. Living the lie in pretend land then later realizing they can't function as such but making a mess of everything by straddling.

You like dick...why not just admit to it and get it over..but you snacked on tuna because you were a COWARD.

Ugly indeed...very ugly!

Why don't you take your hate and ignorance and go off somewhere it's prized? Maybe Rush Limbaugh needs some help.

 

[Kulindahr]

Errrm, how do you define «monogamous» in this context?

For example, one could say: a bisexual guy who is married to a woman and has never sex with another woman, but with one guy or many guys, IS «monogamous» regarding his marriage.

You let the woman decide.

I've met a couple, at a gay bar, where she would let him "frolic" with one guy a month, but it had to be someone she and he chose together.

I didn't make the cut, blast it all anyway.

 

[Gentleheart]

usually hissy fit flounce.

And your usual drop-a-passive-aggressive-post/turd-in-a-thread-and-"run" bullshit. For once, I'd like to see you actually post something that resembles a fucking semi-intelligent conversation/discussion. Go!

We'll wait.

don't short circuit on us now.


btw, don't give yourself too much credit, toots. I didn't leave because of you.

 

[xbuzzerx]

This is an on topic discussion. Get out.

 

[Gentleheart]

thought so.

 

[Gentleheart]

^ Another dead diva who couldn't handle life. shame.

keep going.

you may shit out something that resembles complex thought sooner or later.