Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

[Rolyo85]

Sex and integrity intrigue me. I love a man with self respect, but I don't believe having multiple sex partners means loss of integrity. I can't say I feel the same for porn stars, strippers, and etc unfortunately.

I disagree with the notion that sleeping with multiple guys prevents you from giving something special to your partner. You can hook up with anyone, but you cannot love just anyone. There is such a vast difference between hooking up and committing to a relationship. What is given in a relationship does not equate to what is given (or received) in a hook up.

I've done one night stands and have done the fuck buddy scenario. I'm over it now because people are bat fuck insane. When I was in a relationship I don't lust to do it again with these people nor do I want to. Some guys can easily shift between man hoe while single to an amazing boyfriend. Some guys can't and create secret grindr accounts. It is important to know the difference

Dat truth.

I am an amazing boyfriend btw ^_^

 

[eastofeden]

Or even worse. "Bullied."

Oh yeah...bullies feeling bullied...my favorites

 

[Rolyo85]

I'm sure there are guys who will reject you for a relationship based solely on your sexual history, having nothing to do with religion.
They might fear your inability to stop having multiple sex partners. And for all you know, you may not be able to stop it. Just because you say you can, doesn't make it so. People reject others for all kinds of reason, sexual history being just one possible reason. Choices in life have consequences.
People keep telling others not to judge them for their sexual pasts, but then they do it to those who have limited sexual experience by calling them puritans.

If the sexual history is a factor, that IS based on religion.

Also, both me, and I assume Laufey, have had boyfriends. We KNOW that "we can stop having multiple sex partners". Your less than subtle implication that it's some sort of addiction or disorder, is completely out of line.

And sorry, but to me the puritan crowd getting offended by being called out is like the 'phobes getting offended when gays call them bigots. Calling out bigotry is not itself bigotry.

If promiscuity is not for you, then it's your choice and nobody's damn business. But if you will judge me for being promiscuous, then you're a puritan and a bigot. It's a simple distinction.

 

[JustMe5]

A form of slut-shaming throughout history that's always used against women, against gay men, yet suspiciously never heterosexual males.

Since you mentioned women, picture a woman having had hundreds of different male sex partners. Wouldn't that look absolutely horrible? What man in his right mind would want her after all of that??? So why is it considered acceptable here for a gay man to do it?

And I definitely think that sexual addiction is a big reason for some or perhaps many cases of gay promiscuity. An addiction often goes unrecognized by those who have it.

 

[sixthson]

^^You might want to start reading what people say instead of reading things between the lines that are not there.

 

[eastofeden]

Since you mentioned women, picture a woman having had hundreds of different male sex partners. Wouldn't that look absolutely horrible? What man in his right mind would want her after all of that??? So why is it considered acceptable here for a gay man to do it?

And I definitely think that sexual addiction is a big reason for some or perhaps many cases of gay promiscuity. An addiction often goes unrecognized by those who have it.

NOT AT ALL

...isn't it bad enough you are slut shaming?...now anyone who wants them is not in their right mind? You have the problem. You have Baptist Ladies Syndrome.

 

[eastofeden]

if the sexual history is a factor, that is based on religion.

Also, both me, and i assume laufey, have had boyfriends. We know that "we can stop having multiple sex partners". Your less than subtle implication that it's some sort of addiction or disorder, is completely out of line.

And sorry, but to me the puritan crowd getting offended by being called out is like the 'phobes getting offended when gays call them bigots. Calling out bigotry is not itself bigotry.

If promiscuity is not for you, then it's your choice and nobody's damn business. But if you will judge me for being promiscuous, then you're a puritan and a bigot. It's a simple distinction.

^^^qft^^^

 

[JustMe5]

NOT AT ALL

...isn't it bad enough you are slut shaming?...now anyone who wants them is not in their right mind? You have the problem. You have Baptist Ladies Syndrome.

Please. It's quite ridiculous how you and Rolyo85 are trying to turn this around on what you call "puritans". In fact, you're the ones throwing around different terms to describe us: puritans, bigots, Baptist Ladies Syndrome. Whereas I didn't call anyone here any names.

 

[Rolyo85]

Since you mentioned women, picture a woman having had hundreds of different male sex partners. Wouldn't that look absolutely horrible? What man in his right mind would want her after all of that??? So why is it considered acceptable here for a gay man to do it?

And I definitely think that sexual addiction is a big reason for some or perhaps many cases of gay promiscuity. An addiction often goes unrecognized by those who have it.

You keep posting under the delusion that somehow your worldview - of women or gay men - is universally valid and we're just trying to make excuses for a degrading behavior. You are incorrect. Start reading the posts you respond to, before you respond them. You're repeating yourself in an annoying way that shows you simply aren't paying attention.

 

[Rolyo85]

Please. It's quite ridiculous how you and Rolyo85 are trying to turn this around on what you call "puritans". In fact, you're the ones throwing around different terms to describe us: puritans, bigots, Baptist Ladies Syndrome. Whereas I didn't call anyone here any names.

I could give two fucks whether you've used direct insults, when your entire stance implies I'm a disease-ridden sex-addicted whore with denial syndrome who is incapable of love or commitment, and would be a source of shame and disgust for anyone who would be demented enough to even consider dating me.

Bigots often try to play the victim card when called bigots. I am sorry, my dear, but you are up for elimination.

 

[JustMe5]

You keep posting under the delusion that somehow your worldview - of women or gay men - is universally valid and we're just trying to make excuses for a degrading behavior. You are incorrect. Start reading the posts you respond to, before you respond them. You're repeating yourself in an annoying way that shows you simply aren't paying attention.

This coming from someone who thinks he can speak for everyone:

If the sexual history is a factor, that IS based on religion.

 

[Laufey]

I'm sure you will find someone who doesn't care. However I don't like how people who don't agree with that lifestyle are labeled as puritans with fucked up views.
We're not all the same just as those who have tons of partners are not all hedonists with no self control.

From my perspective, I prefer those who do not have a pattern of serial promiscuity. It's not based on any Christian influence or fucked up view of the human body. It just often weeds out a few qualities that I personally don't click with. It's just a personal preference.

You having it as a personal preference for yourself does not bother me one bit. It being a deal breaker for a relationship however does.

I'd never rule someone out because they have slept with few people.

See the difference?

 

[Nishin]

Since you mentioned women, picture a woman having had hundreds of different male sex partners. Wouldn't that look absolutely horrible?

No ... why should it?

What man in his right mind would want her after all of that???

A man in love?

So why is it considered acceptable here for a gay man to do it?

Why consider it unacceptable for anyone? What exactly is wrong with enjoying sexual pleasure?

 

[Laufey]

I'm not saying the religious view of that person must be the reason for his view. I'm saying Christianity has influences the western culture so much that is the biggest root to people seeing promiscuity as something dirty. The cultural impact can effect peoples morals even if they aren't Christians/religious.

I would never use the term "puritan" to describe someone with few or no sexual partners. I have, however, described the lowered estimation of one's worth as a human based on their sexual history as a "puritan belief."

Same here.

I don't label someone a puritant just for having few sexual partners. I do however when that person is preaching on a high horse and sees me as someone less fit to be in a relationship just because of my sexual history.

 

[eastofeden]

This coming from someone who thinks he can speak for everyone:

I dunno...about 85% of the time across the board he pretty much speaks for me. That rarely happens in my life so it surprises me when it does.

I don't remember him ever saying he thinks he speaks for anyone but himself. Can you show me where he said he thinks he speaks for anyone else but himself...much less "everyone"? I do remember other people saying that about him when they were trying to attack the messenger and ignore the message.

 

[Rolyo85]

You are definitely not my favorite person on this forum...but you get cool points for using that line.

I grow on you with time ^_^

 

[DigitalFudge]

Once you've given that most intimate part of yourself to countless random men, what do you have left to give to a significant other?

I feel this way most times.

It has to mean something for me.

Ok, me as well...

Right in the feels.


Ugh, just as I was going to agree to a fuckbuddy thing with this dude that's been on my jock, too. A mess, back to the struggle I guess.


At least my risk for HPV and Syphilis has been lowered

 

[FlimFlam]

Notice that I'm not calling you a bigot, but you are mirroring EXACTLY the anti-gay-marriage crowd's line of thought: "Don't call me a bigot just because I don't think you should be able to marry".

Your "agreement" with our lifestyle is neither required, nor asked for. What is very glaringly obviously lacking however, is respect for it. Sex is a personal, private thing, and as long as I am not endangering your health, I think you owe me the same amount of respect for my choices that I give you - which is a lot.

By the way, sorry to Christianize your opinion again, but the "few qualities" argument is again tied to sex-guilt. Not that you aren't right in expecting those qualities to be more often associated with a promiscuous person, but you subconsciously equate them with promiscuity, when they aren't necessarily tied to it.

Your pattern of painting other people is laughable. Sex-guilt? I have had tons of sex but a lot of it was with a small number of people. I have a very high sex drive. I have friends that "slut it up" and I don't judge anyone. I, myself, have had my fair share of partners.

What's hilarious is how you talk like you know everything when reading your posts, it's obvious your experience in the world, especially gay life, isn't enough to justify that attitude. And the analogy to anti-marriage bigots is a reach not worth mentioning.

I don't care how much sex you have or how many partners. However, I can't have tons of sex with tons of different partners. To me, it's old, it's a waste of time and most importantly I cannot repeatedly have sex with people I do not know and do not care about. Sex to me is something intimate that is best shared with someone that means something to me. That is my PERSONAL view and feeling and when I pick someone to date, I would like the same. If I'm not dating or fucking you, I don't care AT ALL how many partners you have. Have fun while you can.

Now I would appreciate you not talking about me and my views like you actually know me. Because I have plenty of respect for your lifestyle, whatever that is. I talked about how I personally feel. I don't know anyone here personally so I'm not going to assume anything about anyone else.

 

[bankside]

I'm sure there are guys who will reject you for a relationship based solely on your sexual history, having nothing to do with religion.
They might fear your inability to stop having multiple sex partners. And for all you know, you may not be able to stop it. Just because you say you can, doesn't make it so. People reject others for all kinds of reason, sexual history being just one possible reason. Choices in life have consequences.
People keep telling others not to judge them for their sexual pasts, but then they do it to those who have limited sexual experience by calling them puritans.

Just in case your views are dismissed due to your faith somehow "tainting" your observations, I thought I should signal my agreement: you're making sense and I agree about the tediousness of being called a puritan.

Moreover:
Yes, love and lust are different things. Yes, I want both of them in the same way that I want both food and shelter. To me, they complement each other, and enrich each other when occuring simultaneously. Thus I not only want both, but I would forgo one without the other.

If someone else feels no loss from seeking only unalloyed lust, I hope they will have as much physical pleasure as I do in bed. But it is clear to me that if they want both, too much time spent fucking strangers puts love out of reach.

First of all, sportfucking is a time consuming pastime. If you spend every night at the cinema you will never get to the symphony. Similarly, time spent hooking up is time wasted on finding love. If you spend every night at the cinema, you might run into a symphony fan, but really? And if you spend every night at the cinema, will you have much to talk about when you finally meet the symphony fan of your dreams?

I would have serious doubts about anyone's basic level of skill and awareness and readiness for a relationship if they told me they had fucked a hundred strangers until I came along. The only thing that would make my heart sink faster is if they told me not to worry because "6 of those had been long term relationships. The other 94 were just when I was horny."

Six "long term relationships?" Don't make me laugh. The reason Elizabeth Taylor's history of marriages was such a joke is because everyone realised after the first 5 that she had no fucking clue what she was doing.

And the other 94 just show that someone has probably very little self control. There is a point where being free and open crosses the line to being desperate and unable to show any self discipline. Disciple is one of the great measures of masculinity, and it is sexy. We all get horny. The ability to decide, to set your will to something, all very sexy. When someone fucks a hundred strangers, it starts looking like they have no self control, which is a turn-off especially for someone who wants a relationship and realises what it takes to make it work.

Finally, when people sleep with dozens of strangers they are showing they really don't give a damn whether the people they sleep with have got a disease or not. Sure they might use a condom "most of the time" or "all the time" or "when appropriate" or whatever the personal ad says on the hookup site.

But nothing is foolproof. And I would not be willing to bring that level of risk into the bed of someone I actually love. The level of risk I would be willing to expose someone I love to is basically zero. So any sleeping around before I met him would have really cramped my style when I did meet him. It takes a long time after exposure for a test to show that a person is healthy. I just wouldn't want that hanging over the start of a relationship that could be important to me. Not worth it just for getting off.

 

[eastofeden]

Now I would appreciate you not talking about me and my views like you actually know me. Because I have plenty of respect for your lifestyle, whatever that is. I talked about how I personally feel. I don't know anyone here personally so I'm not going to assume anything about anyone else.

Seriously? YIKES!

Honestly? Because it matters. If you've had hundreds of partners.. what does that mean? That you can't stay with someone long? That you have an insatiable sexual appetite? That you do not care about the safety of your body?
There is SOMETHING amiss there. Now if you go through a phase early in your gay life where you were promiscuous I understand. However, serial promiscuity is just as bad as serial dating. Anything in excess is somewhat odd.

^^This is what YOU said. You also went on to describe people as hedonists with no self control. How can you say you don't "assume" anything?