Undying love for my best friend...please read(long

[NameTaken]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

If you don't go to Vegas soon you could be losing your chance. You need to see him soon. Phone calls can't keep the emotion going forever. You need to see him in person and be able to judge what he's saying as he says it. By talking to him in person you will also be able to judge what his body language and the real meaning for what he is saying as he is saying it. Talknig to somebody face to face doesn't give them enough time to think about what they say before they really say it. You'll know what he REALLY means when he says what he says since it will come out without previous preperation.

 

[LostVegas]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Well I will see him again soon..once I get my bills paid down and once August comes around..cant get there any faster and really cant anyway..I dont have days off till the summer...But its going to be one great week(booking the flight soon)...

Going to take a walk tonight and just think about some things...see if my head gets any clearer...And as far as me losing my chance...Like i said I dont know anymore..all I care about is that we are still as tight as always..and we are..and always will be. Phone calls can and will keep us conveying our emotions to each other, but our emotions come from who we are and the distance between us and the longing for the friendship we had back. Bri

 

[CGHJ]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Hey Brian, that's such a relief to hear, that sounds great. What an awesome guy. He does love you, but now that you're both at this stage, it's something that you have to let grow as friendship, and if it ever comes to anything more because you're in Vegas together then great, if you stay as super-brothers or whatever, it's not like you've lost anything. I actually don't think you're losing your chance either...in fact with all the recent turbulence, now that it's evened out a nice breather might be in order. Absence can make the heart grow even fonder! August will be here before you know it.

 

[LostVegas]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

I completely agree CG..thanks so much....

 

[Kulindahr]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

At this point, Vegas I think you need to ask yourself, "Where is this going?"

I think its important to evaluate the friendship on a different level. If you were straight, if you were his STRAIGHT best friend, would any straight man say these things to another straight man? Is it only because you are gay and have sent out wavelengths of devotion to this level that he has treated you and this friendship this way? Ask yourself, "Where is this going?"

I knew two straight (Evangelical Christian) guys in college who talked almost like this to each other. There is a level of love between people that has nothing to do with sex or romance, a bond of such depth and so rare that it has to borrow language that sounds like romance because it doesn't happen often enough to have its own.
Yes, straight men can talk like this to each other.

 

[frankfrank]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

we are still as tight as always..and we are..and always will be. Phone calls can and will keep us conveying our emotions to each other

I can understand why you feel so torn about what to do. For so many reasons, it sounds like you need to be in NYC for a while, as you are on the verge of reaching a milestone which should affect the quality of your life in a very positive way for years to come.

You know that the phone-thing is workable for you, between now and August, and so far it sounds like Andy is able to deal with the arrangement as well, though NOT easily. I hope for everybody's sake that he can continue to deal with it until August. Almost certainly you two will be living in the same city/area eventually.

Kulindahr, thank you for your description of this kind of love! That was VERY insightful and shows true wisdom on your part. It may be the rarest form of true love between two people.

I will continue to wish that this love will be successful, and that you and Andy can finally be back together. Thank you for keeping us informed on all this.

 

[Kulindahr]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Kulindahr, thank you for your description of this kind of love! That was VERY insightful and shows true wisdom on your part. It may be the rarest form of true love between two people.

I was starting to write, "My pleasure" -- but it wasn't. I cry when I think of them, because I've never had a love like that. Just being in the room with them, you could almost SEE the bond; spending time with them, the world seemed a more wonderful place, because (I swear) their love spilled over and infected others.

I'm willing to bet that if we could spend some time together with Brian and Andy, we'd find the same thing.

I am envious.

 

[voyons]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

This is my first post to this board...I too have fallen in love with my best friend...I still love him but have realized that it won't work out.

However, I am more optimistic for Brian...I dedicate this song by Jim Brickman to your relationship with Andy...

Destiny

What if I never knew
What if I never found you
I'd never have this feeling in my heart
How did this come to be
I don't know how you found me

But from the moment I saw you
Deep inside my heart I knew

Baby you're my destiny
You and I were meant to be
With all my heart and soul
I give my love to have and hold
And as far as I can see
You were always meant to be
My destiny

I wanted someone like you
Someone that I could hold on to
And give my love until the end of time
But forever was just a word
Something I'd only heard about

But now you're always there for me
When you say forever I believe

Baby you're my destiny
You and I were meant to be
With all my heart and soul
I give my love to have and hold
And as far as I can see
You were always meant to be
My destiny

Maybe all we need is just a little faith
'Cause baby I believe
that love will find the way

Baby you're my destiny
You and I were meant to be
With all my heart and soul
I give my love to have and hold
And as I far as I can see
From now until eternity
You were always meant to be
My destiny

 

[strangelittleboy]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

LostVegas where are you?

 

[frankfrank]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

LostVegas, WHERE are you? Are you okay? We're concerned about you, and we all hope that your August plans are still viable and coming along. You've shared so much with us. We care about you. Even if some worst-case scenario has happened, please let us know - we will not run away and desert you. You can search for other "the-worst-case-scenario-happened-to-me" threads, and you can and will see you have friends out here. I know that our presence cannot fully substitute for the time with Brian that you so crave, but we hope you'll accept that option in the meanwhile since being with Brian isn't an option yet for quite a few weeks.

Please don't be embarrassed, we're here and we will gladly listen and continue to wish for your best. Thank you for sharing all that you have shared so far, and can you let us know, please, whether you're doing okay or not?

 

[LostVegas]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Hey everybody, Brian here, back with a long overdue update.

Didn't read my last post before updating so I have no idea where I left off ..so here goes.

My buddy and I have a friendship that still exists and grows tighter and tighter everyday.

Our talks range anywhere from 2-3 times a day..and our longing and missing for each other has intensified..in his words, he says...I miss you more and more everyday and I cant help it..

Hes been pretty depressed recently over our distance.

Things have been on and off again with Matt, and during our off times my buddy seems to be happier and when me and Matt are ok..he seems a little bit worse off...he has flat out told me there are times when he gets jealous that I am hanging out with Matt.

In terms of work..My buddy quit his job one day in..his head was not in the right place..He said hes having trouble at the thought of working. He asked me if I could help him out with money for a few months..He doesnt want to work until after I see him in August..He said when he sees me he wants to hang out all the time 24-7 and he doesnt want work to get in the way..he also said that he is using this time to work on his depression, sleeping problems, etc.

He lies to his friends back at home in NYC and doesnt' let them on bout his work or depression problems.

Her grandpa is there for 12 days and his mom is leaving for 6 weeks after Mother's Day.

And as for me..I am beginning my last of 4 courses I have to take tomorrow for my Masters...Im thinking of starting a second Masters this summer also...

I cannot wait to see my brother in August.

My parents want to go to Vegas this summer too...so I might be out there with them.

Work is going fine..winding down for the summer.

Thanks for all the concern, but Im ok...been staying away from this thread for a bit, but not the board...I will keep the updates coming more frequently, I promise...Hope all is well with you guys...Brian

 

[Kyanimal]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Great to hear from you, again, Bri!

August is getting closer and closer!!

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[Kulindahr]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Brian, it ROCKS hearing from you again!!
Summer approaches, and the weeks will tick by and it will be August... keep on keepin' on till then!

 

[LostVegas]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Last night had a pretty amazing call with my buddy.

Spoke for 3 hours...he kept saying he never wants to hang up with me.

The whole conversation was about Matt.

He said I dont want to sound mean or selfish Bri..but Matt is coming between us...I see you becoming closer and closer to him everyday...and it hurts me..and Im jealous..You know full well he wont come to Vegas if you decide to go and I know you love him and you will stay here..He said Matt wouldn't come to Vegas because he would be jealous of the time you spend with me and see me as competition...me and you had plans Bri and I dont want anything to ever take that away..I want you in my life..I need to see your face.

There were several times..for minutes at a time, where we would say nothing and listen to us breathing..then I would say, do you want to go? and he would say no, i want to stay on the phone for the next 10 hours..

He mentioned that he made like 8 new friends out there and one very good one and all the things they did..and my heart sank..and I went quiet..and he goes whats wrong? and I go nothing...and he goes you see that silence you had? what was that?

I said my heart was breaking when he was talking about his friends..

He goes well i made up the whole thing to show you..that the way you just felt, is the way my heart breaks everyday..

He goes brian, if the situation was reversed and I was with someone for just 3 months I would come out to live near you...he said that he was 3 months into his relationship with his girl..that he wanted to go to Vegas with is friend but he got STUCK with his girl..i go what do you mean..he said after 3 months i didn't love her but she was saying he loved him everyday and was clingy and he didn't have the balls to end it with her..he said hes afraid i will be stuck here.

I talked to him about maybe convincing Matt to go to Vegas to share payments on a house with me..and he goes Bri, I thought you were always going to do that with me?????

It was such a sweet call and while im talking im thinking, its so cool we talk like this..and i wish he was gay, I mean doesn't all his words sound gay? Hey im not clinging to that anymore, but his words are so sweet, no straight guys say that to their friends..

I sent him the money today..and we talked a little more..he said we are unique friends because we talk all the time and about anything...he said he would help me find someone out there...he said hes going to be honest he doesn't like matt...and if he ever saw him he wouldn't last a second(oooh 2 men fighting over me)..andy said he likes how me and him are protective of each other and he doesn't want that to end...

When it was all said and done he said that eventually Im going to have to choose between him and Matt..and who is more important to me..

His girl was upset and crying over their not being married yet, etc the other night and he has told me he wants to giver this 5k wedding that she saw in Vegas, supposedly comes with some nice things for a cheap price..he was upset that she was upset..so Im pretty sure they will be getting married within the next 6 months to year or two...

For those of you wondering about me and Matt..It seems to be an on and off relationship..we are just trying to work some stuff out.

My buddy said that he realizes hes battling Matt for attention when it comes to me..

I think my buddy is not only jealous of Matt but also jealous that my attention is away from him..

He said hes afraid because Im over here with Matt and he cant control anything..and that he doesnt know Andy and his girl..he said If I met someone out there in Vegas it would be easier for him because he would get to grow and know him and his girl, and we could all be one family...I dont know, I have been loving our calls recently, they get more and more mushier.Bri

 

[Undisclosed]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

You respect his girlfriend, he should do the same with Matt or whoever boyfriend you will have.... the point is... he has more feeling for you than he is willing to admit or.... and I'm sorry to say you this... he is using you.

 

[CGHJ]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Are you starting to believe now Brian?

Dude, he's in love with you. Go to Vegas and get a house with him and live happily ever after!

Break up with Matt. Break up with Matt, and commit to Andy. With all due respect undisclosed, nobody needs to respect the other's ___friend. Brian and Andy are meant to be together and the only people that don't know it yet are the S.O.s in their lives.

I'm so happy for you!

 

[NameTaken]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

You respect his girlfriend, he should do the same with Matt or whoever boyfriend you will have.... the point is... he has more feeling for you than he is willing to admit or.... and I'm sorry to say you this... he is using you.

I've been thinking the same thing the entire time, but whatever, some people need to find out for themselves.

 

[GayBoiJared]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

and I'm sorry to say you this... he is using you.

I've been thinking the same thing the entire time, but whatever, some people need to find out for themselves.

I wanted to post something along those lines, but I didn't wanna be the one to rain on Brian's parade.

Basically, I have come to notice a pattern with Andy: Around the times that he needs cash, Brian comes on here and tells us that things are going well between them, and then when he doesn't, Brian comes on here feeling down.

I am sorry to say, but I really think that Andy is using you Brian.

We only want whats best for you Brian and I don't think Andy is that. I don't think he is jealous, I think he is worried that if you get serious with Matt, Matt will have a problem with you always bailing him out financially.

Remember, it is always easier for the person on the outside looking in to see these things. Give Matt a chance, and tell us about him, how does he treat you? What is he like?

 

[Kyanimal]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

I'll cast my lot with what CGHJ said! Bri! YOU and ANDY were MEANT to BE With Each Other!! You KNOW it! ANDY knows it, too! You are BOTH holding everyone else, His Girl, and "Your" Matt, at arm's length!

But ... You also KNOW You HAVE to do your School "stuff"! (And, so does Andy!) As much as You may Love Her, DO NOT let Andy get married! NO ONE will be Happy with That! (Including His Girl, eventually!)

Stay Your Course! But ... also ... "use" August as a good "Tight" visit! (I'm still willing to kick in those miles, should You wish to use them! )

Maybe convince Him to move back with You for the year, or so, it will take to get your degree(s)? Just a thought ...

You've got an amazing BOND going, Bri! You're BOTH feeling it! And though Andy may still be "going with" His "Italian Stallion Syndrome", I'm still willing to bet there's a LOT of "Possibility" there for You!!

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[Undisclosed]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

With all due respect undisclosed, nobody needs to respect the other's ___friend.

You are right to some extent... Andy has a life on his own, and Brian should have one too... regardless of this friendship with Andy...

I dont think he should tie to this wishful feeling and be all his life the second in line, as right now all what Andy is offering is a friendship... nothing more...

You Brian have put yourself in a loose/loose situation... you might loose this amazing friendship you have with Andy but, in the other hand you might loose all the possivilities to have a full life and a meaningful realtionship with someone who is willing to give you back all the love you have to offer.

I think you Brian should push things to the limit... and you will find out that, if he really have feelings for you, he will commit to you, and if not... so be it... you wasn't going to have a bright future around him.

Sorry for my bad english and sorry for being a little harsh...

Anyhow I hope the best for you Brian.