Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)
I dont know what to say...Im at a loss for words...It is amazing how much things can change...feelings can evolve..moods can shift..after only a day..with just one single phone call. But that is what happened last night.
My buddy called me at around 12:30am my time..9:30pm Vegas time.
I groggily said " Hello?"...you see I was dozing a little...all my tears ran out..put on some AM Talk Radio(Coast2Coast AM-Art Bell, if you must know), and drifted off.
He asked, "Did I catch you at a bad time? Were you sleeping?"
"Just dozing I said..whats up?" I said this very casually..but couldnt contain my elation that he had actually called.
He proceeded to say "Brian...I been thinking...I want you to come out to Las Vegas."
"Buddy..." I said..."I been thinking bout what you told me last time we spoke..."
"I want you to be quiet for long while and let me speak...shut your mouth and listen.."
"Buddy," he continued..."Im having a problem...I want you out here...I miss the friendship that we used to have...I dont like the way things are right now...it is getting to the point that Im going to come home to NYC, and I know thats wrong. Things are bothering me and they shouldnt be bothering me, but they are. Before you answer this..I want you to think about it. Are you happy in NYC? Because Im not happy here...and if you are unhappy for even more than one day out of the week, thats one day too many..."
"Im worried about things," he said.."But things are starting to look ok..we both have job..they dont pay much..even combined they dont pay much...but at least we are making it..But it all doesnt feel right...its not going to feel complete unless/until you are out here. I know you have a sexual life with Matt...but I also know Vegas is your home...Im not your brother, but I damn sure feel like we are brothers..my girl aint your sister, but she considers you family..as does my mother..we love you out here...we are your home and your family...you need to come back home.You can go for therapy here to work on your problems...I need to go too..maybe we can go together.."
During this time my phone went off several times with text messages..he asked who that was..I said Matt..and he goes well hes going to have to wait a minute..Im talking to you..
"Remember when I told you I was having trouble sleeping again and I had problems with my mind?...Im having trouble sleeping because of you Bri..because you are not out here. Its not a problem with my mind, its a problem with my heart. I miss you so much...things aint right out here now. The last time we spoke..I got a little mad..I didnt answer some of your calls..you know what I was doing? I was testing myself to se in some way if I could ignore you..be mad at you and not have you in my life..and I couldnt do any of that, not even for a little..You wont have to worry about a place to live..you can live with my mother or even me until things get better, you wont have any bills..Ill help you look for a place to work..You would complete everything for me by coming out here..August is way, way too long to even see you again. You know I have many friends and I will make many more friends..but you are different..you are not the type of person that someone wants to let go..they want to just hold on to you."
He said that he had to go...but he said to remember that I will meet someone out here, and that him and his fiancee agreed that it would be hard for me to leave for Vegas if I get any deeper with Matt...he said to go call Matt and we will speak again soon..He said to please think about everything, because he knows how unhappy we both are that we are not in the same state.
I was so glad he called guys and just so dumbfounded that he came back with all this emotion, at a time when I thought he would LEAST say or do anything like this. He truly is an exceptional person.
Im still in shock as I write this...I thought things had taken a turn for the worse..and its the opposite...All I ever wanted was for our friendship to be in tact like it once was..and it is..and I couldnt thanks God enough for that

. BRIAN
P.S.-Kul...I didnt write those lyrics..those are of a song called Whats Left of Me..by the handsome and masculine and sexy Nick Lachey.
