The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

Undying love for my best friend...please read(long

Status
Not open for further replies.
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

been there done that, good luck, seriuosly
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Woke up today depressed and a little down. Dont really know why. My buddy didnt call last night, he was out playing poker. Wish I was there with him having a good time.

I dont know what to do anymore. :confused:

If I go live and move to Vegas this summer its going to take a lot of sacrifice..and Ill have to live with his mother for a while till I get on my feet.

If I stay here another year I can get my PhD, work on my comedy(I want to try stand up, and NYC is good for that) and I want to save more money up for a car, etc...

I also thought how I dont want the little things(long phone calls, mushy stuff) to end between us..and I just have this odd feeling, even though things worked out fine yesterday...

I thought about him getting married and having kids for some reason and it got me down.. !oops!

I know some of you are angry/frustrated with my progression or lack thereof with this situation. It is hard. I know I need to move on from him in some ways..but its not a flick of a light-switch..its not night and day..black or white..its not easy.

I do enjoy, regardless of your advice, the posts you guys put on here.

Just venting my thoughts this morning. His girl is one lucky girl.

Talk to you later...

Oh yeah Brokeback was cool...didnt know that it would end like that...and the way Heath Ledger talked kind of scared/annoyed me :eek: lol...but if I had to Identify with anyone, it would be Ennis' wife oddly enough..because I felt the pain she had..knowing someone you love aint really in love with you but with another person...

Out of the two guys..I am definitely a Jack Twist... ;)

Take care for now..Brian
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Hey, Bri ... :kiss: (*8*)

We've ALL come to Care about YOU! And, of course, enjoy talking WITH You, ABOUT You (and Andy), and, obviously, AT You! Which I'm going to do, some more, right now ...

It sounds like NY is your Right road! It sounds like You pretty much have your Feet on the ground, and a clear Eye to Your Future, in New York City! It sounds like it's The Place for You to BE. Doing exactly what You're doing! And, yeah!, it sounds like You KNOW that, too!

But Your HEART is in LV, with Andy! With all the "What IF's", and "Wouldn't it be Nice ... IF!". And all those "IF's" are causing turmoil, frustration, and confusion ... for Both of you, and, yeah!, "Us", too! Of course We're ALL wishing the Very Best for Both of You!

But the Truth is ... Andy is following His Road (with Your Help!), and YOU should be, and are, following Your Road. It's unfortunate that you're not currently together! But ... You ARE Together in Your Friendship! And it's quite likely that both Roads will merge again in the Future! Right NOW, though, You need to pursue what is Right for YOU!

So ... a move to LV? Sorry! I don't think that would be a Good Move right now! But a Visit? Yeah! That would be "Kewl"!

You, Bri, are one of the "Good Guys", with a Huge Heart! And you also seem to have a Smart, Solid, Practical, Head on your young shoulders! TIME is on your side! Indulge your Heart ... yeah! But, for now, follow your Head! Your Heart shall be fulfulled, eventually, one way, or the other. But the Important things, that will be the foundation for your Future, are being where you are, and doing what you should be, in NY! You may be Wanting something else ... but you are definitely Doing what is Right! For NOW ... (group)

Keep smilin'!! :kiss: (*8*)
Ky ;)
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Brian, take care of yourself first. If the saving money and getting your doctorate is what you want, do it. I'm really not a fan of orienting ones life around one person. But in the end, do what will bring happiness.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Brian, on a non-Andy note, what subject are you getting your masters and eventually PhD in? Just curious.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Im getting my masters in education and special ed..and Im going for a PhD in school administration..Brian
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

strangelittleboy said:
I've never even been kissed, so...no.

You will be dude! I hope that it happens for you soon. But I'll give you this piece of advice for when it comes up, the only way to make someone love you is to be loveable. Believe me, when I was young I tried the whiny crying thing...it drives people away, even if they do love you and want to help you. It's def a lesson I learned the hard way.

Brian, you def have a conflict. I'll have to be honest with you, from what you just described I would stay in NYC. Although...you'd think Las Vegas would have a lot of room for stand-ups as well. And it also has the fastest-expanding school system in the country...

I def wouldn't go out there and have to stay with his mom...that's not likely to work out well.

You have to balance the pros and cons, and only you know what Andy is really worth to you. I've never seen two people more in love, so there's that. But believe it or not, if you two don't get together both of you will fall in love with someone else. The pain of love I never thought would go away eventually went away, several times over. I had to help my buddy Joe pack up and go back to Minnesota with his wife and kid because it was the best thing for him, and I thought I was gonna die. Eventually I got over it though, and you will too.

I don't envy you, that is a tough choice to have to make. Good luck bro.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Don't think you should go to LV unprepared. Go visit him, but that should be it. You don't want to end up in the same situation as him having to worry about how to pay the bills and asking people for money.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Hey guys whats up?

Hope everyone's day went well...thank god for this board.

I admittedly felt and still feel down today..Have not heard from him..hopefully thats just because hes working...


CG..You seem to have a lot of hope for us...saying how we are both in love with each other..While I am with him..Im not too certain its the other way around....like he told me last time we spoke..he loves me like a brother with all the love that he can...he started to see the situation as weird..

I told him I was in love with him a few weeks ago and he took it well and got even more mushy with me..but when I told him that I still had the feelings..he freaked a little..not sure exactly about what..since he was ok with it the first time around..I think he was just looking back on all we did and said and started second guessing some things..He told me its a problem that I am going to have to work on...

Im confused what to do..but certainly my education comes first, so that gives me a little more time to think about it....if I do stay here..I will pretty much visit him on all my weeks and long weekends off during the year....from pretty much the time that he left till august will be the longest gap without seeing him...after that..it would be every few weeks Id see him..so that would certainly make the year go by quick..and on the plus side ill have my masters and phd and some more money..and a chance to be gay and meet people and date, etc..and maybe try the comedy stuff on the side..

Its going to be a process...like I told him last we spoke..did you honestly think that last time..a few weeks ago when I said I had feelings for you..that that was it? that it was over?...Its going to be a process..

I just hope I didnt screw things up so bad that he is out of my life, or that our friendship will be different..I wouldnt want that at all..
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Been thinking all day..bout what my buddy said..and what I think sometimes..

Maybe its just easier to play it straight..I know if I sleep with a woman I can get aroused, etc..and I would like kids too...things would be easier...I know Ill get beaten down with comments..just how Im feeling tonight...Im so lost..in tears right now..bah :(
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

What you do with your sexuality is your business. I would like to know, however, how you think being straight will change your feeling for Andy?
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Dont know what it would do...these are my thoughts..rambling..contradictory..repetitive..confusing...i bear my soul and my heart and my mind on here....I dont know..just feeling a bit alone tonight...

Watched my life pass me by -- in the rearview mirror
Pictures frozen in time -- are becoming clearer
I don't wanna waste another day -- stuck in the shadow of my mistakes -- yeah

Cause I want you -- and I feel you -- crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger, like a burnin -- to find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken, and I'm faded -- I'm half the man I thought I would be
But you can have -- what's left of me.


I've been dying inside -- little by little
Nowhere to go -- I'm goin outta my mind
An endless circle -- runnin from myself until
You gave me a reason for standing still

Fallin' faster -- barely breathing
Give me somethin to believe in
Tell me it's not all in my head
*pause*
Take what's left of this man
Make me whole once again

Cause I want you -- and I feel you -- crawling underneath my skin
A hunger, like a burnin -- to find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken, and I'm faded -- I'm half the man I thought I was
You can have, all that's left, (yeah, yeah, yeah) what's left of me

I've been dying inside you see
I'm goin outta my mind (outta my mind, outta my mind, outta my mind)
I'm just runnin' in circles all the time
Will you take what's left? x3 -- of me
I'm just runnin' in circles in my mind
Will you take what's left? x3 -- of me
Take what's left of me
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

You didn't make any mistakes. Stop beating yourself up!!!
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

LostVegas said:
Dont know what it would do...these are my thoughts..rambling..contradictory..repetitive..confusing...i bear my soul and my heart and my mind on here....I dont know..just feeling a bit alone tonight...

Watched my life pass me by -- in the rearview mirror
Pictures frozen in time -- are becoming clearer
I don't wanna waste another day -- stuck in the shadow of my mistakes -- yeah

Cause I want you -- and I feel you -- crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger, like a burnin -- to find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken, and I'm faded -- I'm half the man I thought I would be
But you can have -- what's left of me.


I've been dying inside -- little by little
Nowhere to go -- I'm goin outta my mind
An endless circle -- runnin from myself until
You gave me a reason for standing still

Fallin' faster -- barely breathing
Give me somethin to believe in
Tell me it's not all in my head
*pause*
Take what's left of this man
Make me whole once again

Cause I want you -- and I feel you -- crawling underneath my skin
A hunger, like a burnin -- to find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken, and I'm faded -- I'm half the man I thought I was
You can have, all that's left, (yeah, yeah, yeah) what's left of me

I've been dying inside you see
I'm goin outta my mind (outta my mind, outta my mind, outta my mind)
I'm just runnin' in circles all the time
Will you take what's left? x3 -- of me
I'm just runnin' in circles in my mind
Will you take what's left? x3 -- of me
Take what's left of me


You wrote that?!

That is impressive!! Good stuff!!

If Andy doesn't have the hots for you, if he isn't in love and doesn't hook himself to you... he is seriously losing out.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Hey, guys, I gotta ask this:

Are there any contributions for Brian in the mail, or any of you who was going to send one? I need to know soon, because I'm house sitting and need to stop the mail service if none are coming.

PM me!
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

I dont know what to say...Im at a loss for words...It is amazing how much things can change...feelings can evolve..moods can shift..after only a day..with just one single phone call. But that is what happened last night.

My buddy called me at around 12:30am my time..9:30pm Vegas time.

I groggily said " Hello?"...you see I was dozing a little...all my tears ran out..put on some AM Talk Radio(Coast2Coast AM-Art Bell, if you must know), and drifted off.

He asked, "Did I catch you at a bad time? Were you sleeping?"

"Just dozing I said..whats up?" I said this very casually..but couldnt contain my elation that he had actually called.

He proceeded to say "Brian...I been thinking...I want you to come out to Las Vegas."

"Buddy..." I said..."I been thinking bout what you told me last time we spoke..."

"I want you to be quiet for long while and let me speak...shut your mouth and listen.."

"Buddy," he continued..."Im having a problem...I want you out here...I miss the friendship that we used to have...I dont like the way things are right now...it is getting to the point that Im going to come home to NYC, and I know thats wrong. Things are bothering me and they shouldnt be bothering me, but they are. Before you answer this..I want you to think about it. Are you happy in NYC? Because Im not happy here...and if you are unhappy for even more than one day out of the week, thats one day too many..."

"Im worried about things," he said.."But things are starting to look ok..we both have job..they dont pay much..even combined they dont pay much...but at least we are making it..But it all doesnt feel right...its not going to feel complete unless/until you are out here. I know you have a sexual life with Matt...but I also know Vegas is your home...Im not your brother, but I damn sure feel like we are brothers..my girl aint your sister, but she considers you family..as does my mother..we love you out here...we are your home and your family...you need to come back home.You can go for therapy here to work on your problems...I need to go too..maybe we can go together.."

During this time my phone went off several times with text messages..he asked who that was..I said Matt..and he goes well hes going to have to wait a minute..Im talking to you..

"Remember when I told you I was having trouble sleeping again and I had problems with my mind?...Im having trouble sleeping because of you Bri..because you are not out here. Its not a problem with my mind, its a problem with my heart. I miss you so much...things aint right out here now. The last time we spoke..I got a little mad..I didnt answer some of your calls..you know what I was doing? I was testing myself to se in some way if I could ignore you..be mad at you and not have you in my life..and I couldnt do any of that, not even for a little..You wont have to worry about a place to live..you can live with my mother or even me until things get better, you wont have any bills..Ill help you look for a place to work..You would complete everything for me by coming out here..August is way, way too long to even see you again. You know I have many friends and I will make many more friends..but you are different..you are not the type of person that someone wants to let go..they want to just hold on to you."

He said that he had to go...but he said to remember that I will meet someone out here, and that him and his fiancee agreed that it would be hard for me to leave for Vegas if I get any deeper with Matt...he said to go call Matt and we will speak again soon..He said to please think about everything, because he knows how unhappy we both are that we are not in the same state.

I was so glad he called guys and just so dumbfounded that he came back with all this emotion, at a time when I thought he would LEAST say or do anything like this. He truly is an exceptional person.

Im still in shock as I write this...I thought things had taken a turn for the worse..and its the opposite...All I ever wanted was for our friendship to be in tact like it once was..and it is..and I couldnt thanks God enough for that (*8*) . BRIAN

P.S.-Kul...I didnt write those lyrics..those are of a song called Whats Left of Me..by the handsome and masculine and sexy Nick Lachey. ;)
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

At this point, Vegas I think you need to ask yourself, "Where is this going?"

I think its important to evaluate the friendship on a different level. If you were straight, if you were his STRAIGHT best friend, would any straight man say these things to another straight man? Is it only because you are gay and have sent out wavelengths of devotion to this level that he has treated you and this friendship this way? Ask yourself, "Where is this going?"
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Dont know exactly where this is going..all I know is that 2 great, deep friends miss each other...and all I know is I still have my best friend...thats all thats important to me right now.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Oh, hun, I can imagine how that made you feel. It sounds as though he's being more open with you than in the past. I'd go out there first and have a nice face to face talk. After that I think you can evaluate the feasibility of you uprooting yourself. But remember, YOUR NEEDS COME FIRST. Then his/the two of you.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top