a fronts moving in cause.....marvtha's back!!!!
 
 
marvtha wasn't away but 2 days on my trek to see martha (mother).
she didn't know me even after all my explaining and it takes a lot for me to remember shit so that was a chore!
 ](*,)](/images/smilies/bang.gif) 
 
mother's brain is more pickled than a herring!

  she just kept asking for booze! 
"one of you ugly bitches bring me a glass of vino" she'd shout! i didn't understand cause i was the only person in roonm with her!!!
 
  
 
after 10 minutes of that noise i said "fuck it" and gave her my flask.
 some people carry first aid...marvtha have other emergencies....don't judge me!
 
 
anyway she polished off the whole flask; looked me in the eyes...well kinda (couldn't focus) and said "i love you."

 then passed out!
now marvtha realize she told me this cause i gave the big boozer her life blood and she was grateful but.....i'm tearing up 

 ....i got to hear those 3 words come from her mouth!
 
 
after that soap opera moment marvtha needed a drink! mother done polished off reserves so i found the nearest bar! 
it was called "drag in"
you queers would love this place....men dressing as women!
 
 
marvtha got soooooo drunk and was singing along to the songs despite the plastic umbrellas  and boos being thrown my way. marvtha was having blast!
 
 
after the show the "girls" invited me backstage!
 
 
oh i got drunk with babs, cher, liza, madonna, clay aiken....all the girls were there!
 
 
we were having a gay ol time when in stumbles this one drag queen smelling of whiskey, white diamonds and formaldehyde.
he/she looked like that fella bea arthur and rosie o'donnell but in woman's clothes!
 
 
he/she kept apologizing for missing her spot.
"well if it isn't the belle of the ball. a day late and a darvon short." they grumbled!
he/she looked towards me. our eyes met and time stood still!

 it was like looking in a mirror but he/she wasn't tacky as ol' marvtha and wore less makeup. 
after i apply my face mama always says "you want some syrup with that pancake?" 
 
 
anyway...there was this connection or maybe it was just an aneuyrysm???
 
 
he/she must've felt it too though because soon after....MARVTHA GOT LAID!
 
 
OH yes there was actual..insertion!:thewave: well what little there was to go in

 his thingie look like a big wad of grape bubble gum!
 
 
but it sure being pissed on, or come splattered!!
he/she ended up puking afterwards then hyperventilating. "i've never been with a woman before. what came over me?" he gasped!
 
 
i replied "well i ain't ever been fucked by a guy before while his dress was above his waist and panty hose around his ankles!"

  why question fate?
 git r done!
 
 
he/she finally calmed down after marvtha let him suck on my pacifer
 
 
after that i only remember.... lots of booze, party favors and show tunes!
 
 
next thing i remember i was laying in the gravel in front of our house with mama shaking me "why did bette midler throw you out of that van full of girls? she barely made a complete stop." she hollered.
i wish i could play dumb but  really had no idea!
 
  
 
"the girls were late for bible study" i replied.
like expired milk....mama not buying it.
 
 
anyway marvtha's trip wasn't waste of time.
martha (mother) told me that she loved me..kinda........now you stop!
 
 
 AND i think i met my soul mate??: who just happens to be a drag queen and who's name i don't recall
 
 
maybe i gave he/she my number???? i can't remember hours of stuff little alone details!!!
 
 
one regret though...i never got to meet my half-brother bellamy! 
 
 
okay marvtha still recovering so
i'm outtie marvtha