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Undying love for my best friend...please read(long

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Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

LostVegas said:
No didnt mean the calories and fat thing as a reference to you..just saying in general...sorry if you thought otherwise my friend.
hugsmilie.gif
Brian


BTW Hot gallery...
jagoff[1].gif
no offense taken, buddy!

and to be UPFRONT with you, that pic on my profile page is NOT me.
yd.gif
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Me and my buddy read each other so well, it is scary. And I really mean scary..
that's how my buddy Steve and I were. Sometimes during our all-nighters (conversations, etc.) we would sit there and stare into each other's eyes....for a loooong time. Can't say what he was feeling/thinking then, but my stomach was doing flip-flops and my.........yeah.
Steve would say "the eyes are the window to the soul." I think that's one reason why he said (Alan Parsons Project) "Eye in the Sky" was "our" song.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Hey Jake...thats so awesome and sweet to hear about you and your buddy.

What does your signature say/mean at the bottom of your replies?

Me and my bro's song is Wind of Change, because he would always play it for me when we took our long drives..

Winds of Change

I follow the Moskva
Down to Gorky Park
Listening to the wind of change
An August summer night
Soldiers passing by
Listening to the wind of change

The world is closing in
Did you ever think
That we could be so close, like brothers
The future's in the air
I can feel it everywhere
Blowing with the wind of change

Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow dream away
in the wind of change

Walking down the street
Distant memories
Are buried in the past forever
I follow the Moskva
Down to Gorky Park
Listening to the wind of change

Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow share their dreams
With you and me
Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow dream away
in the wind of change

The wind of change
Blows straight into the face of time
Like a stormwind that will ring the freedom bell
For peace of mind
Let your balalaika sing
What my guitar wants to say

Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow share their dreams
With you and me
Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow dream away
in the wind of change

:(
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Brian, you're sounding more positive -- great to hear!

I have to agree: don't hold back anything from Andy. He knows you can be open with him, and by making him plead, you're hurting him.

As for finances -- once again, I'll remkind you that there are dollars on my desk, and miles from Ky.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

I really like this part:

The world is closing in
Did you ever think
That we could be so close, like brothers
The future's in the air
I can feel it everywhere
Blowing with the wind of change

Sounds like that describes you and Andy perfectly.

Eye in the Sky

Don't think sorry's easily said
Don't try turning tables instead
You've taken lots of Chances before
But I'm not gonna give anymore
Don't ask me
That's how it goes
Cause part of me knows what you're thinkin'

Don't say words you're gonna regret
Don't let the fire rush to your head
I've heard the accusation before
And I ain't gonna take any more
Believe me
The sun in your Eyes
Made some of the lies worth believing
Chorus:

I am the eye in the sky
Looking at you
I can read your mind
I am the maker of rules
Dealing with fools
I can cheat you blind
And I don't need to see any more
To know that
I can read your mind, I can read your mind

Don't leave false illusions behind
Don't Cry cause I ain't changing my mind
So find another fool like before
Cause I ain't gonna live anymore believing
Some of the lies while all of the Signs are deceiving
(chorus)

The signature text is from "Beowulf" (Old English-sometime before 1066). It says, "Nor did that horrible monster think to delay. No! He stepped forward without delay; grabbed the sleeping warrior..." Then it gets really gorey after that.

Yeah, I'm a geeky nerd. (Or am I a nerdy geek?)
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Hey guys..back with another update. :D

Buddy called me late last night and we talked until 6am again. Im so tired when he calls and lately I have been losing much sleep because of the time difference of our calls, but when it comes to him..I dont really mind. :D

The phone call was very sweet. He was extremely depressed, however.

He said he misses me so much and that Ii must be sick of hearing him say that.

He said hes not sure whats bothering him..and I go its the money buddy..he goes yeah it is, but its more. He said sometimes he thinks money will solve his problems and other times he thinks even if he had a million dollars, it wouldnt solve anything. He said the problem is that I am not out there. :(

He said meeting me was like hitting the lottery. (*8*)

I tried to get to the root of his problems and why he couldnt work..and what maybe is the cause of all his depression and anxiety. I didnt have much like as I tried to play the therapist role. Either I hit it on the head and he didnt tell me, or I was way off. I talked to him about his parents divorcing and some other things that might have happened with him.

We ended the call around 6..we both very much did not want to go.

While at work all I could think about sometimes was Andy.

There is this kid Marcus at school(8th grade-14 yrs old-tough street kid). He has issues. Abuse issues. You could tell. He behaves terribly at school, cursing all the teachers out and all that good stuff. He took to me for some reason all year and we have become close. He cries sometimes that he will graduate and not see me anymore. A teacher called the police on him last week because he snapped..and I sat with him all day.

I just sat there and asked him if anything is bothering him..is everything ok at home..and he just broke down crying and hugged me. He said his moms boyfriend steals from him and he cant stand life anymore. He resorts to stealing and lashing out at others. I have told him if he ever needs anything to come to me first, do not steal, etc..

Anyway we have a nice bond..and the other day for no reason on the blackboard, he wrote "Im going to miss Mr. T because hes like a father to me and cares for me..." It made me tear up..Im going to miss him very much when he goes...I wish I could adopt him and make sure that he stays on the right path, thats how much I care for him.

I mention this kid Marcus because he reminds me of me..and my buddy. I have told Marcus countless times that he reminds me of my buddy..but that I want Marcus to follow a different path. I told him the importance of graduating high school and keeping on a good track. He is an incredibly smart kid, but with deep emotional issues. I hold him close to my heart.

I told him anywhere, anytime he needs help and he has no one to talk to or come to or he needs any type of help..he knows where to find me. Marcus took such a liking to me that when I come in the room he tells me all that has gone on and when some of the other kids give me lip he gets very overprotective of me..its kind of cute.

But anyway I came home and my buddy called. I said whats up and all I got was dead air...He was very down. I kept trying to get him to talk..and he just said I miss you so much bro..I really do. I always tell him I miss him back of course..and sometimes I wonder how many times he can actually say it lol. But he still does..and Im glad when he does. :D

I told him of the song Winds of Change and he goes of course I remember that song..then he went to play a song by 50 cent...and I go whats that one called..and he goes Best Friend...and then he went to play Nick Lacheys Whats Left of Me? again..and when he came back on the phone I go "thats my boy right there!" and he started laughing.. :D

I asked him when the Mets are playing next..and I talked to him about how hot some of the Mets are..and he goes is everything a sausage fest for you!!?? and we both started laughing...he said me and Matt must do other stuff during the baseball games when we watch them..and I said of course!! :-)

He said its so cool that we can talk about stuff like this, and thats why he loves me so much because he doesnt have this friendship with anyone else, ever.

He said something odd next. He goes "I dont know bro..I feel like less of a man.." And I go, is it because of the money situation?? And he goes "No, I miss you..its because you are not here..." And I go what has that got to do with you feeling like less of a man? He goes "I dont really know..I need you out here..I dont feel complete.." !oops!

We hung up a little later on at 3pm in the afternoon and I soon fell asleep. I woke up at 11:30pm :eek:

I woke up to another call by him. He was amazed that I slept so long..I told him its all his calls and the time difference and now Im paying for it lol. He talked more about missing each other. He said I sound tired and for me to go wake myself up and call him later.

So here I am..not tired..and I decided to update....Will talk more with you guys later, hope all is well...Brian (!)
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Hey all 5:48am here on the east coast....cannot believe it, but I slept even more after my last reply :eek: ...I really caught up on it.

I awoke at 4:30 to my buddys call..he said he has been trying to call me....and sure enough when I looked between my cell and my reg phone he had called me 16 times!!!!!!!!

Anyway our talk was the usual longing for each other...there was literally a time for like 10 minutes when we were not even talking..and I said bro thats ok, talk when you want...you dont have to utter a word. :cool:

He said Im a different friend to him and thanks for coming into his life..he says sometimes he still cant believe Im gay...and that he cant wait to see me. (*8*)

Well thats all for now, talk to you all soon. Brian
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Buddy called me late last night and we talked until 6am again. Im so tired when he calls and lately I have been losing much sleep because of the time difference of our calls, but when it comes to him..I dont really mind. :D
This is weird....

I was going to ask you about that last night, but didn't get around to it. I must be psycho.

....I mean psychic. "PSYCHIC" is what I meant to type! Honest!.... lol

So, here's my question: Between school/work all day, and Matt, JUB, and phone calls all night, when DO you sleep, buddy?

Gotta go to work. More later.

Jake
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

You kill me sometimes Brian. Andy is dying to tell you. He's about to go nuts with not being able top tell you. He feels like less of a man because he's come to the realization that you're the only one for him. I told you it would be difficult for him to deal with. Even if you wanted to just be brothers at this point that's not what he wants, he wants to be with you, period. Don't worry, he'll come to terms with it sooner or later.

And eventually he'll be able to say it...even with you always trying to steer the conversation away from that every time it comes up ;) He'd say it tonight if you wanted him to. It's up to you. Andy needs to say it though and you'd be doing him a great big favor by letting him say it. Can't wait to read the post where he does bro.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

I agree with CGHJ up there. Have you told him what's bothering you? I guess you will want to wait and hear from him first. It sounds like Andy is thinking of being with you. It was a good strong step for you to tell him you were thinking about staying in NYC.

Taking a stand to try to end the tension is a courageous thing, and necessary if you guys are going to get out of your limbo and decide to either draw closer together or end up only as friends. Someone always has to pull out to make that happen, and you were strong and wise to do it.

I hope you two will end up together. I guess its time for him to make his decision now. Bless you both, and don't let the sadder times pull you down.

Hey, I need somebody, is Matt single yet? jk.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Hi guys!

Hi Brian!:wave:
Hope you're having a good day.

Listen, I am NOT a psychologist (and I don't intend to play one here on JUB)....

....and I DON'T claim to be smart (hey...I'm a Royals fan...what can I say...)

....but I DO have a lot of experience with this sort of thing (my buddy Steve)....

....so I think I've earned my "street cred" (or in this case, "thread cred")

In my first post on this thread, I said
After reading (and living) your story, a few things are very clear to me, and I think most people here would stipulate to these facts:

1.) Brian and Andy are madly, desperately, head-over-heels, crazy in love with each other.

2.) Brian knows it, has come to terms with it, and has told Andy about it. Brian is miserable about the situation.

3.) Andy “knows” (deep down inside---really deep down---he doesn‘t even know that he knows) that he is IN LOVE with his brother Brian, he has NOT come to terms with it, so he is UNABLE to tell Brian about his UNDYING love for his brother. Andy is miserable about the situation.
You are romantically and physically in love with Andy. Andy is romantically (up to now) in love with you.

When you get out to Vegas, the torment of separation you two share will ease. Having you near him, Andy will be able to think more clearly. I hope like hell he will eventually come to terms with his true feelings for you.

He doesn't think of himself as "gay" or "bi", he's never had "gay" feelings for a guy. He probably doesn't know a lot of gay people--except the flamers--so I'm guessing he doesn't realize he can love you and still be the same guy he is now. But when he does.....YOWZAAA!

Give him time. Give him all the time he needs. Don't push him. And most of all....don't give up! If all you two ever have is what you have right now, I still say you are two of the luckiest guys on earth!

Jake(*8*)

PS* Royals gave me a bad scare yesterday...they led Detroit through the 7th, but in the 9th they managed to snatch DEFEAT from the jaws of victory! .....13 straight losses and still counting....
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

JakeLucas said:
.... PS* Royals gave me a bad scare yesterday...they led Detroit through the 7th, but in the 9th they managed to snatch DEFEAT from the jaws of victory! .....13 straight losses and still counting....

Hey Jake thanks for the great advice.. ..|

I got off the phone with him just today again and we were making jokes and we were talking about some gay stuff..about some of the guys I have been with...I told him I was with my professor in college and he just couldnt believe it lol. He was asking me some questions..throughout the call we would get quiet and then ask each other whats up...and we would just keep saying "miss you..wish you were here". :(

He kept saying that hes hanging out with his friends tonight and I would go quiet..He would then say he was just kidding and asked me why I got so mad and jealous...I go buddy you know why. (*8*)

I asked him what he meant last night by saying that he felt like less of a man..and once again he really didnt give me an answer..I asked if its because of the money situation hes in and he said "kind of". :confused:

I got off the phone with him promising to call later tonight. :D

Jake-My mets lost yesterday but they been doing pretty good. Andy said there is a game on tonight and he asked me who I think is hot..I told him Jose Reyes and he laughed :D and just said cool...He still thinks its odd that Im gay and that we can talk about stuff like that..talk to you all later. :wave: Brian
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Jake-My mets lost yesterday but they been doing pretty good. Andy said there is a game on tonight and he asked me who I think is hot..I told him Jose Reyes and he laughed :D and just said cool...He still thinks its odd that Im gay and that we can talk about stuff like that
You can tell Andy your JUB buddy thinks these guys are hot:

piazza
http://www.shanepsaltis.com/photos/Mike%20Piazza.jpg

nomar!!!
http://www.femmefan.com/site/images/lookerspics/lookers2/Nomar-Garciaparra.jpg

shawn green
http://www.femmefan.com/site/images/lookerspics/lookers2/shawn-green.jpg

brad ausmus
http://images.tsn.ca/images/stories/20050728/ausmus_84905.jpg

tony graffanino(!)
http://espn-att.starwave.com/media/mlb/2005/1005/photo/a_graffanino_195.jpg

these two*|*
http://www.mlb.com/images/2003/10/25/byf4WvT4.jpg
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Wow..hot pics...thanks..WTF is that one with the two almost kissing? Im just assuming its a tight close up of them talking right??? lol

Having a boring night..weather is sticky and balmy in NY and I just stayed in watching TLC all night....Im so hooked on Tuckerville and What Not To Wear that its a guilty pleasure of mine..and that theme song is so damn catchy...I never really heard of Tanya Tucker very much, but in the show she comes off as a genuinely nice person...if you can manage to catch it, watch it, I think you would all like it...

Shhhhhh....

Don't wake the kids
They've been up all night

Don't mind the dogs
They just like to fight

And crazy Annie she done lost her mind

This is my life in Tuckerville

So come on and spend the day with me
I'll introduce you to my family
We'll show you how it's done in Tennessee

This is my life in Tuckerville

I love my fans and I love to sing
But there's another side they've never seen
Five dogs, three kids and a mansion on the hill
You're invited to Tuckerville

So come on and spend the day with me
I'll introduce you to my family
We'll show you how it's done in Tennessee

This is my life in Tuckerville, Yeah
This is my life in Tuckerville ... All Right.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Haven't seen Tuckerville yet, but I'll be sure to catch it. I'll watch it while eating a half-gallon of Edy's Slow Churned!!!

btw, I'm not trying to hijack this thread, but you play any sports?

I love to ride my mountain bike. Can't do all the stuff I could before the accident.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

I really dont like watching too many sports but I am actually starting to get into watching baseball..and when my bro was here last winter I watched football with him..

I like playing football, baseball and I love love love volleyball..but really down for anything really. Brian
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Hey guys, back with an eeny, teeny, tiny, little update. :-)

My buddy called me last night at around 2:30am east coast time.

"Hey Bri, you were supposed to call..what happened?? I was waiting for your call."


He told me that he had to take his dog Rocky to the vet because he had to get his shots updated..but they found like a virus or something, so they treated the virus and put off the shots..he said it costs $147.00. So he was down about the money.

The past few days I have ben begging and pleading and offering him the chance to comedown here and visit me Memorial Day weekend. As much as he wants to he said, he doesnt like planes and is scared of them. ](*,)

I kept telling him "I would pay so much money to see your face right now..just to have you nearby.."

He asked why I didnt call back.."Were you with Matt buddy?"

"Yeah bro I was..we didnt have an eventful night, he came over..and since it was so humid and disgusting out, he just came over and showered and we just rested and chilled.."

"Oh so it was just a regular night then, no sex.."

"Oh yeah, we had sex..."


And we both started laughing.

I told him "Bro I miss you so much..more than you can even possibly know..."

He goes "Bri..you cant possibly miss me more than I miss you..I miss you so much it hurts, literally...you dont know how much I miss you.." (*8*)

The rest of the call was more longing for each other..than I told him I had to go, because I was getting very sad. !oops!

Im sure we will speak later today..will update then. Brian :cool:
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Brian, just keep telling Andy that August will be here before he knows it. (*8*)

In the meantime, enjoy your time with Matt. :sex: Sounds like you had a nice night last night. Keep it up. ;)

Joe.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

Hey had to add this...forgot to add it before. #-o

Me and my bro were playfully ribbing each other and joking..and I said I should have been trained by Patrick(another hot trainer in the gym..who my bro competed with for sales)...and he goes oh yeah?? I go yeah! :gogirl:

And he goes you probably thought he was hot..and I just laughed..Then he goes you probably had a crush on all the trainers in the gym..I felt like saying duh, even you too...He goes I bet you liked the muscled black guy that was there Joe(Im sorta into black guys)..and I just laughed... :D

He later asked me again why I get so mad/jealous when he talks about hanging out with other friends..and I just felt like saying because I love you...and the thought of anyone else occupying your time drives me crazy. But what I tell him, and which is also true..is that he wont need to have me in his life anymore because hell have other good people in my life..He said that he will never find anyone close to who I am to him and that no one out there even compares. :cry: (*8*)

Guys I love him so much..I really do.
 
Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

What's the latest news, buddy?
 
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